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Thread: Body Language

  1. #31
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Using babies to pick up chicks!!!

    Nice!

  2. #32
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    New anecdote.

    Last night I

    went to dinner with another of my nieces (to celebrate her upcoming birthday) and some of her friends. There were

    two women, two boys, and four men in the group (counting me). Call the niece Angie, the niece's girlfriend Wendy.

    Angie's boyfriend Tom came along, and Wendy's boyfriend Rupert came along with his two sons. A male friend,

    Robbie, was also there.

    I sat at the head of our table. Tom sat to my right, Angie (my niece) sat to his right,

    Robbie sat on her right, and opposite from me was Older Son. On my left was Younger Son, on his left was Wendy, and

    on her left was Rupert. All the names have been changed to keep me confused.

    So, during the evening, I noticed

    that Angie and Wendy kept mirroring each other. They were very comfortable with each other, having been friends for

    years. Rupert occasionally leaned back in his chair and sometimes leaned toward Wendy. She occasionally leaned

    toward him. Wendy occasionally leaned toward me as well (I was wearing pheromones and a good cologne).

    Robbie

    sat at an angle, with his body facing our table and occasionally leaning toward Angie (my niece). I decided that he

    likes her, but I don't know if he is romantically interested or just very good friends with her. I have heard about

    Robbie from all the family, who insist I should have met him already, but this was the first time he and I had ever

    run into each other.

    Tom did not lean toward Angie. He did not mirror her body language at all. She occasionally

    leaned toward him. He stayed focused on the table and often led the conversation. Once in a while he put his arm out

    to "claim" Angie and he occasionally kissed her. When Tom and Angie are together, they are very affectionate but it

    is clear to everyone in the family that he is not committed to her. I noticed how his body language reflected that

    last night. The whole clan is convinced she is heading for heartbreak.

    Anyway, it was an interesting exercise in

    reading body language of some strangers up close when they were not really interacting with me. And I did get to

    read some body language of people at other tables.

    There was a girl in a red dress sitting at a 45 degree angle

    off to my right. I had to look over Tom's shoulder to see her, so I could easily act like I was looking at him and

    still give her eye contact. She often looked back at me and I stared her down. Each time, she would lean to her

    left. I noticed her male companion, probably her boyfriend, was leaning to HIS left, so the sequence would be: girl

    glances at me, I notice girl looking at me, I stare back, she looks at boyfriend and mirrors his body language.



    This happened at least four or five times. He eventually turned around and looked in my direction but he could

    have been looking for a server. At some point in the evening, they left the restaurant.

    To my left, behind the

    Younger Son (who was seated on my immediate left), there was a table with several women. One of them got up an went

    to the restroom a couple of times, preening as she walked by us. But no eye contact.

    A family sat down behind

    Older Son at the far end of the table. A father, mother, and two teenage daughters. The older teenage daughter

    occasionally made eye contact with me and I was a bit amused, somewhat curious. She seemed to be mirroring her

    father's body language, so I occasionally decided to mirror hers. It didn't seem to have any effect, so I am not

    sure her eye contact was for real. She may simply have been staring off in my direction. But at one point I noticed

    she was dipping her tea spoon into her tea (up and down, up and down) and looking in my general direction. That is

    very similar to the classic stroking gesture. She repeated it with a straw a little while later.

    Both times she

    did the stroking gesture, she immediately turned to her father and mirrored his body language.

    Mom had her back

    to me and I never saw much movement from her. The younger sister seemed pretty quiet, too. Dad was the most

    expressive one in the group. It was an odd study in body language.

    I occasionally glanced around the restaurant

    but none of the other patrons were in positions where I could watch them without blatently staring.

    I would

    consider the girl in red a hit. Our server, a guy, tended to conduct business with our table from my end. I would

    say that was more because I was the man at the head of the table than for anything else. I don't think Wendy was

    being anything other than friendly, although she occasionally caressed her hair. Since she is living with Rupert,

    one would think she was doing that for him. But she could just as easily have been doing it for Tom or for our

    server (a tall, good looking guy). She could also have just been stroking her hair. But she never stroked her hair

    on Rupert's side. In fact, she rarely looked at him. Most of her attention was on the rest of the table.
    Last edited by Friendly1; 08-03-2004 at 01:39 PM.

  3. #33
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    You brought up something very

    interesting Friendly.. Namely the amazing opportunities that await an avid people-watcher in a restaurant that

    attracts groups and families. I remember sitting in a Morton's about a year ago and watching what I considered a

    VERY interesting family. From the seating and the shuffling that followed, I was able to infer that there was some

    EXTREMELY bad blood between a 30-something woman and a man I assumed to be her father. While her brother was happy

    to sit next to his father, she went to great lengths to keep not only herself, but her young daughter as well, away

    from her father. Though not sloppily drunk, it quickly became apparent that dad liked to knock a few back from time

    to time. His wife grew increasingly exasperated with the patriarch's drinking, but said nothing, only showing it

    through growing increasingly closed to him and open to her daughter.

