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Thread: Body Language

  1. #1
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    Default Body Language

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Every time this

    topic comes up, people ask for references. So here is a thread where we can post references and reviews. I will

    only mention titles. You will have to see if you can buy these books or not. I found many of the books by browsing

    the \"Sales and Marketing\", \"Self Help\", and \"Relationships\" sections at local book stores. There seems

    to be no rhyme or reason to where they are placed.

    Body Language by Julius Fast. Not very detailed.

    This book is good for people who want to learn more about marking turf than anything else. He spends a lot of the

    book talking about personal space and other kinds of space. You can learn about dominating the regions around

    you.

    How to read a person like a book by Gerald I. Neirenberg and Henrey H. Calero. Extensively

    illustrated, this book covers basic gestures, posturing, and how to identify roles within relationships (friends,

    lovers, bosses and subordinates, etc.). This book has some useful guidelines for negatioting with other people,

    including tips for men on how to read women\'s receptiveness.

    Body Language Secrets by Susan

    Quilliam. Includes a lot of pointless or goofy illustrations, but it is broken up into a lot of How-To sections

    which explain how you can work your way into new groups, new situations, etc. by employing skillful body

    language.

    Reading People by Jo-Ellen Dimitrius and Mark Mazzarella. Very good introduction to reading

    people. She is a Ph.D. with extensive research experience. He is a successful trial attorney. She consults on

    jury selection. She is a very detail oriented person and her perspective helps you realize how to look beyond the

    usual signs people try to broadcast. It IS possible to lie through body language, but she holds that there are

    usually tell-tale signs which contradict the lies.

    Body Language Secrets by Don Steele. He is a

    retired psychologist of some sort who worked with families and studied body language. This book is not nearly as

    good as it is hyped up to be by Steele and his followers. But it is still a good introduction to the body language

    of meeting, courting, and seducing people. He gives tips to both men and women. Includes many pictures of Steele

    and his wife. Steele has a preachy, amateurish writing style. He claims to have had affairs with dozens of women

    many years younger than him. He exudes confidence and is a dominant male. About half this book seems to be devoted

    to selling you his other books. But he does go into details on how to send certain signals and provides many lists

    and anecdotes on things to do, not to do in social situations.

    Freeway of Love by Jan Latiolais

    Hargrave. This is a dumbed-down, \"What colour is your parachute\" kind of book for people who want to learn

    about body language and how to use it to meet and court other people. She relies on illustrations which are not

    quite as goofy as Quilliam\'s book. She also has a lot of self-tests with scores. Many women writers like this

    sort of thing, and the book may be more appealing to men. Nonetheless, it IS a woman\'s perspective on body

    language and men need to take that into consideration. She provides chapters on palm reading and kissing (complete

    with statistics and anecdotes).

    I know what you\'re thinking by Lillian Glass. She is a practicing,

    clinical psychologist who has had to rely on body language in many situations. Her book is, in my opinion, by far

    the best one out there that I have found. She is not concerned with preaching \"how to get into anyone\'s

    pants\" or \"how to find true love\". She takes you on a guided tour of the basic human psyche and how we reveal

    our inner feelings through the way we physically express ourselves.

    None of these books, by themselves, will

    teach you enough about body language to make up for a lifetime of ignoring it. Several of them, on their own, are

    very good introductions to body language. Several of them give really good information on how to use body language

    at work, in friendly social situations, and when dealing with strangers.

    They will show you how other people

    evaluate you, and why they reach the conclusions they do about what kind of person you are. If you decide to change

    your body language, you are in effect changing your attitude about yourself. So, for anyone who feels a lack of

    confidence or low self-esteem, I think reading books on body language would be very, very helpful.

    It reveals

    an entirely different world to you.

    Today, for example, after I got out of dance class, I went to have lunch

    at a local bistro. I was seated in a section where I could look out the window (the hostess knows I like that

    section). But they were short on servers so my server had to handle five or six tables.

