Body language part 2

[TRock]

Well, you know

more than I do, so I'll defer to your judgement (ON EDIT: But I'll keep what Gegogi says in mind, too). I've been

second-guessing myself with a Chinese girl I met a couple of years ago. I rarely see her now. She grew up in the

U.S. and had a boyfriend when I first met her. She hasn't had a boyfriend for a long time and I've always thought

that was kind of strange. I have been thinking lately that she just doesn't want to give her heart very easily to

anyone.

Of course, this girl has flirted with me in the past, and is quite beautiful. One night, she very

calculatedly and deliberately gave me a full side view as she arched her back. That is SUCH a sexy move.

But she

is much younger than me and doesn't chase guys (they usually chase her anyway). We've had a few misconnects and I

feel she gave up on me a long time ago.

to keep it on the topic of nonverbal communication. all the non

traditional asians girls i know dye their hair and get their nails done every week. i know it's stereotyping but if

it's tru most of the time, what can you do?
Anyway, most of my eye-locking lately (with Asian girls) seems to have

been with the more traditional ones, but it's hard for me to figure out who is traditional and who isn't. I just

out-and-out asked the med student the other night if she is, and she admitted she is very NON-traditional. By that

point, my interest was waning anyway. She is smart, sweet, beautiful, and sexy, but unless she changes directions in

her life, she and I will never be more than just friends. (And, no, she is not wild -- as far as I can tell, she is

pretty conservative by American standards.)

that's true what gegogi, if they were raised in an ethnic

community than they probably retained cultural values.

it also depends on what part of asia you are from. i'm

southeast asian, vietnamese, to be exact. southeast asians (vietnamese, cambodians, laotians, and filipinos) don't

tend to hold on to hold on to our cultural values. but this is only from experience i have on the east coast. on the

east coast you rarely meet any asians who retain their cultural values if they are 2nd generation on unless they are

isolated like gegogi.

to keep it on the topic on non verbal communication, all the non traditional asian girls i

know dye their hair and get their nails done every week. i know it's stereotyping, but what can you say when it's

true for all the girls i know.

[Gegogi]

" it's hard for me to

figure out who is traditional and who isn't. I just out-and-out asked the med student the other night if she is,

and she admitted she is very NON-traditional."

Of course what she and you consider traditional may be

very different. The fact that she, a Vietnamese woman, is in a Western country studying to be a physician means she

is non-traditional by Vietnamese standards. Travel and higher education for a young single woman from the "old

country" are unusual. But that doesn't mean she isn't traditional in other ways, e.g., male and female roles in

dating, sex, or family.

"to keep it on the topic on non verbal communication, all the non traditional

asian girls i know dye their hair and get their nails done every week. i know it's stereotyping, but what can you

say when it's true for all the girls i know."

I guess I don't consider that non-traditional!

That's normal female activity, Asian or not. You should see the designer handbags most fairly traditional Korean

women covet! By traditional I mean retention of culture such as language, food, music, TV/movies, morals, family and

other values and attitudes unique to their originating culture. Western materialism jives nicely with the most

traditional family minded Asian man or woman. The Asian work ethic rewards my relatives with lots of BMWs and large

houses. They still eat kim chi everyday and speak Korean at home. But even my 2nd generation cousins consider

marriage, family life and kids the holy grail of human activity. That's pretty dad burn traditional! They think

something's wrong with me because I divorced my Korean wife, don't have any kids and drag home different women

every week or two.

[Marlboro_man]

I know this thread got

sidetracked a little again but I am looking for everyone's take on these two body language movements.
1. A Girl

grabs your hand while you light her cigarette. She doesn't guide it like she is afraid that you will catch her

hair on fire rather she just kinda holds on for the ride.
2. I have 3 different girls (age 19-20) who consistently

put the crotch on my knee. Yeah I know it seems obvious but here are the details. I am sitting at the bar, they

come up next to me, and I turn slightly towards them and of course I am leaning back away from them playing it cool.

They are usually drunk (good fake ID's) and want to talk to me so they can either talk to me that way or walk

around my leg and come to my side. 2 of them are single the other does it right in front of her boyfriend. Do you

think they are trying to get close to the mones? (btw, they are all very good looking, one is an 8.5 and the other 2

are 9's, you know the kind of girls that used to itimidate us)
I know these both seem like obvious signs but I am

looking for everyone else's feedback.

