Standard steps to dating

[CollegeStudent]

Did a

search on here and google and couldnt find anything like this. Im trying to find a guide of standards for typical

dating. What I mean is, what is expected on first dates? Dinner dates? Second dates? When to continue?

I

understand that someone has to look for "roadsigns" to figure out when they should move forward, but Im just curious

if there is a regular guide to the rate that this goes?

Like for instance: First date, expected to hold her

hand while walking, open doors, pull out her chair, etc. Second date: in addition to first date stuff... so and

so

I know that this differs from person to person but there has got to be a norm somewhere that alot of

people fall into. Anyone seen anything like this? Or maybe can post one?

[Yoel]

There's a booklet called "Critical

Moments & Bridges" that comes with DeAngelo's DYD, which is all about that topic. I obviously can't post it here

but, hey, I gave you directions

Yoel

[Gegogi]

Sheesh, go with the flow and

improvise as the moment unfolds. That doesn't mean you can't have a plan for the date but basic manners (opening

doors, being on time, etc.) should be a given (except for true feminists, let them open the door). If you get all

stiff and formulaic it can be a big turnoff for the woman. They want you to listen to the ryhthm of their heart and

respond appropriately. Trust me, if she wants her hand held, you'll know.

[bjf]

There's a lot of stuff here.

Basically, for some people, reading signs is intuitive, others it is not. So you can read up on stuff in here,

click on dating and flirting. The link has been posted on here quite a while ago, but I'm going to put it on the

newbies click here because I couldn't dig it up when I looked for it on the forum.



http://digilander.libero.it/linguaggiodelcorpo/biblio/

[phinmone]

well there has been many threads

on this topic. about dating and handling women. but they just scratch the very surface... i would lean to yoel's

comment. yes, DYD is very helpful. just attach the whole DYD mentality to your soul and you will go far

Dinner dates?

are you paying? if yes, goodbye to your money! never buy her a

dinner in the first dates, never! trust me on this, it's not good and it does not get you further. do NOT try to

impress her that you can pay the dinner.

what is expected on first dates

make her

laugh and do not be unpredictable. read her and ask her questions. do not tell so much about yourself, just ask her

questions. women LOVE to talk about themselves. echo her, make her laugh, tease a little, and END the date early =

YES. she will be missing you more after this. never be needy! do not try to hang on to her like little puppy, be the

alpha male and tell her what to do.

+ something like this.

phinmone

[TRock]

well there has

been many threads on this topic. about dating and handling women. but they just scratch the very surface... i would

lean to yoel's comment. yes, DYD is very helpful. just attach the whole DYD mentality to your soul and you will go

far



are you paying? if yes, goodbye to your money! never buy her a dinner in the first dates, never!

trust me on this, it's not good and it does not get you further. do NOT try to impress her that you can pay the

dinner.



make her laugh and do not be unpredictable. read her and ask her questions. do not tell so much

about yourself, just ask her questions. women LOVE to talk about themselves. echo her, make her laugh, tease a

little, and END the date early = YES. she will be missing you more after this. never be needy! do not try to hang on

to her like little puppy, be the alpha male and tell her what to do.

+ something like this.

phinmone

like phinmone said. you have to kill your old social programming and all the conditioning that society has done

to you.

never spend money on women you don't know well. if you wouldn't buy your best friend dinner would you

buy a female you don't know well dinner?

[Pancho1188]

women LOVE to

talk about themselves.

Everyone loves to talk about themselves. People have an inherent need to feel

important. If you can fulfill that need in anyone, you have just developed rapport.

[phinmone]

what i like to add

more:

First date, expected to hold her hand while walking, open doors, pull out her

chair

do not act like a wussy and think "oh, should i hold her hand". try to get the situation more

loose by for example taking her hand and say "no handsholding this early!" and let go. this makes the situation

funny and you are in a funny way accusing her for taking your hand in her hand.

learn the cocky + funny

attitute and tease her. always open doors, women really appreciate this. what i do, i open the door and say "ladies

first" with a serious face then smile.

but one of the important things on dates (usually the first ones) in

order to make her feel more attraction (but you have to know that she likes you - and these sings you can read in

the first time you meet her, easy) is to end the date by the time when you are having fun (or just short after that)

and feeling great.

yeah-.

[Pancho1188]

try to get the

situation more loose by for example taking her hand and say "no handsholding this early!" and let go. this makes the

situation funny and you are in a funny way accusing her for taking your hand in her hand.

This has been

recommended on the forum before:

http://pherolibrary.com/forum/s

howthread.php?t=11137&highlight=hand+holding+early

Is there something I'm missing? If I were a girl, I'd

give you the most puzzled look and think you were psychotic. I know this one person who would do the same, and I

even have the look in my mind on how she would stare at me if I did that.