    At the booth in

    front of me, there was a couple, an older man and younger woman. Their body language told me that A) they are very

    much in love B) they are going through a happy period in their life C) they only have eyes for each

    other.

    How did I know that? First of all, they were sitting on the same side of the booth. Secondly, one or

    both of them would usually put a hand between his or her face and me. They made frequent, intense eye contact.

    They leaned in toward each other. They mirrored each other\'s expressions and postures. I observed all this as

    discretely as I could out of the corner of my eye. I made sure I changed the direction of my gaze frequently, but I

    had plenty of people to watch.

    At a table directly across from the booth with the age-gap couple, a young man

    and woman walked in. He sat down on her left. She crossed her legs and leaned back. His legs were wide open. She

    crossed her arms. She stole occasional looks at me (she had to turn and look over her shoulder to do this). He let

    his gaze wander around. They did not talk much. His feet figdeted (bounced up and down like he was doing a pee-pee

    dance in his chair).

    What I learned from that couple was that she is not very interested in him, he is not

    nearly as confident with her as he may once have been. They could have been brother and sister, or cousins, but I

    don\'t think so. Relatives usually have a lot to say when they sit down to lunch. She made occasional efforts to

    talk to him, but at one point I noticed that both of her feet were pointing toward me. That had to be a very

    uncomfortable posture, as one foot was still wrapped behind the other leg.

    She was not nearly as attracted to

    her companion as she was to me. I was wearing scent of Eros but was also a bit sweaty after two hours of vigorous

    dancing. I was probably screaming pheromonically.

    At a table behind this couple, a woman and her teenage or

    early twenties daughter came in. Mom sat in a chair facing me, the daughter sat with her right shoulder pointing

    toward me (same as the girl at the other table). Mom cast occasional glances my way in a fairly protective way. I

    knew she didn\'t want me to make eye contact with her daughter.

    The daughter crossed her left leg over her

    right leg and let her sandle dangle on the edge of her toe. She kept looking at me when Mom was looking away. When

    she saw me looking back, she immediately turned away. She turned her shoulders slightly so that I could see her

    breasts better (she was simply wearing a t-shirt, but she was still obviously developed).

    Mom looked relieved

    when I pulled a $20 bill out of my wallet and asked the server for my check. Not that I was going to move in on the

    daughter or anything. But I was the only single male within speaking distance and it was obvious that the daughter

    was interested in me. I was a threat, however remote, to Mom\'s little girl.


    Let\'s back up to

    dance class. The second class for was beginners. Lots of cute girls showed up. I and several other advanced

    students stayed around to help. I flirted with the girls a little but there was no way I could really come on to

    them openly.

    But I could show them I was a powerful, confident male. I did this in several ways, including

    telling them they could dance with their eyes closed. I ordered three of them to close their eyes as I led them

    through the routine. This was an act of submission, because they were trusting me NOT to make them look stupid and

    NOT to trip them or lose them.

    One of the girls, the oldest one (she is in her mid-twenties) came to me in

    one rotation and locked eyes with me. She said, \"Let\'s see who blinks first.\" She did. I was supposed to

    turn my gaze away as I led her through a certain basic move, but for her I just kept staring into her eyes. Her

    pupils began widening (I am sure mine did, too -- or maybe they were already huge).

    We kept dancing and as I

    whirled her around I brought her in closer to me, very close, much closer than the other girls. I was marking my

    turf and the other girls knew it. Did anything happen? No. I made no other move on her. I may or may not see her

    again. Doesn\'t matter. I let her know I was a sexual creature willing to take things further.

    After the

    class, she asked the teacher why a continuation course was not being offered at the same time next month. The

    teacher said she didn\'t have enough students for that level on Saturday. This girl offered to bring in enough

    friends in July to make up a class. As she was doing so, she was looking at the teacher but her body was facing

    mine squarely. Her shoulders were pulled back and she was mirroring my posture.

    I literally said, \"I could

    have you if I wanted to,\" with my body, and then I ignored her. She responded by saying, \"I am interested.\"

    I let her walk out of the class by herself without looking her in the eye again.