[Friendly1]

I know this

thread got sidetracked a little again but I am looking for everyone's take on these two body language

movements.
1. A Girl grabs your hand while you light her cigarette. She doesn't guide it like she is afraid that

you will catch her hair on fire rather she just kinda holds on for the ride.

Generally speaking, any form of

touching initiated by the girl is a sign of interest. However, her interest may only be to see how much she can

manipulate you.

2. I have 3 different girls (age 19-20) who consistently put the crotch on my knee. Yeah

I know it seems obvious but here are the details. I am sitting at the bar, they come up next to me, and I turn

slightly towards them and of course I am leaning back away from them playing it cool. They are usually drunk (good

fake ID's) and want to talk to me so they can either talk to me that way or walk around my leg and come to my side.

2 of them are single the other does it right in front of her boyfriend. Do you think they are trying to get close to

the mones?

Maybe, but remember that girls sometimes just get wild and crazy when they are drunk. And if they

are using fake IDs to get into bars, then they certainly aren't very inhibited.

They could just be playing

around with you.

Alcohol can often induce a young girl to do things she wouldn't do while sober, including

throwing herself at a guy, having sex, doing drugs, and breaking the law. That is one reason for why giving alcohol

to minors is illegal, and why having sex with a drunk girl is usually called date-rape.

If you want to REALLY

know if they are interested, you have to interact with them when they are sober.

If you just want sex, well, I

suppose in the scenario you describe above that depends on how slick and sleazy you want to be.

[TRock]

I know this

thread got sidetracked a little again but I am looking for everyone's take on these two body language

movements.
1. A Girl grabs your hand while you light her cigarette. She doesn't guide it like she is afraid that

you will catch her hair on fire rather she just kinda holds on for the ride.
2. I have 3 different girls (age

19-20) who consistently put the crotch on my knee. Yeah I know it seems obvious but here are the details. I am

sitting at the bar, they come up next to me, and I turn slightly towards them and of course I am leaning back away

from them playing it cool. They are usually drunk (good fake ID's) and want to talk to me so they can either talk

to me that way or walk around my leg and come to my side. 2 of them are single the other does it right in front of

her boyfriend. Do you think they are trying to get close to the mones? (btw, they are all very good looking, one is

an 8.5 and the other 2 are 9's, you know the kind of girls that used to itimidate us)
I know these both seem like

obvious signs but I am looking for everyone else's feedback.

i'm no body language expert but i know a

little something. here's my 2 cents. i would assume if somebody was poking me with their crotch, they want me. they

don't want the mones, they want you. but like friendly said if you want to know, take it to the next level.

[koolking1]

My problem with

understanding body language is that I usually forget what I know to be true while in social situations. I know the

signs but I forget to see them.

[Friendly1]

It just takes practice. And I

don't consider myself to be an expert by any means. I just know what some of the books say and what I have been

able to apply to my own experience. But the same gesture can mean more than one thing. So, you have to practice

and be flexible. It's good that a lot of guys are not assuming it's all about them. A little humility helps us

keep our perspective.

[Gegogi]

I have 3 different girls

(age 19-20) who consistently put the crotch on my knee... I am sitting at the bar, they come up next to me, and I

turn slightly towards them and of course I am leaning back away from them playing it cool. They are usually drunk

(good fake ID's) and want to talk to me so they can either talk to me that way or walk around my leg and come to my

side. 2 of them are single the other does it right in front of her boyfriend.

Most attractive girls

quickly learn their female assets are extremely effective at manipulating men. It takes them years to learn to read

men for maximum effectivness. As a college professor I get the treatment all the time. Many women at this age are

good at teasing (for manipulating) but don't know when to turn it off and get themselves in trouble. Some of them

do it just to enjoy the feeling of power and have no intention of following through. Reminds me of my old tomcat. He

used to catch birds and play with them all day, biting, releasing, pouncing and finally killing them. He had no

intention of eating the poor little thing. Not that I'm holier than thou, I have occasionally been gulity of the

same (not torturing birds, teasing women for the heck of it).

