Playing Partner

[Snoopy]

A few weekends ago I

spent some time at a friend's place just chilling. It was just me and her, but we spent 90% of the time playing

video games.. something she's very into. She was into it, and the only break we really got was going out to get

some take out fast food as a snack. It didn't seem like there was any opportunity to "progress" things further...

and I didn't want to risk rejection especially since I wasn't sure if she just considers me as her "video game

partner" or whatever. That's all we seem to do together anyway. I've had good responses with her while wearing

Chikara + TE, but that weekend we spent playing games together she didn't seem to have a very positive reaction to

it. I even tried sneaking in a massage but she was very defensive about it, so I laid off for the rest of the night.

She also went to the washroom 2-3 times, usually she never does - I'm saying this because maybe it was that time of

month.. and she was possibly having a reaction to the -none?

Anyhow, next weekend she'll be back, I haven't

seen her since that time (it's been about a month), and being really nerdy I guess, I figured that her "time of

month" would have passed last week assuming that 1) 28 day cycle, and 2) it actually was her time when I visited

last month.

I'm facing a problem here. I don't really know where I stand with her, I'd like to have things

progress, but that's going to be hard if she just gets focused on playing those games again. That's okay, I like

games too, but it doesn't really leave any time for the "relationship" to develop because we're both focused on

playing the game. Maybe all I am to her is a video game partner? We used to watch a lot of movies together in the

summer, and I had good reactions while wearing Chikara + TE. Lots of eye contact, touching, I could stroke her hair

and she wouldn't object... but then last month when I tried giving her a massage and she got all tense about it...

maybe I'm overreacting. Anyway I think I'm rambling now. I'd like some advice on how to deal with this coming

weekend with her.. and possibly a -mone combination that might work.

[Pancho1188]

You're a movie/video game

buddy, man...I don't know what else to tell you on that one...maybe ask her out to something more formal (like

going out to something) and see what happens? Unlike men, who may see 'come over and play video games' as sex (or

the not-looking-to-score-yet relationship equivalent), women see 'come over and play video games' as come over and

play video games...

I've been there. I had a female video game/movie buddy...no way I was getting anywhere with

her. She blatantly said she was too old for me (and I was a friend and a coworker and any other thing you could

think of) and that was it.

Like I/you said, you may have to progress things if you want her to change gears.

[Silver]

As of right now, she definitely

sees you as just a friend. Friends who may or may not flirt occasionally, but to some girls that's as natural as

breathing, really, and something we may or may not do with all of our platonic friends.

However, do not despair.

There are two possibilities here. One is that she has no idea that you're interested in her for more than

friendship. If this is the case, once you get the message across somehow, she'll be forced to think about whether

or not she feels the same. Often, this is something that just hasn't occured to a girl before. Men, I'm told,

meet a girl and immediately classify them as possible sexual partner or not. Women, however, are different. We

classify guys to some extent, but there have definitely been times when a guy I had never considered possible bf

material has suddenly become 10 times more appealing because I know that he's interested in me. Get a feel for how

she feels, maybe ask her out, but make it clear that you'd still like to be friends even if the answer is no. Then

let her think about it for a while, because chances are she's never thought of you that way before, and then go

from there when you have an answer.

Unfortunately, there is also the chance that she realizes you are intersted

in her, and that she likes having a buddy for movies and games and occasional cuddling, but doesn't want to take it

any further. This, too, has happened before. Oftentimes women, especially younger ones, will avoid confrontation,

wanting companionship but not wanting to outright reject a guy, so she will pretend that she doesn't know he's

interested.

Under either condition, there's a small possibility of ruining the friendship, but I feel like if

you handle it well, it's a very small possibility. She will probably not want to stop being friends with you, so

if you still would like to be friends if there is no chance of more, you can swing it.

Hope this

helps.
~Silver

[DeMoKiLL]

lol deleted my post due to

being a moron

[Snoopy]

That's some good advice Silver.


I think I've left something out of the equation: She used to like me back in highschool, but for a short while...

then it turned into a love-triangle between me, her, and my best-friend (who is no longer my best-friend anymore,

sad). Sparks flew before.. but that was a few years back. Timing was all messed up... after that triangle incident,

I got rejected when I tried asking her out again. So both of us have been through that "let's just be friends

process". She once told someone that she'd happily go out with me... if she got that "feeling" from me. I just want

to know if it's possible to go from movies/games... to that "feeling", or maybe some advice on how. The friendship

won't be ruined, I'm pretty sure, since we've been through a lot before (or maybe I have) and we're still really

good friends as of today.

