How to reverse the "I like you" mistake, guys make

[Indigo]

Tell her the truth!

If

you felt like getting treated like dirt than tell her!
Pretending not to know what she is talking about ...


She is not stupid and know that you are lying.
I don't think that will do any good !

[Pancho1188]

Well, I'd say

that happened for two (2) reasons. Let me explain:
reason number 1) you laughed...who ever laughs at his own jokes?

come on
and reason number 2) when you have to "explain" a joke it gets boring altogether, you should have

replied something on he lines of 'Oh, I get it: you're in denial now" and then turn away leaving her wondering



Yoel

PS: I forgot the most important note: in my suggestion he says "but you can't have me" before she

actually has a chance to understand what's going on, while you gave her plenty of time (explaining it too), like

you were expecting some sort of response. While in my example (yeah, I know, I should buy a thesaurus) he just

assumes it, which is funny if delivered well.

By laughing I don't mean I broke into a fit...I just showed

that I was joking. People who make jokes with serious expressions confuse the listener.

[Yoel]

Indigo,
I get your "tell the

truth" ideal, but sometimes it's not necessary. By that I mean, it would be unnecessarily harsh and would cause

really unpleasant moments in the future. Besides, we are not trying to make him lie, just not open his mind

entirely.

Back to the topic:
looks like it's not a big deal after all, you were exaggerating it a bit,

good for you. So it was only a day, just tell her you were not in the mood of socializing and then play aloof.



Yoel

PS@Pancho: ok man, I figured that, it was an half-tease
The important part is in the PS, just

like here! The coincidences in life uh?

[Pancho1188]

A simple "Yes" or "No" would

suffice.

-Are you mad at me?
--No.

There, that works.

[DeMoKiLL]

:-D and just to make her want

me more I sort of put my pencil through this girls hair just playing around, the girl didn't notice but I knew the

girl I like would. And I also hang out with a lot of girls as mostly "friends".

[Yoel]

A simple "Yes" or

"No" would suffice.

-Are you mad at me?
--No.

There, that works.

Yep. I meant that too.

Just tell her my excuse if she demands it.

Yoel

[DeMoKiLL]

A simple

"Yes" or "No" would suffice.

-Are you mad at me?
--No.

There, that works.

Your a genius

pancho!

[Yoel]

No, it works for real. It tells all

the right things. Like she's overanalyzing and you just are living normally. Oh, and say it looking like 'why are

you asking me that'.

Yoel

PS: I'm leaving now. I hope you survive to report

[SweetBrenda]

The more insecure a person

feels about where he/she stands with you the more vulnerable they will be to your romantic advances and the more

intensely they will desire you..

[DeMoKiLL]

The more

insecure a person feels about where he/she stands with you the more vulnerable they will be to your romantic

advances and the more intensely they will desire you..

'
And saying no will make her confused as to if I

really like her or not and will probably trigger that

[SweetBrenda]

'
And

saying no will make her confused as to if I really like her or not and will probably trigger

that

*Grin*
Well my friend,,you gotta do what you gotta do,,right?
Good Luck! really.
SB

[DeMoKiLL]

k, she passed me in the hallway

I made eye contact then turned away and looked again as she said hi. Then in class she was like why are you mad at

me? I said, im not. Then she is like why are you ignoring me, I said I wasn't and she was like im sorry if im not

as funny as the other people you talk to instead of me(something like that) and she walked away. Then didn't talk

to her again the whole period. I'll do the aloof thing for a while and she will probably become attracted to me,

because I feel like she is a little right now, not a lot but a little.

oh and btw- I was talking to my friend

about the girl how I started ignoring her and how she is just a pain in the ass. And my friend is like I agree and

the girl is like "You guys are assholes" not in meanful way like with the omfg you didn't just say that way. Then

she like started talking to me and like messed with her hair. David DeAngelo is so right, act like an asshole (to an

extent) and girls will be attracted to you, or act like a wussy be nice, then find you boring and leave you for

someone else.

[Indigo]

k, she passed me

in the hallway I made eye contact then turned away and looked again as she said hi. Then in class she was like why

are you mad at me? I said, im not. Then she is like why are you ignoring me, I said I wasn't and she was like im

sorry if im not as funny as the other people you talk to instead of me (something like that) and she walked away.

