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Thread: Body Language

  1. #61
    Phero Dude Marlboro_man's Avatar
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    visit-red-300x50PNG
    I would say it does the

    same thing for the average man. It shows that you have confidence and that you have power which are two things that

    a girl looks for because it shows you can be a provider (of course this is usually sub conscience.) It is very

    affective from what I have read and I am teaching myself to do it.

  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marlboro_man
    I would

    say it does the same thing for the average man. It shows that you have confidence and that you have power which are

    two things that a girl looks for because it shows you can be a provider (of course this is usually sub conscience.)

    It is very affective from what I have read and I am teaching myself to do it.
    Couldn't agree more -

    several years ago a female friend pointed out that I often broke eye contact during conversations - I never noticed

    that I did it - Interesting because I've done a fair amount of acting & public speaking where eye contact is so

    important. It infuriated her because she felt that I was dismissive/disinterested of what she was saying, which

    was not the case. I worked on it and it's made a difference in my personal contact with others and my marriage.

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightlife
    Mine is

    definitely more fun
    You really have no basis for comparsion.

    It's enough to say you are satisfied

    with what you have and want no more, or that you are not satisfied with what you have and you do want more.

    Anything else is just a bit naive.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marlboro_man
    I think the

    reason that both of you are sucessful is because both of you think that you are right. I am not saying either of you

    are wrong, but rather what I am saying is that the reason you both are more sucessful then most men is because you

    both have the most crucial element CONFIDENCE. I would venture to say that is as much as 2/3's of a woman's

    decision about a man.
    Well said.

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by chococat
    http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/lovesig3.ht

    m



    From the Nonverbal Dictionary:



    I have experienced this. What on earth is going on when a

    man can maintain very intense eye contact like this? It's almost disturbing. Definitely confusing. No answer is

    given as to why this happens.
    Politicians are constantly courting people. They are not always interested

    in romance and sex (even Bill Clinton courts people for other reasons).

    Establishing that kind of eye contact is

    a means of testing the other person's resolve, integrity, and strength. It is a means of asserting control and

    dominance. And it is a way of ferreting out intense interest.

    Guys on the make and politicians all follow the

    same basic rules for manipulating people through body language.

  6. #66
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    Wow, I am starting to

    understand body language thanks to friendly and the books I have read. Thanks again friendly. How long did it take

    you to become so comfortable with your abilities to read body language?

  7. #67
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    I ordered some body

    language related books yesterday. Anxiously waiting for their arrival now...
    Like the Phoenix bird, rising from the ashes of my old self

  8. #68
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    Let me know how they work

    out for ya and which you would recommend.

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    ##########
    Last edited by Have_Courage; 01-15-2005 at 01:49 PM.

  10. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marlboro_man
    Wow, I am

    starting to understand body language thanks to friendly and the books I have read. Thanks again friendly. How long

    did it take you to become so comfortable with your abilities to read body language?
    Maybe six months of

    reading those books I recommended in the Body Language

    Thread
    and constant vigilance and practicing ever since. I have also read a few articles on body language on

    the Web. They are not nearly as helpful as the books, but there are a few gems out there.

    Learning to tune into

    body language has opened up a whole new world for me.

  11. #71
    Journeyman chococat's Avatar
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    Are you guys finding that

    pheros increase mirroring tenfold or so? This is one of my biggest "clues" as far as the effectiveness of EW is

    concerned. I love picking up my drink to see if the guy does it, too.

  12. #72
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    Thanks for the info!!

  13. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by chococat
    Are you guys

    finding that pheros increase mirroring tenfold or so? This is one of my biggest "clues" as far as the effectiveness

    of EW is concerned. I love picking up my drink to see if the guy does it, too.
    My use of pheromones

    made women who were interested in me project that interest more "loudly" (through body language) than previously.

    The chief reason for why I prefer the OD-level and near-OD-level applications is that the body language is much more

    pronounced. So, it makes it easier for me to figure out who is interested.

    Of course, sometimes, the experience

    is just overwhelming for the girl, but I have found I'm not really into the 18-year-olds anyway.

  14. #74
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    I tend to keep very long eye contact

    with attractive women. I do it because I love looking in their eyes, so why would I want to look away?

    I'm

    also able to draw long eye contact as well. Just the way you look into their eyes can signal that you are not a

    threat.

  15. #75
    Journeyman chococat's Avatar
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    Let's hope this guy liked my

    eyes. It gave me the impression that he was interested in me, and it definitely increased my interest in

    *him*.

