So, are you single?

[CollegeStudent]

Been

thinking this one over. What is a slick way to ask if a woman is single? Its hard to tell when talking to her with

mones on. She may be all flirty and all then all of a sudden "well my boyfriend likes (so and so) as well" (WARNING

WARNING!!!) *thinking* "freaking #$%"

So... whats a slick way of asking if they are single other than "so are

you single?" Heres the only thing I can come up with:

You: Ask her what kinda hobbies she likes
Her:

"Well I like (extreme sport) and (dangerous stuff) so and so.."
You: "Wow, that sounds dangerous, what does your

boyfriend think about that?"
Her: Answer A: "I dont have a boyfriend" Answer B: "He doesnt seem to mind...

blah blah"

But theres GOTTA be a better way to do this. Ive read DYD and NVSC (nonverbal sexual cueing) and

nothing really explains this. Of course, I guess you can take into account that if she IS flirting with you, even

tho she has a boyfriend, that doesnt mean shes not interested in you. She might be ready to leave him... etc. What

do you guys think? Whats a slick way of asking this?

[DCW]

If a women has a boyfriend and she

feels that you are interested in her, she usually mentions him somewhere in the conversation as a way of letting you

know that she is not available.

Then again they're the ones that have a beau but don't mind a little

attention from a fresh face.

DCW

[SweetBrenda]

If a women has a

boyfriend and she feels that you are interested in her, she usually mentions him somewhere in the conversation as a

way of letting you know that she is not available.

Then again they're the ones that have a beau but don't mind

a little attention from a fresh face.

DCW

I like to find out right away without going to

much round the bush.

Plus an easy way to know if someone is or isn't

avaliable is by looking at the fingers. A wedding ring or an engagement ring says more than words.



But there's some people who don't wear their rings when they are out

having a good time so by asking if they have a significant other is the simple way to go and you either make a

decission to stick around or hit the road jack

.

[CollegeStudent]

Sounds good and all, but

whats a slick way of asking?

I mean I had someone the other day say to me "So, are you married?" but that was

a simple mone hit tho.

[Yoel]

The fact is CS, if you ask in a

"slick" way, the woman will totally see through it and you'll come off as a wimp. Harsh reality, no need for a

sixth sense.
Back to helpful suggestions: if you really need to ask (if you say the right things she'll just

bring it up herself), do it directly but with a questioning intonation, like you're thinking of something deep. If

she replies 'Why?' that's not the intonation I was talking about, try again
And for your own sake, be

confident while doing it.

[koolking1]

I would just ask her "are

you dating right now?" If she says no then you can say that you aren't either and you'd like to get to know her

better. If she says "well, I have a boyfriend or husband", then you can either get away from her tactfully or say

to her "if are you looking for greener pastures?"; "I just might be the right guy for you". Then she can take it

any way she wants and you might just get lucky. No matter her response, negative or positive, you will now have

gotten by the unknown and are now in a postion yourself to leave or stay.

[Pancho1188]

You: Ask her what

kinda hobbies she likes
Her: "Well I like (extreme sport) and (dangerous stuff) so and so.."
You: "Wow, that

sounds dangerous, what does your boyfriend think about that?"
Her: Answer A: "I dont have a boyfriend" Answer B:

"He doesnt seem to mind... blah blah"

If you're looking for subtlety, a woman will see right through this.

While I was reading this, I thought of how someone would say that line, and all I heard was this tone that just

shouts "I'm testing the waters to see if I can hit on you!!!"

I agree that you might just want to ask

straight-up, but as the reigning king of subtlety I have to think of something witty.

Before I start, I have to

admit that this is a tough one...

I say it depends on the circumstances. If you talk to this person on a regular

basis, I say ask her how her weekends are shaping up for two weeks. She will mention the boyfriend eventually. He's

always there.

If it's within the first couple times you meet like at the gym or something...you could try to

work relationships into the conversation if you want to play it cool...I have a friend who's married...I bring him

up from time to time about his "married life" and stuff...you could always ask them how they feel about the whole

thing and see if a bf steps into the picture...but that's again more of a subject for a second conversation instead

of the first, "Hi, I'm Pancho..." one.

As for one-shot deals...

For a sneaky approach, you could always

make some comment of your own availability and see if she bites.

