Damn chain letters.
Adams
"Hi! My
name is Chucky! And I'm your friend til the END!"
Are you tired of all those sissy
"friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series
of promises that really speaks to true friendship :
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and
plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever
is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on
you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories
about how much worse could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little
words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I
don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my
oath...I pledge it till the end. Why? You may ask. Because you are my friend.
Send this to 10 of your
closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right
now anyway.
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me
know if I ever need to bring a shovel.
Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!
Damn chain letters.
Adams
Originally Posted by DAdams91982
If a guy's a cocksucker in his life, when he dies, he don't become a saint. - Morris Levy, Hitmen
Holmes' Theme Song
What theeeee!? I take a vacation in California, come back, and look what took place!Originally Posted by DAdams91982
Let's see if I can fix this! First, this is the humor section, yes? Good! Now, close your eyes...think h u m o
r...good! Now think...Mobley + humor...great! Now....
"Send this to 10 of your closest friends"
Damnit! It is a chain letter!! I hate chain letters!!!
", then get depressed
because you can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right now anyway."
So you only get to send this to one other person...can that mean it's a link letter since
it's only one person that you can send it to? And since it's not an email that can be forwarded, do I get excused?
I'm not a penis, honest! Speaking of which....
Five reasons not to be a penis:
Your head is bald forever.
You live between two nuts.
An as$hole lives behind you.
Your best mate’s a cunt.
When you get excited, you get sick and then faint.
Annnnd speaking of
fainting.....
An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village.
They seem to hit it off; they share each other's values, enjoy the same jokes, and find pleasure in each other's
company.
After a few months, the widower asks for the hand of the widow in marriage. She appears hesitant and
decided to probe her soon-to-be a little.
"Perhaps I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but... How's
your health?"
"It's OK", he answers. "I'm not getting any younger, but I don't have any major health
problems. I can still enjoy life."
"Well, then," she replies. "I don't want to be a snoop, but I've got to
protect myself, how are you fixed financially?"
"So-so. I'm not rich, but I'm comfortable. You don't have to
worry about me sponging off you; I can support myself."
The little old lady blushes, and finally asks her
swain, "And how's your sex life?"
"Infrequently." he declares.
The widow ponders this for a moment or so,
before asking, "And is that one word or two?"
P.S. Anybody seen that Elana lady? Is it true she got
locked up, and they won't let her out?
Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!
I think what happened was the best thing for her. Hopefully, she's doingOriginally Posted by MOBLEYC57
something more productive now.
Before I am taken the wrong way, I would like to say that the same applies to me
as well.
PS: This is not, by definition, a chain letter. I believe a chain letter requires thatOriginally Posted by DAdams91982
the writer plays off of luck or superstition by saying you will die if you don't send it on but will meet the
person of your dreams if you send it to 10 or more people. "This letter has been passed along since 1923, when
somebody won the lottery and decided to pass on his good fortune..." or something like that. In fact, I believe
this is making fun of chain letters by saying you could only think of a couple of people to send it along to. The
fact that people pass it on does not make it a chain letter, it makes it a popular e-mail to forward to 'true
friends'.
But we're getting into semantics, I guess...
On a side note, I don't have any
reeeeeeeally good friends because I'm not driving to Nevada to bury any bodies... I have, however, helped
a few people move in the past few months...
Well by technicality... wouldnt a chain letter, just involve passing it on??? So in turns notOriginally Posted by Pancho1188
breaking the "Chain?" I wouldnt think when it started or that your going to grow a 12 inch genitalia would
matter.
Adams
When it started doesn't
matter...that was just an example of some of the worst ones I've seen. A chain letter, though, in its truest form
must have some type of superstition attached to it. "Send this to 10 people or you'll die heinously in a car crash
because the person you hated most in the world drunkenly knocked over the stop sign the night before." Otherwise,
it's just a popular e-mail. For instance, if I send an e-mail with a bunch of interesting facts, such as "a
woman's orgasm involves 87 muscle contractions per second," "10 percent of women have made love to a man while he
was asleep," and other interesting facts...and you forward it on...and they forward it on...that doesn't make it a
chain letter. You didn't try to force someone to send it on to a million people for good luck. It was just for
fun. A chain letter specifically "requires" you to send it on in the letter. I would consider hoax virus e-mails
and such chain letters. "Send to everyone you know so they don't get the virus!!!" when it doesn't even exist. I
guess there's a fuzzy line there...but I believe this instance was just joking about being a chain letter.
