How to reverse the "I like you" mistake, guys make

[DeMoKiLL]

and what SHOULD I say to change

how she thinks about me, and to remove my status of being mad to being attractive

[Bruce]

OK, I'll throw in my 2 cents worth

here. Rather than say vague stuff like "I like you" which can be taken as "Jeez, I sure am one lonely MF", say

stuff like "Hey, you got your hair cut; looks great!" or "Very nice dress" or whatever. The trick is being "real"

spontaneous etc etc. If you do it right, you can really give the girl a buzz without sticking you neck out in the

least. You remain a mystery. Maybe you are already in a commited relationship. You are just letting the gal know

you notice and appreciate her without saying you *need* her for some agenda of your own. You have to be cool about

it though. If you hang around waiting for her to "respond" to your "technique", you blow the whole thing. The key

is to "appreciate" rather than "need". Same goes with being helpful. If it is obvious you just want some nooky and

are not really a naturally helpful guy, you might just as well tell her how lonely and horny you are.

B

[Snoopy]

I don't think there's anything

you can SAY to completely brain wash her into being attracted to you. You've listened to David DeAngelo, have you

not? The words are a mere 7% of the total communication expressed. Hopefully you haven't made her too upset by

"ignoring" her. I think you should just drop that act and be who you normally are around school - with one

exception: don't initiate any conversations with her. Wait for HER to do it. I've tried the ignoring thing before

when I was in high-school, and when I had one-itis over this one girl. I liked the "attention" I was receiving, but

believe me, I didn't figure out until later that it was the bad kind of attention... and not the good. If you keep

this up, you'll be labelled as "too moody" for her - that's what happened to me, and it's taken me 2 years to rid

myself of that label (I'm still friends with her).

On a side note.. if you could maybe group your posts into 1

big one, would save us a lot of trouble having to keep scrolling down to read more! Thanks

DeMoKiLL, I

suggest you re-read David DeAngelo's stuff, and always remember, YOU have the edge because YOU have the -mones

working for you - combine those along with the you that made her friends with you in the first place, and you can't

go wrong. There's no quick fix to anything.

[CptKipling]

How should I

answer why im "mad" at her?

Something allong the lines of telling her she is being silly and reading too

much into things. Don't break the tension by acting nicey-nice all of a sudden though.

Act aloof by talking to

her, but only in a very casual way. So talk back when she talks to you, but keep your outward enthusiasm about

talking to her to a relatively low level (so cut things short). You can initiate conversations aswell, but stay

casual and don't get gushy. Don't be rude, and be funny and make jokes around her (take the piss out of her

slightly aswell).

Easy enough?

[DeMoKiLL]

alright, but idk when she did

talk to me I kind of just acted like I was ignoring her, so calling her silly may be a bit weird because it was

obvious. Oh well ill try it, after a while in my life, I don't really care what happens or not. She just is that

special one to me, more for her personality then her looks. But hey she is good looking so she has a lot of guys

going for her as well so I have to do something that makes me above them.

[CptKipling]

(I just read a previous post

properly)
Don't give her the explanation out of the blue, only offer it if she asks.

[DeMoKiLL]

ok I have another plan, would

this work out? Im going to say you know that time way back when I said I liked you, well I was just joking, I hope

you didn't take it seriously, I only want to be friends. I have my sights set on a few other girls. After listening

to more david deangelo I concluded that, that would be the best thing to say because it would make me look more

selective by basically saying, you can't have me that way (making her want it even more). Do you agree this would

turn the whole thing around and put me in the seat of power?

[BassMan]

ok I have another

plan, would this work out? Im going to say you know that time way back when I said I liked you, well I was just

joking, I hope you didn't take it seriously, I only want to be friends. I have my sights set on a few other girls.

After listening to more david deangelo I concluded that, that would be the best thing to say because it would make

me look more selective by basically saying, you can't have me that way (making her want it even more). Do you agree

this would turn the whole thing around and put me in the seat of power?

I think it would sound rather

contrived, myself.

-Bass

[bjf]

I think it would sound

rather contrived, myself.

-Bass

So do I, but I still want to see what would happen.

[DeMoKiLL]

yea if she asks why I did it

ill say I was just messing around and held it on for so long to see what she would do

[Gegogi]

If you do that, you'll probably

be plugged as insincere and a liar and that will be that.

[CptKipling]

Yeah, actions speak louder than

words.

Don't tell her your not gushy, show her.

[TRock]

ok I have another

plan, would this work out? Im going to say you know that time way back when I said I liked you, well I was just

joking, I hope you didn't take it seriously, I only want to be friends. I have my sights set on a few other girls.

After listening to more david deangelo I concluded that, that would be the best thing to say because it would make

me look more selective by basically saying, you can't have me that way (making her want it even more). Do you agree

this would turn the whole thing around and put me in the seat of power?

don't do that. just accept

what you did as a man. making excuses will make you look like aweirdo to her. play aloof and make it look like

she's seeing too much into things.