Her: So what do you do/what's your major (if

in college)?
Him: Well, I work for a research firm. We do all of our testing on baby seals...
Her: Oh, that's

interesting. How do you like that?
Him: Well, you know how it is being a single, early 20's guy at an entry-level

position. You're always trying to move up the corporate ladder or move on to bigger and better things elsewhere.

What about you? (You could push the envelope by repeating yourself, "How is it being a single, early 20's girl..."

and see if she gives up the goods: "Well, you know my boyfriend and I are actually going to join Green Peace and

stop testing on baby seals...")

Hmmm...other ideas...

Talk about your living situation.

"I live by

myself in Midtown. I live in one of those basement units with my own door on the ground floor...You could say I have

a G-Unit...what about you?"

Talk about some stupid thing your friend's doing in a relationship...but that's a

hard one to work in a conversation...

"Yeah, my buddy's here with his girlfriend. She's a nice girl. They met

recently and really hit it off. They actually started carjacking together. It's really a romantic experience. You

should try it sometime."

Seriously, though, you could bring it up and see if she 'bites' or relates to a

similar experience.

Best one: Compliment her (doesn't have to be looks, could be personality) and say how she

could get any guy she wanted and see if she bites. That's putting yourself out on a limb, but you could try.



"So how's life at Penn State? Macking it, I'm sure. You probably have a baseball bat to keep the guys away...it

might even be blood-stained from the one time that guy randomly proposed to you and you had to break out the pepper

spray and lay the smack down..."

Forgive the exaggerations for effect. I know this sounds a little dumb and you

may think, "I'll get creamed," but when you compliment someone who's interested in you, they blush or turn red or

whatever and don't think about what you're saying but instead focus on themselves like, "Awww, no, I'm not doing

anything like that... *blush*" or, "Yeah, I wish..." People like hearing about themselves...especially when they're

interested in you. Again, I hope you've been talking to this person for 5 minutes. If you came out with that,

you'd be screwed, but people usually soften up after a few minutes and start to become interested in you.





Hard question. I will ponder this to see if I think of anything better than what I can come up in 3 minutes while

typing this.

[TRock]

i agree with dcw. she tell you, if

you're doing things right or just ask her straight up. beating around the bush means she'll perceive you as scared

and a wuss. when i talk to some girls they just ask me straight up if i have a girlfriend, if they don't have a

problem doing that guys shouldn't either.

[bjf]

1. Are you single?
2. " "

available?
3. " " seeing anyone?
4. Do you want to get a pizza and fuck?

[Holmes]

Boyfriend?

[Pancho1188]

How about, "Do you want to do

something this weekend/tomorrow/next week/tonight/after dinner/before we die in a cold, lonely pit of despair?" If

she says yes and doesn't have a boyfriend, you have yourself a date. If she says yes and has a boyfriend, you just

made a new friend. If she says, "I have a boyfriend," you could just say you simply wanted to go see Deathblow

and needed a movie buddy without expecting anything other than that. Maybe she'll say yes or maybe she won't.

In any case, you win. If she says no, then she probably will mention something about being busy or whatever. Take it

as her being busy next week and move on. How hard is that?

I find that to be a lot easier than asking if she

has a boyfriend because when you ask that it's too, "I want to ask you out." Actually just asking to go do

something is less in-your-face, in my opinion...and I'm saying this because it's worked the past couple of times

I've used it.

[koolking1]

Pancho, why so

complicated?

[Tiger4]

Been

thinking this one over. What is a slick way to ask if a woman is single? Its hard to tell when talking to her with

mones on. She may be all flirty and all then all of a sudden "well my ...boyfriend likes (so and so) as well"

(WARNING WARNING!!!) *thinking* "freaking #$%"

So... whats a slick way of asking if they are single other than

"so are you single?" Heres the only thing I can come up with:

You: Ask her what kinda hobbies she likes
Her:

"Well I like (extreme sport) and (dangerous stuff) so and so.."
You: "Wow, that sounds dangerous, what does your

b...oyfriend think about that?"
Her: Answer A: "I dont have a boyfriend" Answer B: "He doesnt seem to mind... blah

blah"

But theres GOTTA be a better way to do this. Ive read DYD and NVSC (nonverbal sexual cueing) and nothing

really explains this. Of course, I guess you can take into account that if she IS flirting with you, even tho she

has a boyfriend, that doesnt mean shes not interested in you. She might be ready to leave him... etc. What do you

guys think? Whats a slick way of asking this?

Just out right ask her if she's married. The only stupid

question is the one not asked.