This isn't really one-itis, I've seen other girls between the time that's passed. I

think my mind-frame has gone from "liking her" (only her) in highschool, to now being "attracted to her" (will go

out with her.. but will go out with anyone else I'm attracted to as well) right now.

[DeMoKiLL]

idk maybe I dunno what im

talking about but just be funny, make her feel different around you then she feels with other people. If you guys

are just playing video games or whatever I would say try to spice it up by doing something exciting. I dunno what im

talking about but you know anything is worth a try.

[Snoopy]

Funny.. oh believe me, I can put

her out from laughing alone. I've heard hit stories of people wearing -mones around their LJBF girl friends for a

prolonged period of time, and have the entire situation turn around. I get the feeling that might happen in this

case, but I don't like leaving things like that up to chance, and I don't really want to rely on the -mones THAT

much... even though they have been making a big difference in my life already. I mean, that's why I'm posting this

here, and not in some relationship/seduction forum.. right?

[DeMoKiLL]

go ahead then, slap on those

mones

[DeMoKiLL]

Funny.. oh

believe me, I can put her out from laughing alone. I've heard hit stories of people wearing -mones around their

LJBF girl friends for a prolonged period of time, and have the entire situation turn around. I get the feeling that

might happen in this case, but I don't like leaving things like that up to chance, and I don't really want to rely

on the -mones THAT much... even though they have been making a big difference in my life already. I mean, that's

why I'm posting this here, and not in some relationship/seduction forum.. right?

If you want her and are

willing to risk it a little, then go ahead. Whats the worse that could happen anyways? btw, ill try your idea with

another girl that put me into the LJBF status. I've been using cocky and funny and its bumping me up little by

little but im still going to need a lot more to get where I need to be. Well, hope it works out with you two.

[Silver]

That's some good

advice Silver.
I think I've left something out of the equation: She used to like me back in highschool, but for a

short while... then it turned into a love-triangle between me, her, and my best-friend (who is no longer my

best-friend anymore, sad). Sparks flew before.. but that was a few years back. Timing was all messed up... after

that triangle incident, I got rejected when I tried asking her out again. So both of us have been through that

"let's just be friends process". She once told someone that she'd happily go out with me... if she got that

"feeling" from me. I just want to know if it's possible to go from movies/games... to that "feeling", or maybe some

advice on how. The friendship won't be ruined, I'm pretty sure, since we've been through a lot before (or maybe I

have) and we're still really good friends as of today.

This isn't really one-itis, I've seen other girls

between the time that's passed. I think my mind-frame has gone from "liking her" (only her) in highschool, to now

being "attracted to her" (will go out with her.. but will go out with anyone else I'm attracted to as well) right

now.

Ahh, then the situation is slightly different. So you know that she's attracted to you, and that at

one point she wanted a relationship with you. However, she's not just completely infatuated with you, since she

did reject you once when the timing wasn't right. So the situation is clearly workable, but requires...finesse.



My suggestion is to use the mones that have been working for you so far, continue flirting, and slowly coax her

into better and better moods. And when you two are really having an 'on' day, when you feel like the mones are

really working for you, when everything seems to be going swimmingly, hit that. Go for it. Turn the playfulness

into a casual invitation for coffee...something away from the video game console and stereotypically romantic. I

think if you get the timing to be in your favor, set the stage, and play your cards right, this could very well be

the beginning of a lastng relationships. After all, the best relationships start with a basis of friendship.



Best of luck.
~Silver

[Snoopy]

I think I'm confining my

thinking to what happens during THAT specific weekend coming up... I'm not thinking about the long-run

possibilities, and maybe I'm even thinking too much! Thanks for helping me realise that! I think for now I'll just

go with the flow, but make sure I'm killin' her instincts with the stuff I've been using

[Pherozen]

Good thinking, I think that your

chances with this a grrrrrreeeat. You already dated her once and she once "saw something in you". Now you just

need to get her to open her eyes again. Rekindling relationships seem to happen naturally. Good luck.

[Snoopy]

I was thinking today, maybe when

we're playing or something and I get her to crack up (which I always do), I can grab her hand and look her in the

eye and say, "Let's never stop being friends" or something like that... thoughts?