[Snoopy]

Friendly1's sticky comes to mind

when reading this

thread:
http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1131

9

[Yoel]

The "I was just joking" excuse is

soo lame, you could as well take an indelible marker and write 'wussy' all over your face. Did you really listen

to DYD? I'd take another look at it if I were you. And you being you, you should.

By the way, you

pretty much messed up when you started ignoring her, this would be the final kick in the nuts.
Captain explained

the exact meaning of "being aloof". Moreover, if she goes wtf, why did you ignore me yesterday (your fault :P), just

turn it around. "Why, I didn't think you'd care that much. Are you saying you're in love with me? Because,

that's a shame, you pretty much killed your chances with me."

Yoel

[DeMoKiLL]

confidence isn't really apart

of it, I have as much confidence as I need, I can pretty much go up to any girl and make a move, im not afraid of it

AT ALL. This is different.

[Snoopy]

If you don't get yourself

together, the situation will just get worse. It's about 10 times easier to dig a hole for yourself than to get out,

and from the looks of it you just keep digging and digging. So stop. Take a break. Go enjoy your other hobbies for a

while and try not to think about her for a few days. Then, when you do come back to think about her, try to see what

YOU are like from HER eyes, or at least from a perspective other than your own. Sometimes mixing up reality with

what you think is all it takes to ruin something good.

[Snoopy]

confidence isn't

really apart of it, I have as much confidence as I need, I can pretty much go up to any girl and make a move, im not

afraid of it AT ALL. This is different.

This is one-itis.

[Pancho1188]

ok I have

another plan, would this work out? Im going to say you know that time way back when I said I liked you, well I was

just joking, I hope you didn't take it seriously, I only want to be friends. I have my sights set on a few other

girls. After listening to more david deangelo I concluded that, that would be the best thing to say because it would

make me look more selective by basically saying, you can't have me that way (making her want it even more). Do you

agree this would turn the whole thing around and put me in the seat of power?

You'll totally look like a

tool. I wouldn't buy that for a second. Just let it go, man... (the comment, that is) Just the fact that you

brought it up again shows that you care. Think about it. I've jokingly told people I had a crush on them, and I

never mentioned it again because I was, in fact, joking. Of course, they knew I was...but I wouldn't have

mentioned it again even if they didn't. Why? I didn't really like them...

I hope you take a moment to

process that. If you take the time to bring up the subject, it shows you care about the subject.

If you want to

show disinterest in her, you could go to her with girl advice for other women. The problem: you must

actually have a girl problem to go to them with. People will see through a 'made-up' situation. Think about all

of those movies where they say, "I have this friend...I like her but don't know what to do," you'll sound like

you're talking about her or something. Problem #2: If you like her and are solely talking to her for advice to get

to her, it will kill you inside if she's so enthusiastic and helpful instead of your hopeful reaction of held-back

jealousy.

I don't like to be negative and take down your hopes, man, but your best bet is to be a friend and

move on to other people. You can't change her mind over night, so the only way you're going to prove her

otherwise is to have her realize that you are the one she should want. Now, the problem I have is that I

can't do that. If I cross the line into really liking someone, I can't go back and be okay. I had the patience

once to live with my feelings while being friends and got the girl after 5 months, but it drove me insane for

that time (funny how it was worth it when it actually happened). I'm in a similar situation right now, and since I

don't want to go through what I did before, I'm trying to just get away from it. Unfortunately, I can't...so

I'm making the best of it. I wish you better luck than me, man, but your best bet is to move on to other things

and maybe she'll change her mind.

[MOBLEYC57]

yea if she asks

why I did it ill say I was just messing around and held it on for so long to see what she would

do

TRANSLATION 1: I like playing with people I care about heads.

TRANSLATION of TRANSLATION 1: If

you're into people playing games with your head, I'm your man!

You'd come out better by just

saying, "I don't know." It will make you look stupid, but it keeps you from putting your foot in your

mouth!

Either or ......................................... LOSER!

[Indigo]

alright, but idk

when she did talk to me I kind of just acted like I was ignoring her, so calling her silly may be a bit weird

because it was obvious. Oh well ill try it, after a while in my life, I don't really care what happens or not. She

just is that special one to me, more for her personality then her looks. But hey she is good looking so she has a

lot of guys going for her as well so I have to do something that makes me above them.

Hello DeMoKiLL,



well, as I am likely one of the less successfull members regarding woman, I won't give you any advice ( you would

probably not benefit too much adhering it ) but here is what I think and believe:

Stop playing Games !!!!!!!

