Reply With Quote"i just want to know what i did
incase i have a similar situation."
You acted like a friend !!
how did we become friends
last semster i
was driving this girl to school from her house. i known her for like 4 months prior, never really went on a date b/c
this is college and we don't date. she wasn't my number 1 choice either because there were other girls i was
trying to mess with. i knew and basically the whole group friends that hung out together knew she liked me so
i kept her in my pocket for a rainy day. so as i'm driving her home i tell her i don't want to go to campus yet,
let's go do something else. we figured a place to go, but never went b/c i was dress for the place (sandals and
sweats). so she suggested going back to my room and then she told me she was gonna sleep over too. so i figure i'm
gonna hit it. well after we watched a movie, as we're lying in bed she says we're just friends. so i tell her off
but also do some simping in the process. i asked a bunch of my female friends and gotten so many different
explanations anywhere from she wasn't ready to she was testing me. i wouldn't mind seeing a few more explanations
from anybody willing to give their opinions. and for the record i'm not stuck on this girl, i just want to know
what i did incase i have a similar situation.
"i just want to know what i did
incase i have a similar situation."
You acted like a friend !!
Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
--Lazarus Long
I think that'si known her for like 4
months prior...i...knew she liked me so i kept her in my pocket for a rainy day.
your answer right there, TRock. Not in so many words...and pun intented...but I think she had you down to a T. You
either waited too long or she knows that you're trying to mack it and she doesn't want a "hit it and quit it" kind
of thing. The only reason she'd say that to test you would be to see if you'd be willing to be friends and not
hook up with her, which proves my second theory. Apparently, she was right if you told her off afterwards. I don't
buy the "wasn't ready" bit.
I agree with MJ on the friends thing ("waited too long"), but I also believe that
she was protecting herself ("knows you're trying to mack it"), and I think she did the right thing if she expected
more than you were offering.
If you want a moral to the story or whatever, it's to let it be. Would you rather
have 'hit that' and had this horrible situation where she wanted more and you didn't? Think about it. You're
better off, and so is she.
Again, this is all conjecture from the limited information I am provided.
PS:
No one likes to feel like the "second choice" or the "not Ms. Right but Ms. Right Now"
Couldn't have said it better myself.Originally Posted by Pancho1188
I agree with MtnJim. Based on
what little you say about that night, I think you could have had her. Or, at the very least, you could have (and
probably should have) refused to let her stay the night if that was all she really wanted. You take intimacy to bed
and you take friends home.
Is that because you couldn't have said itCouldn't have said it better myself.
yourself.....
TRock, I don't think it's because you came off as a friend. I think it's
because she was just testing you, you were supposed to say. "Friends? Not if I have something to say about it", then
you should have made your move maybe rub her thighs or slap her on her bottom. Come on mate she wanted it. Don't
think I am speaking bollocks either.
She was waiting, you're a super cool guy in college, if you look like
Ashton Kutcher or Nick Cannon that helps out even more.
oh yeah, you can believe i tried that. i thought i did everything right.
cocky and funny, some girl i met the night before played with my voicemail message. i knew she was gonna call me the
next day so i didn't bother rerecording my voicemail message until i knew she heard it.
the reason i bring this
up is because school starts up in a week. we hang out in the same crowd, i'm just hoping my friends don't find out
about this. to them this was a guaranteed girl for me. i'll never hear the end of it.
Big mistake.
how so? i never told anybody i
wanted a relationship. the reason we met was because we went to a conference at another school and a few of the
girls from other schools weren't making it a secret that they wanted me.
From a female perspective....she
thought you were friends, pure and simple. She thought she'd found another great friendship, and I'd say you blew
that and any hopes of hooking up with her. I don't mean to be mean, but I don't think it was a test, I don't
think she was yanking your chain. I think she just wanted friendly male companionship, and that's what you led her
to believe she had for 4 months.