    Like I said, I may never see

    her again. But she WANTED to see ME again as she left that class.

    THAT is what reading body language is all

    about, gentlemen.



  2. #2
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Body Language

    Good post.

    (Did I

    say that already?)


    Holmes

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    Default Re: Body Language

    Excellent!!! I

    used to have an interest in this subject (still do, but I mean to the point of searching for books and finding

    nothing then that satisfied my curiousity). Great - I have a new reading list to get through!!! I hope this thread

    prospers, it\'s very interesting stuff.

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    Default Re: Body Language

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    Excellent!!! I used to have an interest in this

    subject (still do, but I mean to the point of searching for books and finding nothing then that satisfied my

    curiousity). Great - I have a new reading list to get through!!! I hope this thread prospers, it\'s very

    interesting stuff.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Definitely interesting! Iris once posted

    something about the stages/steps in courtship...how the steps are takened, and how it must be in the exact order to

    be successful. That I\'d like to find...the book &amp; author. Anyone seen Iris?

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

    Thanks for sharing, Signor Friendly1.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

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    Default Re: Body Language

    Not sure what

    Iris posted, but iirc (not really sure) David Givens discusses these steps and their order of progression in one or

    more of his books. I know this link has been posted before, but since the subject has come up again, some of you

    may find this useful.

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    Default Re: Body Language

    Hi

    all,

    After some time caring about body language, I believe that...

    - the reason why all body language

    books are bad is, that you can\'t change your body language by learning body langue.

    - You change your body

    language by changing what you ARE. Others, especially women can read this without being trained especially.

    -

    you can train reading body language better by learning how power, tension, attraction and teasing between people,

    especially men and women, works. This short sentence was months of hard (and fun!) work for me and I will learn

    on.

    - being good at reading body language means you need acurate theories how the powerplay between men and

    women works. Some weeks ago you could have seen my surprised face when I said to myself \'I can see!!!\', like

    somebody who was healed by Jesus himself. I saw a gorgeous girl kissing an average urgly young man all over. They

    both didn\'t speak. And I saw his body language - and recognized that this was what I learned before (by David

    DeAngelo and others) about the attitude that attracts women. One year ago, before I learned this, I could have

    watched this scene and wouldn\'t have noticed anything.

    - Acting consciously with body language is

    perceived as a mask. Let your unconscious mind learn and act. Again, this means improving what you are.

    - In

    your brain, pattern recognition is the same as pattern building. So the body language reading is done with the help

    the same part of your brain that controls your muscles. You can\'t say \"I now use the body langue recognition

    part of my brain\". But you can improve your ability by \"relaxing all your muscles and use your whole body as an

    antenna to perceive what somebody feels\". This also relaxes the right pattern recognition part of your

    brain.

    MysteriousMan

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    Default Re: Body Language

    Good Post, MM!

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    Default Re: Body Language

    Hi all,



    After some time caring about body language, I believe that...

    - the reason why all body language books are bad

    is, that you can\'t change your body language by learning body langue.
    Just about everything else

    can be learned from books. Math, art, photography, gardening, how to drive. Even how to speak other languages. There

    are thousands of books out there which teach people how to do everything.

    Yes, you CAN learn body language from

    books.

    The best books explain WHY it means what it means.

    Very few men can intuit how body language works. I

    doubt anyone can do it in the space of a few months. You mention David Deangelo. Sounds like you have been learning

    by reading.
    Last edited by Friendly1; 07-21-2004 at 05:09 PM.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Body Language

    At a table

    behind this couple, a woman and her teenage or early twenties daughter came in. Mom sat in a chair facing me, the

    daughter sat with her right shoulder pointing toward me (same as the girl at the other table). Mom cast occasional

    glances my way in a fairly protective way. I knew she didn't want me to make eye contact with her daughter.