( not meant offensive )

If I got it right you have known her for a relatively long time. You learned to

appreciate her personality and began to feel more than just friendship and physical attraction for her. You showed

your feeling ( perhaps in an too friendshiplike way ? ), told her about it and she turned you down. I don't know if

she was bad to you in other ways or if she turned you down in an inappropriate, rude or insulting way, but I guess

you would have told us. So taking all that, it must have been hard for you, but nothing someone could blame your

friend for.
It is absolutely understandable and ok that you feel kind of pissed of at times and it is also ok when

you don't hide it from her. But.... stop gaming!
I know honesty, integrity and respect are qualities that help to

keep relationships alive and make them longlasting and fortunate, but only in rare cases they cause people to fall

in love.
You both are far from the usual firs steps of superficial flirting and playing games ( which is good and

funny, it simply belongs to human mating rituals ). But your relationship is already deeper, so many of the things

you should take into account when getting to know a new interesting girl does not apply to your problem.
Stop

acting in certain ways for tactical reasons! Be yourself! If you feel hurt by her.. show it ( or to put it in better

words ... don't hide it). You really like her, so if you do feel like beeing friendly and charming to her or

whatever ... damn... than do it !!!! There has to be room for that honesty, more than ever regarding that you have

known her for more than just a few weeks!!Integrity, sincerity and honesty does not show through what you say but

how you say it and with which intention you said it.
If she is really worth it she will recognize your value (

perhaps as a boyfriend, perhaps "only" as a close, trustworthy friend ). She definitely likes you! The whispering to

the other guy, that you would be mad at her, and trying to get your attention seeing you ignoring her clearly show

that she is caring.
Only god knows what more might be behind it, but if you want to get going a decent

relationship with the potential of lasting more than a few month ( and most of what you wrote in this thread tell me

you want more ) the only way to get that from this ( or another ) girl is to be sincere. It was not her fault that

she didn't fall in love until now ( perhaps it will happpen ), so if there is nothing else what she did wrong in

your opinion, you should apologize. I don't say that you have to tell her the whole truth about your reasons fro

beeing mad at her. Telling her of having been in a bad mood for whatever reason would not be a lie. She will

understand it ( if she feels that you are sincere and not playing stupid games and tactics ). Perhaps you could even

tell her the whole story. But I think even these two examples of what to say to her are nothing you

need.
You are the onlyperson who knows what is the right thing to do. Listen to your instinct and your

feelings when you are with her. Be open to the signals and trust yourself, then you will know what to say and how

to say it!
If your "special one" has the emotional potential of falling in love with you ( not your tactics and

sayings but you and what you are ), she will do it. But therefor you have to be you at first and show her

your potential, beeing reliabel and sincere! If she has not that potential, then nothing in the world will change

it.
Perhaps clever seducing tactics, body language and certain behaviour ( you got more than enough advice about

that ) will be more successfull. But eventually you want someone feeling appealed to your deeper personality ( which

is the second step after first datings and the more superficial attraction, but as I said, IMO you are simply beyond

that with her) and not your seducing tactics, even if they work.
If she is really your "special one" you will be

successfull and if not :

You can stand up every morning, look into the mirror and think " I fell in love with

this girl, I was myself and didn't hide it. I did the right things and I did what I believed in. She didn't return

my feeling... ok things like that happen... it's hard but I will go on and find my real " special one" ! "

You

can only grow from that experience !!!!
No person in the world, especially not your special one, is worth betraying

or humiliating yourself.
And there is definitely no need to do it!

Good luck and make the best out of it for

you !

Indigo


P.S. Sorry for all the aspic, but I am really that naive !

[Pancho1188]

Moreover, if she

goes wtf, why did you ignore me yesterday (your fault :P), just turn it around. "Why, I didn't think you'd care

that much. Are you saying you're in love with me? Because, that's a shame, you pretty much killed your chances

with me."

I hope people remember that indifferent people won't care if they 'lost' their chances and will

laugh in your face if you accuse them of liking you. I know because I just did it as a joke once and regretted it

immensely shortly afterwards after I got the equivalent of a rejection and didn't even mean it.

-I think you

have a secret admirer.
--(sarcastically) I think you're just projecting. *Laughs*
-What?
--You don't know what

'projecting' is? It's a psychology term. I'll explain it, but remember that I'm just joking. Do not take it

seriously. *Explains projection* (Note: projection is when you project your feelings onto someone else, e.g. saying

someone likes a person when in reality you do)
-*Blushes and Laughs* No, someone likes you and I can guarantee you

it is not me. Sorry, buddy.
--*sigh* (I was just joking...didn't I say that twice because I know you take

things seriously?)

[Yoel]

Oh, and about the "I'm all into

her personality" thing, that's bullshit, you're walking with blinders on! Risen from thy throne of discontent and

go approach some other women NOW! I command you!
I just set you free. Am I the best buddy or what?



