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  1. #1
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    Default Asking out a student

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    I need some

    help on this one. Im a TA (teaching assistant) who teachs some intro computer science labs for non majors. I have

    a female student in there that is so jam (not "fine", as in she is sooo "sweet" looking, hard to describe) that she

    makes my skin heat up. I need some advice on a way to ask her out given my situation.

    Im not a professor

    (so I *can* date students), but I am in charge of teaching these labs. I know her name, some of her interests, and

    have talked to her some, but not much. I want to be able to ask her out in a way that doesnt make her uncomfortable

    (being that I am her teacher). I probably dont want to do this during class time, but I dont know where she hangs

    out after class.

    I was thinking about waiting in the hall before she shows up and trying to talk to her

    outside of class, before it starts. But then what do I say? This woman is so.... entrancing that if I had a choice

    between her and the love of my life (Sandra Bullock) that Im afraid Sandra would be outta here.
    Blessed are the cross-eyed, for they shall see God twice.
    Products I own: AE/m, APC/m, NPA/m, TE/m, SPMO, SOE/m, WAGG, Perception, EW, Chikara

  2. #2
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    Wait til after the semester is

    over..then you won't have to worry about a conflict of interest (or an appearance of one).

    just my opinion

  3. #3
    Journeyman
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    You can't be too much older

    than her being only a TA, right?
    I mean, she won't be calling you daddy or anything. LOL

  4. #4
    Kodachrome Forever! Gegogi's Avatar
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    I used to be a grad assistant and

    ran across this dilemma all the time. You must be careful, i.e., be discreet, low key and backoff if she doesn't

    respond. Make a little small talk and get to know her first. Women are smart so she'll notice you're interested.

    Usually the best time to make a move is when you see her around campus. Although I asked out a couple students, it

    was usually the students that asked me out.

    Incidentally, professors can and do date students all the time.

    Where I teach 2/3s of the faculty are married to their former students. Of course in this day and age it is prudent

    to wait until the semester ends before things get serious.
    "I'm just a dirty hornytoad" -Gegogi

  5. #5
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    just think about

    this: what IF she's single at the MOMENT, but YOU wait and WAIT to get your act together, and when you finally get

    the nerves to actually ask her out, she's TAKEN?

    take your chance right now, you may never know. and then

    you'll regret and you'll ask yourself "what if i had asked her out when i could have?"

    Damn, i need to take

    my own adive, i've let plenty of doves fly away

  6. #6
    Phero Pharaoh
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    Don't worry about WHAT IF

    scenarios. So many guys shoot themselves down by obsessing over whether she's single or what if I wait too long,

    etc.

    The best thing you can do is make yourself visible around campus. You need to watch for signs of interest

    from other girls and respond to them. Let this girl see you with the other girls.

    If she wants something to

    happen, she'll arrange to be where you can talk to her.

    Then, don't ASK her out. Just say, "Hey, let's go

    grab a bite to eat. How does Friday's sound?"

  7. #7
    Phero Pharaoh a.k.a.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CollegeStudent
    I know her

    name, some of her interests, and have talked to her some, but not much.
    Do you share any those

    interests? If so, that’d be the obvious place to start.

    I think waiting for her before or after class is too

    much like stalking. I’d go along with Gegogi’s advice.
    Pleasant smiles and friendly small talk are easy

    non-threatening ways to show your interest. If she reciprocates that’s a good sign.
    If I thought somebody was

    entrancing, I’d act entranced around her — stumble over your words as you're giving instructions, give her a DIHL

    if she asks for help, etc. — but that’s just me.
    Give truth a chance.

  8. #8
    Phero Pharaoh
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    I would NOT act entranced

    around her. Guys get nervous enough as it is. Why make yourself look foolish in front of the entire class?

    Just

    relax, be yourself, and let her show you if she is interested. She WILL do that. And your best chance of attracting

    her interest (and any other girl's interest) is to be confident and interesting (which means doing stuff, not

    talking about yourself).

    If she isn't showing any signs of interest, all the voodoo in the world won't make

    her suddenly stop and notice you.