    Once you are clued in about what to

    watch, it almost becomes like a game to try to predict what will happen next. You can easily spot the guys who will

    spend the night flitting from one woman to the next because they persist in communicating even when every sign from

    a woman says "get the hell away from me." Similarly, you increase your own chances of a friendly response because

    you've already been given non-verbal approval to approach.

  4. #34
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by camusflage
    You brought

    up something very interesting Friendly.. Namely the amazing opportunities that await an avid people-watcher in a

    restaurant that attracts groups and families. I remember sitting in a Morton's about a year ago and watching what I

    considered a VERY interesting family. From the seating and the shuffling that followed, I was able to infer that

    there was some EXTREMELY bad blood between a 30-something woman and a man I assumed to be her father. While her

    brother was happy to sit next to his father, she went to great lengths to keep not only herself, but her young

    daughter as well, away from her father. Though not sloppily drunk, it quickly became apparent that dad liked to

    knock a few back from time to time. His wife grew increasingly exasperated with the patriarch's drinking, but said

    nothing, only showing it through growing increasingly closed to him and open to her daughter.

    Once you are clued

    in about what to watch, it almost becomes like a game to try to predict what will happen next. You can easily spot

    the guys who will spend the night flitting from one woman to the next because they persist in communicating even

    when every sign from a woman says "get the hell away from me." Similarly, you increase your own chances of a

    friendly response because you've already been given non-verbal approval to approach.
    This was

    good.

  5. #35
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    Another new anecdote. There is

    too little information in this one for me to form a solid opinion. Maybe I got a hit. It sure felt like a hit.

    Some people may disagree with me because of the situation (and that is okay).

    When I went to get a haircut, I

    freshened my APC with four new dabs. Had applied pheromones in late morning, got the haircut in late afternoon.

    Wasn't expecting anything, really. Just needed the haircut.

    Waited a long time and the place thinned out

    considerably. Much to my surprise, a slim, extremely cute stylist called me up. She seemed a little chatty at

    first. I sat down in the chair and she started running her fingers through my hair, almost massaging my scalp. I

    was very glad I am down to just using dandruff shampoo for the last week (too cheap to buy regular shampoo while I

    stay with my niece).

    When she asked me how I wanted my hair cut, I said, "I want people to melt when I

    approach." She seemed to like that.

    During the session, I learned that this rather thin but otherwise extremely

    sexy girl is engaged and apparently living with her fiance. She early on asked if I was married but did not

    continue to ask the usual "are you available?" kinds of questions. As best I can tell, she was just being friendly.

    But this was the friendliest scalp massage I have ever had from a complete stranger. It was really very relaxing.

    And considering I have a couple of thin spots up on top, it was a real pleasure to have a beautiful young lady

    digging her hands through my hair like that.

    Anyway, after the scalp massage, the stylist asked if I wanted a

    shampoo. I told her I wanted my hair to look good and she should do whatever she felt would work best. So, she

    gave me a quick shampoo. The water was a little hot, and she asked if it was to hot, and all I could think was,

    "Wow! Talk about the power of suggestion!" So, it felt tolerable and I told her the hot water was fine.

    We

    came back to the chair and she started snipping away. She kept digging the comb into my scalp. She wasn't doing

    it painfully (it was not uncomfortable, but was just on the edge of uncomfortable -- it was extremely sensual

    combing), but I've never had a stylist consistently comb my hair so vigorously.

    Somewhere in the middle of the

    session, she cut her finger with the scissors. It was bleeding badly enough she had to go treat it. Right after

    that, another stylist came up and said something about her taking on some man's young son. So, she took off to the

    front of the salon to get THAT detail redirected to someone else.

    As she moved around me, she pressed into my

    legs. Now, any guy who has had his hair cut by a voluptuous or very heavy-set woman knows that incidental contact

    as she moves around you is pretty common. This girl is THIN. I am pretty sure she was pressing herself into my leg

    (actually, onto my hand where it rested on my knee). I moved my hand off my knee and she kept pressing.

    Since

    she was working on the front of my hair, she didn't need to lean in that much (in my non-stylist's opinion).

    I

    would have to say that, overall, this was the most erotic haircut I've ever had in a public place. When she

    finished, she said, "Don't go out into the sun because people will melt when they see you."

    My scalp is still

    on fire several hours later, just thinking about that haircut.

    I was wearing Natural Attraction in additon to

    the APC. I have a bottle I am trying to finish off. It is down far enough that the sprayer cannot get the last of

    the liquid, so the last couple of days I have been tilting the opened bottle directly onto my skin. I could easily

    be approaching OD range with this application. I am not getting dabs so much as dribbles: two on the chest, one on

    each arm.

    I supplemented the Natural Attraction with four dabs of APC on the base of my neck (front and back)

    and behind the ears. So, after freshening up this afternoon, I had eight dabs of APC on me.

