By laughing I don't mean I broke into a fit...I just showedOriginally Posted by Yoel
that I was joking. People who make jokes with serious expressions confuse the listener.
By laughing I don't mean I broke into a fit...I just showedOriginally Posted by Yoel
that I was joking. People who make jokes with serious expressions confuse the listener.
Indigo,
I get your "tell the
truth" ideal, but sometimes it's not necessary. By that I mean, it would be unnecessarily harsh and would cause
really unpleasant moments in the future. Besides, we are not trying to make him lie, just not open his mind
entirely.
Back to the topic:
looks like it's not a big deal after all, you were exaggerating it a bit,
good for you. So it was only a day, just tell her you were not in the mood of socializing and then play aloof.
Yoel
PS@Pancho: ok man, I figured that, it was an half-tease
The important part is in the PS, just
like here! The coincidences in life uh?
אני להיות לא באמת יהודי
A simple "Yes" or "No" would
suffice.
-Are you mad at me?
--No.
There, that works.
:-D and just to make her want
me more I sort of put my pencil through this girls hair just playing around, the girl didn't notice but I knew the
girl I like would. And I also hang out with a lot of girls as mostly "friends".
Yep. I meant that too.Originally Posted by Pancho1188
Just tell her my excuse if she demands it.
Yoel
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Your a geniusOriginally Posted by Pancho1188
pancho!
No, it works for real. It tells all
the right things. Like she's overanalyzing and you just are living normally. Oh, and say it looking like 'why are
you asking me that'.
Yoel
PS: I'm leaving now. I hope you survive to report
אני להיות לא באמת יהודי
The more insecure a person
feels about where he/she stands with you the more vulnerable they will be to your romantic advances and the more
intensely they will desire you..
A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."
'Originally Posted by SweetBrenda
And saying no will make her confused as to if I
really like her or not and will probably trigger that
*Grin*Originally Posted by DeMoKiLL
Well my friend,,you gotta do what you gotta do,,right?
Good Luck! really.
SB
A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."
k, she passed me in the hallway
I made eye contact then turned away and looked again as she said hi. Then in class she was like why are you mad at
me? I said, im not. Then she is like why are you ignoring me, I said I wasn't and she was like im sorry if im not
as funny as the other people you talk to instead of me(something like that) and she walked away. Then didn't talk
to her again the whole period. I'll do the aloof thing for a while and she will probably become attracted to me,
because I feel like she is a little right now, not a lot but a little.
oh and btw- I was talking to my friend
about the girl how I started ignoring her and how she is just a pain in the ass. And my friend is like I agree and
the girl is like "You guys are assholes" not in meanful way like with the omfg you didn't just say that way. Then
she like started talking to me and like messed with her hair. David DeAngelo is so right, act like an asshole (to an
extent) and girls will be attracted to you, or act like a wussy be nice, then find you boring and leave you for
someone else.
OmG, have a look: She cares and she feels bad seeing yourOriginally Posted by DeMoKiLL
bahaviour ! That is obvious!
If you continue that stupid tactics a few days more you will get the opposite of what
you intended:
you will loose her, as a friend and as a potential partner! For the case she starts having feeling
for you because of your ignorance:
Could you respect a woman ( respectively your relationship with her ), who only
felt appealed by you behaving like a stupid asshole ????????????????
hey if he loses her, it's her lost not his. he gives women the oppurtunity to show if theyOriginally Posted by Indigo
have good taste or not.
these aren't tactics. these actions reflect the new man that he is becoming. a real man
who acts on whatever he feels.
Regarding your fist statement, I absolutely agree! Regarding your second:Originally Posted by TRock
It is tactics. It would
not be tactics, if he would act naturally, if his ignorance would be because of feeling pissed of. Maybe be that was
the case at the beginning but actually he semms to do what he does because of auer advice, Archer Sloan and
whoever's texts he reads. That is tactics.
Sorry DeMoKill, it is inpolite to talk to others about
someone who is actually present. So I will talk to you:
As I said, if you feel bad because of her, don't
hesitate or feel afraid to show it! But don't behave bad just because you suppose it could be a good thing
to do. That would be the wrong reason.
