Reply With QuoteThe number of times I have been
dense like that are too numerous to list... and that's just since I've gotten to college!
MB
Hindsight is 20/20
Friendly1's thread, "So, you're NOT getting any hits with
the pheromones?," and specifically the statement below reminded me of a missed
opportunity:
Originally Posted by Friendly1
This was pre-pheromone days, the late 1970s. I was in my late teens, working at a movie
theatre. We had a staff meeting before work and as we all stood around the manager, one girl bumped my arm with her
breast. Thinking it was an accident, I moved away, only to be bumped again a few seconds later. I, being a dummy and
some what shy, again moved away.
A few weeks later, the girl was going out with another usher from the
theatre. They were married a year or two later. She was attractive and her family had money. I still kick myself to
this day thinking that the bumps weren't so much accidental than a signal for some attention, which I realized
after she started dating the other usher.
Anyone else get dense like that, only to realize after it was too
late that that was a signal? Post your stories here if you have them.
The number of times I have been
dense like that are too numerous to list... and that's just since I've gotten to college!
MB
"You are a sick f*ck, but I wouldn't have you any other way."
~Becca
Same here.
If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen
Holmes' Theme Song
While your description is accurate, around here, we like to call it
"getting boobed". I seem to get boobed A LOT when I wear NPA.. That would be why I don't wear NPA to work anymore.
Been there, done that, kicked
myself in the face so many times I've learned to pick my nose with my toes.
WASSUP!!!!!
When I was a teenager, I was
sitting at a piano with a gorgeous, sexually active girl. I reached over to play something in a higher octave and
felt her breast rub against my arm. I apologized and she said, "It wasn't an accident." Now, I ain't going into
the story about that girl. It's too long. Fortunately, I didn't marry her. But that was an eye-opening
experience for a then inexperienced boy.
When you get a headlight moment from a girl (or woman), unless she is
really off-balance, I don't believe it's accidental. They want you to know they are interested and perhaps a
little turned on. Or, sometimes they may just be teasing. We're not allowed to reach out and grab a handful, but
they're allowed to lean in and give us a massage.
Accept what comes, don't cry about the rules.
It's a case of you never know. Some
of them do it on purpose, but as happens in crowded bars and clubs, even guys, girls and animals will bump into you.
Accidental or not, you can always use it as an opportunity to get some conversation started.
Some guys even bump into me on purpose. Usually that's when I notice my wallet is missing.
Life is all about choices: "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
The fact that everyone is inhebriated
and isn't walking straight doesn't help. Especially the darker places where you can't hear or see as well.
At the same time, some women definitely do it intentionally.
I think every one of us has
had the frustrating experience of saying the words, "How did I miss that?" ... live and learn, sometimes very
slowly ...
Sometimes if you miss it the
first time, you don't want to cross analyze it later. It can be very painful.
WASSUP!!!!!
I figured out yet another one
today...
MB
"You are a sick f*ck, but I wouldn't have you any other way.
~Becca
This type of thing has
happened to me hundreds of times, at least; but it is also "the woman's" error. If "she" was truly interested in me
she failed to get my attention. I was no more stupid than the next guy, so whatever mating rituals that may have
"half-happened" were impractically executed.
We live in a culture of isolation. It is not just men's fault.
There are no real universal, efficient ways for people to hook up.
Remember Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
[img]http://web.utk.edu/~gwynne/hierarchy.gi
f[/img]
There are too many fundamental physical and survival issues everywhere for people to be concerned
about sexual relations. It has often been this way on the earth, of course -- but rarely for the whole human race.
What is also unique is that indiscriminate procreation is now a hindrance to the survival of humans. Procreation has
ceased to be the solution to global survival crises it was in the past. If population-related survival crises abate,
on the other hand, people will again get into procreating. The required pheromones will be in the atmosphere for all
to smell. In the mean time, we just have to do what we can.
Last edited by DrSmellThis; 08-24-2004 at 02:07 AM.
DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)
I'm not sure what this has to
do with anything, so excuse my ramblings:
I disagree with this...I actually think that
it's the opposite in many cases. You know those "spoiled brats" we talk about all of the time who have it so good
and never had to worry about basic necessities like food and shelter? In fact, the number one reason
children/teenagers cite as the reason for having sex, doing drugs, and committing other inappropriate acts is
"Boredom". Think about that. Since the first two needs are almost guaranteed to the new generation in the US, they
need to find other ways to keep themselves occupied. Love is the next stop on there, which I would include sex in
there somewhere. Love on the hierarchy includes belonging, etc., so people will do crazy things from peer pressure
or just to do something with friends to be part of a group. Since a teenager's self-esteem is far from developed
and is very fragile, I'd say that they are stuck on the third level for most of that period. That being said, I
think sex becomes a big part.