[Marlboro_man]

So what your all saying is

that they are just trying to tease me right? Remember I don't give in to their whims so it has happened multiple

times. Do you think it's a power struggle on their part or what?

[Friendly1]

So what

your all saying is that they are just trying to tease me right? Remember I don't give in to their whims so it has

happened multiple times. Do you think it's a power struggle on their part or what?

It sounds like they

are teasing you. That doesn't mean nothing would happen. Sometimes, like Gegogi says, the Little Tease gets

caught in her own trap.

But they do like to be seductive and see how much they can drive a guy crazy. It makes

them feel more "womanly".

And I am not saying that ALL girls do this. I am saying the ones who tease on a

moment's notice are usually just playing around.

I've had girls bend over frontwards and backwards, hoping to

get a rise out of me, and I knew for sure nothing would have happened. I might laugh at their immaturity, I might

just ignore them.

I sure don't go looking for anything from them. Some guys would. It means nothing to me.

[Marlboro_man]

Cool, I will continue to

have fun with it. They all have done this on multiple occasions and I just lean back and make them lean in.

[Holmes]

I

agree, mild disinterest and self-assurance can make certain women want you if you have other attractive attributes.

Of course other "attractive attributes" is the key word here.

Crucial. You've got to back that mild

disinterest and self-assurance up with other marketable qualities, i.e. appearance, humor, curiosity, interests,

something (anything) suggesting intelligence and an awareness of/involvement in the world around you and...a

life. Nonchalance sans any of the above barely even registers as a punchline.

[phersurf]

Crucial. You've

got to back that mild disinterest and self-assurance up with other marketable qualities, i.e. appearance, humor,

curiosity, interests, something (anything) suggesting intelligence and an awareness of/involvement in the world

around you and...a life. Nonchalance sans any of the above barely even registers as a

punchline.

Very well said!

And appearance doesn't mean if you don't look like a GQ

model you're out of luck. It's a combination of being well groomed, taking care of you're personal hygeine

(probably not an issue with anyone here), knowing how to dress, etc.

[CptKipling]

I've had

girls bend over frontwards and backwards, hoping to get a rise out of me, and I knew for sure nothing would have

happened. I might laugh at their immaturity, I might just ignore them.

Whats really funny is the guys

that respond and get strung along for a while thinking that they are a super stud

[Chemist]

Ok guys. Sidetracked again. These

are my thoughts so far.

Regarding the three girls on stud muffin's knee - if a girl is really hot for you

and that close, you should be able to smell her - it gets obvious.

Another thing I've noticed - is that when

it comes to showing interest, most girls follow a very distinct pattern. And, yes the initiated touch is a good

sign. However, different girls are more comfortable than others - when any she first starts doing this kind of thing

with me - I have found the WORSE THING TO DO IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT SHE DID IT. Don't look where she touched you,

don't touch her back, don't back away, and don't lean into it.

Some guys actually say some wise ass

comment at that point, I do not - but the wise assers are the ones that end up making out with her in the parking

lot.

I notice when she does it and then mentally keep a note of how often she does it and the nature of the

touching appears. I have noticed that if I keep this up days later - the contact lingers and when lighting a

cigarette or passing a can opener - that she is actually quickly caressing when days before it was just a breif

encounter.

If she suddenly started the lingering caresses, any man would notice it - but she's ramped up the

intensity so slowly that it doesn't seem all that unusual.

Now I know she's interested - but I still do not

do anything. But, I know I will be kissing her within a week. Her resulting contact ramps up to a point where there

is no mistake that she wants to move everything to the next level.

And this all happens because I don't

acknowledge her initial touching. I'm not sure the reason why - but I conciously do this now. I know some other

guys who are more successful than me at hooking up find my actions to be somewhat counterintuitive yet they cannot

deny the results - they just do it faster - granted they are much younger than me and taller.

[Fatal]

Hey Chemist, do you think you

could go into a little more detail on that?

[Chemist]

My schtick is good and fun

conversation. I make the girl laugh by poking fun at her or using funny speaking voices while describing something,

The point is to make them laugh at their expense, but do it in such a way that they know I'm teasing

them.

Their subsequent reaction tells me what I need to know and it is her response that weeds a girl out.