    The

    daughter crossed her left leg over her right leg and let her sandle dangle on the edge of her toe. She kept looking

    at me when Mom was looking away. When she saw me looking back, she immediately turned away. She turned her shoulders

    slightly so that I could see her breasts better (she was simply wearing a t-shirt, but she was still obviously

    developed).
    I forgot to mention something I thought was kind of funny. Don Steele makes a big fuss over a

    woman stroking her glass in his book. This is supposedly a big sign.

    Until yesterday, I had never seen a woman

    do that. There was one night where I was making eye contact with a woman who stirred her drink and sipped from it

    whenever I did. But no stroking.

    Yesterday, the daughter stroked the straw in her drink as she looked at me.

    That gesture by itself is nothing I would bank on, but taken with all the other gestures she made, I suppose

    Mom\'s concern was a little justified.
    Last edited by Friendly1; 07-21-2004 at 05:11 PM.

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    Default Re: Body Language

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    Hi all,

    After some time caring about body language, I believe that...

    -

    the reason why all body language books are bad is, that you can\'t change your body language by learning body

    langue.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Just about everything else can be learned from books.

    Math, art, photography, gardening, how to drive. Even how to speak other languages. There are thousands of books

    out there which teach people how to do everything.

    Yes, you CAN learn body language from books.

    The best books

    explain WHY it means what it means.

    Very few men can intuit how body language works. I doubt anyone can do it in

    the space of a few months. You mention David Deangelo. Sounds like you have been learning by reading.





    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Hi Friendly,

    didn\'t you hear the emphasis? :-)))
    I

    didn\'t complain about books. My point is (and I explored this somewhat later) that I didn\'t learn much from

    books that teach body language itself. (now the emphasis is in italic). My point is: if, for instance, you

    want to express self confidence in your body language, learn whatever is necessary to be self confident, your body

    language will express this automatically. If you learn self confident body language, it will be much harder for

    you.

    So you see, I don\'t say reading is bad. I read very very much.

    Well, except David DeAngelo. I learned

    much more from his DVDs than from his books.

    Can you list good body language books and give some comments why

    they are good?

    MysteriousMan

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    Default Re: Body Language

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />


    Can you list good body language books and give

    some comments why they are good?

    MysteriousMan

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    He mentioned

    7 in his first post. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

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    Default Re: Body Language

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    </font><blockquote><font

    class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />


    Can you list good body language books and give some comments why they are

    good?

    MysteriousMan

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    He mentioned 7 in his first post.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Yep, I noticed

    after I sent it. Seems I read his posting as carefully as he read mine

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

    Sorry to Friendly,

    MysteriousMan

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    Default Re: Body Language

    I

    didn\'t complain about books. My point is (and I explored this somewhat later) that I didn't learn much from

    books that teach body language itself. (now the emphasis is in italic). My point is: if, for instance, you

    want to express self confidence in your body language, learn whatever is necessary to be self confident, your body

    language will express this automatically.
    Then let me point out that, those who want a little feedback on

    their progress in developing and displaying newfound confidence will profit immensely from learning more about body

    language.

    What you can perceive in others, you can perceive in your own actions. And people CAN and DO learn how

    to stand, walk, and speak more confidently simply by learning what to look for.

    The books I listed above cover

    different approaches to the use of body language. Some of them are not very informative but they add to the

    collective experience.
    Last edited by Friendly1; 07-21-2004 at 05:13 PM.

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    Default Re: Body Language

    interesting! i

    really enjoyed reading! excellent! thanks for posting this.
    ~*waves @u*~

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    Default Body Language

    Quote Originally Posted by Sagacious1420
    Not

    sure what Iris posted, but iirc (not really sure) David Givens discusses these steps and their order of progression

    in one or more of his books. I know this link has been posted before, but since the subject has come up again, some

    of you may find this

    useful.
    It is pretty interesting, now I know where the quote "come hither" came from.

