Originally Posted by
Friendly1
Bruce,
forgive me for saying this. I know new guys come into the forums all the time. But I have to get this off my
chest.
I keep seeing posts from teenagers and guys in their early twenties. They have no confidence with women.
That's typical. It's normal. It's okay.
But you have to get the confidence SOME TIME, guys. And you won't
find any magic powders either here or elsewhere that give you the confidence.
You just have to go make mistakes
and learn from them. The more you try, the easier it becomes. I am not saying go get used to rejection. I am saying,
go to talk to girls you have never seen before. Just say "Hi". The ones who want to talk to you will let you know.
Use the pheromones to help them open up. Use the good colognes to make yourselves more interesting.
I have
seen a lot of crap posted by young, inexperienced guys over the past couple of weeks. I have been there. I used to
dream up these wacky schemes, too. They don't work.
What works is simply walking up to a girl and saying, "Hi.
What's your name?"
I met my ex-wife that way. In fact, I met a lot of ex-girlfriends, friends, and whatevers
that way. I meet a LOT of people that way.
The ones you agonize over, the ones you want to be perfect for, the
ones you fantasize about -- you're never going to do anything with them. Why? Because you put so much effort into
planning the perfect come on you never give yourself a chance to just get to know her.
Pheromones won't change
you. They won't prevent you from making dumb mistakes. They MAY help mask the smaller mistakes. They MAY give you
time to recover from momentary lapses of sanity.
They WILL give you opportunities to practice meeting, talking
with, and getting to know girls. That is what you need to do.
Don't try to impress them. They really couldn't
care less about how impressive you want to be.
If you're a young guy, you are being evaluated by every young
girl as a potential boyfriend (and eventually as a potential husband). Most of the time, you never make the cut and
you don't even know it. If a girl has shown interest in you, she has already put you ahead of dozens of other
guys.
Use that knowledge to your advantage. Draw confidence from the fact that she DID choose to look at you,
smile at you, say hello to you, touch you. Girls have to worry about attracting creeps and dangerous guys. They only
do these things for the ones they are wiling to take the small risk of getting to know a little better.
Learn to
ignore the girls who don't send you these signals. They are NOT interested in you, and there is no system in the
world that will change their minds for them.
When a girl looks at you, smiles, says "Hi", touches you, she is
telling you in her way, "I think you may be interesting. Please prove to me that my judgement is good."
And how
do you do that? By showing her that you are NOT self-obsessed, that you are NOT afraid to talk with her, and that
you DO have some control over yourself, and that you ARE interested in her enough to want to get to know her.
And now that I have said that, knowing that is what older guys used to tell me when I was young, I know none of
you will listen to the advice or heed it. I didn't. I had to learn it for myself, the hard way.
But, damn, I
wish those old guys hadn't been so right.
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