Then didn't talk to her again the whole period.

OmG, have a look: She cares and she feels bad seeing your

bahaviour ! That is obvious!
If you continue that stupid tactics a few days more you will get the opposite of what

you intended:
you will loose her, as a friend and as a potential partner! For the case she starts having feeling

for you because of your ignorance:
Could you respect a woman ( respectively your relationship with her ), who only

felt appealed by you behaving like a stupid asshole ????????????????

[TRock]

OmG, have a look:

She cares and she feels bad seeing your bahaviour ! That is obvious!
If you continue that stupid tactics a few days

more you will get the opposite of what you intended:
you will loose her, as a friend and as a potential partner!

For the case she starts having feeling for you because of your ignorance:
Could you respect a woman ( respectively

your relationship with her ), who only felt appealed by you behaving like a stupid asshole

????????????????

hey if he loses her, it's her lost not his. he gives women the oppurtunity to show if they

have good taste or not.

these aren't tactics. these actions reflect the new man that he is becoming. a real man

who acts on whatever he feels.

[Indigo]

hey if he loses her,

it's her lost not his. he gives women the oppurtunity to show if they have good taste or not.

these aren't

tactics. these actions reflect the new man that he is becoming. a real man who acts on whatever he

feels.

Regarding your fist statement, I absolutely agree! Regarding your second:

It is tactics. It would

not be tactics, if he would act naturally, if his ignorance would be because of feeling pissed of. Maybe be that was

the case at the beginning but actually he semms to do what he does because of auer advice, Archer Sloan and

whoever's texts he reads. That is tactics.

Sorry DeMoKill, it is inpolite to talk to others about

someone who is actually present. So I will talk to you:

As I said, if you feel bad because of her, don't

hesitate or feel afraid to show it! But don't behave bad just because you suppose it could be a good thing

to do. That would be the wrong reason.
You appreciate her character and personality ( concluding that from what you

said before ), so show her the respect she deserves ( in your own opinion ). What you actually do doesn't seem to

be very respectful. Does she deserve that ????? ( Not meant sarcastically, it's up to you to decide ).
If not,

than behave like you really fell in the situation beeing with her ( no matter if it is good or bad ). Be honest to

yourself! Show her the respect you would expect from her! How can you demand something from a person if even you are

not ready to give that ????
And if she lets you down than and nothing more will happen between you... then

and only then TRock is absolutely right: then it will be her lost and you can relax and look for another girl

!!!

[DeMoKiLL]

Regarding your

fist statement, I absolutely agree! Regarding your second:

It is tactics. It would not be tactics, if he

would act naturally, if his ignorance would be because of feeling pissed of. Maybe be that was the case at the

beginning but actually he semms to do what he does because of auer advice, Archer Sloan and whoever's texts he

reads. That is tactics.

Sorry DeMoKill, it is inpolite to talk to others about someone who is

actually present. So I will talk to you:

As I said, if you feel bad because of her, don't hesitate or feel

afraid to show it! But don't behave bad just because you suppose it could be a good thing to do. That would

be the wrong reason.
You appreciate her character and personality ( concluding that from what you said before ),

so show her the respect she deserves ( in your own opinion ). What you actually do doesn't seem to be very

respectful. Does she deserve that ????? ( Not meant sarcastically, it's up to you to decide ).
If not, than

behave like you really fell in the situation beeing with her ( no matter if it is good or bad ). Be honest to

yourself! Show her the respect you would expect from her! How can you demand something from a person if even you are

not ready to give that ????
And if she lets you down than and nothing more will happen between you... then

and only then TRock is absolutely right: then it will be her lost and you can relax and look for another girl

!!!

Its all about HER showing ME the respect not about ME showing HER. And in relationships SOMETIMES its

good not to be very respectful. You have to remember, to make people like you, you have to remind them that it is

YOUR reality as david deangelo states and when they try to cross you over into theirs you have to give them a little

wake up call. Everything you are saying is the "logical" way to do things, and with relationships "logical" isn't

always the best. Here ill throw an example your way, if women like nice guys, then how come there are a lot of wife

abusers around, and how come girls break up with guys who cling onto them, being too nice? Sure, you don't want to

be a total asshole you just have to make yourself be the selective one, and not be the person being selected,

because if you make her feel like she has the power to dump you at any given moment, she eventually will. You have

to establish that you will be setting the rules and she may be the one who gets dumped. Just listen to some deangelo

stuff, then TRY it in real life. You will see that it works, and it will change the way you look at things, how some

things seem right but they really aren't.