[Bruce]

You could turn it into a compliment

of sorts, assuming you have been chatting long enough to really feel this way: "I guess there's not much chance a

woman as nice as you is still available."

B

[DCW]

In conversation you might

try.

"Your boyfriend is so lucky to have someone like you, I hope he is treating you well".

That way

you leave the door open in case he's a louse and not keeping her happy.



DCW

[Yoel]

I don't like at all some of the

suggestions I'm reading here (no offense to anyone, just my style) but I have an exam coming soon so I really have

no time now to elaborate on that.
I'll write something near the end of the week.

[Pancho1188]

Pancho, why

so complicated?

Because "Do you have a boyfriend?" doesn't seem to be the approach he wants to take. He

wanted to be slick about it...You can either tell him, "Ask her if she has a boyfriend," a hundred times or come up

with something that suits his style if he doesn't want to do it that way...

Everything is easier said than

done...so I explain things in great detail to people who don't get it until they either get it or they realize that

I made it sound so complicated that they go nuts and settle for the simple explanation.

Note about

Pancho: everything I say is simple just explained like it's complicated because it's me.

-Do you want to do

something?
--Sure.
-Okay.

That's all I was saying to do. Notice it took me a whole paragraph to say that.

[camusflage]

4. Do you want to

get a pizza and fuck?

Care to elaborate on your successes with this one? I've found it works best

when followed up by the inevitable incredulous response (good) or slap (bad) with "What, you don't like

pizza?"

Seriously though, if she hasn't made her status known in five minutes, either she's hiding it

because she doesn't want you to know she's involved, she's testing you to see if you're interested enough to

ask, or she's so uninterested in you she doesn't care for you to know. Best to be direct in all those cases,

unless you're not looking for something more than friend or physical.

[Mtnjim]

Anyone ever hear of the K. I. S. S.

rule (Keep It Simple Stupid)??

"Are you currently single?"

Clean, simple, straight to the point, no

ambiguity!

Or is that too simple, 'cause it works for me!

[Pancho1188]

Anyone ever hear

of the K. I. S. S. rule (Keep It Simple Stupid)??

"Are you currently single?"

Clean, simple, straight to the

point, no ambiguity!

Or is that too simple, 'cause it works for me!

Many people who frequent this

forum have problems with rejection or blunt confrontation...hello, it's a product to make girls fall all over

you!!!

Seriously, though...The reason why anyone would ask this question, unless they really

needed to be told, "Do you have a boyfriend" or, "Are you currently single?", is that they know that asking if they

are available is like asking them out and them saying no is like a rejection or a loss or whatever. Most people

want to avoid that. I know I do...

I'm waiting for the more aggressive people on the forum (remember the

days?) to say, "Suck it up. Ask them and get it over with. Don't be a *#@!$."


Suck it up. Ask them and

get it over with. Don't be a *#&!$.

Pancho - Trying to help the less confident since 1982.

[Friendly1]

Boyfriends are expendable and

replaceable. If she is interested in you, then don't worry about whether she has a boyfriend. When the time

comes, she'll either tell you or not.

Most girls under 21 have boyfriends anyway. It's more than just a

status symbol. If they have a large family or a lot of friends, a boyfriend is almost a required accessory because

they need someone to be "with" them at big functions like weddings, graduations, etc.

As the girls move into

their twenties, their likelihood of having a boyfriend decreases (in part because a lot of girls marry their high

school boyfriends and take themselves out of the running).

I have a LOT of nieces. They ALL have some sort of

guy (well, the ones who have hit puberty, anyway). They either latch onto some guy while they are still in their

teens, and they do their damndest to tame and marry him, or they change boyfriends like bad underwear.

So, all

you guys who worry about the boyfriends, STOP DOING THAT. You're just cutting down your chances of meeting Miss

Right (or whatever it is you're looking for). The boyfriends don't own these girls. They can decide for

themselves if they want to trade up or rent a scooter for the weekend.

They make that choice all the time

anyway. So, why rule yourselves out of the equation? Most of you guys seem to be in the age range where

boyfriendless girls are scarce. You either have to go after the older women, the younger girls (possibly illegal

for you), or the girls who haven't yet decided the current model boyfriend is Mister Right.

A lot of boyfriends

are just placeholders. They may start out with potential, but a lot of guys discredit themselves with their girls

and end up getting dumped. And many, perhaps most, of them never figure out why.