I get the recommendation of joking

about the stupid 'process' of relationships (I like talking about it because it's so dumb to just be all awkward

and ignore it), but exclaiming, "No hand-holding this early!" after taking her hand makes it look like you're

schizophrenic or multiple-personality or something.

Am I wrong? Somebody tell me I'm not

schizophrenic...

[TRock]

telling her you don't want to

hold her hand turns you into the prize and brings her into the frame that she wants you.

[Gegogi]

You'll need to be convincing in

your new role to be successful, so enrolling in an acting class would be a good idea.

[Yoel]

@Pancho:
You're psycho! Psycho

I tell you! Somebody pin him down!

The thing is, it was phinmone that time too
I think he's coming

from a misinterpretation (exaggeration?) of one of DeAngelo's teases. It actually should go like this: you stretch

out your hand casually like you are offering it to her but looking elsewhere, then when she grabs it you act

surprised and deliver the remark, that way it's funny

Yoel

[bjf]

I thought it was pretty funny

myself.

[Yoel]

The grab-bitch move? Well, maybe

it's funny to see it, but outright weird. As in, you don't want to give the girl the impression that you're a

crackhead now, do you?
What you want to do instead is "telling" her she's the one making moves on you. Because as

soon as she feels being rejected (even if she isn't making any move at all!) she'll come back to win you. And

that's about the point of this, not the wackiness.

Yoel

[Mtnjim]

[QUOTE=Pancho1188Am I wrong?

Somebody tell me I'm not schizophrenic... [/QUOTE]

Panch, of course you're not

schizophrenic, so calm down and go with these nice men in the white coats!

[HK45Mark23]

[QUOTE=Mtnjim][QUOTE=Pancho1188Am I wrong? Somebody tell me I'm not schizophrenic... Panch, of

course you're not schizophrenic, so calm down and go with these nice men in the white coats! [/QUOTE]


Pancho everything is ok. Come along now. We have a nice shot for you. It will make you feel relaxed

and very good. Well lookie here at this nice white jacket that ties in the back, it will keep you nice and cozy wile

you sleep in your special room we prepared just for you. Come along now. We are here to help you.

[phinmone]

The thing is,

it was phinmone that time too
I think he's coming from a misinterpretation (exaggeration?) of one of

DeAngelo's teases. It actually should go like this: you stretch out your hand casually like you are offering it to

her but looking elsewhere, then when she grabs it you act surprised and deliver the remark, that way it's funny



Yoel

Yes, it was me back then TOO. well it is meant as an exaggeration. and it should

be meant as a joke too and not taken so seriously (so panchos reaction of being super serious about this is wrong

). when i meet a girl, i joke about her tease and they do not misinterpret this action = they do not look confused,

they smile or laugh. i am convincing, have been doing some acting on stage, i know what i am doing!

but

yoel's interpretation could work for some persons too, but it would not be something for me.

the problem i

had before summer 2004 was that i was too serious. but after learning the right tactics and having C+F attitude in

my soul, working wonders on me!

[Yoel]

Phin,
we are talking about

different styles here I guess...
I bet you've seen the DYD dvd seminar, I sense some Mark (or whatever was the

dorky guy called). I mean, not that his approach is bad in any way (since he had amazing success and all, being the

first guest there proved it), but if you are not REALLY good at it you came off as the jester (funny but not cocky),

and as trying hard to get her attention.

Actually, maybe I'm exaggerating it too. Now that I think of it, if

you teased the girl about trying to pick you up before (and I bet you did ) that could work as well, as a

recurring tease. My suggestion comes handy if you haven't already had the opportunity of busting her balls on her

forwardness

Yoel

[Pancho1188]

@Pancho:
You're

psycho! Psycho I tell you! Somebody pin him down!

The thing is, it was phinmone that time too
I think he's

coming from a misinterpretation (exaggeration?) of one of DeAngelo's teases. It actually should go like this: you

stretch out your hand casually like you are offering it to her but looking elsewhere, then when she grabs it you act

surprised and deliver the remark, that way it's funny

Yoel

Thanks, Yoel. That makes sense (to

play on my schizo joke, that way you're talking to her and it doesn't look like you're talking to yourself).



I think the misunderstanding is my interpretation of such an act as described by phinmone:

"*Reaches for hand*

No! It's too early for hand-holding!"

"Must have chocolate...*Reaches for chocolate*...No! No

chocolate for you! You're on a diet!"

I'm imagining the tone of voice like George Costanza saying, "These

pretzels...are making me thirsty!"