[Rover The Dog]

Bad idea. I dont know much

about attraction and there are alot better advisors in these situations but i got the impression that you wanted to

stop being friends. and become something more. by asserting lets never stop being friends she may end up valuing

your friendship more but thats not what youre after. if anything i think it just further digs you in the friendship

catagory.

[Snoopy]

That's not what the intent is...

Looking straight into her eyes, while holding her hand, after making her feel really good about herself (from

laughing), she'll be thinking "what if we were more than just friends?". I mean, if a guy and a girl are just

"friends", they wouldn't hold hands.. would they?

[Pherozen]

Wow, that seems like the most

creepy idea I've ever heard. I think that's a good way to scare someone away.

[Snoopy]

Haha.. really, why do you say

that Pyke?

[Pherozen]

Sounds ultra needy. I don't know

it just creeps me out thinking about it, maybe I'm just seeing the situation different, but picturing it, I see

crash and burn. Maybe look her in the eye and say something like stop fooling yourself and give her a kiss or

something. If she definitely isn't interested of course this would be a big crash and burn also. But it's your

situation, and only you can do the risk assessment.

[Snoopy]

Well I haven't made it totally

obvious that I'm interested in her still, from the last time I asked her out, I kinda gave off the impression that

I've moved on. I guess I'm trying to find a shortcut or something... I really don't know.

[Watcher]

Snoopy and others - if you want

pheromones to work with a specific individual in mind 80% of the time it wont.

My approach is to expose

myself with the pheromones to as many social contacts as possible get out there in the world the more contact you

have - evne more friends with pheormones on a regular basis

The more chance you have of scoring - its the

watcher scatter approach to social and sexual intereaction. Works a treat. If it doesnt work on her keep her as

youre video / movie buddy - perhaps she has some friends that might react or perhaps you should expand youre social

circle a bit.

[Silver]

I was thinking

today, maybe when we're playing or something and I get her to crack up (which I always do), I can grab her hand and

look her in the eye and say, "Let's never stop being friends" or something like that... thoughts?

VERY

BAD IDEA.

For once, the men are right.

There are a couple of different results to this statement on your

part...and none of them are good. Most likely, she will assume that by this statement you mean you only want to be

friends, and nothing more. That was the first thought that occured to me, and definitely the most likely. There is

also the possibility that she will be so touched that she will take this statement to heart that way, IE she will

want to only be friends, and not risk such a sweet and devoted friend like you.

The only other scenario I see is

this not having much of an affect at all. However, I really feel like the first two are more likely. So basically,

saying this probably will harm you and can't really help, so don't.

~Silver

[Snoopy]

Guess I wasn't thinking too

properly then.

[bjf]

Snoopy, you wouldn't stop going on

about this girl a few months ago. Grow some balls already!

[Mtnjim]

VERY BAD IDEA.



For once, the men are right.


~Silver

For once?? Harrumph and pshaw!!

[tounge]

For once??

Harrumph and pshaw!!

I think Sliver is confusing the men with the boys

around here.

[bjf]

well, I am sure the birth control

statement didn't give her the best impresson!

[Rover The Dog]

Heres my advice, i think

that you should invite her to come over to play some video games. When she gets there ask her if shes hungrey and

explain to her that you havent eaten all day and that you need to get something to eat before you start. Go to some

restraunt (nothing formal but not fast food either) And while there have a casual comfortable conversation flavored

with a touch of sexual tension (for some reason i typed attention when i first sent it). If she responds in any

manner as long as its not blatantly negative then that is your clue. And at the end when youre picking up the check

just say "baby, weve been hiding our feelings for too long now. I know you cant stop thinking about me and honey, i

cant stop thinking about you. so lets cut the bullshit, come back with me to my place, and ill show you more

entertainment than any video game can." sure it might not work. but hey it could and if not you at least you know

how she feels. and honestly i think its better then being in the same situation you were in five months ago.

[Rover The Dog]

my bad i did not mean the

word sexual attention... i meant sexual tension... like just say some comments that could be considered sexual and

see how she responds... i did not mean to like make a move on her by putting your hand in places it shouldnt go

[Snoopy]

I have a very big coupon off a

very nice casual restaurant close to my house, 5 minutes drive... I've been waiting to use it for quite a while

now.

[Silver]

*giggles*
I try

Oh and

Snoopy? If you do decide to take Rover's advice, might I add one suggestion?

Never, ever, EVER use the phrase

"let's cut the bullshit" when wooing a girl. In fact, just never use it period, hmm?

~Silver