    Although this is

    more of a straightforward hit report, I included it in this discussion because her body language just seemed to

    scream to me, "I want to jump your bones!" She was definitely NOT holding back.

    Almost makes me wish I could get

    another haircut tomorrow....

  6. #36
    Phero Enthusiast Numanoid's Avatar
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    These are probably

    the best posts I've read since joining the forum. Very informative.

  7. #37
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    great post and I'll offer

    up my own suggestion about haircuts. I put on my usual Chikara and AE/m and went to one of the local beauty

    colleges. I was fawned over by the person doing the haircut and two of her instructors. The instructors were both

    very nice looking women and I was also getting approving glances from some of the other nearby students. It was all

    very enjoyable except the haircut took an awful long time - well over an hour with all the "consults" going on with

    the instructors. The young lady told me that she was more comfortable and faster doing woman's hair - she was

    extremely cautious with me, hence the slowness. But, I didn't mind at all. I think I'll go back there for my next

    haircut. Beauty colleges are loaded with good looking women and cheap to boot.

  8. #38
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Good idea, KK.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by camusflage
    You brought

    up something very interesting Friendly.. Namely the amazing opportunities that await an avid people-watcher in a

    restaurant that attracts groups and families. I remember sitting in a Morton's about a year ago and watching what I

    considered a VERY interesting family. From the seating and the shuffling that followed, I was able to infer that

    there was some EXTREMELY bad blood between a 30-something woman and a man I assumed to be her father. While her

    brother was happy to sit next to his father, she went to great lengths to keep not only herself, but her young

    daughter as well, away from her father. Though not sloppily drunk, it quickly became apparent that dad liked to

    knock a few back from time to time. His wife grew increasingly exasperated with the patriarch's drinking, but said

    nothing, only showing it through growing increasingly closed to him and open to her daughter.

    Once you are clued

    in about what to watch, it almost becomes like a game to try to predict what will happen next. You can easily spot

    the guys who will spend the night flitting from one woman to the next because they persist in communicating even

    when every sign from a woman says "get the hell away from me." Similarly, you increase your own chances of a

    friendly response because you've already been given non-verbal approval to approach.
    People watching can

    be a blast. I used to hate go to the mall with most women because they always take so long. Now I go so I can sit in

    the concourse and watch the people.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  10. #40
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    No new anecdotes today (except

    I got a shopper's discount at a local grocery store without the card), but the women in my family all agreed the

    hair stylist was blatantly hitting on me. I wasn't going to tell them the story, but one of my nieces asked me

    about how my haircut went. Naturally, I had to dwell on the details. She, being 19 (and probably younger than the

    stylist by a few years), was completely grossed out that her uncle is such a dirty old man. This is the same niece I

    went to the mall with, so she is getting a little tired of all the girls coming on to me. Of course, she seems to

    have a pack of boys buzzing around her like flies....

    Funniest part of this whole episode was the fact that the

    hair stylist is my niece's stylist. She totally freaked when I told her the girl's name. At first she started

    saying, "I can't go back there! I have to find a new salon! Ohmigod!" When I told my sister-in-law about this, she

    guessed correctly that would be her daughter's first reaction. But eventually the niece concluded she might just

    have to go back and have a conversation with the stylist.

    Oh, to be a fly on the wall that day....

  11. #41
    Full Member phinmone's Avatar
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    Friendly1, I just read you

    thread about the bodylanguage and the differend books you have read (or just copied the introductions?). I have a

    question about "I know what you're thinking by Lillian Glass". How much there is body language introduced? I have

    read Body Language by J. Fast. But it did not really give me anything I was looking for. I am looking for a book

    that really tells me the signs what to look for concerning interest and / or attraction. I can read some signs to

    look for on some web-pages but I think I want to know more about it. Ok, I can read some basic signs, but I need

    deeper ones! So what about "Body Language Secrets by Don Steele" - "good introduction to the body language of

    meeting, courting, and seducing people" -- this would be something I would maybe be looking for. Does he give some

    exact description how to read the body and how to make your bodylanguage interesting / showing the

    signs?

    Thank you,
    phinmone

  12. #42
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    No one book is going to teach

    you everything. Each author has his or her own style of presenting the information, and it helps me to see these

    different perceptions. Glass' book is not intended for people trying to find relationship partners (or sex

    partners). Her book tries to give you the fundamentals of what reading body language is all about. You can

    determine a lot about a person's personality from body language, and she provides some great tips. If you are

    interested in a girl, you should want to know more about her. Is she self-obsessed? Does she have low self-esteem?

    Is she so stressed out she cannot be emotionally stable? Is she so insecure that she constantly picks on other

    people?

    Body language isn't just about how we sit or stand. It includes how we treat other people. Glass goes

    over a lot of material.