Since no one else thinks this is a dangerous move, I'll

assume that the girls I've gone out with are either sensitive and would be offended by such a remark or are laid

back and would question such an emotional outburst, humorous or otherwise.

[Yoel]

"*Reaches for

hand* No! It's too early for hand-holding!"

Omg Pancho, I didn't even get you were thinking of

that, that's freaking hilarious!


Yoel

[Pancho1188]

and it should

be meant as a joke too and not taken so seriously (so panchos reaction of being super serious about this is wrong

).

I'm sure women love it when you tell them they're wrong.

-No, it's too early for

hand-holding!
--*Blank stare/questioning look* Uhhh...okay...
-You're supposed to laugh! It's a joke! You take

things too seriously.
--Uhhh...okay...

The above conversation is what would happened to me if I said that to

someone.

[Watcher]

90% of first dates go nowhere

thats a fact - women are specific with taking things further treat each new date as a learning experience use it for

confidence of course have some pheromones on it enhances youre presence. just go with the flow if it doesnt work

out there are of course other women out there.

If youe overweight lose the weight women want guys that have

nice looking bodies.

[Yoel]

-No, it's too

early for hand-holding!
--*Blank stare/questioning look* Uhhh...okay...
-You're supposed to laugh! It's a

joke! You take things too seriously.
--Uhhh...okay...

And then you headbutt her impromptu and run

away.

Yoel

[Pancho1188]

Omg Pancho, I

didn't even get you were thinking of that, that's freaking hilarious!


Yoel

See? Wouldn't

that make you look like a psycho? That's why I say it's dangerous. That's also why your alternative made sense

because you were definitely talking to her instead of maybe looking like you're talking to yourself because you're

the one who reached for her hand.

Remember, it's how they take it that determines their reaction. Like I said,

maybe I've just gone out with people who would take it wrong or maybe Phinmone is just really good at it. If it

works for him, you, and everyone else, I'm happy for you. I'm just giving you my horror story of the confused

look after a joke.

I'm still scarred after this one time where I blatantly gave a sarcastic comment

about how I was my friend was going to 'get a lot of action' on the bed I was putting together (I was laughing and

gave a sarcastic smile and everything) only to get an "Uhhh..." answer that made me reply that it was a joke only to

get an "Okay..." kind of response. Speaking of which, I found it hilarious because we were screwing in her bed

(literally screwing in her bed...you know, twisting the screws in her bedframe while putting it together). Man,

those were good times. Screwing in a girl's bed...how can you not find that funny?

*sigh* Maybe it

is just me...

Nah...

[Watcher]

with the phreomones you gotta

remember it enhances reactions both ways - you need some anol and arone to give her the friendly chatting dependable

impression moreso and some Anone to trigger a hopefully sexual response.

But the mones are just another tool

that helps with interactions with others but it isnt the end all and be all but it does help subtely - its just

another tool in my sexual attraction arsenal

Some will see big improvements for others very minor.

[Yoel]

@Pancho:

Phin's way is an

all-night show, you can't just be plain normal and then play the hand joke out of the blue, that would make Brad

Pitt look like a freak.

Yoel

[Pancho1188]

You're talking to Jerry

Seinfeld, here...


Speaking of Seinfeld and dating...

The basic problem with the beginning of the

relationship, I think, is that each person has their own sexual time-table of what should happen when, that the

other person knows nothing about. That's why I really think we need some sort of sexual rulebook, where it's

written down and agreed upon - sexual, standard, dating procedure. Know what I mean? So if there's any problems,

you can go, "Look, honey, I'm very sorry, but we've been out three times, and according to Article 7, Section 5,

there's got to be some physical contact, as you can see." "Otherwise, I will report you to the board, and they can

put out a warrant for an embrace."

[Yoel]

If you're funny, how can the girls

you go out with be dull?

As experience tells impulse kicks morality in the head, so if you play your

cards well, things should go a lot smoother. (the booklet I plugged in my first post helps a lot)
Besides, a

man's sexual time-table reads more or less like this: now

Yoel

[phinmone]

@Pancho:



Phin's way is an all-night show, you can't just be plain normal and then play the hand joke out of the blue, that

would make Brad Pitt look like a freak.

Yoel

yes, this is soooo correct! if i had done

this hand-joke like 6 months ago, the girls would have thought "what a psycho". but you really have to have an

outgoing, relaxed, C+F attitude to do this. this works for me. and other c+f stuff. it's so funny and relaxing. but

you don't know have this style, i really do NOT recommend to do this.

to every guy: NEVER BE NORMAL +

PREDICTABLE

@pancho: if you are not familiar with DYD, get on to it!

[Yoel]

@pancho: if you are

not familiar with DYD, get on to it!

I second that.

Yoel