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  1. #1
    King of the coupons!
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    Default My Kind Of Friends

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    "Hi! My

    name is Chucky! And I'm your friend til the END!"


    Are you tired of all those sissy

    "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series

    of promises that really speaks to true friendship :

    1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and

    plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

    2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever

    is choking you.

    3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

    4. When you are scared - I will rag on

    you about it every chance I get.

    5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories

    about how much worse could be and to quit whining.

    6. When you are confused - I will use little

    words.


    7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I

    don't want whatever you have.

    8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

    This is my

    oath...I pledge it till the end. Why? You may ask. Because you are my friend.

    Send this to 10 of your

    closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right

    now anyway.

    Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me

    know if I ever need to bring a shovel.


    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  2. #2
    Full Member DAdams91982's Avatar
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    Damn chain letters.



    Adams

  3. #3
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DAdams91982
    Damn chain

    letters.

    Adams

    If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen

    Holmes' Theme Song

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by DAdams91982
    Damn chain

    letters.

    Adams
    What theeeee!? I take a vacation in California, come back, and look what took place!

    Let's see if I can fix this! First, this is the humor section, yes? Good! Now, close your eyes...think h u m o

    r...good! Now think...Mobley + humor...great! Now....

    "Send this to 10 of your closest friends"

    Damnit! It is a chain letter!! I hate chain letters!!!



    ", then get depressed

    because you can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right now anyway."



    So you only get to send this to one other person...can that mean it's a link letter since

    it's only one person that you can send it to? And since it's not an email that can be forwarded, do I get excused?

    I'm not a penis, honest! Speaking of which....



    Five reasons not to be a penis:



    Your head is bald forever.
    You live between two nuts.


    An as$hole lives behind you.
    Your best mate’s a cunt.


    When you get excited, you get sick and then faint.


    Annnnd speaking of

    fainting.....



    An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village.

    They seem to hit it off; they share each other's values, enjoy the same jokes, and find pleasure in each other's

    company.

    After a few months, the widower asks for the hand of the widow in marriage. She appears hesitant and

    decided to probe her soon-to-be a little.

    "Perhaps I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but... How's

    your health?"

    "It's OK", he answers. "I'm not getting any younger, but I don't have any major health

    problems. I can still enjoy life."

    "Well, then," she replies. "I don't want to be a snoop, but I've got to

    protect myself, how are you fixed financially?"

    "So-so. I'm not rich, but I'm comfortable. You don't have to

    worry about me sponging off you; I can support myself."

    The little old lady blushes, and finally asks her

    swain, "And how's your sex life?"

    "Infrequently." he declares.

    The widow ponders this for a moment or so,

    before asking, "And is that one word or two?"

    P.S. Anybody seen that Elana lady? Is it true she got

    locked up, and they won't let her out?
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  5. #5
    Man of La Pancha
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOBLEYC57

    P.S. Anybody seen that Elana lady? Is it true she got locked up, and they won't let

    her out?
    I think what happened was the best thing for her. Hopefully, she's doing

    something more productive now.

    Before I am taken the wrong way, I would like to say that the same applies to me

    as well.

  6. #6
    Man of La Pancha
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    Quote Originally Posted by DAdams91982
    Damn chain

    letters.

    Adams
    PS: This is not, by definition, a chain letter. I believe a chain letter requires that

    the writer plays off of luck or superstition by saying you will die if you don't send it on but will meet the

    person of your dreams if you send it to 10 or more people. "This letter has been passed along since 1923, when

    somebody won the lottery and decided to pass on his good fortune..." or something like that. In fact, I believe

    this is making fun of chain letters by saying you could only think of a couple of people to send it along to. The

    fact that people pass it on does not make it a chain letter, it makes it a popular e-mail to forward to 'true

    friends'.

    But we're getting into semantics, I guess...

    On a side note, I don't have any

    reeeeeeeally good friends because I'm not driving to Nevada to bury any bodies... I have, however, helped

    a few people move in the past few months...