However, you may be referring to later time periods, for instance mine where I
need to work to have food and shelter, thus putting my love life on the 'back-burner' so to speak. In that
respect, I'd agree, but since I have food and shelter, I would also say that I'm more on the third level as well,
and I'd take any shot I could get at forming a love relationship.
I think I'm off the mark on what DST was
getting at, so I'll try to circle back. I think the "cultural isolation" pretty much sums it up. People are bred
to be independent and self-sufficient, and the work environment and world has become so inpersonal that you can't
even touch someone without being afraid of getting sued. Women can't go after guys because they might be seen as
slutty or might find a bad seed and get hurt or something. In this society, it's just hard for people to get
together because everyone has to look out for #1 and people are so focused on their own lives and how to get through
that they don't have time to let someone else in as it costs time, money, effort, and potential danger such as
having children you can't afford to raise or getting weird diseases or meeting a psycho or something.
Just like
children, relationships have become much more of a burden than a gift (looking at it from one perspective), and if
it weren't for that inherent need to breed, people definitely wouldn't be getting together as often as they do.
I'm not sure what this has to do with anything, but I was just trying to help people out who think that they make
all kinds of mistakes. The point is that, as DST said, it's getting harder and harder to meet people in this
isolated society. In addition, I believe that there's an unspoken pressure on women to be independent, and since
they are more of the 'choosers' rather than the 'pursuers' when it comes to relationships and mating, they have
this ability to hold off on that sort of thing as long as they need to when finding the right person. Therefore, if
you miss their signals that they may or may not even be aware they're giving, they move on.
Moral of the story:
Don't smack yourself for missing a potential opportunity. Life is hard in this new society. You'll eventually
click with someone. It just takes a helluva lot longer than before because of all of the new problems.
Not necessarily.
Otherwise, good post.
If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen
Holmes' Theme Song
If you miss an opportunity, it
IS your fault for missing it, not the other person's. Men fail to take responsibility for their actions all the
time nowadays. The girl is not obligated to throw herself at every man who comes her way. In fact, so many girls
are hit on by men all the time, most of them never HAVE to come on to a guy -- not if all they want is a guy on
their arm.
When a girl comes on to you, and she is attractive, she is opening a door -- maybe only just to slam
it in your face, but maybe because she thinks you stand out. If you don't see what is happening, it's not her
fault.
We don't teach boys how to flirt, how to court, or how to be a man. Not in the United States. That's
the bottom line.
Now, since here in the US we don't normally marry our daughters off at 12 or 14, it's okay to
repress the boys' flirting skills for a few years. But if the boys don't pick up the tricks in high school or
college, they find themselves out in the real world with nothing to fall back on.
I would say at least half the
guys I know are like that, if not more. Many of them have had few satisfactory relationships. I have a group of
friends from college who have been married for years, but if their marriages ended today, they would be lost. I run
into older guys all the time who leer at young women and girls, who try to come on to them with no tact or class
whatsoever, and who generally do everything wrong and everything possible to give credence to the Dirty Old Man
stereotype.
I was sitting in a hospital cafeteria this weekend and a couple of teenage girls walked in. They
were wearing t-shirts and shorts. One of them looked really cute, so I watched her as I finished my lunch. Then I
noticed an old man, maybe 70 years old, had caught sight of the girls. Now, the older girl looked like she MIGHT
have been flirting with me just a little, but she quickly closed up on me. The old man slowly focused all his
attention on them. He ended up leering at her in classic fashion. Suddenly, I understood how that can creep a girl
out.
I'm not about to smack myself over some teenage girl. But I do say it's important for guys to look back
and see where they did miss opportunities.
If you don't learn from your mistakes, you'll continue to make
them. And if you don't take responsibility for your mistakes, you'll never learn from them.
I agree with your comment. Many people wonder if they're going to
live through the night or whatever because of crime, violence, paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle, war on terror,
disease, etc. I figured that I'm not speaking to that type of crowd in this post, though. I made the assumption
that people who could spend disposable income on -mones could support themselves and have a decent place to lay
their heads relatively safely.
Good comment.
That's why we have internet dating sites !!!!
And the dating sites are specialized too. You can choose anything you want from pure, no excuses pay to
play venues such as theeroticreview.com that has an extensive review database, some that offer psychological
compatibility testing, including one that I was astounded to see performed criminal background checks on its
members... sort of a USDA approval stamp... then you have you free form love-lust-marriage partner spots like
lavalife.com
Although they are engineered to specific interests they all have simplification of the hook up
process in common. It would be impossible to know that much about 300-400 potential connections through the
traditional dating process.
Flirting skills are giving way to writing skills. He or She who communicates best
gets the goodies. It is as if there has been an unspoken revolution in how you find you significant and
semi-significant others.
The level of this technology is crude although it will certainly grow to be
radically more sophisticated within 5 years as entrepreneurs learn what works and what doesn't work.
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