[CollegeStudent]

Thanks guys, lots of good

posts and suggestions. I like Pancho's "compliment" one and a few of his others. My reasoning for being slick is

partially avoiding rejection, after all Im not asking her out (yet) just seeing if shes single. The other part is

that even though it doesnt really matter is she does have a boyfriend, Im more comfortable "working" on someone who

is currently single, than trying to get them away from their current boyfriend. Mostly because its possible their

current boyfriend is a 250 pound football player and he didnt take too kind heartedly that I stole his girl Id

like to keep my bones intact. Im a lover, not a fighter

[ManBeast]

Awesome post Friendly1. I

couldn't have said it more concisely myself. Thanks for saving me the effort!

MB

[Gegogi]

I've asked, she said she was

single and, after getting deeply involved, found out she had a husband a couple months later! He just happened to be

deployed overseas for a year and gave me a real shock upon his return. So maybe do a background check before things

get too serious (public records for marriage, criminal history, etc.).

[CptKipling]

Like Friendly and DCW said, if

they don't tell you they are attached, keep flirting.

At the end of the day it's her responsibility to tell

you.

[TRock]

good post friendly.

[Friendly1]

...My

reasoning for being slick is partially avoiding rejection, after all Im not asking her out (yet) just seeing if shes

single....

You're revealing your lack of confidence, though. One of the first tests you have to pass in her

book is appearing to be confident.

While you can't do anything about a woman who refuses to be honest with you

about her relationship, other than to walk away once you learn the truth, it IS her responsibility to be honest once

she does tell you if she is involved.

...The other part is that even though it doesnt really matter is

she does have a boyfriend, Im more comfortable "working" on someone who is currently single, than trying to get them

away from their current boyfriend...

The competition for a single girl will be more fierce.

...Mostly because its possible their current boyfriend is a 250 pound football player and he didnt take too

kind heartedly that I stole his girl Id like to keep my bones intact. Im a lover, not a fighter

You

don't have to be a fighter. Just keep in mind that you don't need to rush anything with a girl until you get to

know her better.

She is always single until she tells you otherwise. If she does tell you otherwise, she MAY be

lying to you (a lot of them do that just to see what you will do).

You have to understand that girls constantly

test guys in every way possible. They don't always do it conciously. But part of the testing could be "I am single"

or "I have a boyfriend".

You cannot tell what she wants or what she is like by finding out if she has a

boyfriend. The proof is in the pudding, as they say.

That is, if she wants to be with YOU, you're in. Then you

just need to figure out if SHE is a keeper, because once you get in, most of them start agonizing over whether YOU

are a keeper.

I assure you, I have seen this happen more often than you can imagine. Girls are vicious,

conniving, calculating competitors when it comes to men. If they think they have a serious shot at upgrading, most

of them will give it consideration. You just have to make sure you want to BE her upgrade.

[DrSmellThis]

No need asking. The way a

woman handles the issue will give you valuable information. I find that asking her who she lives with, who she's

"here with", what she does with her time, asking about her friends, and/or talking about relationships usually gets

the information out. If not, she doesn't want you to know -- a blessing, and a signal to move ahead. As Kip says,

it's not your responsibility to know. You'll know in time to make relationship decisions unless she's hiding.

[Yoel]

You're revealing

your lack of confidence, though. One of the first tests you have to pass in her book is appearing to be confident.



[...]

You have to understand that girls constantly test guys in every way possible. They don't

always do it conciously. But part of the testing could be "I am single" or "I have a boyfriend".

[...]



If they think they have a serious shot at upgrading, most of them will give it consideration. You just have to

make sure you want to BE her upgrade.

Ok, I'm done with my exam and I'm back as I promised
And I

find this PURE gold from Friendly1, this is all awesome I tell you.

I left something out just because I

wanted to underline the main point.
TESTS. (now that's becoming like a recurring nightmare isn't it?)
Being

"slick" is the best way to ruin your game altogether,since you are basically telling her: I'm a wuss who can't

even ask a simple question because I fear what you will think of me.

Girls test you continuously, and the

better way to pass almost every test is being confident as hell. It's a feeling that builds inside yourself to the

point where YOU become the test-er and SHE becomes the test-ed (role shift here). You have to FEEL it. Do you want

to be HER upgrade? Is she worthy of your time? Once the shift happens (not a pun) for real, she will FEEL it too.

Next thing you know, no more tests are coming.

I know this sounds like a shitty commercial, but I really

believe in what I'm saying.