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  1. #31
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Forget about her, just move onto the

    next

  2. #32
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Silver,

    Good advice.



    Pancho,

    No hostility intended. Sorry about the way it came across. I didn't read your first comment the way

    you intended it and that's probably my own fault as well. While I am monitoring the forum and commenting here and

    there I am in the middle of reconfiguring my network to take advantage of VOIP. My time on the forum has been split

    between downing and configuring servers and routers. As a result I am not paying as much attention as I should.



    That said, years ago I did something similar while on a business trip. The exact details aren't important. When I

    got home I went to visit a friend, a semi-retired priest, thinking to spill my guts and assauge my own guilt. His

    answer to me went something like this "Regardless of what she did, you violated the sanctity of their marraige. Yes,

    she may have done the same with somebody else had you not been there. That doesn't change the basic facts of your

    actions. You and you alone are responsible for those. You and she share the guilt equally." I am not condeming

    Gegogi, we are all human. His actions are still his responsibility. He's not scum, he simply made a human mistake

    or what I consider a mistake. Others would probably disagree with me but that's their business, not mine.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  3. #33
    Full Member culturalblonde's Avatar
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    Red face

    I think Gegogi should

    personally give the husband an apology. In person, no phone call and no notes/letters. That way, maybe he will get

    a good butt beating and think twice next time he decides to mess with another man's woman.

    Gegogi how could

    you fall in love? I think this girl was using you, either for a better grade or to end some boredom at home or for

    money. She never had the same feelings that you had/wanted so now you want to portray her as a wild woman

    (typical). I think she got bored with you and made up a story about telling her husband to end the relationship

    with you.

    MobleyC57:
    In your situations 1) you were young and, 2) I'm assuming you did not know

    the woman (notice I didn't write lady) was married. After all, this is a 50 year old (supposedly professional)

    man, who should have known better.

    Belgareth:
    You are very wise, and I admire your way of thinking.

  4. #34
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    Anyone else want to get something off

    their chest?

  5. #35
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    Lol, bjf that reminded me of one

    of the tshirts I saw on campus on national coming out day.

    "Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you...
    ...I

    don't want to be premed"


  6. #36
    Full Member culturalblonde's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by bjf
    Anyone else

    want to get something off their chest?

  7. #37
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    "Gegogi how could you fall

    in love? I think this girl was using you, either for a better grade or to end some boredom at home or for money. She

    never had the same feelings that you had/wanted so now you want to portray her as a wild woman (typical). I think

    she got bored with you and made up a story about telling her husband to end the relationship with you."

    She's smart and an A student. Plus she has more money than me (that's a long story). She needs sex 3 or 4 times a

    day so not many men will tickle her pickle for long. As for being wild, she was my greatest sexual fantasies come

    true, so that's wild enough for me. Unfortunately, I know what I've beed missing all these years. I didn't

    consider she may have lied about telling her husband to get rid of me... Sheesh, now I have to apologize to him in

    order to know the truth.
    As far as falling in love, I've always been a sucker for love and a pretty

    face. Maybe it's male menopause but the old emotions are really easy to set off these days.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by culturalblonde
    MobleyC57:
    In your situations 1) you were young and, 2) I'm assuming you did not know the

    woman (notice I didn't write lady) was married. After all, this is a 50 year old (supposedly professional) man, who

    should have known better.
    Tis true, I was young, but I typed all that forgetting to type that the

    experience taught me that friends are more valuable than that out-of- body orgasm, and DEFINITELY NOT worth it!



    Yes, I knew she was married, and didn't care about feasting on someone else's property at the time, I

    no longer entertain the thought of pleasuring married women, 'cause two or three things are going to happen ... (1)

    What G got ... she tells, (2) You're pleasuring someone that fooling around is normal practice, and that to me,

    would not do anything for my ego. In my 20's is was about numbers, now, tis about pride, and I couldn't be proud

    of being with someone that's been/trying to get with everyone in her zip code! (3) You get hurt or killed. I don't

    think there's nothing fun about watching your back on a daily basis!

    Even I, owner of one, find it

    amazing how one's way of thinking/morals leaves them once that noodle is engorged with blood. I have a

    firm grip on the sit-chation when it tries to lead, and I make the decisions no matter how hard it may get, but ....

    everyone can't do that!

    And G, the lie part makes sense. Excuse me for saying, but you know a woman

    is not really going to give up the money if given a choice. If she did get tired or bored with you, don't

    take it personally, it happens in most relationships, and it's not you, it really is her (her way of doing

    things).
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  9. #39
    Man of La Pancha
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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    Silver,



    Good advice.

    Pancho,

    No hostility intended. Sorry about the way it came across. I didn't read your first

    comment the way you intended it and that's probably my own fault as well. While I am monitoring the forum and

    commenting here and there I am in the middle of reconfiguring my network to take advantage of VOIP. My time on the

    forum has been split between downing and configuring servers and routers. As a result I am not paying as much

    attention as I should.