You appreciate her character and personality ( concluding that from what you
said before ), so show her the respect she deserves ( in your own opinion ). What you actually do doesn't seem to
be very respectful. Does she deserve that ????? ( Not meant sarcastically, it's up to you to decide ).
If not,
than behave like you really fell in the situation beeing with her ( no matter if it is good or bad ). Be honest to
yourself! Show her the respect you would expect from her! How can you demand something from a person if even you are
not ready to give that ????
And if she lets you down than and nothing more will happen between you... then
and only then TRock is absolutely right: then it will be her lost and you can relax and look for another girl
!!!
Its all about HER showing ME the respect not about ME showing HER. And in relationships SOMETIMES itsOriginally Posted by Indigo
good not to be very respectful. You have to remember, to make people like you, you have to remind them that it is
YOUR reality as david deangelo states and when they try to cross you over into theirs you have to give them a little
wake up call. Everything you are saying is the "logical" way to do things, and with relationships "logical" isn't
always the best. Here ill throw an example your way, if women like nice guys, then how come there are a lot of wife
abusers around, and how come girls break up with guys who cling onto them, being too nice? Sure, you don't want to
be a total asshole you just have to make yourself be the selective one, and not be the person being selected,
because if you make her feel like she has the power to dump you at any given moment, she eventually will. You have
to establish that you will be setting the rules and she may be the one who gets dumped. Just listen to some deangelo
stuff, then TRY it in real life. You will see that it works, and it will change the way you look at things, how some
things seem right but they really aren't.
God, I hope she never reads this thread as she'll ran as fast and far as"Its all about HER showing
ME the respect not about ME showing HER. You have to remember, to make people like you, you have to remind them that
it is YOUR reality..."
possible. Respect, like trust, is something you earn over time. Sheesh, trying to "make people like you" is a waste
of time. If they don't like you for who you are, get over it and find someone that appreciates your unique
qualities and individuality. Your life will be simpler, less stressful and consequently more enjoyable.
"I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi
i'm with Demo on this one. having a woman like you for who youOriginally Posted by Gegogi
are is the worst advice a guy can get. throughout evolution women's brains have been form to like certain types of
men. they make decisions about the men they like through their primitive brain versus their conscious brain. the
primitive brain override the concious rational brain. learn to control the primitive brain and you will control her.
the primitive brain also overrides the rational brain. now you can be yourself if you're the type of guy that
stimulates her rational brain, if not than welcome to beta land and feed off the alpha's scraps.
remember the
saying "nice guys finish last". ever notice girls that say they're only attracted to assholes.
Of course, if we're merely
talking about scoring nookie or snagging a trophy girlfriend and not an intimate relationship, you're right.
Nevertheless, all the women in my life like me for who I am and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yeah, I'm a
sensitive artist, mellow metromale, breeding heart liberal and most women love me for it. Anyone that thinks they
can foster a relationship based on deception and insincerely hasn't a clue about intimacy between a man and woman.
Sadly, they will never experience true intimacy and the joys herein.
"I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi
there is no deception and
insincerity, you can't deceive and be insincere when that becomes your personality. these ARE NOT tactics, it is
not a side of you. you learn to get ride of the old chump that was programmed to be a chump by society and you
become a new man, an alpha male. let me ask you a question, if you're not the type of guy women in general (not a
woman once in a blue moon) are naturally attracted to why continue to be that guy?
btw are you referring to a
50/50 relationship aka she has you by the balls but you think you guys share the power?
I have to go with TRock and
Demo here, guys. I know this very well, especially with African American women, that most don't want what is
considered the nice guy. At lleast this is what they say. They want a "bad boy", a "thug" so to speak, somewhat of a
jerk, relative to TRock's example of being an a**hole. This is the type of guy that stands out in most women's
eyes of these times.