Bindy
yeah but the thing is i knew that
she liked me (i'm a pretty good looking guy). i only hung put with her a few times that whole 4 months and none of
those times i set it up to hang out with her. it just happens when a group of friends hangout. she was chasing me
and i just sat back let it happen, i never chased her (she didn't meet my standards for me to put any effort in).
that's why i'm so confused about why i didn't it that night. i'm so way out of her league looks wise and social
wise.
This was basically brought up by others before, but she probably
picked up on the fact that you think that. Not many women will go for that, for a number of different reasons.
Apparently, though, she can go toe-to-toe with anyone on common
sense and intuition...
Honestly, I think she did the right thing (as in what was right for her)...but that's
just me.
If you're so "out of her league",
then she probably wouldn't chase you. Either she lacks self confidence or she doesn't find you as attractive as
you find yourself. More often than not women don't chase men who are obviously out of their league. What's the
point in heading down a dead end? More often the case is that men think women are "chasing" them, when it's meant
to be innocent flirting, which friends do with each other. Maybe you were reading her wrong. My question is, if
you are out of her league, why did you want to sleep with her anyway? Did you just want to have a one night stand?
Maybe she sensed that, and didn't want that kind of attention.
Bindy
b/c as a guy i will have sex with
anything unless she is butt ugly. she is a 6 in my opinion. so are you saying brad pitt doesn't have every woman
wanting him? i'm not saying i'm brad pitt, but i always get i'm good looking comments from girls and women. i
constantly see girls checking me out even before mones. i see it for myself because i see how females cashiers treat
other guy customers then i come up and how they treat me. my guy friends see it happen to me all the time and they
comment on it. girls just come out and tell me i'm so cute. so that's how i know i'm good looking. and i have
sisters and female cousins, their friends love me.
the reason i use mones is because i hate rejection. so i
prefer to mess with girls that approach me, i rarely have to approach them. i figure mones will make girls that are
too shy approach me normally, approach me when i have it on. so my game is weak when it comes to girls that don't
approach me.
i don't act like i'm out their league. i keep my arrogance to myself and people that know me.
when a girl approaches me i am always friendly with them. i always give them a chance.
no you're right, she did the right thing. i
hate to admit it.
So do I, man...so do I...
Pheromones don't work that way. The only women who
really come on to me are women who are secure and confident in themselves and ther sexuality. The shy girls get
excited and nervous, but they don't just suddenly blossom into sexual aggressors.
You have made many mistakes,
according to what you are telling us in this discussion, but you don't appear to be recognizing them and learning
from them.
Rule number 1: If a specific action doesn't produce the results you want, DON'T REPEAT THE
ACTION.
Rule number 2: After every action, OBSERVE ALL REACTIONS.
Rule number 3: Pick the reactions you want
and learn what led to them.
These rules work in all areas of life. Guys beat themselves against a wall, doing
the same things over and over again, wondering why they never get anywhere.
Don't let girls record your voice
mail greeting unless you want other girls to think they have marked turf.
Don't be "friends" with girls. Be a
man.
Don't obsess over anyone. Let them wonder about you.
Do things that make you feel good about
yourself. People will see that.
Learn to read and project body language.
the voicemail was probably a bad idea.
i like having a few female friends because i'm a
metrosexual. i'm not interested in these female friends, i known them since highschool. i'm not obessing over her,
i was just wondering what happened. i'm more obsessing over the situation. see i'm used to getting my way because
i'm good looking which is why this whole situation messes with me. i guess you can say i've been getting through
life based on my looks but that's why i'm trying to change things right now. i keep doing what i do because i have
success with what i do, not as much as i want. but enough to keep me happy. which is sit there, be good looking and
let girls approach me. but right now i'm working on approaching girls and kicking game to them instead of just
choosing from the ones that approach me.
You asked the question, I was
simply commenting on the facts you'd given, and presenting mho from a women's perspective, which will tend to be
different than a man's.