    Steele's book is okay. His writing style is very amateurish. He comes off like a high

    school football coach trying to tell the boys to go out there and win the game because otherwise they'll look like

    a bunch of snot-nosed losers. Sometimes, he makes his points dead on. Sometimes, I wonder why he repeats the same

    superfluous stuff for the fifteenth time. Repetition is important, but he repeats fluff as well as facts.

    If

    you want a straight-forward guide to meeting, talking with, and getting to know girls through body language, you

    won't find one. Steele's book tries to be that, but it runs off into so many tangents that the real meat could

    probably be squeezed down to about a third of the book. A lot of the material in the back promotes his other

    stuff.

    All the authors agree on a few points, so anyone who wants to study body language can get started

    there:

    1) Be observant. You can Keep a diary of people you have observed and describe their actions and

    behaviors in detail.

    2) Don't draw immediate conclusions. In other words, no one gesture or behavior means

    anything by itself. Steele advises people to look at three actions. If all three indicate interest, then there is

    interest. If only two indicate interest, there MAY be interest. If only one indicates interest, then something

    else is going on. All the books strongly suggest you look for multiple indications of the person's mood or state

    of mind.

    3) Practice expressing yourself as you want people to perceive you. Do you want to seem strong and

    confident? Then make sure you compose yourself well. Don't allow yourself to do nervous or jittery things

    (drumming fingers, foot tapping, etc.). Sit up straight. Always practice good posture.

    4) Be courteous. This

    point is not emphasized enough, in my opinion. But courtesy elicits favorable reactions from other people. You can

    influence how people behave toward you through simple actions.

    5) Avoid people who project the wrong body

    language. If they are not friendly toward you, or not interested in you, leave them alone.

    6) Practice building

    rapport with the people around you. Rapport is key to seduction but it is also key to building a solid

    relationship. If you make the people you work with feel comfortable, they will enjoy working with you and help you

    more often (usually without your asking for help) when you need help. Rapport is not simply established by

    mirroring body gestures. You have to understand that it also includes breathing, facial expressions, and speech.

    Reflecting the attitudes of those people around you, without being facetious, is an important method of opening

    their emotional doors.

    The more you practice these basic skills, the better you will become at communicating

    through body language. Most people won't even be aware of what you are doing. But you will be able to signal

    confidence, reservation, interest, favor, and other things to people. They will simply "know" how you feel about

    something. And when you negotiate, you'll be in better control over what you reveal about yourself.

    The

    benefits to be gained from learning body language extend to all aspects of your life. You can even improve your own

    mood by changing the way you are sitting or breathing. If you are feeling down, you can immediately feel better by

    sitting up, pulling your shoulders back, breathing deeply, holding your head up, etc. If you are feeling happy, you

    can change your mood to something less jubilant by leaning forward, allowing your shoulders to drop/droop, and

    breathing more shallowly.

    Several of these books make the point that most of our communication is non-verbal.

    If that is really true, then body language should be at the top of your list of skills to learn in life.

  13. #43
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    I'm going to offer up another

    book, which while not body language per se, is closely related. The book is called The Art of Speedreading People.

    It helps if you have a bit of personality background (MBTI or Keirsey temperments esp.), but it's by no means

    necessary. What the book gives you is the tools necessary to determine someone's MBTI without knowing them

    intimately. It also provides some tips on communication between different types (facts and figures to an NT,

    thoughts and feelings to an NF, etc). Once you know a bit about a person's personality, it becomes much easier to

    interpret their body language. As an example, if you're dealing with an iNT (introverted intuitive thinker), don't

    take a lack of expressiveness to mean that they're bored or not interested in you. That's just their natural

    state. With an eSF (extroverted sensing feeler), pay special attention to their body language towards you vs

    everyone else, as they're often extremely expressive and driven by how they're feeling at that moment.

  14. #44
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    Check out the DVD In Search

    of Fire for a good study of body language orgins. i believe the consulatant on that film was Desmond

    Morris.

    Elk

  15. #45
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    I did a web search on "In

    Search of Fire" and came up with nothing. Where is this DVD available please?

  16. #46
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    It used to be at

    Blockbusters. It is a classic movie on the first humans finding fire. I may have the title wrong but I think not. It

    is quite old but well done. It triggered my instincts so much I came out of the theater checking people out. It was

    very primitive
    and the behavior was determined by the consultant Desmond Morris. I hope you can find it.
    Elk

  17. #47
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    I think the title would be

    "Quest for Fire".

    I caught part of a CNN broadcast today in which the body language of the Presidential debates

    was being discussed with an expert in the field. I think he referred to it as Behavioral Language Science, but he

    only used the phrase a couple of times and I didn't think to commit it to memory until after he said it for the

    last time.

    I am finding that I see a lot of standard flirting body language in movies: girls flipping their

    hair, looking down submissively, men assuming a "masculine" stance, etc. Good movies (that is, movies which are

    usually well-regarded across the board) seem to have lots of realistic body language. I caught part of "Footloose"

    tonight and it had some good body language shots in it.