    If you can pull off the prolonged eye contact and seem friendly and confident, it's a huuuuuuuuge

    turnon.

    What kind of body language do the women you like give off? Any certain postures you've noticed that

    are appealing and approachable?
    Last edited by chococat; 11-27-2004 at 06:39 PM. Reason: question

  16. #76
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    i've been experimenting lately

    with body language. on days when i'm projecting alpha body language i get alot more looks than on days when i walk

    with hands in my jacket and try to be comfortable because it's cold outside. nothing is done different except for

    my body language. i'm starting to realize how important body language is.

  17. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by chococat
    What kind of

    body language do the women you like give off? Any certain postures you've noticed that are appealing and

    approachable?
    Girlish, sexy actions turn me on. It's hard to describe in general terms. But here are a

    few examples:

    When I was dating my ex-wife, we went horseback riding one day and had to go down a steep

    embankment. There were tall weeds on either side of the trail, so she drew her legs up behind her on the horse.

    She looked so cute and -- to be blunt -- it showed off her butt in a great way.

    You don't want to seem goofy.

    It has to appear to be natural, almost without thought. For all I know, my ex did that intentionally just to get me

    turned on (it worked).

    When a girl is dancing with me, if she looks down submissively (not to check her feet,

    but to show submission), that is cool.

    Of course, if she brushes against me, holds my hand, stands close beside

    me, and in other ways acts totally comfortable and excited to be in my presence, then I get turned on, too.

    And

    I like it when they come up out of nowhere and run their hands down my back. The butt grabs are a little awkward

    (especially when they chicken out and run away after getting my attention).

    What makes me turn away (and this

    probably just me, as I am not into casual sex) is when the women go out of their way to show me the goods,

    especially by bending over in front of me (away from me, to show me their butts). Is that a physical turnon? Yes.

    But it just looks slutty, and I lose interest quickly when a woman does that.

    Another trick I don't like is

    when the women stand in the middle of the dance floor and try to dance sexily for me. Usually, they are drunk when

    they do that, and they make it obvious they are trying to entice me by almost glaring at me.

    The difference

    between these last two examples and what I said about the girls dancing WITH me is that the women I don't like send

    their aggressive signals too soon. They act like they'll give it away to the lucky guy of the night, and I'm not

    interested in being that guy. But if they wait until I've made the first move by talking to them, dancing with

    them, whatever, and THEN start to come on a little -- that makes it feel a little more personalized, and it's a

    definite turnon.


    So, if a woman is out on the floor dancing with someone, and she smiles a lot and runs her

    hand through her hair because she is having a good time, and if she looks like she knows how to dance, then I want

    to dance with her. Then she can turn on the juice for me (if I haven't seen her try it on other guys first).



    It's all about timing.

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    i got to get some of

    that stuff togetter looks,body language, cash to go out :P

    i find that some women overdo it & it gets me turned

    on but then i get that dirty feeling ... "she's too dirty must be f/ing tons of guys ... bad for healt..."

  19. #79
    Phero Dude Marlboro_man's Avatar
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    I feel the need to bump

    this thread up for all the newbies joining the forums. I found this thread one of the most important individual

    threads I read when first joining this site. Hey Newbies learn this stuff and watch the difference between when

    wearing mones and when not wearing mones and you will find how each mone works for you.

  20. #80
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    Curiously, I noticed my copy of

    John Molloy's Dress For Success sitting out and decided to thumb through it again. Turning to the chapter

    on how to dress for women, I read this section:

    WHAT SELF-CONFIDENCE REALLY MEANS TO WOMEN

    Most women

    will say that they are attracted to men who exude what they call self-confidence, but what my follow-up research has

    shown is that what they are talking about is more akin to arrogance.

    In testing in singles bars on New York's

    Upper East Side, I used two men who had tested equally sexy in the eyes of most women. When I asked the men to act

    in a self-confident or assured manner, the relationship between their demeanor and the way any women were attracted

    to them was practically zero. Yet when I told the men to act arrogantly, they were far more successful in

    being judged sexy and attractive. I do not know the meaning of this, and am not sure I want to find out, but take

    it for what it is worth.
    Molloy actually writes a LOT about body language, but he focuses on the

    sub-language of body appearance and presentation. His comments about the bar in New York, however, should probably

    be taken with a grain of salt, because New York has a reputation for being a highly predatory environment. The

    Upper East Side bar may have been a very competitive location, and women would have to naturally select stronger

    (more arrogant) males in order to be sure they had good men.