Indigo, trust me, I hear where you are coming from. I used to be like that. I still am in
some ways, and I often have to check myself as to when I'm being "too nice and sensitive" to a girl I'm interested
in. It was the way I was raised, to be nice, respectful and caring to women. Once I already have the girl, it's
usually okay to treat her that way. (then again, you'd still want to show yourself more of an alpha male. Don't be
clingy and OVERLY sensitive and such. You won't have her too long if you do.) But when you're still trying to get
with her, the nice guy role won't work. As I said, especially for African American females, too much of the "nice
guy" persona will probably leave you never getting that get that girl that "lights up the room when you see her."
Matter of fact, don't say that to her. It's too nice. She'll say you're sweet an all, but she probably won't
look at you as anything more than a good, "nice guy" friend.
Don't mean to make you feel attacked or anything,
but after reading what you wrote and noticing the familiarity of it, I thought I should step in and help out,
because as I said, I used to think just like you and earlier in life, I might've have been your chief supporter in
this conversation. Times have changed. Women's desires have, as well. I know better nowadays.
I suppose you guys must live in
another world (or date really young girls), but most women I've known grew out of the bad boy alpha male attraction
after high school. They're ready to settle down and want a real man, not a pretender. Rather than a thug, jerk or
A-hole, they want a dentist with a sensitive and devoted heart.
I've had a serious relationship with two
attractive African American women. They were largely drawn to me because of my musicianship, soft spoken demeanor
and sensitivity. One was constantly overjoyed by my kindness and gentle touch (yeah, that sounds weird). Perhaps
getting beat every week by a thug boyfriend gets old fast. I haven't a macho bone in my body. In fact, women often
think I'm gay at first. But whatever, I have no shortage of intelligent and attractive women in my life.
"I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi
Fat ugly girls are atracted to
nice guys.
Youre young pancho - youre all emotional if it gets to much save up a few hundred bucks and if its
legal in youre area go pay for a root - once that is out of the way well you can worry about real women.
All
women are bitches at some point.
Attractive ones are fickel and highly selective - just like some guys (all
of us paying more attention to the good looking ones instead of the fat ugly thing no one touches)
Great
advice sweet brenda - women want you to not wait for them to thing sexually mostly they want someone to lead. Make
the move etc. Ask her out if she says no - you move on and use that old scatter approach i use when
single.
Of course you could always try for someone out of youre social group ie if white go for asians or
african americans - europeans etc.
And vise versa.
And when it comes to tactics its more natural tactics
or natural approach if youre natural aproach is wrong - then you gotta look at successful tactics and make them
automatic responses from within youreself ie if youre to nice you need to automatically be a bit more hard and
bastard (but not to much) just enough to show youre male testosrtrone stand up for youre self and not be bullied
into whimpish submission (not psychical either its mental appraoch and toughness)
Violence against women is
unacceptible in all cases. But mentally being able to stand up to them and not be pushed around when she gets
bitchy is a good sign.
Thanks Gegodi, thank. I thought, I am the onlyOriginally Posted by Gegogi
person seeing things like that !!!!!
Hello Darkman,Originally Posted by Darkman84
I don't feel offended at all. I appreciate your opinion and advice! That's
mainly because I already knew that you are right. I know that nearly every woman on this planet is like you and
TRock say.
I don't contradict your vision of the facts. But to quote deAngelo: It is always ones own reality.
I
have met so many different people living in totally different worlds ( not better or worse, just different ), and I
believe the worls around you is just as bad ( or as good ) as you accept it be.
Everybody has to create his own
reality (like DAngelo recommends to do ). I just do it in a different way. I am not a nice guy because I have
learned to do so. I am who I am, I am working on it trying not to betray myself and what I believe in. If a woman
treats me bad, I tell her and show her.
I'm sure getting woman is much easier doing what Trock, you and most
others here say, but beeing honest to myself: I could't have much respect for a woman who feels appealed when
someone is bad and respectless towards her ( especially when it is no natural respectelessness because of oneself
but only caused by tactics ). It might be ok to have a relationship in which I feel superior and fell to be the
alpha male, but in the long run I couldn't respect her and would no longer be able to look into the mirror, I would
have to say to myself: "I am together with a woman, and I know I don't respect her, but I am still together with
her! Is that ok and fair ( even if she doesn't recognize) ?????"