    So, guys, the next time you watch a chick flick, pay

    attention to the body language when they show it.

  18. #48
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    MORE BL THOUGHTS....

    Because

    women are more communicative in general (while men are more analytical), they use both verbal and nonverbal cues

    more frequently in their communication with others. A study conducted on the way women and men enter a room

    illuminates this. On average, women exhibited 27 distinctive
    body movements while men only displayed 12 when

    entering a room.

    On the surface one might think this difference in initial expressive gestures relates only to

    the fact that women are more outwardly expressive of their emotions. But there is actually a much more important

    implication:

    When observers are asked to rate the estimated power or status of a person entering a room, they

    give higher ratings to people who make fewer physical gestures!

    As an aside - here's a critical learning for

    both men and women ... the less you move about when you enter a room, the more powerful you are perceived to be.

    More movement = less status.

    The reason for gender differences in expressive tendency can be traced all the way

    back to infancy. It seems that baby boys are more likely to be put down early, and are less frequently touched than

    are girls. Girls are taught from their earliest stages of development that public displays of affection are

    acceptable, while boys are conditioned to keep their emotions and feelings to themselves. That's why women have no

    problem hugging others in most any situation while men find it difficult to embrace and show empathy under even the

    most private circumstances.

    The above is perhaps the most glaring example and serves to highlight the importance

    of considering gender in interpreting body language. Generally speaking, women are much more bodily expressive, and

    as such, we require a greater intensity of movement in order to make a significant interpretation, as compared to

    men.

    * Cultural Differences:

    If the differences between male and female body language are visible,

    differences between diverse cultures are even more striking. In fact, the variations are so profound in cultural

    differences that one must examine not only the subtle differences in such gestures as greeting and pointing, but

    we'll also delve into behaviors you should adhere to or avoid when visiting particular parts of the world. For the

    time being, suffice it to say … what is generally accepted in one culture can be taken as outright obscene in

    another!

    * Familiarity vs. More Formal Settings (Home vs. Work, etc)

    When we are around someone we are

    familiar with, our body language naturally becomes more relaxed. Whereas touching and embracing are commonplace

    gestures in the presence of friends and family, such
    demonstrations of affection and emotion are less acceptable

    in the workplace. A normally demonstrative father may become downright stolid when placed in the more rigid

    workplace environment.

    In a PROFESSIONAL situation where a man and a woman are forced into close proximity, one

    might create the appropriate distance by omitting an essential part of the normally seductive body language, or by

    making it incomplete. For example, they may turn part of their bodies away from each other to eliminate the flirting

    factor. If you were to observe the same body language in a clearly PERSONAL situation however, it might suggest that

    the two were angry (or even disgusted) with one another.

    * Summary of Contextual Factors:

    - Women exhibit

    about 2x as many non-verbal clues as do men, so look for more intensity and frequency before you reach your

    conclusions.

    - Body language varies greatly from culture to culture.

    - The interpretation of body language

    varies depending upon whether the situation is personal or professional.

    To best interpret body language, you

    must take into account the culture in which it takes place, the gender of the participants, and whether the

    environment is personal or professional.

    This wasn't a complete waste was it? I saw one or two

    good points.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

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    My crew wrote an article about

    body language you might find interesting.

    BODYLANGUAGE


    Lets talk little bit of body language, and how

    it is connected to your attitude and confidence. We all know, that people communicate with each other on multiple

    levels. Words (what we say), is just 7% of our communication when we communicate, the majority of communication is

    done with bodylanguage, vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, and gestures. When I say body language, I mean: pitch of

    voice, tonality, speed, how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you

    move (hands… etc), shoulders, chest... You may ask why body language is so important. First, because it is how we

    sub- communicate with others.

    This sub communication is even more important that ever before, because society

    created a link between our actions, and how people feel. For example when you are in room, and you feel really

    nervous, everyone in the room will pick up that you are nervous, by your actions, tonality, speed of your

    movements... Such things are really obvious, even for kids... you can see when somebody is sad, happy, excited,

    honest, angry. Look at somebody when he foot is moving up and down. The guy who can't look anybody in the eyes.

    Somebody who is hunched over, with her feet together and she trying to not be noticed at all.

    Now, we can all

    find lots of info about other people by their body language, and find info about females too, the outgoing girl or

    woman, she can tell you a zillion things about you, just by your image… the way you move etc. Let me quote my

    girlfriend here: “I can see if a guy is good in bed, just by the way he walks.” That is so true. They can tell

    everything about you just by the way you look. It comes from experience, of all those years of guys hitting on them.



    If you go out dressed like you do not care at all and look like some poor guy. Well you probably do not care

    and are poor ... also, if you go out dressed as a money guy, you probably are a Money guy. As for the woman, this

    screening by looks and body language is a self-defense mechanism. She really doesn’t want to hook up with some

    Low-self-esteem loser, or some boring guy who doesn’t know how to give her some fun in her boring life. So they

    screen you, and try to find out as many things about you as possible in a short period of time.