    However, his test subjects could simply have been

    acting cocky and funny, not truly arrogant. We just don't know enough about what happened to say much about it.

    But the one conclusion we CAN safely make is that, in any environment where you are competing for attention with

    other men, how you project yourself speaks loudly and you want to project yourself with more dominance and

    self-assurance than other men. That may indeed come down to being arrogant for a while.

    It calls for some

    experimentation.

    On a possibly related note, I have noticed more women and young girls (I mean underage teenage

    girls) expressing interest in me recently when I've been in a less-than-rosy mood. I don't mean I was angry. I

    just mean I wasn't smiling and chirpy-happy. I was a bit dark and moody.

    In the dance classes I help with,

    I'm now finding myself trying to get away from several teenage girls because they keep trying to close distance

    with me. I don't know if they would go so far as to rub their breasts on me, but I'd rather not find myself in

    that awkward position. About all I can figure is that, as the class sizes increase, I get a little more arrogant.



    I have been that way all my life. The more people I deal with, the more overwhelming (and arrogant) I become. It

    is a way of standing out from the crowd. It has its advantages in that people will respect me in some ways, but it

    also tends to draw lines I would rather not draw. I have more than once found myself isolated from the group

    because people didn't know how to deal with me.

    Knowing I have this effect on people, and knowing when I

    subconsciously begin to behave that way, I have a chance with each new group to put a stop to it. But it is such a

    deeply ingrained defensive behavior that it is hard to control.

    And that may have a lot to do with all the

    interest I had from girls when I was much younger and couldn't figure out why they were interested. It sure

    wasn't because I was walking up to them and asking for their phone numbers.

  21. #81
    Phero Dude Marlboro_man's Avatar
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    Friendly, If you were to

    rank these books in order of importance what order would you buy them in. I have already bought and read body

    language by julius fast but want progress to your level in an economic way. Also I am going to donate ya a 100 pts

    for your hard work on this forum topic because I feel it is very relevant to what most people are trying to

    accomplish with mones.

  22. #82
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    I like I Know What You're

    Thinking
    best, but Don Steele's Body Language Secrets gets down to the courtship and dating basics right

    away. The biggest drawback to his book is that almost half of it seems to be an ad for his other books.

    After

    those two, the rest can be read in any order you please. Freeway of Love is also focusing on courtship and

    romance, but the general purpose books have a lot to teach about reading and projecting body language.

  23. #83
    Phero Enthusiast phersurf's Avatar
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    I read and studied several of

    the respected body language books. I then applied what I learned thinking it was going to allow me to find the women

    that were attracted to me and it would be a "sure thing" to approach these women, take them out and become intimate

    with them.

    What I didn't know is that once I approached them I was doing so many things to destroy that

    attraction that my success rate was no better (very few men are physically attractive enough to become intimate with

    women based on looks alone).

    I have since discovered that it doesn't matter if a woman has any kind of

    intitial attraction to me, I can still approach her and have a fairly good chance of creating attraction with her.

    I'm the one doing the choosing.

    From a purelly intelectual excersise, reading body language is kind of fun.

    But from a technique to pick up women, it is only slightly useful.

  24. #84
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    If anyone is interested, the

    titles listed above are available on Ebay at a substantial discount to the retail price. Look for the most recent

    edition if there are multiple sources.

    Best wishes...

  25. #85
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    Default Body Language Secrets by Susan Quilliam

    This book lost my attention in the first 10 pages. The book really said nothing at that point and I put it away.

    Did I miss something? Should I give the book a second chance? Does she really have anything to say that is

    useful?

  26. #86
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    Well clearly you learned

    how to read that body language to study others but I believe you were missing the most obvious and usefull part and

    that is how to portray your own body language to show the confidence they desire. Your own body language is where

    this stuff is most useful in meeting women but it also helps to know whats on their mind when you do approach them

    to see whether you are advancing favorably or wasting your time.
    Quote Originally Posted by phersurf
    I read and studied several of the

    respected body language books. I then applied what I learned thinking it was going to allow me to find the women

    that were attracted to me and it would be a "sure thing" to approach these women, take them out and become intimate

    with them.

    What I didn't know is that once I approached them I was doing so many things to destroy that

    attraction that my success rate was no better (very few men are physically attractive enough to become intimate with

    women based on looks alone).