Before I am start a conversation with a new prospect, there are usually other girls around that already know

me and all make a big deal out of my appearance - they have an expection that interactions will be random with me,

and funny often at their expense - but its not mean, it's teasing. As I'm interacting with the people I know

already, I keep on the lookout for somebody new. The most obvious sign is that she stares right at me.

Later

I will engage her in conversation - and within 3 minutes I start with the teasing and if you keep doing this, she

will eventually laugh so hard that she will instinctually lift her hands to slap your shoulder while she is

laughing. Once contact has been made, the interaction moves to the next stage.

Everytime she slaps me or

makes some physical contact, accidental or not, I make note of it - like a scientist plotting data and projecting

forward but not interfering or doing anything differently - just observing. Many times the slaps become more

frequent.

Over the course of the next few interactions, I keep doing my thing and seeing if she does anything

unusual while I'm handing things to her or in her area. If the physical contact becomes more frequent its a good

thing, if the contact lingers thats even better. Sometimes over the course of time, the slaps start becoming quick

strokes then after a while while I'm handing things to her, she will grab my hand first and then move her hand up

over mine until she grabs the object. This increase intensity is very gradual and unnoticible since each time she

contacts me, its only a little bit more than before.

Sometimes she does something obvious like grabbing my

hand and holding it or just mushing her head into my side then grabbing and hugging me and not letting go. Then all

this observation stops and I decide if I want to go down the path that she has obviously told me with her actions

she wants.

I think this thread is getting sidetracked. If you want me to elaborate more, please ask a more

specific question.

[TRock]

repost from

fs.com


1 Feel validated and content
2 Feel

you are high value
3 Feel strong and masculine

(You think its strange to start a BL post with stuff on inner

game? Luckily for you, you don't need to understand to make this work. Stop thinking so much!)

4 Relax in your

body and mind
5 Spread out
6 Slow down
7 Look ahead
8 Lower your eye lids

¤¤¤

Detail descriptions

1

Feel validated and content

Believe girls want you. Believe you are happy both with and without girlfriend. Stop

thinking girls are something you need and depend on to feel happy. Affirmations might be helpful here. If all this

makes you smile, then wear that smile!

2 Feel you are high value

Ignore/forget your faults and shortcomings.

Act and feel as if you are a really great guy with lots of friends. Focus on your qualities. Remember times when you

were popular. Expect people to love and respect you.

3 Feel strong and masculine

Think of yourself as a man

and do things that make you feel like a man. Lift heavy weights. Eat much and eat healthy. Get enough sleep.

4

Relax in your body and mind

Chill out, drop your shoulders, forget worries, breath deeper and slower, relax

muscles.

5 Spread out

Open up BL, spread arms and legs, expand chest, straighten neck.

6 Slow down

Make

your moves like slow motion, fluid, graceful, deliberate and slow.

7 Look ahead

Don't pay attention to people

who havent done anything to deserve it. Never stare at hot girls. Never seek

EC. When someone seeks your attention, turn SLOW. Never face

girls early in convo. Turn gradually against them as they EARN more and more of your attention.

8 Lower your eye

lids

Relax eyes, slow eye moves. Aim for a look that is sexual, dominant and relaxed, all at the same time.

Imagine looking down at a beautiful girl giving you the best BJ ever. Try to have the eyes you would look at her

with.

[Gegogi]

"Eat much and eat

healthy."

Eating correct proprtions of the major food groups, keeping sugar and fat intake to a

minium, avoiding harmful additives (e.g., pesticides or preservatives like sodium nitrate) and drinking plenty of

water is eating healthy. "Eat much" is not healthy or manly. You'll feel better, look better and live longer if you

only eat the amount of food necessary to maintain your metabolism and body size. Eating more than you need results

in excess fat storage, dull intellect and reduced self esteem. Of course if you do fatten up, you don't have to

worry about making your movements slow, deliberate and dull.

[TRock]

Eating correct

proprtions of the major food groups, keeping sugar and fat intake to a minium, avoiding harmful additives (e.g.,

pesticides or preservatives like sodium nitrate) and drinking plenty of water is eating healthy. "Eat much" is not

healthy or manly. You'll feel better, look better and live longer if you only eat the amount of food necessary to

maintain your metabolism and body size. Eating more than you need results in excess fat storage, dull intellect and

reduced self esteem. Of course if you do fatten up, you don't have to worry about making your movements slow,

deliberate and dull.

good point. i rather watch what i eat and have a six pack than eat all i want.

