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  1. #1
    Full Member lordcrazyd's Avatar
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    Default Question about body language

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    I know

    there are many books concerning this subject, but is there a way to learn this subconciously. I mean sure i can read

    signs and such but how do i learn it for myself. in other words how can learn body language and use it in a

    conversation. It seems so weird if i try that i bet most women can see right through it. I dunno anyone have any

    suggestions. I noticed that usually when i speak no one pays attention. I believe its because i have about 0% body

    language... its very frustrating..

  2. #2
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    That's a tough one. The way you

    move, gesture and hold yourself is the result of a lot of practise and conditioning. I've seen many references

    stating that learning a new habit takes about 3-4 weeks, so I guess you could fake it until it becomes a natural

    part of who you are.

    I tried this with my voice. I've grown up speaking quite quietly, mumbling and not

    wanting to attract too much attention. I've had to force myself consciously to get my tonality right, which seemed

    quite unnatural at first, but came along quite nicely after a while. I was amazed at the difference in peoples

    reaction to you just by talking clearly, slower, and with a little more volume of air. I also find I get ignored

    less.

    Next thing I need is to learn to smile without looking patronising or an axe murderer. That one's

    proving a little tougher

    Have you tried mirroring then leading for creating rapport?

  3. #3
    Full Member lordcrazyd's Avatar
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    i've used mirroring and its

    not bad, i can easily mimic eye contact and body movements. Even sometimes repeat what they say. Besides that i'm

    just a slug sitting down. My dad has great body language, and i don't. I use to make fun of everyone who spoke with

    their hands but now it seems that these people get the most attention. Its like who cares what he's saying he

    basically shows you whats he's saying. I wish i had that power. I guess this is due because i used to be very shy

    but now i'm outgrowing it but i don't think i can learn this conciously its to embarrasing and difficult.




    btw
    i'm at the school library as we speak. and while i'm reading the forum. Anyway this girl walked right

    behind me stopped looked at me paused and sat to the computer next to me. It was a strange look like wtf did i just

    do look lol.


    Oh also i have that same look. Some girls say i have a creepy smile. That sometimes they can't

    tell if its evil or friendly. I stated before that i just have one of those natural pissed off faces. Its a real

    disadvantage but i doubt i'm getting any plastic surgeory to correct it. Maybe i'll get botox and have a

    permanant smile.

  4. #4
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    Shiver, any books or resources on the

    net you used to learn about vocal tonality and voice stuff?

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    Quote Originally Posted by lordcrazyd
    btw
    i'm at

    the school library as we speak. and while i'm reading the forum. Anyway this girl walked right behind me stopped

    looked at me paused and sat to the computer next to me. It was a strange look like wtf did i just do look

    lol.
    Do you have any mones on right now? or is this a body language issue?

    Quote Originally Posted by lordcrazyd
    Oh also

    i have that same look. Some girls say i have a creepy smile. That sometimes they can't tell if its evil or

    friendly. I stated before that i just have one of those natural pissed off faces. Its a real disadvantage but i

    doubt i'm getting any plastic surgeory to correct it. Maybe i'll get botox and have a permanant smile.
    When

    I was 12 or 13years old I had a bike accident that chipped one of my front teeth. The dentist wouldn't do anything

    with it because he said the tooth wasn't mature enough to cap it. I was very self conscious of it and *never* ever

    smiled because of it until I could get it fixed as a 16y/o. I often wondered if this influenced the facial muscles.

    Recently though I was speaking to my mum who is now in her late 60's, and she says that she's had the same thing

    all her life, where people would say things like 'cheer up, It might never happen' - several times a day, when she

    was actually feeling very happy.

    BJF: I don't have any specific resources. I just learned the importance of

    tonality from the days when I used to trawl the ASF type sites. The only one I pay any attention to now though is

    DYD.
    Last edited by Shiver; 09-07-2004 at 08:14 AM. Reason: Typo

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    ASF?
    DYD?

    Thanks

  7. #7
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    ASF: Alt.Seduction.Fast
    DYD:

    www.DoubleYourDating.com

  8. #8
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    Thank you

  9. #9
    Phero Pharaoh
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    You need to stand up straight

    when you speak if you want to project your best voice. Consciously pulling your shoulders back helps you open up,

    believe it or not.

    I have actually had some interesting silent conversations with women through body language.

    When I am in a large crowd for any length of time, I pick a woman and start to mirror her body language.

    Eventually, if she has noticed me in any way, she'll generally start to mirror mine in return. I make no effort on

    these target practice occasions to try to talk to the women. I just build a silent rapport with them and move on

    when whatever brought us there is over.

    The first time I tried this was during a movie. But I have done it in

    restaurants, at the grocery store, and in other settings.

    Sometimes, if I do want to say something to a girl,

    and if she seems very closed, I'll walk up to her, mirror whatever she is doing, and then exaggerate it. So, if

    she is standing with her arms crossed, I will cross mine and put on a mean expression, making a big deal out of it.

    Most of the time, the girl will laugh and open up. Then I will mirror her next stance, and so on. It doesn't

    always work, but it often works on strangers.

    It sometimes works on nieces, too. Very useful tool for when the

    younger relatives get frustrated with the dirty old uncle who flirts with all the girls.

  10. #10
    Stranger Ravn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiver
    ASF:

    Alt.Seduction.Fast
    DYD: www.DoubleYourDating.com
    So I

    clicked your little link there. and to me it seems like this guy's just after my hard earned cash! I do not trust

    sites like that... Does this stuff really work? Or is it all talk and I pay?

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ravn
    So I clicked your

    little link there. and to me it seems like this guy's just after my hard earned cash! I do not trust sites like

    that... Does this stuff really work? Or is it all talk and I pay?
    I think the monthly interview

    DVD's are fantastic as are the advanced CD/DVD sets, but the e-book I'm only lukewarm about (it was the first

    thing he ever wrote several years back).

    My advice would be not to spend anything and instead sign up to the

    weekly email. It's a kind of Q&A format from customers and non customers alike. I know its real because I've

    written to it myself a couple of times and had them appear.

    I think somewhere on the site there are some sample

    video and mp3's to give you an idea of the content. Of course this isn't the only show in town and there are

    plenty of competing products that are worth exploring.

  12. #12
    Phero Enthusiast phersurf's Avatar
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    I'm hearing very good things

    about the DYD advanced series.

    I currently use with great success (which I talked abut in detail in the other

    body language thread) Nonverbal Sexual Cuing.

    It will also set you back some $$.

  13. #13
    Stranger Ravn's Avatar
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    Thanx guys! I might just try this

    stuff out...

    No harm in trying anyway. It isn't THAT expensive.

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