[Gegogi]

"Its all about HER showing

ME the respect not about ME showing HER. You have to remember, to make people like you, you have to remind them that

it is YOUR reality..."

God, I hope she never reads this thread as she'll ran as fast and far as

possible. Respect, like trust, is something you earn over time. Sheesh, trying to "make people like you" is a waste

of time. If they don't like you for who you are, get over it and find someone that appreciates your unique

qualities and individuality. Your life will be simpler, less stressful and consequently more enjoyable.

[TRock]

God, I hope she

never reads this thread as she'll ran as fast and far as possible. Respect, like trust, is something you earn over

time. Sheesh, trying to "make people like you" is a waste of time. If they don't like you for who you are, get over

it and find someone that appreciates your unique qualities and individuality. Your life will be simpler, less

stressful and consequently more enjoyable.

i'm with Demo on this one. having a woman like you for who you

are is the worst advice a guy can get. throughout evolution women's brains have been form to like certain types of

men. they make decisions about the men they like through their primitive brain versus their conscious brain. the

primitive brain override the concious rational brain. learn to control the primitive brain and you will control her.

the primitive brain also overrides the rational brain. now you can be yourself if you're the type of guy that

stimulates her rational brain, if not than welcome to beta land and feed off the alpha's scraps.

remember the

saying "nice guys finish last". ever notice girls that say they're only attracted to assholes.

[Gegogi]

Of course, if we're merely

talking about scoring nookie or snagging a trophy girlfriend and not an intimate relationship, you're right.



Nevertheless, all the women in my life like me for who I am and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yeah, I'm a

sensitive artist, mellow metromale, breeding heart liberal and most women love me for it. Anyone that thinks they

can foster a relationship based on deception and insincerely hasn't a clue about intimacy between a man and woman.

Sadly, they will never experience true intimacy and the joys herein.

[TRock]

there is no deception and

insincerity, you can't deceive and be insincere when that becomes your personality. these ARE NOT tactics, it is

not a side of you. you learn to get ride of the old chump that was programmed to be a chump by society and you

become a new man, an alpha male. let me ask you a question, if you're not the type of guy women in general (not a

woman once in a blue moon) are naturally attracted to why continue to be that guy?

btw are you referring to a

50/50 relationship aka she has you by the balls but you think you guys share the power?

[Darkman84]

I have to go with TRock and

Demo here, guys. I know this very well, especially with African American women, that most don't want what is

considered the nice guy. At lleast this is what they say. They want a "bad boy", a "thug" so to speak, somewhat of a

jerk, relative to TRock's example of being an a**hole. This is the type of guy that stands out in most women's

eyes of these times.

Indigo, trust me, I hear where you are coming from. I used to be like that. I still am in

some ways, and I often have to check myself as to when I'm being "too nice and sensitive" to a girl I'm interested

in. It was the way I was raised, to be nice, respectful and caring to women. Once I already have the girl, it's

usually okay to treat her that way. (then again, you'd still want to show yourself more of an alpha male. Don't be

clingy and OVERLY sensitive and such. You won't have her too long if you do.) But when you're still trying to get

with her, the nice guy role won't work. As I said, especially for African American females, too much of the "nice

guy" persona will probably leave you never getting that get that girl that "lights up the room when you see her."

Matter of fact, don't say that to her. It's too nice. She'll say you're sweet an all, but she probably won't

look at you as anything more than a good, "nice guy" friend.

Don't mean to make you feel attacked or anything,

but after reading what you wrote and noticing the familiarity of it, I thought I should step in and help out,

because as I said, I used to think just like you and earlier in life, I might've have been your chief supporter in

this conversation. Times have changed. Women's desires have, as well. I know better nowadays.

[Gegogi]

I suppose you guys must live in

another world (or date really young girls), but most women I've known grew out of the bad boy alpha male attraction

after high school. They're ready to settle down and want a real man, not a pretender. Rather than a thug, jerk or

A-hole, they want a dentist with a sensitive and devoted heart.