[phersurf]

repost from fs.com




1 Feel validated and content
2 Feel you are high value
3 Feel strong and

masculine

(You think its strange to start a BL post with stuff on inner game? Luckily for you, you don't

need to understand to make this work. Stop thinking so much!)

4 Relax in your body and mind
5 Spread

out
6 Slow down
7 Look ahead
8 Lower your eye lids

¤¤¤

Detail descriptions

1 Feel

validated and content

Believe girls want you. Believe you are happy both with and without girlfriend. Stop

thinking girls are something you need and depend on to feel happy. Affirmations might be helpful here. If all this

makes you smile, then wear that smile!

2 Feel you are high value

Ignore/forget your faults and

shortcomings. Act and feel as if you are a really great guy with lots of friends. Focus on your qualities. Remember

times when you were popular. Expect people to love and respect you.

3 Feel strong and masculine

Think

of yourself as a man and do things that make you feel like a man. Lift heavy weights. Eat much and eat healthy. Get

enough sleep.

4 Relax in your body and mind

Chill out, drop your shoulders, forget worries, breath

deeper and slower, relax muscles.

5 Spread out

Open up BL, spread arms and legs, expand chest,

straighten neck.

6 Slow down

Make your moves like slow motion, fluid, graceful, deliberate and

slow.

7 Look ahead

Don't pay attention to people who havent done anything to deserve it. Never stare

at hot girls. Never seek EC. When someone seeks your

attention, turn SLOW. Never face girls early in convo. Turn gradually against them as they EARN more and more of

your attention.

8 Lower your eye lids

Relax eyes, slow eye moves. Aim for a look that is sexual,

dominant and relaxed, all at the same time. Imagine looking down at a beautiful girl giving you the best BJ ever.

Try to have the eyes you would look at her with.

Great post!

These are the types of

male body language and attitudes that women are instinctually attracted to.

Do these simple things

(actually, they only sound simple, some of the things that require a change in your inner game take a while to

develop) and you'll be SO different than 99% of the other guys out there you'll have an instant advantage.

[TRock]

i went to class today. i was

thinking about just sleeping in so no -mones, getting dressed up, or doing my hair and i came in late as usual. so i

sat behind one girl and to the of another girl. after a few minutes i notice the girl to my right sending attraction

cues. then she stopped. a little later on in class, the grl in front of me tried to look at me and was playing with

her hair and rubbing her back and the sides of her neck. i think the girl to the right notice and started up sending

signs again. so that cycle went on for the rest of class, girl in front send signals the girl to my left would get

mad and send signals. i tried friendly's mimic body langugae game. i looked at my nails and i notice she looked at

her nails too, but that was it for the mimic game. so that was basically it for my morning class today, oh i did

learn something class too lol.

friendly, what is the proper way to play the mimic body language game? and i

notice the girl on my right crossed her leg and put her hands b/w her legs. i see that from alot of girls actually.

should i read anyhting into that? and would have wearing -mones and actually looking like i didn't just get out of

bed done anything else for me?

[Friendly1]

...after a few

minutes i notice the girl to my right sending attraction cues. then she stopped. a little later on in class, the grl

in front of me tried to look at me and was playing with her hair and rubbing her back and the sides of her neck. i

think the girl to the right notice and started up sending signs again.

Well, with the one girl, the hair

playing and rubbing could be flirting moves, but they could also be signs of stress, tiredness, or intense

concentration. I don't know what to make of "sending attraction signals" and "sending signs again".

i

tried friendly's mimic body langugae game. i looked at my nails and i notice she looked at her nails too, but that

was it for the mimic game.

It's not a game, though, and you don't want to mimic (or get them to mimic).

You want to mirror, which is somewhat different.

For example, this morning I was in a meeting with two other

people. One was a woman the other an older man. The man and I were making a pitch to the woman.

My associate

seemed a little nervous, though I am not sure why. I tried to relax and focus on building rapport with the woman.

As she leaned to her left (expressing interest in the presentation), I shifted my weight ever so slightly to the

left as well. I did not cross my hands exactly as she crossed hers, but I held my hands in front of me and somewhat

crossed like hers were.