  16. #16
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    I thought a little update on

    this discussion would be interesting. I am visiting family right now and one of my nieces took me to a local mall. I

    read the body language of some of the sales girls in the stores to figure out which ones were open to conversations

    with me. My niece got a little disgusted with her "dirty old man" of an uncle because I kept striking up flirty

    conversations with cute girls.

    It may have helped that she was with me and we were joking around. Seeing me in

    the company of someone their own age may have helped put the girls at ease. But not every woman/girl I made eye

    contact with expressed interest in me. I only came on to the ones who directed their full attention at me.

    My

    niece said something interesting to me. She asked me if I check out every woman. I said, "I try to make eye contact

    with all women by habit. Is it so obvious?" She said, "Yes." I said, "Is there a problem with that?" She said,

    "No."

    We then had a discussion about how I select women to approach by seeing how they respond to my eye

    contact. She said that seemed like a good way to do it. She was a little uncomfortable talking about this. I think

    it was because we have never had this kind of discussion before. She is not used to talking with me about

    relationships and meeting people.

    Throughout the day, I flirted with women of all ages and appearance. The only

    girl I did not flirt with (much) was one my niece said could not have been older than 16. I cannot tell how old the

    young girls are. Most of the ones I think are teenagers turn out to be in their early twenties. But this girl was

    just a bit too shy even though she told her co-worker to take care of my niece so she could give me personal

    attention.

    For the record, I had not applied pheromones that day. So, maybe I was benefitting from long-term

    buildup but I was definitely benefitting from being a relaxed, confident man. Besides which, I knew I couldn't

    ditch my niece, so I had nothing to lose with any of those women and didn't worry about whether I would be

    successful or not. Having that feeling is the easiest way to radiate your honest, natural confidence.

    Women pick

    up on that instantly and they find it VERY attractive.

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    Hi Friendly, glad to see

    the thread revived. I'm about 3/5 through the Lillian Glass book and learning.

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    Default

    Nice post....
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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    Koolking1, what do you think of

    Lillian's book so far? I think other people would appreciate your first impression. I have read the book several

    times and my opinion is based on rereading it.

    And I have to say that I would not have been able to flirt with

    several girls in succession several years ago like I did at the mall the other day. I would not have known how to

    recognize which ones were interested in me and which ones were not.

    Learning to read body language has helped me

    take a more active role in meeting and getting to know people.

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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Friendly1



    Learning to read body language has helped me take a more active role in meeting and getting to know

    people.
    I never read any books on this but by reading some of the things in this thread got my curiosity..I

    have some free time today so I'm going to swing by the Library & get me a book on this subject. Body language

    sometimes says more than words.. I really would like to learn more about it. by the way very good posts

    Friendly.

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    Hi Friendly, well - am

    about 4/5s thru it now and can't really comment much as I'm a fast reader and I'll have to read it all over again

    to get anything "real" out of it. I have learned from it but not as much as I thought I would but but like I

    said, I'll need to read it at least one more time to make any legitimate comments on it. I would recommend it

    though already for anyone who has an interest in the subject matter.

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    I think the most important

    thing I learned from that book was that the power of observation should not be underestimated. We learn by doing.

    And opening ourself up to the things we normally overlook is an empowering experience.

    I have had some

    discussions about body language with a few women recently. One of them is a child psychologist who works with

    autistic children. All the women agreed in general that we express ourselves through our body movements.

    Don

    Steele likes to say, "You cannot NOT communicate." Sometimes, I hear those words rolling through my mind when I

    wish I could hide my thoughts and feelings from someone. I CANNOT hide the way I feel. If I try to clam up, I am

    sending a clear signal of "I do not want you to know what I am thinking/feeling."

    People who know you well can

    detect the slightest oddity. This morning, both my sister-in-law and my mother asked me what was wrong. There

    wasn't really anything bothering me, except maybe a mosquito bite on my arm and the fact my jeans were feeling a

    little too tight. But I wasn't my usual jovial self, I guess. I was feeling a little irritated and two people who

    have known me most or all of my life noticed the change immediately.

    Steele is right about that much, at least.