I've had a serious relationship with two

attractive African American women. They were largely drawn to me because of my musicianship, soft spoken demeanor

and sensitivity. One was constantly overjoyed by my kindness and gentle touch (yeah, that sounds weird). Perhaps

getting beat every week by a thug boyfriend gets old fast. I haven't a macho bone in my body. In fact, women often

think I'm gay at first. But whatever, I have no shortage of intelligent and attractive women in my life.

[Watcher]

Fat ugly girls are atracted to

nice guys.

Youre young pancho - youre all emotional if it gets to much save up a few hundred bucks and if its

legal in youre area go pay for a root - once that is out of the way well you can worry about real women.

All

women are bitches at some point.

Attractive ones are fickel and highly selective - just like some guys (all

of us paying more attention to the good looking ones instead of the fat ugly thing no one touches)

Great

advice sweet brenda - women want you to not wait for them to thing sexually mostly they want someone to lead. Make

the move etc. Ask her out if she says no - you move on and use that old scatter approach i use when

single.

Of course you could always try for someone out of youre social group ie if white go for asians or

african americans - europeans etc.
And vise versa.

And when it comes to tactics its more natural tactics

or natural approach if youre natural aproach is wrong - then you gotta look at successful tactics and make them

automatic responses from within youreself ie if youre to nice you need to automatically be a bit more hard and

bastard (but not to much) just enough to show youre male testosrtrone stand up for youre self and not be bullied

into whimpish submission (not psychical either its mental appraoch and toughness)

Violence against women is

unacceptible in all cases. But mentally being able to stand up to them and not be pushed around when she gets

bitchy is a good sign.

[Indigo]

God, I hope she

never reads this thread as she'll ran as fast and far as possible. Respect, like trust, is something you earn over

time. Sheesh, trying to "make people like you" is a waste of time. If they don't like you for who you are, get over

it and find someone that appreciates your unique qualities and individuality. Your life will be simpler, less

stressful and consequently more enjoyable.

Thanks Gegodi, thank. I thought, I am the only

person seeing things like that !!!!!

Don't mean to make you feel attacked

or anything, but after reading what you wrote and noticing the familiarity of it, I thought I should step in and

help out, because as I said, I used to think just like you and earlier in life, I might've have been your chief

supporter in this conversation. Times have changed. Women's desires have, as well. I know better

nowadays.

Hello Darkman,

I don't feel offended at all. I appreciate your opinion and advice! That's

mainly because I already knew that you are right. I know that nearly every woman on this planet is like you and

TRock say.
I don't contradict your vision of the facts. But to quote deAngelo: It is always ones own reality.
I

have met so many different people living in totally different worlds ( not better or worse, just different ), and I

believe the worls around you is just as bad ( or as good ) as you accept it be.
Everybody has to create his own

reality (like DAngelo recommends to do ). I just do it in a different way. I am not a nice guy because I have

learned to do so. I am who I am, I am working on it trying not to betray myself and what I believe in. If a woman

treats me bad, I tell her and show her.
I'm sure getting woman is much easier doing what Trock, you and most

others here say, but beeing honest to myself: I could't have much respect for a woman who feels appealed when

someone is bad and respectless towards her ( especially when it is no natural respectelessness because of oneself

but only caused by tactics ). It might be ok to have a relationship in which I feel superior and fell to be the

alpha male, but in the long run I couldn't respect her and would no longer be able to look into the mirror, I would

have to say to myself: "I am together with a woman, and I know I don't respect her, but I am still together with

her! Is that ok and fair ( even if she doesn't recognize) ?????"
I never want to be treated like that. If a

woman doesn't respect me, and I am too dumb to see it,
she should be mature enough to leave me ( just out of a

little remaining respect ). I would do the same thing!

I know you are right Darkman ( generally speaking ). I

know there are hardly any women beeing more natural ans less manipulable, but they exist ( Gegodi meets them at

times). I never met too many of them, but in my close circle of friends there are relationships of that kind

I am looking for, which got started in different ways than usual. So unfortunaltely I know that what I belive in

exists, and it would be gutless to give up and simply change what I believe in ( and who I am )! I do that every

day, developing myself, doubting and questioning my positions, but I can't and don't want to give up
what is

unfortunaly very deep in me ( and for which I get alot of respect and esteem from my close friends ). They see the

worth of my values and if a woman does not see it... then I don't want her and it is her loss !