Maybe she doesn't consider herself in the same league, which would explain partly
why she's not comfortable with a sexual relationship. Or she just wanted to be friends, which is very attractive
to some girls. Haven't you ever seen Friends or Will and Grace? Women would love to have a male friend that they
can trust and feel safe with. Or maybe she knows you'll "sleep with anything", and isn't comfortable with that.
Maybe she's a virgin? You just never know. Why don't you find a place where she's comfortable, doens't feel
threatened, and ask her.
As for Brad Pitt, no not every girl wants him. And, of those who do, not all of them
would throw themselves at him.
Bindy
none
so Bindy, should we pretend
to be gay to have more girlfriends?
LOL! Definately not! But I
thought someone out there said, "don't be friends with girls. Be a man". The just of what I"m saying is: If what
you want is a friend, be a friend, and that generally means no sex. If it's a sexual relationship, one night
stand, long term relationship that you want, those all have to be approached differently than a friendship. Don't
you agree? (Great if a friendship turns into a relationship though.)
You all are too defensive about what I'm
saying, so I'll back out of this discussion.
Bindy
Not that I'm a fan of either actor, but
he's married. For Jennifer's sake, I hope he's monogamous unless they've mutually agreed to an open marriage.
I agree with Bindy. If you
want a friend, be a friend. I just feel like several guys have been complaining about LJBF situations lately. In
my experience, that usually leads to more than friendship, but that is because *I* change after I am put into the
friend category. I have had plenty of women friends through the years. Had no interest in them sexually. I
presume they either had none in me or it died quickly.
I'm glad you're trying to change your approach. I'd like to hear specific examples of what you do
and how you act, because you seem to keep falling back on how all sorts of females think you're cute or
good-looking, but as you get older (and girls' standards rise) you do need to back that up. And maybe they think
you're cute not in the right way-- like a kid or a puppy, but not a hot guy they want to sleep with. I'm just
speculating this part because you weren't really specific about it. I think most girls like guys who approach them
directly and aren't coy about showing their interest. I don't mean be a caveman or anything, but to just sit
there being good-looking and waiting for women to approach you is a pretty feminine approach.
I know this is
*really* old now and you've probably settled your mind about the whole thing. I just wanted to reiterate what
Pancho said, but from a female point of view. You said your whole group of mutual friends knew that this girl was
interested in you, for at least 4 months. It would be humiliating for her to get used by you in that situation, and
that's reason enough not to sleep with you, no matter how good-looking you are or how much she wanted you before.
Also, it was just too little too late. I don't think she was testing you. It seems like she was still
considering the possibility of sleeping with you by going to your room, but whatever happened there convinced her
that you were being opportunistic, so her self-preserving instinct took over. For her to sleep with you at that
point, would be like agreeing with you that she's stupid and unattractive and had better take whatever crumbs she
can get... Any girl with half a brain and/or ego, wouldn't do it either.
Maybe if you had "cultivated" her
by being a little more responsive, flirting back and seeming appreciative of her, etc., instead of brushing her off
and taking the chase for granted, you would have gotten somewhere later. It wouldn't have taken much effort or time
on your part, especially if she was originally as interested in you as your friends told you she was (they might
have exaggerated)... girls usually have pretty rich fantasy lives
"I was not a sexy young person. I was peculiar."-- Rufus Wainwright
basically i'd stop relying on my
looks/luck and started working on my game. i am a rAFC, i see where i went wrong and now i'm in the process of
becoming a PUA. thank goodness i failed with this chick or i might still be an AFC.
Excuse my ignorance... But what are you saying? I sort
of made my own opinion out of your abbreviations!heh!
A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."
They are "How to get women"
abbreviations...
I can't remember what they mean, but I recall that AFC means you're a wuss, rAFC means
you're recovering from being a wuss, and PUA means you can pick up any girl you want because you're they "Cocky
and Funny" type...
rAFC is a recovering average
frustrated chump and a pua is a pick up artist and afc is average frustrated chump. since i'm in b/w afc and
heading towards pua, i'm a rAFC.
OoH! well thanks
for that!. Makes much more sense now.
"Good Luck
with all That" like Pancho says...
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