When she seemed to withdraw and become defensive, I tried to open up my body language.

She responded by opening up hers.

I did not try to make intense eye contact with her, but I did keep my eyes on

her face or on my associate's face for most of the conversation. Every few minutes, since there was noise in the

background, I took a quick scan around the room and used that opportunity to reassess the woman's body language.

If I felt I needed to adjust my position, I did so.

friendly, what is the proper way to play the mimic

body language game? and i notice the girl on my right crossed her leg and put her hands b/w her legs. i see that

from alot of girls actually. should i read anyhting into that?

By itself, that body position doesn't

really tell you anything. In one context, I can tell you that it might be an indication of virginity or sexual

modesty. In another context, it might mean the girls are feeling comfortable. In another context, it might mean

they are feeling uncomfortable.

You have to look at what else they do, and what is going on around them. For

example, a girl might be flippling her hair just because a gnat keeps buzzing her.

...and would have

wearing -mones and actually looking like i didn't just get out of bed done anything else for me?

Maybe.

Hard to say. It sounds you may have had some interest from the girls. And it never hurts to keep them wondering

what is going on with you in terms of your sexiness. Sometimes you're hot, sometimes you're not.

[Chemist]

It's very hard to read someone

when they are just sitting in class in front of you. most people do not want to be there and will fidgit or play

with their hair out of boredom. Just sitting behind someone does not really establish any kind of rapport. You need

to actually interact with the woman to read her, unless you are already known in the area for being somewhat of a

celebrity - otherwise, she probably isn't thinking about you while in class and therefore her actions aren't as a

result of you.

[Holmes]

You need to actually

interact with the woman to read her

Thank you.

[TRock]

It's very hard to

read someone when they are just sitting in class in front of you. most people do not want to be there and will

fidgit or play with their hair out of boredom. Just sitting behind someone does not really establish any kind of

rapport. You need to actually interact with the woman to read her, unless you are already known in the area for

being somewhat of a celebrity - otherwise, she probably isn't thinking about you while in class and therefore her

actions aren't as a result of you.

me and my buddy are the 2 best looking guys in class so we assume

attraction from the get go. you don't need rapport for attraction. but u need attraction to get into rapport that

isn't ljbf rapport.

[Chemist]

Assuming attraction is a great

attitute! The next thing is to figure out if she's acting the way she is because of you are not. It's very obvious

to me when a woman is doing that, but it took a very long time for me to pick up this skill. Often I was reading too

much into what was going on.

When I see signs of attraction or interest, I will immediately engage my target

- I have found that lessens the uncertainty I used too feel when I was younger and admiring from afar.

[TRock]

Assuming attraction

is a great attitute! The next thing is to figure out if she's acting the way she is because of you are not. It's

very obvious to me when a woman is doing that, but it took a very long time for me to pick up this skill. Often I

was reading too much into what was going on.

When I see signs of attraction or interest, I will immediately

engage my target - I have found that lessens the uncertainty I used too feel when I was younger and admiring from

afar.

that's true. yeah i know the easiest way to figure attraction is to actually talk to the girl.


you're supposed to be able to get an answer from a person without verbally communicating it though if your body

langauge skills are good, 93% nonverbal vs 7% verbal (and out of that total 7%, only 4% of the 7% is truthful or

upfront communication). i usually won't engage girls that send IOI'S because they're no higher than 7's. i

sometimes will get IOI's from 8's and once in a blue moon on 9's and higher. i'm only interested in 8's and

higher.

[Chemist]

What's an IOI?

I'm still

in the stage of my game where I talk to everybody. I have found that being seen talking with every single girl at a

party makes a new one very open to communication with me. I suppose she sees me as friendly and trusts me if she

sees me bouncing around while each girl laughs really loudly within 10 seconds of contact. It helps, or at least I

think so!

[BassMan]

What's an IOI?



I'm still in the stage of my game where I talk to everybody. I have found that being seen talking with every

single girl at a party makes a new one very open to communication with me. I suppose she sees me as friendly and

trusts me if she sees me bouncing around while each girl laughs really loudly within 10 seconds of contact. It

helps, or at least I think so!

indicator of interest.

-Bass