    Imagine, if you

    are a HOT girl, would you give 30 minutes of your time to some boring geek?? No, you would give him 30 seconds and

    then the "buzz off" line.

    This is because she already knows that he is a boring, lame-ass guy. But what if some

    super-ultra confident guy, who is well dressed, comes into a room, walks slowly towards a hot girl with a smile on

    his face, and starts a conversation with a girl... would she reject him??

    Probably not.

    What if that same

    boring geek, comes into room, dressed like money, with full confidence, and alpha, relaxed body language... would it

    make any difference to success?? No...

    Now let me ask you who the guys who are really confident in our society

    are, with an attitude larger then life?? Who are they?? Rockstars, company directors, successful managers, Doctors,

    rich kids.... etc.

    Now, take a look how they walk, how they sit, how they speak... you'll notice something

    really interesting. They are totally calm, like they control TIME, they are not in hurry, the way they move, how

    they speak, they radiate with that super-confidence.

    Lets take a look what are most common mistakes are when

    somebody tries to pick up a girl:

    • Talking too fast (to say as much things in shortest period of time) •

    Talking too much (to hide your inner state (uncomfortable)) • Not knowing what to say next • Drinking (too become

    comfortable) • Asking too many questions (you want to create rapport too soon, as she doesn’t wants you at all) she

    knows its cause just the way she looks • Body language wrong (hands connected, foots too close, shoulders down,

    leaning in) • Buying her drinks (trying to impress her, or even worst, get her drunk) • Not being comfortable

    talking with strangers

    Now, all this, does it radiate with any confidence??? Hell no!! Take a look, every

    action here radiates with INSECURITY!!

    Ok, let’s correct that body language together, here is list of things

    that you must FIX…

    • Keep hands out of pockets. • Stand with feet wider apart. (Not This II but more like this



    I I) • Don't swing around with your hands when you walk. • Never look at the floor (down) when you walk (look

    above horizon) • Expose your chest • Shoulders up (in relaxed way) • When you walk, walk slowly, bigger steps, but

    slow. • Use lot of space no matter where you are, because it radiates with confidence... • Don't dress in too many

    dark colors (just when you want to contrast with something). • Don't be afraid to go into people’s personal space.

    Personal space is society bull. It doesn't exist!! If you if give a , its going to exist -- otherwise it won’t! •

    Always lean out… trust me, when you lean out, people around you will start to lean in to hear you. • Touch people

    when you talk with them (non-sexual) because you must create conversation on all levels! Not just verbal. (Later she

    is going to be used to your touch, and that is perfect for the pre-sex stage!) • All your body language must be in

    same speed. That means you can’t walk slowly, move with confidence, and then talk fast, like Bart Simpson!! • It

    must be at the same speed, otherwise they will tell you that you are 'trying to be cool' (cause you are sending

    different messages on different levels... so you are not CONGURANT (he is lying))

    One more really important

    thing, my friend would tell you "Pick-Up doesn't start when you approach her, it starts when you WAKE UP in

    morning!" and that's so true!

    A different subject is attraction:

    In order to attract a girl or woman, you

    must first understand why and how they think. Why we have an effect like Attraction, and why and when it happens.



    The easiest way to understand and explain this, is something known as 'Switches theory’. You know those on/off

    switches you have in your house for electricity? Now imagine 15 of those on one box. That’s how our minds are...

    everything we have in our minds are switches -- Women would have switches such as "Is he attractive? ,Is he Good at

    sex? "Off On.

    Every girl out there has a different set of switches, cause it really depends on their culture,

    their childhood, their beliefs and their age, plus few other minor things...

    But there are some common switches

    you must turn ON to all girls out there:

    --He must be a challenge --Alpha --Interesting --Unpredictable

    --Goodaverage looking --Not needy --Is he good at sex? --Does he have a sense for humor? --Rapport --Comfort --Trust



    Now, those switches can be either ON or OFF, there is no value in-between... for geeks, it’s all off

    What

    happens when you switch on most of those switches?? Wow... she starts to be interested in me... actually... she

    starts to show IOIs (indication of interest). That reaction is totally normal -- she meets a guy, and this guy is

    funny, good looking, interesting, romantic, not needy... etc. of course she is interested in getting to know him

    better (read: sleeping with him).

    Switching on those switches is also 'demonstrating personality'. You can do

    it by storiesroutinesjokes or actions...

    You can tell stories where you were romantic, or you go in front of

    the bar to watch a sunset... It doesn’t matter, as long as the 'he is romantic' switch is ON.

    Every story or

    routine you have in your arsenal is saying something to her (switching on some switches.) When designing routines

    and stories, first take a look what do you want to convey (that you are not already conveying with your looks,and

    body language.)

    The easiest way to switch On lot of switches is Body language & the way you behave, dress...