  7. #7
    Full Member DAdams91982's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pancho1188
    PS: This

    is not, by definition, a chain letter. I believe a chain letter requires that the writer plays off of luck or

    superstition by saying you will die if you don't send it on but will meet the person of your dreams if you send it

    to 10 or more people. "This letter has been passed along since 1923, when somebody won the lottery and decided to

    pass on his good fortune..." or something like that. In fact, I believe this is making fun of chain letters by

    saying you could only think of a couple of people to send it along to. The fact that people pass it on does not make

    it a chain letter, it makes it a popular e-mail to forward to 'true friends'.

    But we're getting into

    semantics, I guess...

    On a side note, I don't have any reeeeeeeally good friends because I'm not

    driving to Nevada to bury any bodies... I have, however, helped a few people move in the past few

    months...
    Well by technicality... wouldnt a chain letter, just involve passing it on??? So in turns not

    breaking the "Chain?" I wouldnt think when it started or that your going to grow a 12 inch genitalia would

    matter.

    Adams

  8. #8
    Man of La Pancha
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    When it started doesn't

    matter...that was just an example of some of the worst ones I've seen. A chain letter, though, in its truest form

    must have some type of superstition attached to it. "Send this to 10 people or you'll die heinously in a car crash

    because the person you hated most in the world drunkenly knocked over the stop sign the night before." Otherwise,

    it's just a popular e-mail. For instance, if I send an e-mail with a bunch of interesting facts, such as "a

    woman's orgasm involves 87 muscle contractions per second," "10 percent of women have made love to a man while he

    was asleep," and other interesting facts...and you forward it on...and they forward it on...that doesn't make it a

    chain letter. You didn't try to force someone to send it on to a million people for good luck. It was just for

    fun. A chain letter specifically "requires" you to send it on in the letter. I would consider hoax virus e-mails

    and such chain letters. "Send to everyone you know so they don't get the virus!!!" when it doesn't even exist. I

    guess there's a fuzzy line there...but I believe this instance was just joking about being a chain letter.



    Actually, let me look this up...

    chain letter
    n.
    A letter sent to a number of people asking

    each recipient to send copies with the same request to a specified number of others. The circulation of a chain

    letter increases in geometrical progression as long as the instructions are followed by all recipients. Okay, that

    makes me right...

    chain letter

    n : a letter that is sent successively to several people


    Okay,

    that makes you right. Oh, well. We're both right. Like I said, though, the purest sense of the term would be the

    first one. However, you're right because in general, I guess you just have to keep passing it on for it to be a

    'chain', although I would hate to have an e-mail I sent to people be classified as such because I don't pass on

    'chain letters' but I will forward the occasional link to an interesting site that will keep being forwarded on

    because others will want to see it, too.

  9. #9
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Amen!...................

  10. #10
    Full Member DAdams91982's Avatar
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    hahahaha.... This just

    proves one thing... I am too damn literal.

    Adams

  11. #11
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    What have I done!!!? I've

    created a monster!! Helloooooooooooo! H U M O R...Find it, drop your pants, take a load off, and just

    relaaaax...please? I am soooooooooo sorry. Hope I don't have to come through this computer to bring

    things back to oder by stepping on some pinky toes!

    Shouldn't people be penalized for getting serious

    in the humor section? Mones fer everybody...and it's on all serious posters in the HUMOR section...geez. I'll have

    Chikara, Pheros and some Perception, please.
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  12. #12
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MOBLEYC57
    What have I

    done!!!? I've created a monster!! Helloooooooooooo! H U M O R...Find it, drop your pants, take a

    load off, and just relaaaax...please?
    Hey! hey, now noOne is dropping their pants off and taking any

    load off in here!...Please!!!
    *closes her eyes*
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBrenda
    Hey! hey,

    now noOne is dropping their pants off and taking any load off in here!...Please!!!
    *closes her

    eyes*
    Wassa matter, little sugar? Pancho and Signor Adam wouldn't hurt'cha none.



    Fortune cookie say..."He who is tooooo serious fer wrong reason, often need long quiet time in bathroom with lots

    of air freshner, to lighten da load."
    Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!

  14. #14
    Full Member DAdams91982's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBrenda
    Hey! hey,

    now noOne is dropping their pants off and taking any load off in here!...Please!!!
    *closes her

    eyes*
    Okay... you said no ONE... and capitalized the O in one.... are you saying more than

    one???