Yoel

[Yoel]

I hope people

remember that indifferent people won't care if they 'lost' their chances and will laugh in your face if you

accuse them of liking you. I know because I just did it as a joke once and regretted it immensely shortly afterwards

after I got the equivalent of a rejection and didn't even mean it.

-I think you have a secret admirer.


--(sarcastically) I think you're just projecting. *Laughs*
-What?
--*Explains projection* (Note: projection

is when you project your feelings onto someone else, e.g. saying someone likes a person when in reality you do)


-*Blushes and Laughs* No, someone likes you and I can guarantee you it is not me. Sorry, buddy.




...and I was just joking...

Well, I'd say that happened for two (2) reasons. Let me explain:


reason number 1) you laughed...who ever laughs at his own jokes? come on
and reason number 2) when you have to

"explain" a joke it gets boring altogether, you should have replied something on he lines of 'Oh, I get it: you're

in denial now" and then turn away leaving her wondering

Yoel

PS: I forgot the most important note:

in my suggestion he says "but you can't have me" before she actually has a chance to understand what's going on,

while you gave her plenty of time (explaining it too), like you were expecting some sort of response. While in my

example (yeah, I know, I should buy a thesaurus) he just assumes it, which is funny if delivered well.

[Snoopy]

I hope people

remember that indifferent people won't care if they 'lost' their chances and will laugh in your face if you

accuse them of liking you. I know because I just did it as a joke once and regretted it immensely shortly afterwards

after I got the equivalent of a rejection and didn't even mean it.

-I think you have a secret

admirer.
--(sarcastically) I think you're just projecting. *Laughs*
-What?
--*Explains projection* (Note:

projection is when you project your feelings onto someone else, e.g. saying someone likes a person when in reality

you do)
-*Blushes and Laughs* No, someone likes you and I can guarantee you it is not me. Sorry, buddy.




...and I was just joking...

I've been rejected like that a couple times. It wasn't really fun.. since

I was joking with the person I actually liked .. lol

[DeMoKiLL]

Oh, and about the

"I'm all into her personality" thing, that's bullshit, you're walking with blinders on! Risen from thy throne of

discontent and go approach some other women NOW! I command you!
I just set you free. Am I the best buddy or

what?

Yoel

Actually I am, and have yet to find someone who can even compare.

[Yoel]

Actually I am, and

have yet to find someone who can even compare.

Ok now free your mind. Think about the sea, the forest,

smurfs or whatever. Then think about her personality. I mean HER personality, not what feelings she gives you. Now,

how is it so much better than everything else? I'll go out on a limb here and say you're idolizing her. And now

I'll go back inside cause people is looking at me and pointing.

Yoel

[DeMoKiLL]

Ok, this will be the last

thread ill make before I actually do it which should I do? Should I say I don't know what she is talking about and

act aloof or should I say she was treating me like dirt so I didn't want any of that? I know how to keep her and

how to do everything afterwards but what should I say in response to her saying im angry with her?

[Yoel]

Ok, this will be

the last thread ill make before I actually do it which should I do? Should I say I don't know what she is talking

about and act aloof or should I say she was treating me like dirt so I didn't want any of that? I know how to keep

her and how to do everything afterwards but what should I say in response to her saying im angry with her?

Ok, I'll keep it short and to the point:
Don't go for the dirt comment, cause you'll sound like a little

bitchy baby.
I'm sorry, but i can't really suggest you what words to use, since I'm not sure I understood what

was your reaction...was it like, she came and tried to talk to you and you looked elsewhere and said 'is that a

mosquito buzz I'm hearing'? Cause that sounds almost surreal to me.

Yoel

PS: how old were you two

again anyways?

[DeMoKiLL]

Ok, I'll keep it

short and to the point:
Don't go for the dirt comment, cause you'll sound like a little bitchy baby.
I'm

sorry, but i can't really suggest you what words to use, since I'm not sure I understood what was your

reaction...was it like, she came and tried to talk to you and you looked elsewhere and said 'is that a mosquito

buzz I'm hearing'? Cause that sounds almost surreal to me.

Yoel

PS: how old were you two again

anyways?

hahahahah, Ok, I am in marching band and I sat in the bleachers for a competition (which we made

1st place in) and I was like laughing and just joking around, there was a girl that was like a couple steps up like

saying "we love you" I was having a great old time just laughing talking with my friend next to me, and she was like

a few seats away from me and she like saw me having like a great time, and I wasn't paying any attention to her

(but why should I?). And then on the bus home she kept trying to say hi to me, and I just looked at her and went

back to what I was doing. Then in class I think she wanted to get my attention so she just started talking to me

even though she was at the other side of the room and is like are you mad at me. Then the next day she asks the guy

etc. I didn't really make it seem like I was doing it to be mean or anything like by saying 'is that a mosquito

buzz I'm hearing?'.