    Lets take a look at me for example. If you never saw the way my business partner looks, take a look at the webpage

    photo here...



    http://www.playboylifestyle.net/glavna1.jpg (Cut and

    paste into your browser)

    Okay, lets analyze together... what do you think about this guy just from this photo?

    Here is what others have said:

    • He has lot of confidence • He looks like some badboy or really adventurous guy

    • Good looking (average) • He is drinking expensive cocktails, so probably he has some money… • Probably sex is good

    with him • Alpha, he doesn’t worry what others think. (leg on table) • Lets also say unpredictable, cause he doesn’t

    look like some predictable guy... • Does he look needy?? hmmm... not sure...

    Ok, guys, you get my point... I

    switched On like 10 switches just by the way I look and behave. Ok switches I haven’t flipped yet:

    I don’t have

    trust, rapport, I am not romantic, interesting... that’s it!!!!

    That means 5 stories for 5 more switches.

    That’s like 5 X 5 minutes = 25 minutes to get a girl. Let’s say 35 minutes...

    Of course you can convey all

    those things through conversation, and that's fine. But it will take 10X longer! This way it works for me, and I am

    happy. Badboy

    Badboylifestyle
    Last edited by Nightlife; 11-22-2004 at 08:33 PM.

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    Default Reading Body Language

    Does anyone

    know of any resources that will let us know how to interpret body language? What should we look for and so

    on?


    I looked in Newbie but didn't see anything. Doesn't mean it's not there, I just didn't see it.

  21. #51
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    Just use search option with

    "body language" search string...that will lead you to some information...

  22. #52
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    Look at the

    Body Language thread in the Open Discussion forum. I

    and other people suggested some good books there.

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    Default ##########

    ##########
    Last edited by Have_Courage; 01-15-2005 at 02:00 PM.

  24. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightlife
    ... Words

    (what we say), is just 7% of our communication when we communicate, the majority of communication is done with

    bodylanguage, vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, and gestures. When I say body language, I mean: pitch of voice,

    tonality, speed, how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move

    (hands… etc), shoulders, chest...
    Your definition of body language is a bit narrow. Body language

    includes other factors, such as how we position ourselves in groups, what we do with our eyes, what we do with our

    hair, the way we dress, and more.

    This sub communication is even more important that ever before,

    because society created a link between our actions, and how people feel. For example when you are in room, and you

    feel really nervous, everyone in the room will pick up that you are nervous, by your actions, tonality, speed of

    your movements...
    This kind of unspoken communication is common throughout the animal world. It is not

    particular to human behavior (much less MODERN human behavior) at all. It is a well documented survival mechanism

    that even social fish exhibit.

    If you go out dressed like you do not care at all and look like some poor

    guy. Well you probably do not care and are poor ... also, if you go out dressed as a money guy, you probably are a

    Money guy.
    Not at all. I know guys with lots of money who dress like filthy plumbers. I know guys who

    have invested tons of money in clothes and accessories in an attempt to look like they are successful. You have to

    see a person over a lengthy period of time to be able to determine what their wardrobe is really saying about

    them.

    That said, yes, women screen by clothes. But they are looking at more than just how expensive the clothes

    are. They are also looking at how well the clothes fit, how well they match, how tasteful (or outrageous) they are,

    etc. Women judge the choices men make in how they present themselves.

    This is because she already knows

    that he is a boring, lame-ass guy. But what if some super-ultra confident guy, who is well dressed, comes into a

    room, walks slowly towards a hot girl with a smile on his face, and starts a conversation with a girl... would she

    reject him??

    Probably not.
    Unless she wasn't interested in talking with some super-ultra confident

    guy who is well dressed, etc. I've seen women blow off all kinds of guys.

    Now let me ask you who the

    guys who are really confident in our society are, with an attitude larger then life?? Who are they?? Rockstars,

    company directors, successful managers, Doctors, rich kids.... etc.
    And out-of-work hustlers, plumbers,

    construction workers, truck drivers, clerks, etc. A lot of successful business men WISH they had the confidence

    around women they would like to have.

    Lets take a look what are most common mistakes are when somebody tries to

    pick up a girl:

    Ok, let’s correct that body language together, here is list of things that you must FIX…



    • Keep hands out of pockets.
    Two hands in pockets is considered bad. It is usually taken to mean

    you are hiding something or feeling insecure. A man with one hand in a pocket (if he is relaxed and smiling) is

    often deemed sexy and attractive, somewhat aloof (look at men who model clothing -- they often have one hand in a

    pocket, or one hand grasping a coat lapel -- they are "in touch" with their sense of self and style).




    When you walk, walk slowly, bigger steps, but slow.
    Walk TOO slow and you'll seem awkward.



    • Don't be afraid to go into people’s personal space. Personal space is society bull. It doesn't

    exist!!
    It ALWAYS exists. Personal space is also called a comfort zone. A confident person will intrude

    on another person's comfort zone to see how that person would feel about further intrusions.