    That said, years ago I did something similar while on a business trip. The exact details

    aren't important. When I got home I went to visit a friend, a semi-retired priest, thinking to spill my guts and

    assauge my own guilt. His answer to me went something like this "Regardless of what she did, you violated the

    sanctity of their marraige. Yes, she may have done the same with somebody else had you not been there. That doesn't

    change the basic facts of your actions. You and you alone are responsible for those. You and she share the guilt

    equally." I am not condeming Gegogi, we are all human. His actions are still his responsibility. He's not scum, he

    simply made a human mistake or what I consider a mistake. Others would probably disagree with me but that's their

    business, not mine.
    I agree with you completely...I guess it's just how I interpret the words "blame" and

    "fault" for being unfaithful because the only one with a responsibility to uphold marriage vows are the ones in the

    marriage. It would be nice if others would respect them, and according to the church it is everyone's

    responsibility to respect them. I would agree that it's morally right to respect it, but I do not think it's the

    other person's "fault" that the husband/wife cheated. Does this make sense?

    As Silver said, none of that

    really matters, but I like to be technical when people bring up the subject of who's to 'blame' for infidelity.




    The reason why I was so reluctant to start saying how wrong it is...is because I've been on that end of

    infidelity...I was a teenager, so that might tell you something about my stupidity...but I've been in the position

    and have not done it again and never expect to in the future (as if anyone ever does ). As the hypocrite I

    occasionally find myself to be when it comes to applying who's responsible (always giving others the benefit while

    blaming myself in the same situation), I completely blame myself in that situation because if it wasn't for me, it

    wouldn't have happened. I know this like I know the grass is green. I was wrong, and I am a bad person for what I

    did. I'll have to live with that. Fortunately, my sex drive, loneliness, youth, opportunity, etc. will never be

    that strong again to do something so dumb. As much as I want to take it back, I never would because I learned from

    it and I think I'm a better person now than I would've been otherwise (however dumb that may sound). Like I said,

    I came across a similar situation later. Older, more mature, I did the smart thing and I kept my space. Sure, it

    was a weak bf/gf relationship and not a marriage, but I learned the first time. She ended up breaking up with her

    boyfriend and going out with me a few months later (after another bf...). I'm proud of that as much as I'm

    ashamed of my earlier stupidity.

    There, bjf, happy now?

  10. #40
    Man of La Pancha
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    Quote Originally Posted by culturalblonde
    Gegogi

    how could you fall in love?
    Love isn't logical...I wish it was because then I would get over the little

    crush I have now...or maybe I have the crush because it makes so much logical sense to me that I should be with this

    person...

    Love and rationality don't go together...I wish they did because then everyone would want to

    go out with me because I'm such a sweet guy... ...ironically stated directly after my last posting...


  11. #41
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pancho1188

    There,

    bjf, happy now?
    Pancho, I know more about your life than I do mine

  12. #42
    Full Member culturalblonde's Avatar
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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by Gegogi
    Sheesh, now

    I have to apologize to him in order to know the truth.
    I was being sarcastic; please don’t talk to

    that man. You don’t know what kind of harm you might cause him. He may be mentally unstable and go berserk on you,

    her or himself. Seriously, just ignore the girl at all costs. Eventually, her trifling ways will catch up with

    her.

  13. #43
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    Yeah, I knew you were. My guts

    are still twisting from the whole ordeal (I think I added afew more white hairs too) but I'm not ready to dive in

    front of moving cars or taunt suddenly enraged husbands.

    I guess I should wear SOE or Chikara to class

    instead of TE. Incidentally, thanks folks for your comments, chastisements and support. Just writing about it made

    me feel a little better. Plus I gained a fresh perspective on certain aspects. This ordeal isn't something I can

    talk to colleagues or friends about, and holding it all in ain't that great.
    Last edited by Gegogi; 11-15-2004 at 12:43 AM.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  14. #44
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    "I think she got bored

    with you and made up a story about telling her husband to end the relationship with you."
    Well

    culturalblonde, I think you nailed it. She AIMed me tonight. After she yelled at me for being a dirtbag, I told her

    I wanted to apologize to her husband. She said sure, he's right here, send him an IM. I said no, I want to do it in

    person. She said to let it go as he forgave me already and is fine with everything. He trusts her to do the right

    thing. Anyway, I deserved it for being such a dip.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  15. #45
    Phero Enthusiast platinumfox's Avatar
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    Geogogi, I know what you are

    going through I messed around with my neighbors wife for a while.Her husband and I were good friends and would have

    me over for dinner alot.While eating dinner she would flirt with me by playing footsies with me under the table.This

    happened alot and I gave into her advances and we got together and messed around.They had a daughter at the time now

    the have a son.She started feeling guilty after a year and a half and told her husband I CAME ON TO HER?She was

    trying to cover her guilty ass and of course hes going to believe her over and did.The guilt never goes away but it

    does die down over time.You are better off without this devious woman if she cheats on her man than she would have

    cheated on you.

  16. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pancho1188
    Yes, it

    takes two to tango. That makes them both wrong, immoral, scum of the earth, whatever you want to call it. As for

    who's to blame for being unfaithful, it lies solely on the one who made the vow to be faithful in the first place.

    That other man is not responsible for her marriage...although it would be nice if he was considerate enough to

    respect that everlasting bond...
    I'm sorry, but tha's it right there. Both are wrong, but as far as the

    relationship is concerned, it can only be the fault of the person IN the relationship. Nothing against Bel or CB but

    I think that says it all right there. (I have my morals and G is not innocent, when I consider that, but again

    Pancho said it.)

  17. #47
    Phero Enthusiast platinumfox's Avatar
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    I dont think you were in love

    Geogogi it was lust.I thought I was in love too but looking back it was lust.The rush of sex,getting caught,etc.

    makes you feel so GREAT and you think your are in love.

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