Little help from the ladies (and maybe guys)

[kappakai]

Good afternoon ladies:

I have an ex-girlfriend, and maybe to be girlfriend again if I end up on

the right coast, who has a little sexual problem and I was wondering if you could provide a little insight into it.

She has problems getting wet, and consequently, attaining orgasm. She says it has been years. I believe it may be an

emotional issue; she has brought up the fact that she went through some issue, though I know neither the extent nor

the nature of it. I don't think she has totally come to grips with it, nor completely addressed it. She won't tell

me what it is either, but I believe it is up to her to reveal when the time comes.

Anyway, libido isn't

that much of an issue. She tells me she gets horny. I think it's more the physical issue. I'd love for her to be

able to enjoy sex as much as I do. I had a girlfriend before her who was multi-orgasmic and could squirt, and I

loved (as did she) the way that felt. I'd love to be able to do the same for this girl. There are numerous herbs,

tonics, remedies for guys with sexual issues (yohimbe, tongkat ali, porn, etc.) What about for the ladies?

I

understand COMPLETELY the need to address what emotional issue might be lurking in the background. I agree that

emotional well-being is intricately woven with a woman's sexual well-being. However, until she is willing to open

up and share, or address that issue with a professional, I don't see that happening. In the meantime, is there

anything, IF anything, you think could be done?

I appreciate the help and input. Look forward to your

replies.

Kai

[BassMan]

She has problems

getting wet, and consequently, attaining orgasm...

Kai

I keep an industrial-sized bottle of

water-based lube on my bed. Everyone has trouble with lubrication on occasion, specially if the session is long. The

sheer size of the one I have (it's, like, 17 ounces, with a pump) is amusing enough to overcome reticense about

using it. The pump is truly useful, as you can get to it with one hand...

Also, several of us here have had good

luck with damiana herb, either as a tea or a brandy infusion (look up Whitehall's wetters better cocktail in the

archives).

-Bass

[kappakai]

The problem is she can't get

wet on her own, or very little. I've thought about the lube, but it just seems strange to me that she wouldn't be

able to produce lubrication on her own. Maybe I'm naive, but then again, I don't have my own vagina.

By

the way, I don't think age is an issue, as she is 24.

[BassMan]

The problem is she

can't get wet on her own, or very little. I've thought about the lube, but it just seems strange to me that she

wouldn't be able to produce lubrication on her own. Maybe I'm naive, but then again, I don't have my own vagina.



By the way, I don't think age is an issue, as she is 24.

Has she spoken with her gyno to rule out

anything medical? I'd try the damiana. It tastes pretty good and it's harmless, other than increasing wetness.



-Bass

[bjf]

Those are all good ideas, but

obviously the most important thing is that she addresses her issue and gets closure on it.

[kappakai]

bjf-

i agree with you

100% on this. like i said, i don't even know the nature or extent of whatever she had went through. not a clue from

her. whether or not this is affecting her sexually is also unknown; it could very well be a physical problem. but

coupled with the issues i KNOW about, it would not surprise me.

i will try the damiana next time i see her.

anybody have luck with the various lotions and creams out there?