    You cannot NOT communicate to someone who observes what you do.

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    Well, we're going to a

    well-attended swapper's party on Sat night (we went for the first time two weeks ago to this particular party). I

    spent most of the last evening there just observing and it was very interesting. One might think that everyone in

    attendance is happy but that's hardly the case and being able to read the body language helps me make decisions,

    especially about staying away from certain women based on what I can observe. If you've never been to one, it

    almost resembles a high school dance with all the posturing that goes on and it's complicated by having to "make a

    connection" with two people instead of the usual one, actually 4 people total when you include your own partner. My

    main goal is to know which women (of those I am attracted to) will accept me by using body language knowledge and

    then, keeping them hooked for the future, by being sexually adept and having them take in all the mones I'm wearing

    and sort of falling in love with me. Just trying to live a bit for the future and the moment. And, by focusing in

    on the ones I find attractive, if they hang around me it will get me other attractive ones as well - you know

    women!!! I do need some edges as I'm older than most of the attendees.

    At any rate, you (Friendly1) or

    Dr Glass would have a blast if you could watch how things unfold at one of these events.

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    Quote Originally Posted by koolking1
    At any rate,

    you (Friendly1) or Dr Glass would have a blast if you could watch how things unfold at one of these

    events.
    Yes yes yes yes yes! I think the only thing more fun than people-watching at an on-premises club

    is watching at an off-premises (ie, no sex rooms) club. Think back to your college days. Now, pretend EVERYONE is

    there to hook up with someone(s). Being well-versed in body language both served me very well and provided much

    enjoyable time when visiting such clubs.

  25. #25
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    This is becoming so habitual

    with me, I even watch for body language in movies now. It's interesting to see how on-screen "chemistry" between

    two actors is reflected in their body language. If the woman is stroking her hair when talking to a man she is

    supposed to be attracted to, or if she preens suddenly before moving into his view, or if they make eye contact. It

    is very natural and realistic, and that is hard to convey given all the changes in camera angles and multiple shots

    for each scene. The continuity (or lack of it) with body language is sometimes very obvious.

    I watched "50

    First Dates" with a niece tonight and I couldn't help but notice Drew Barrymore's use of body language to show her

    character's attraction to Adam Sandler's character.

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    I won't write anything

    comprehensive as I've just finished the book and will re-read it soon. It was a quick read. I guess the main

    thing I got out of it was recognizing my own personality type and I'm happy with it. As Friendly and the good Dr

    relate, practice makes perfect - you really do need to observe other people's body language and speech to get good

    at this.

  27. #27
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    I stumbled across an

    interesting site with articles on body language this morning. The articles appear to be promotional pieces intended

    to help draw traffic into other sites. Nonetheless, I read several very good articles:

    http://www.selfgrow

    th.com/bodyl.html


    One of the

    sites mentioned there was this photo analysis site:

    http://www.photo-analys

    is.com/





    Simply amazing stuff. My sister-in-law can look at people's

    pictures and give a quick analysis of their personalities. She has been spot on in my experience. It just blows me

    away how people can read photographs that way.

  28. #28
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    I decided to go back and edit

    some of my imported messages, since the quoting changed. While reading the older messages, I remembered something

    interesting which happened a few weeks ago.

    I attended a conference over a weekend. On the second day, I sat in

    on a small session where everyone sat around a conference table. At one point, I noticed the woman conducting the

    session was looking at me and stroking her pen up and down.

    That is supposedly a very strong indicator of sexual

    interest. I decided to watch her a little more closely after that and noticed she was mirroring some of my body

    language, which is also a good sign. Later on in the evening we sat together and joked around. I had good vibes.



    Still later, we showed up at the same party (separately) and she looked like she wanted to talk to me but her

    girlfriends got bored and made her leave. She waved good-bye to me and I waved back.

    I ended up exchanging some

    email with her and she was a little flirty.