    So, despite my few

    disagreements, I think you and your crew have a pretty good summary of things guys can think about when studying

    their own body language.

    Now, about your

    buddy:
    http://www.playboylifestyle.net/glavna1.jpg

    (Cut and paste into your browser)

    Okay, lets analyze together... what do you think about this guy just from

    this photo? Here is what others have said:

    • He has lot of confidence • He looks like some badboy or really

    adventurous guy
    Sorry. To me he looks like an inexperienced, drunken college-age guy trying to impress

    people. He wouldn't get far with the girls I know. Not looking or acting like that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Friendly1
    Sorry. To

    me he looks like an inexperienced, drunken college-age guy trying to impress people. He wouldn't get far with the

    girls I know. Not looking or acting like that.
    You have your world and I have mine. Guess what ?both are

    right.

    Your beliefs are how you see the world and they are your reality. I hope they work for you

    My

    beliefs are how I see the world and they are MY reality.

    Mine is definitely more fun is backed by others having

    success and great workshop reviews.

  26. #56
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    <<Sorry. To me he looks like an

    inexperienced, drunken college-age guy trying to impress people. He wouldn't get far with the girls I know. Not

    looking or acting like that.>>

    I agree completely. Sorry, he looks like a tool. But I think there are some

    women who wouldn't see past what he is trying to project.

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    http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/lovesig3.htm




    From the Nonverbal Dictionary:

    E-Commentary II: "I have a

    rather interesting nonverbal situation that has been moving along for almost two years. I met a rather powerful male

    political figure who, on our first meeting, engaged in heavy eye contact, lip pouts, palm up displays, open stance

    and self touch (back of the head and face) and even at the end of this meeting a quick wink. I encouraged this with

    an involuntary head tilt, smile, side glances and the like. I think it was very unusual for both of us to behave

    this way. Since this time I have contacted him, in writing, about certain issues to which he has been receptive. I

    have also had brief visits with him on several other occasions. On each of these in person meetings, I am

    overwhelmed by his visual attention. He attempts to engage me in eye contact that lasts longer than a few seconds,

    and I react by gazing away and squinting/grimacing. I would like to be more direct, but the situation is very

    overwhelming. Do you think this is somewhat clunky courtship behavior or is it more of a connection to the power

    constructs of a political role? This interaction is disquieting, and I would like to figure out what is going on.

    Thank you for your help. disquieting, and I would like to figure out what is going on. Thank you for your help."

    --K.S. (5/3/01 12:32:33 PM Pacific Daylight Time)
    I have experienced this. What on earth is

    going on when a man can maintain very intense eye contact like this? It's almost disturbing. Definitely

    confusing. No answer is given as to why this happens.

  28. #58
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    I think the reason that

    both of you are sucessful is because both of you think that you are right. I am not saying either of you are wrong,

    but rather what I am saying is that the reason you both are more sucessful then most men is because you both have

    the most crucial element CONFIDENCE. I would venture to say that is as much as 2/3's of a woman's decision about

    a man. Guys please keep on posting as I have been paying very close attention to this thread and it has taught me a

    lot. Also thank you friendly for all the great body language details as I am noting and watching for them when I am

    out and I amazed how until I first began reading this post I never noticed any of this stuff. I was as most men are

    ignorent to the whole art of body language. Thanks to you I have already read to books from the library about it

    and I am going to get a couple more next week. One more question friendly: Do you know of any video's on this

    stuff that can help show and teach body language because it is sometime's hard to envision the words that the

    authors use and a visual picture would be so much more helpful.

  29. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by chococat
    http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/lovesig3.ht

    m



    From the Nonverbal Dictionary:



    I have experienced this. What on earth is going on when a

    man can maintain very intense eye contact like this? It's almost disturbing. Definitely confusing. No answer is

    given as to why this happens.
    From my little bit of knowledge on the subject (I have only read 2 books so

    far), I have learned that politicians are trained to do this. Why you may ask?
    Ask yourself this, when you think

    of a politician what do you want to vote for? Your answer is probably someone powerful who can get the job done for

    you at whatever level of government they are at.
    How did he make you feel when he stared you down? Submissive

    right.
    How does he do it without coming on too strong? He also throws in friendly, open-ness type signals like

    open palms so that although you feels he is above you, you also feels that he is approachable.
    There are a few guys

    on this forum who know more about this than me (Friendly comes to mind) who can better verify my statements and I

    hope they do because I would like to see how much I really have learned over the past couple weeks.

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    Marlboro: I definitely felt

    submissive! It's *very* effective at eliciting that kind of response. My head tilts automatically, as well.

    Maybe I wind up encouraging it more with this kind of behavior (I figured out early on that I am good at showing

    that kind of female submission.) That kind of long-term eye contact can nearly put you in a trance. I have to

    wonder what it does for the guy or what he is trying to do, if he is not *trained* to prolong eye contact.

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