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Thread: A blonde JOKE

  1. #1
    Phero Enthusiast Numanoid's Avatar
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    Default A blonde JOKE

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    A blonde was telling her

    priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"

    "Oh, I'm

    sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"

  2. #2
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    hehehe good one!

  3. #3
    Phero Enthusiast Numanoid's Avatar
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    wasn't it?

  4. #4
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Here's something funny

    someone sent me.

    He met her while browsing.
    She unzipped his dotcom 4 some

    downloading.

    Since he was virus free he slotted his hard disk into her hotmail & she screamed

    Yahoo!


  5. #5
    Phero Pharaoh a.k.a.'s Avatar
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    Here’s a real one from an

    ex-girlfriend:

    Ex: Who was that blonde bimbo you were talking to?
    Me: What exactly is a “bimbo”?


    Ex: A blonde.
    Give truth a chance.

  6. #6
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    I got another!



    ************

    A blond and a brunette are roommates,The bruenette is getting ready for her date

    with her boyfriend,grumbling replies i really don't feel like going out...
    The blonde is sitting at the window

    reading a book(believe it or not)and looks out the window,and sees the brunettes boyfriend ariving with a dozen

    roses and says.. Oh he thinks your special he's bringing you roses...
    The brunette rolls her eyes and comments,Oh

    geesh this means I'll be in bed all night with my legs in the air....
    The blonde replys: What you don't have a

    vase?
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  7. #7
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Oh!! Grossssssssss! but

    it made me laugh!..)

    ******************
    Two drunk blonde were on their way home from a bar. On

    their way home, they saw a pile of shit on the ground. The other one said: " Look, Jean, a kid dropped his chocolate

    on the ground...dumb kid!". Jean looked at the shit and said "No Mary,you silly dumb ass..it's not a

    chocolate..it's a pile of shit..". Mary began to argue with Jean and said :"No Jean, I am sure it is a

    chocolate..wanna bet? let's taste is.." So they did. after they tasted it, Jean said " You see?? I told you it's

    not a chocolate" Mary then said: " Oh well, I guess ur right...but we're lucky we didn't step on it..."
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  8. #8
    Phero Enthusiast Numanoid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBrenda
    I got

    another!

    ************

    A blond and a brunette are roommates,The bruenette is getting ready for

    her date with her boyfriend,grumbling replies i really don't feel like going out...
    The blonde is sitting at the

    window reading a book(believe it or not)and looks out the window,and sees the brunettes boyfriend ariving with a

    dozen roses and says.. Oh he thinks your special he's bringing you roses...
    The brunette rolls her eyes and

    comments,Oh geesh this means I'll be in bed all night with my legs in the air....
    The blonde replys: What you

    don't have a vase?
    that was a good one.

  9. #9
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by a.k.a.
    Here’s a real

    one from an ex-girlfriend:

    Ex: Who was that blonde bimbo you were talking to?
    Me: What exactly is a

    “bimbo”?
    Ex: A blonde.
    Was your ex blonde?
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  10. #10
    Full Member DAdams91982's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrSmellThis
    Was your

    ex blonde?
    One can only hope!!!

    Adams

  11. #11
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Here's another... =p hehe



    A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

    "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip

    a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."



    When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

    "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you

    follow my instructions?"

    The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third

    day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.

    "No, from skipping," replied the blonde
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  12. #12
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    And one more, why not?

    =op
    *************
    Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her

    milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.

    When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought

    she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.

    Gloria came to the door, and Alan

    said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"

    Gloria said, "I

    want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

    Alan asked, "Oh, alright,

    would you like it pasteurized?"

    Gloria replied, "No, just up to my tits."
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  13. #13
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Talking

    Here's are

    some more

    A.K.A

    =0)
    _____________________
    Two blondes

    had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

    As they approached it and got onto the final

    stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"

    After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde

    said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  14. #14
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Aka here's a

    few more ..