Just out of

curiosity: Where do you expect me to come from ????

[Pancho1188]

Youre young

pancho - youre all emotional if it gets to much save up a few hundred bucks and if its legal in youre area go pay

for a root - once that is out of the way well you can worry about real women.

Uhhh...okay...


Anyway,

the problem with people is that everyone uses the terms "nice guy" and "asshole" without understanding what it

actually entails. "Nice guys" are tools. Read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and find out what I'm talking about.

You'll find out that nice guys aren't so nice. They are unconfident, manipulative,

do-anything-to-please-others-so-others-will-please-them-when-they-should-just-do-things-for-themselves toolbags. As

for "assholes", people mistake being mean for being confident and your own person and not worried about stuff like

rejection or whatever. You don't have to insult a girl to make her respect you...you just have to show you've got

confidence. Women are more likely to go out with an "asshole" than a "nice guy" because "assholes" show the most

confidence (although that confidence grows into complete ignorance of other people's feelings and there's where

you cross the line from a "catch" into an "asshole"). Yes, girls are attracted to and go out with "assholes"...but

how many happy, satisfied women in meaningful relationships for 50 years call their partners "assholes"? How many

women who actually talk positively about their bfs cal them "assholes"? What type of women would go out with an

"asshole" (those with self-confidence/self-esteem issues)?

Maybe "it takes one to know one" and those women

don't want to go out with guys with the same problems they know they are facing. As for joking about a girl's

looks or whatever, that could be manipulative because the reason they like "assholes" is because they have low

self-esteem (and may or may not know they are attractive), so when you question what everyone else takes as a given,

they will do anything to please you and make you change your mind just like the "nice guy" would do anything to

please women.

I recommend reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" to understand what it truly means to be a "nice guy",

an "asshole", or a "catch" ("catch" is my own term as I'm not sure if there's a better term for it).

[bjf]

I think we need to give women a

lobotomy on their limbic brain, and that will solve everything.

[Yoel]

Pancho,

It's ok to be nice if

you really feel that way, you won't come off as a wussy. Just keep it down

It's hard to mark the line

between a "catch" and a jerk, the answer is field test, I'm still working on it too. You can't really say anything

that crosses your mind

Yoel

[Pancho1188]

Pancho,

It's

ok to be nice if you really feel that way, you won't come off as a wussy. Just keep it down

It's hard to

mark the line between a "catch" and a jerk, the answer is field test, I'm still working on it too. You can't

really say anything that crosses your mind

Yoel

I didn't say you couldn't be nice, I said that

"nice guys" are not so nice. I will replace "being nice" with being a good person. You should be a good person.

That's what the difference is between a "catch" and an "asshole". "Assholes" bring others down to make themselves

look good. "Catches" are confident in themselves and don't need to bring others down to show that they are worthy.

"Nice guys" do anything to please trying to get the approval they can't get from themselves.

Again, you have

to read the book to know where I'm coming from or else you won't understand as well because you won't be using

the same definition for the terms I'm using. Unless I make perfect sense, which if you ask bjf is a long shot.

[bjf]

haha, Pancho, I've understood

everything you've said (and have always felt the same way, myself). Although I do admit, I skipped a few

sentences.

[Darkman84]

I suppose you

guys must live in another world (or date really young girls), but most women I've known grew out of the bad boy

alpha male attraction after high school. They're ready to settle down and want a real man, not a pretender. Rather

than a thug, jerk or A-hole, they want a dentist with a sensitive and devoted heart.

I've had a serious

relationship with two attractive African American women. They were largely drawn to me because of my musicianship,

soft spoken demeanor and sensitivity. One was constantly overjoyed by my kindness and gentle touch (yeah, that

sounds weird). Perhaps getting beat every week by a thug boyfriend gets old fast. I haven't a macho bone in my

body. In fact, women often think I'm gay at first. But whatever, I have no shortage of intelligent and attractive

women in my life.

Understandable, actually. The age factor might be the key. I'm 20, so I'm talking

about girls OUT of high school, mostly college chicks. I tend to agree that when women get older, they don't think

that way anymore. I mean like 35 and over.

Think you're gay at first? Dang, you don't feel insulted? I

would.