    Adams

  15. #15
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DAdams91982
    Okay...

    you said no ONE... and capitalized the O in one.... are you saying more than one???

    Adams
    You are such a

    Smart A$$... haha
    A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."

  16. #16
    Full Member DAdams91982's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetBrenda
    You are

    such a Smart A$$... haha
    I try... I try

    Adams

  17. #17
    Man of La Pancha
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    This is a chain letter. It

    prays on your desire for good things to happen to you and to avoid bad luck. You know it won't work, but you

    can't help but hope.

    "I hope this works..."

    Notice the ways they sucker you:

    1. The Testimonial:
    "So

    and so did this, and now they have a beautiful wife, millions of dollars, and a job as head of a fortune 500

    company"

    "This may sound crazy, but five minutes after I sent this the Dixie Chicks walked in to film a porn

    with me..."

    2. The Poem/Story
    "Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    You are my friend
    May your wish come true!"



    "A man was walking on a beach when he found a lamp. He rubbed it, and a genie popped out. He says, "You have one

    wish." The man says, "Holy shit! A genie in a bottle! I wish I had a camera!"

    3. The Wish
    "Make a wish!"



    4. The Time Limit
    "You must send this within the next 30 seconds or it won't work!"

    5. The

    Requirement
    "Send it to one person: You will get laid. Two people: You'll get laid twice. Five people: You'll

    have an orgy. Ten people: Two words: Olsen twins."

    The testimonial makes you think it's possible and gets you

    thinking what great things could happen, the poem makes you think that the legend/story/letter has merit and changes

    a person's fate for the good, the wish gets you to want something good to happen so bad that you'd be willing to

    send a letter to 20 people if it meant that you'd get that wish, the time limit makes you send it right away

    because you're more likely to send it now than later when you forget about it, and the requirement makes you send

    it to more people to spread the letter that someone made up a long time ago to boost their own egos by having so

    much influence on people for absolutely no reason other than giving them false hope. I admit that I'd like to

    think of a joke of some sort that's so funny that it would get spread to e-mails all over the world...but I would

    never prey on people's hopes and dreams like this. You could argue that this gives people hope, but I don't buy

    it.


    Good luck to everyone! And may all your dreams come

    true!!




    This may

    sound nuts, but my husband got this the other day and sent it off. About 10 minutes later a really good financial

    windfall happened for his son Sean who he had sent it too as well One of the people he sent it to was responsible

    for the

    windfall.








    [/c

    olor]
    AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH

    [font=Tahoma]

    [/f

    ont]





    [/co

    lor]
    Good Luck!!


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    I hope it

    works...










    May there always be work for your hands to do;


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    May your purse always

    hold a

    coin


    or two;


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    May the sun always

    shine on your windowpane;


    [color=blac

    k]
    [color=g

    reen]May a rainbow be certain to follow each

    rain;




    [/fon

    t]
    May the hand of a

    friend always be near

    you;
    [fo

    nt=Tahoma]



    [/fon

    t]
    May God fill your

    heart with gladness to cheer

    you.






    [font

    =Tahoma]OK, this is what you have to do....


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    Send th is to all of

    your friends!

    But - you HAVE to send


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    this within 1

    hour
    from when you open

    it!






    Now.........

    ......Make A

    wish!!!!!!








    I hope you made your wish! Now then, if you send to:


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    1 person --- your

    wish will be granted in 1 year


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    3 people --- 6 months


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    5 people --- 3 months


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    6 people --- 1 month


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    7 people --- 2 weeks


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    8

    people --- 1 week


    [font=Tahoma]
    [

    /font]
    9 people --- 5 days


    [font=Verdana]
    [/f

    ont]
    10 people --- 3

    days


    [color=black]
    [/

    color]
    12 people --- 2 days


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    15 people --- 1 day


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    20 people --- 3

    hours








    If you delete this after you read it... you will have 1 year of bad luck! But... if you send it 2


    [font=Tahoma]
    [/fon

    t]
    of your friends you

    will automatically have 3 years of good luck!!! :-)



    [img]http

    ://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_9_13.gif[/img]

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