I never want to be treated like that. If a
woman doesn't respect me, and I am too dumb to see it,
she should be mature enough to leave me ( just out of a
little remaining respect ). I would do the same thing!
I know you are right Darkman ( generally speaking ). I
know there are hardly any women beeing more natural ans less manipulable, but they exist ( Gegodi meets them at
times). I never met too many of them, but in my close circle of friends there are relationships of that kind
I am looking for, which got started in different ways than usual. So unfortunaltely I know that what I belive in
exists, and it would be gutless to give up and simply change what I believe in ( and who I am )! I do that every
day, developing myself, doubting and questioning my positions, but I can't and don't want to give up
what is
unfortunaly very deep in me ( and for which I get alot of respect and esteem from my close friends ). They see the
worth of my values and if a woman does not see it... then I don't want her and it is her loss !
Just out of
curiosity: Where do you expect me to come from ????
Uhhh...okay...Originally Posted by Watcher
Anyway,
the problem with people is that everyone uses the terms "nice guy" and "asshole" without understanding what it
actually entails. "Nice guys" are tools. Read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and find out what I'm talking about.
You'll find out that nice guys aren't so nice. They are unconfident, manipulative,
do-anything-to-please-others-so-others-will-please-them-when-they-should-just-do-things-for-themselves toolbags. As
for "assholes", people mistake being mean for being confident and your own person and not worried about stuff like
rejection or whatever. You don't have to insult a girl to make her respect you...you just have to show you've got
confidence. Women are more likely to go out with an "asshole" than a "nice guy" because "assholes" show the most
confidence (although that confidence grows into complete ignorance of other people's feelings and there's where
you cross the line from a "catch" into an "asshole"). Yes, girls are attracted to and go out with "assholes"...but
how many happy, satisfied women in meaningful relationships for 50 years call their partners "assholes"? How many
women who actually talk positively about their bfs cal them "assholes"? What type of women would go out with an
"asshole" (those with self-confidence/self-esteem issues)?
Maybe "it takes one to know one" and those women
don't want to go out with guys with the same problems they know they are facing. As for joking about a girl's
looks or whatever, that could be manipulative because the reason they like "assholes" is because they have low
self-esteem (and may or may not know they are attractive), so when you question what everyone else takes as a given,
they will do anything to please you and make you change your mind just like the "nice guy" would do anything to
please women.
I recommend reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" to understand what it truly means to be a "nice guy",
an "asshole", or a "catch" ("catch" is my own term as I'm not sure if there's a better term for it).
I think we need to give women a
lobotomy on their limbic brain, and that will solve everything.
Pancho,
It's ok to be nice if
you really feel that way, you won't come off as a wussy. Just keep it down
It's hard to mark the line
between a "catch" and a jerk, the answer is field test, I'm still working on it too. You can't really say anything
that crosses your mind
Yoel
אני להיות לא באמת יהודי
I didn't say you couldn't be nice, I said thatOriginally Posted by Yoel
"nice guys" are not so nice. I will replace "being nice" with being a good person. You should be a good person.
That's what the difference is between a "catch" and an "asshole". "Assholes" bring others down to make themselves
look good. "Catches" are confident in themselves and don't need to bring others down to show that they are worthy.
"Nice guys" do anything to please trying to get the approval they can't get from themselves.
Again, you have
to read the book to know where I'm coming from or else you won't understand as well because you won't be using
the same definition for the terms I'm using. Unless I make perfect sense, which if you ask bjf is a long shot.
haha, Pancho, I've understood
everything you've said (and have always felt the same way, myself). Although I do admit, I skipped a few
sentences.
Understandable, actually. The age factor might be the key. I'm 20, so I'm talkingOriginally Posted by Gegogi
about girls OUT of high school, mostly college chicks. I tend to agree that when women get older, they don't think
that way anymore. I mean like 35 and over.
Think you're gay at first? Dang, you don't feel insulted? I
would.
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