    I have since discovered that it doesn't matter if a woman has any kind of

    intitial attraction to me, I can still approach her and have a fairly good chance of creating attraction with her.

    I'm the one doing the choosing.

    From a purelly intelectual excersise, reading body language is kind of fun. But

    from a technique to pick up women, it is only slightly useful.

  27. #87
    Phero Enthusiast phersurf's Avatar
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    Marlboro, You're probably

    right.

    At the time I studied it I didn't focus on that part of my game. I was one of those guys that

    thought there was a magic bullet for picking up women. I figured that some combination of seeing a woman with the

    right body language and using the right pickup line would do it.

    Since studying David D and Keanu Jager, I

    figured that my whole game is internal. But I still didn't need to force myself to project the right body

    language,it just came naturally after being in the feild and using their techniques.

  28. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by OCP
    This book lost my

    attention in the first 10 pages. The book really said nothing at that point and I put it away. Did I miss something?

    Should I give the book a second chance? Does she really have anything to say that is useful?
    While I

    don't agree with Phersurf about body language being only marginally useful for meeting women, I do believe you have

    to be in the right frame of mind to maximize the benefit you'll gain from it.

    So, that said, the value that

    particular book, or ANY book, offers you really depends on your priorities. Each of those authors has a different

    take on the subject. Some of them deal with sex, seduction, romance, courtship, whatever more than the others.

    Some of them are better writers than others.

    If you just want a quick checklist of things to look for, you can

    actually get those off the Web without spending a dime. But the Web freebie info doesn't educate you in the

    subtleties of understanding and interpreting body language.

    Ultimately, all you get from it is an educated guess

    about a person's state of mind. There are many uncertain moments, and to deal with those you have to do something

    to elicit more action from whomever you are observing, or else be very, very patient.

    But these people are not

    like the neurolinguistic programming advocates, whose books try to tell you how to manipulate someone into achieving

    a certain state of mind and, from there, taking a certain action. The body language experts are trying to observe

    some ethical boundaries that the neurolinguistic experts don't share.

    And I am not condemning the

    neurolinguists. I am just pointing out that the kinesiologists draw some lines that the neurolinguists go past. I

    am pretty sure that kinesics is important (or should be) in neurolinguistic programming.

  29. #89
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    All I'm sayng is that if you

    wait for a woman to show you some sort of signs of interest, you're decreasing the number of women you might be

    able to create attraction with to those few that are already attracted to you (unless you look like a model).



    Very few men are physically attractive enough to have most women instantly attracted to them based on looks

    alone. Luckily for men, women base less of their choices on physical attractiveness alone (not that it's not

    important to them). Women are more intersted in the type of attitudes and behaviors in men that demonstrate high

    status, relaxed confidence, lack of neediness, that he is in demand and could care less if she is intersted in him

    or not. Yes, using body language to help comunicate these is imortant, but just getting out in the field and

    approaching women and becoming more confortable and confident automatically improves body language.

    All I'm

    telling you is that since I've been using David D's and Keanu Jager's info, I've approached, dated and slept

    with more beautiful women in the last 6-8 months than in the previous 10 years. And I don't use any NLP (other than

    improving myself) or other manipulative acts to do this.

    And tell me, what's more manipulative, acting like

    (and becoming) the type of man that women are attracted to at instinctual level or taking a woman to an expensive

    restaurant, buying her gifts, doing nice things for her in an attempt to get her to like you (you don't think an

    attractive woman knows what you're trying to do when you do these things?).

  30. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by phersurf
    All I'm sayng

    is that if you wait for a woman to show you some sort of signs of interest, you're decreasing the number of women

    you might be able to create attraction with to those few that are already attracted to you (unless you look like a

    model).
    I cannot agree with that at all. Women express their interest in a man very quickly. It is an

    instinctive reaction, just like the way we gawk. It's just that most guys don't recognize those signs of

    interest.

    You cannot "create" attraction in a woman, despite what DeAngelo and others say. All you can do is

    trip trigger switches that she already has. That is, she is attracted to certain qualities, and you either show her

    you have those qualities or you don't.

    In study after study, women consistently do NOT pick physically

    attractive men over other men unless everything else is equal: status, income, and persnality.

    What women find

    attractive in men are confidence, achievement, and security. Looks are not anywhere near important as demeanor.



    No matter how successful you feel you are today, improve your knowledge of body language, and you'll see how much

    more success you can experience.

    Women use their body language to communicate to men all the time. Most guys

    have no idea of how many opportunities they let slip by.

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