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  1. #1
    Man of La Pancha
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    Default The 2004 Election

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Wow, this is

    exciting, isn't it?

  2. #2
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    I did some numbers crunching using

    the data on the front page of usatoday.com Maybe I am wrong, but it looks like kerry will have to win forida AND

    ohio to win. Right now with 94 percent of the precincts reporting, bush has a little lead going. maybe absentee

    ballots will come into affect.

  3. #3
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Kerry actually got

    California's Vote!! whoa that one took my surprised! ( he still has a chance..)
    But we still ahead of the

    game...Bush got AZ.
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  4. #4
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    Assuming ohio goes to kerry, florida

    to bush, and the current leads stay the same, it will be a tie, 269 a piece.

  5. #5
    Man of La Pancha
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    Kerry just conceded the

    election to Bush!

  6. #6
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    What election?
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  7. #7
    Man of La Pancha
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    Ha, ha. I think they just

    replayed the 2000 election, switched the toss-up state to make it look different, and gave Bush the popular vote so

    it wouldn't be so controversial to contest and realize that they just posted the 2000 results give or take.



    (I'm not a conspiracy theorist...I swear! )

  8. #8
    Man of La Pancha
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    Adam Felber concedes the

    election! Great speech!







    I concede that I overestimated the intelligence of the American people.
    Though the people disagree with the

    President on almost every issue, you
    saw fit to vote for him. I never saw that coming. That's really special.


    And I mean "special" in the sense that we use it to describe those kids
    who ride the short school bus and

    find ways to injure themselves while
    eating pudding with rubber spoons. That kind of special.



    I concede that I misjudged the

    power of hate. That's pretty powerful
    stuff, and I didn't see it. So let me take a moment to congratulate

    the
    President's strategists: Putting the gay marriage amendments on the
    ballot in various swing

    states like Ohio... well, that was just genius.
    Genius. It got people, a certain kind of people, to the polls.

    The
    unprecedented number of folks who showed up and cited "moral values" as
    their biggest issue,

    those people changed history. The folks who
    consider same sex marriage a more important issue than war,

    or
    terrorism, or the economy... Who'd have thought the election would
    belong to them?

    Well, Karl Rove did. Gotta give it up to him for that.
    [Boos.] Now, now. Credit where it's due.



    I concede that

    I put too much faith in America's youth. With 8 out of 10
    of you opposing the President, with your friends and

    classmates dying
    daily in a war you disapprove of, with your future being mortgaged to
    pay for rich

    old peoples' tax breaks, you somehow managed to sit on your
    asses and watch the Cartoon Network while aging

    homophobic hillbillies
    carried the day. You voted with the exact same anemic percentage that
    you did

    in 2000. You suck. Seriously, y'do. [Cheers, applause] Thank
    you. Thank you very much.



    There

    are some who would say that I sound bitter, that now is the time
    for healing, to bring the nation together.

    Let me tell you a little
    story. Last night, I watched the returns come in with some friends here
    in

    Los Angeles. As the night progressed, people began to talk
    half-seriously about secession, a red

    state / blue state split. The
    reasoning was this: We in blue states produce the vast majority of the


    wealth in this country and pay the most taxes, and you in the red states
    receive the majority of the money

    from those taxes while complaining
    about 'em. We in the blue states are the only ones who've been

    attacked
    by foreign terrorists, yet you in the red states are gung ho to fight a
    war in our name. We in

    the blue states produce the entertainment that
    you consume so greedily each day, while you in the red states

    show open
    disdain for us and our values. Blue state civilians are the actual
    victims and targets of

    the war on terror, while red state civilians are
    the ones standing behind us and yelling "Oh, yeah!? Bring it

    on!"

    More than 40% of you

    Bush voters still believe that Saddam Hussein had
    something to do with 9/11. I'm impressed by that, truly I

    am. Your sons
    and daughters who might die in this war know it's not true, the people
    in the urban

    centers where al Qaeda wants to attack know it's not true,
    but those of you who are at practically no risk

    believe this easy lie
    because you can. As part of my concession speech, let me say that I
    really

    envy that luxury. I concede that.



    Healing? We, the people at risk from terrorists, the people who


    subsidize you, the people who speak in glowing and respectful terms
    about the heartland of America while

    that heartland insults and
    excoriates us... we wanted some healing. We spoke loud and clear. And


    you refused to give it to us, largely because of your high moral values.
    You knew better: America doesn't

    need its allies, doesn't need to share
    the burden, doesn't need to unite the world, doesn't need to provide

    for
    its future. Hell no. Not when it's got a human shield of pointy-headed,
    atheistic, unconfrontational

    breadwinners who are willing to pay the
    bills and play nice in the vain hope of winning a vote that we can

    never
    have. Because we're "morally inferior," I suppose, we are supposed to
    respect your values while

    you insult ours. And the big joke here is that
    for 20 years, we've done just that.



    It's not a "ha-ha"

    funny joke, I realize, but it's a joke all the same.
    Being an independent candidate gives me one luxury - as

    well as
    conceding the election today, I am also announcing my candidacy for
    President in

    2008. [Wild applause, screams, chants of "Fel-ber!
    Fel-ber!] Thank you.



    And I make

    this pledge to you today: THIS time, next time, there will be
    no pandering. This time I will run with all the

    open and joking contempt
    for my opponents that our President demonstrated towards the cradle of
    liberty,

    the Ivy League intellectuals, the "media elite," and the
    "white-wine sippers." This time I will not

    pretend that the simple folk
    of America know just as much as the people who devote their lives to


    serving and studying the nation and the world. They don't.



    So that's why I'm asking for your vote in 2008, America. I'm talking to


    you, you ignorant, slack-jawed yokels, you bible-
    thumping, inbred drones, you

    redneck, racist, chest-thumping,
    perennially duped grade-school grads. Vote for me, because I know


    better, and I truly believe that I can help your smug, sorry asses. Vote
    Felber in '08! Thank you,

    and may God, if he does in fact exist, bless
    each and every one of you.

  9. #9
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    That was a funny speech.

    He'll regret having made it if he wants to ever run for anything or pass through the South, but it is witty.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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