    Just do stuff around campus. Don't focus on one girl. Spending time with

    other girls doesn't mean you're suddenly committed and taken.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Friendly1
    I would

    NOT act entranced around her.
    Thats what I was thinking. She is one of those kinds that are hot but

    either dont know they are hot (hard to believe in her case) or dont try to take advantage of their hotness like alot

    of them do. Shes really friendly with me, smiles and chats with me some during class, but not sure if shes

    interested or just really friendly. I commented on how she wears light yellow shirts alot, saying that pale yellow

    is a color that signifies friendship, she agreed. And she has those teardrop shaped eyes, kinda like the main

    female character in "Meet Joe Black" (she has amazing eyes too). *big sigh* oh my goodness
    Blessed are the cross-eyed, for they shall see God twice.
    Products I own: AE/m, APC/m, NPA/m, TE/m, SPMO, SOE/m, WAGG, Perception, EW, Chikara

  10. #10
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    I would just chat with her very

    briefly around the classroom. Don't drag it out. Just be brief, a little witty if anything comes to mind. Don't

    bury her with compliments, but noticing anything she does which expresses her choices and personality is a good

    thing. Far better than complimenting her on her looks.

    Unless she is throwing herself at you, she is as much a

    long shot as any girl who isn't throwing herself at you. The last thing you want to do is throw yourself at her.

    That just tells her you're too much of a pushover. Some girls would go for that, maybe, but I've only seen it in

    girls who had low self-esteem. A few of them ended up relatively happy with the guys they picked. But there is no

    need to rush anything.

    If she is interested, and if you move around campus, you should run into her. When I was

    in college, that happened to me more than once. If I had known then what I know now, I would have married someone

    different from my ex-wife. I had far more options than I believed (and I picked her out of a field of three girls

    -- probably should have gone with one of the other two, but oh well).

  11. #11
    Journeyman
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    Default Look man.....

    You just have to

    start being attractive!! What women conider an attractive man to be is: deep manly voice (good masculine voice),

    In control, in charge and slow-delibarate and confident movements (but not so slow that it looks like your doing ace

    ventura impression!!). In other words: NOT A BITCH OR WUSSY!
    You know what I mean. also learn to be

    cocky-funny!!! Start making fun of her that she is taking to long to finish her lab. And when she is about to

    finish or the lab is about to end turn around and say that if she doesn't finish " you'll SPANK her ass so hard

    she will be doing physics equations for a week!" jaja she should laugh and give you the "Oh my god, you're so

    bad!" and hit you in the arm. It's funny, it's cocky, it's sexy, and it's naughty all at the same time.
    Do

    things like this all the time that your around her. Keep bust her and at like MAN. A cool MAN!
    for my final

    advice go watch the James Bond movies w/ Peter Brosman (is that his name?) and also watch the movie Top Gun w/ Tom

    Cruise! NOW quickly man! jeje. Peter Brosman has the ultra cool, confident badass self and body language and Tom

    Cruise has the cocky funny.
    Peace!

  12. #12
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Default

    I suggest Remington Steele.

    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  13. #13
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    #1 Be cool and confident around

    her and talk to her here and again and try and build up a semi-relationship of some sort such as between a casual

    aquaitance and a friend but not too much on the friend lines.
    #2 When the semester is over ask her if you can

    reach her sometime to get together over a cup of coffee to discuss something you both have interest in be it the

    class, computers, baseball, horses or whatever.
    #3 follow her lead and see if she gives you her number. If she

    does not simply ask for it towards the end of the conversation to keep "in touch" as you can put it.

    I would

    get to know her in a fun, un-obtrusive type of way and be confident about it first. This up's your chances but as

    said before
    A. Talk to other girls around her but don't make it obvious
    B. Wait till after the

    sememster....it is just a much better situation.
    Happy

  14. #14
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holmes
    I suggest

    Remington Steele.
    I suggest Commander Brock Gonad.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by happyman
    #1 Be cool

    and confident around her and talk to her here and again and try and build up a semi-relationship of some sort such

    as between a casual aquaitance and a friend but not too much on the friend lines.
    #2 When the semester is over

    ask her if you can reach her sometime to get together over a cup of coffee to discuss something you both have

    interest in be it the class, computers, baseball, horses or whatever.
    #3 follow her lead and see if she gives

    you her number. If she does not simply ask for it towards the end of the conversation to keep "in touch" as you can

    put it.

    I would get to know her in a fun, un-obtrusive type of way and be confident about it first. This

    up's your chances but as said before
    A. Talk to other girls around her but don't make it obvious
    B. Wait

    till after the sememster....it is just a much better situation.
    Happy
    I think thats

    gonna be the way to go for me. Thx for all the suggestions guys.
    Blessed are the cross-eyed, for they shall see God twice.
    Products I own: AE/m, APC/m, NPA/m, TE/m, SPMO, SOE/m, WAGG, Perception, EW, Chikara

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