    I got those clues right out of the body language books.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Friendly1
    At one point,

    I noticed the woman conducting the session was looking at me and stroking her pen up and down.
    I know

    most people who have never seen it (or more accurately, picked up on it) will probably think it's bs that women

    will do this, but I've seen it. This same woman, that evening, stroked my arm in conversation, continually bounced

    her leg, touseled her hair, and when it came time to do some dancing, pressed herself against me like white on rice.

    She didn't really do it for me, but it was explicitly clear I did it for her!*

    * Or at least my pheros did.


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    Okay, new anecdote.

    I am

    still visiting family in Florida, so I have cut way back on the pheromones and on dressing well. But yesterday I

    decided to put on a nice shirt, nice slacks, nice shoes. I put on my usual low dose of pheromones in the morning.

    I did not refresh them all day. Didn't even add the APC.

    By late afternoon, one of my nieces and I go to a

    local bookstore. We take her baby along. For a while, I am hanging around the niece and she is clearly a little

    bugged. So, I offer to go sit with the baby while she browses.

    Baby and I find a comfortable chair by a window

    and I position the baby in my lap so she can look around at the people. Naturally, I see a young guy sitting with

    two girls, both pretty cute, close by. I would put them in their late teens or early twenties, but I am a pretty

    bad judge of age.

    The guy had one girl sitting on his left. The other girl was sitting directly across a table

    from him.

    Both girls could see me but would have to turn to give me direct eye contact.

    The guy was rambling

    on in his own world. The girl sitting across from him was leaning back with her left leg across her knee. I don't

    know when she stretched back like that but she was wearing tight khaki shorts and sandals and she had REALLY nice

    legs. I never saw her look at me, but her body was turned just slightly away from the guy, a little to her right,

    so as to be pointed toward the girl next to the guy.

    The girl next to the guy kept looking away. Her feet were

    crossed under her chair and on their toes. Every now and then I would catch her looking at me and she would quickly

    look away. Or was she looking at the baby? I don't know.

    Eventually, the girl in the khaki shorts said

    good-bye to the dude and got up to leave. She came toward me, walked around the table to my right, and then came

    back across my vision and walked out of the store. She made no attempt to make eye contact, so I would guess she

    was just teasing the dirty old man with the baby in his lap.

    The other girl immediately changed her position.

    At first, she stuck her legs way out under the table, as if to stake out her territory. Think of how a small dog,

    after having its turf invaded by a larger dog, immediately goes to remark the boundary. That was the impression I

    got. She was wearing jeans so she was definitely not giving me an eye full of anything.

    Then she started to

    mirror the guy's body position. I watched them for a few minutes (not staring, mind you, but just glancing their

    way every now and then) and they closed up on each other: faced each other, crossed their arms together, put their

    feet out in front of them a little. She became more relaxed and more animated now that he was paying attention to

    her. He also listened more.

    I gathered from this that the guy was attracted to the girl in the khaki shorts

    (she was definitely looking sexier than his girlfriend). The girlfriend was a bit POd because of his obvious

    interest in the other girl but she was apparently used to this. He must be pretty popular. He is also into himself

    when he tries to impress people. He would NOT shut up when the girl in khaki was sitting there with him, and he

    could not see how closed her body language was to him.

    On the other hand, the guy is legitimately still

    interested in his girlfriend and she enjoys being with him when they are alone together. If she was paying any

    attention to me at all, it was only out of boredom or loneliness, and given how easily babies are girl-magnets, I

    would say she was probably more interested in the baby. Maybe she was wondering if the baby was mine. Maybe she

    was just looking out the window over my shoulder.

    When my niece was ready to leave, I decided to flirt with the

    cashier. I joked with her about exchanging the baby for the book. Got a hair flip, warm smile, and strong eye

    contact out of the conversation. She definitely changed her attitude after I started talking to her. I think that

    was the pheromones. I could not tell if the people in the store thought the baby was mine. I was a bit curious

    about whether they thought that. My gut feeling is that I probably did not act much like a father. Too little

    experience (yet) holding babies like a daddy would.

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