    *****************
    Brunette: "I'll have a B and

    C."

    Bartender:"What is a B and C?".

    Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."

    Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and

    T."

    Bartender: "What's a G and T?"

    Redhead: "Gin and tonic."

    Blonde: "I'll have a 15."

    Bartender:

    "What's a 15?"

    Blonde: "7 and 7"




    ______________________________

    A dumb blonde was

    standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of

    the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly,

    a coke comes out the machine!

    She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient.

    "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"

    The blonde turns

    around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still

    winning!"




    ________________________________



    Artery -- Study of paintings
    Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
    Barium --

    What doctors do when treatment fails
    Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
    Caesarean section -- District in

    Rome
    Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
    Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
    Colic -- Sheep

    dog
    Coma -- A punctuation mark
    Congenital -- Friendly
    D&C -- Where Washington

    is
    Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
    Dilate -- To live long
    Enema -- Not a

    friend
    Fester -- Quicker
    Fibula -- A small lie
    G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball

    game
    Grippe -- Suitcase
    Hangnail -- Coathook
    Impotent -- Distinguished, well

    known
    Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
    Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
    Medical staff --

    Doctor's cane
    Morbid -- Higher offer
    Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
    Node -- Was aware

    of
    Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
    Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
    Post operative -- Letter

    carrier
    Protein -- Favoring young people
    Rectum -- It almost killed him
    Recovery room --

    Place to do upholstery
    Rheumatic -- Amorous
    Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
    Secretion -- Hiding

    anything
    Seizure -- Roman emperor
    Serology -- Study of knighthood
    Tablet -- Small

    table
    Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
    Tibia -- Country in North Africa
    Tumor -- An

    extra pair
    Urine -- Opposite of you're out
    Varicose -- Located nearby
    Vein --

    Conceited
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  15. #15
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Last one

    for tonight.. ( I promise )

    ps
    AKA someone is going

    to think I have something against blondes! sooo, you go my back right? *grins*




    _________________________
    A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde robbed

    a supermarket. As they were stealing, a police officer walked in the store and saw what was happening. He dashed

    toward them, but they were able to get away into the back of the store. There they found three sacks to hide in.

    When the police officer checked there, he examined each sack.

    He kicks the first bag, and the redhead says "meow"

    in a high voice. The cop determines that it must only be a cat in that bag, and he moves on to the next.

    When he

    kicks the second bag, the brunette says "woof" in a low voice. The officer determines that it must only be a dog in

    that bag, so he moves on to the last bag.

    He kicks the third bag, and the blonde shouts "potato" to the

    officer.
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  16. #16
    Phero Pharaoh a.k.a.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBrenda
    [AKA someone is

    going to think I have something against blondes! sooo, you go my back right? *grins*
    Of

    course.
    Anyway, everybody knows there are only a handful of real blondes in the world (and 99% of them speak

    Swedish), so no problem.
    Good ones BTW.
    Give truth a chance.

  17. #17
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    I've heard that there are only

    four blond jokes...the rest are true stories.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  18. #18
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Hey A.K.A I got

    a new one for you

    Enjoy


    *****************************

    Two tourists were traveling through

    Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They

    argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde

    employee, ''Before we order could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very

    slowly.'' The blonde leaned over and said


    ''Burrrrrrr

    Gurrrrrr Kingggg.''

    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  19. #19
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    One

    more...

    **********

    One day this cop pulls

    over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.


    ''You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask

    me to show it.''
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  20. #20
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Q: How

    do you confuse a blonde?
    A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.




    Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
    A: She comes out and says she did.


    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  21. #21
    King of the coupons!
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    THE BLONDE AND THE

    VENTRILOQUIST


    A ventriloquist is sitting

    onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out rude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the

    audience stands up.


    "I'm so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. I'ts because of you

    that I have to try harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red

    or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair."


    "Gosh, Miss, I'm terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I

    didn't mean to hurt your feelings."


    "Shut Up! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that little jerk on your lap!"

    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

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