Actually, let me look this up...
chain letter
n.
A letter sent to a number of people asking
each recipient to send copies with the same request to a specified number of others. The circulation of a chain
letter increases in geometrical progression as long as the instructions are followed by all recipients. Okay, that
makes me right...
chain letter
n : a letter that is sent successively to several people
Okay,
that makes you right. Oh, well. We're both right. Like I said, though, the purest sense of the term would be the
first one. However, you're right because in general, I guess you just have to keep passing it on for it to be a
'chain', although I would hate to have an e-mail I sent to people be classified as such because I don't pass on
'chain letters' but I will forward the occasional link to an interesting site that will keep being forwarded on
because others will want to see it, too.
hahahaha.... This just
proves one thing... I am too damn literal.
Adams
What have I done!!!? I've
created a monster!! Helloooooooooooo! H U M O R...Find it, drop your pants, take a load off, and just
relaaaax...please? I am soooooooooo sorry. Hope I don't have to come through this computer to bring
things back to oder by stepping on some pinky toes!
Shouldn't people be penalized for getting serious
in the humor section? Mones fer everybody...and it's on all serious posters in the HUMOR section...geez. I'll have
Chikara, Pheros and some Perception, please.
Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!
Hey! hey, now noOne is dropping their pants off and taking anyOriginally Posted by MOBLEYC57
load off in here!...Please!!!
*closes her eyes*
A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."
Wassa matter, little sugar? Pancho and Signor Adam wouldn't hurt'cha none.Originally Posted by SweetBrenda
Fortune cookie say..."He who is tooooo serious fer wrong reason, often need long quiet time in bathroom with lots
of air freshner, to lighten da load."
Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!
Okay... you said no ONE... and capitalized the O in one.... are you saying more thanOriginally Posted by SweetBrenda
one???
Adams
You are such aOriginally Posted by DAdams91982
Smart A$$... haha
A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you can not do."
I try... I tryOriginally Posted by SweetBrenda
Adams
This is a chain letter. It
prays on your desire for good things to happen to you and to avoid bad luck. You know it won't work, but you
can't help but hope.
"I hope this works..."
Notice the ways they sucker you:
1. The Testimonial:
"So
and so did this, and now they have a beautiful wife, millions of dollars, and a job as head of a fortune 500
company"
"This may sound crazy, but five minutes after I sent this the Dixie Chicks walked in to film a porn
with me..."
2. The Poem/Story
"Roses are red
Violets are blue
You are my friend
May your wish come true!"
"A man was walking on a beach when he found a lamp. He rubbed it, and a genie popped out. He says, "You have one
wish." The man says, "Holy shit! A genie in a bottle! I wish I had a camera!"
3. The Wish
"Make a wish!"
4. The Time Limit
"You must send this within the next 30 seconds or it won't work!"
5. The
Requirement
"Send it to one person: You will get laid. Two people: You'll get laid twice. Five people: You'll
have an orgy. Ten people: Two words: Olsen twins."
The testimonial makes you think it's possible and gets you
thinking what great things could happen, the poem makes you think that the legend/story/letter has merit and changes
a person's fate for the good, the wish gets you to want something good to happen so bad that you'd be willing to
send a letter to 20 people if it meant that you'd get that wish, the time limit makes you send it right away
because you're more likely to send it now than later when you forget about it, and the requirement makes you send
it to more people to spread the letter that someone made up a long time ago to boost their own egos by having so
much influence on people for absolutely no reason other than giving them false hope. I admit that I'd like to
think of a joke of some sort that's so funny that it would get spread to e-mails all over the world...but I would
never prey on people's hopes and dreams like this. You could argue that this gives people hope, but I don't buy
it.
Good luck to everyone! And may all your dreams come
true!!
This may
sound nuts, but my husband got this the other day and sent it off. About 10 minutes later a really good financial
windfall happened for his son Sean who he had sent it too as well One of the people he sent it to was responsible
for the
windfall.
[/c
olor]AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH
[font=Tahoma]
[/f
ont]
[/co
lor]Good Luck!!
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]I hope it
works...
May there always be work for your hands to do;
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]May your purse always
hold a
coin
or two;
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]May the sun always
shine on your windowpane;
[color=blac
k]
[color=g
reen]May a rainbow be certain to follow each
rain;
[/fon
t]May the hand of a
friend always be near
you;[fo
nt=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]May God fill your
heart with gladness to cheer
you.
[font
=Tahoma]OK, this is what you have to do....
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]Send th is to all of
your friends!
But - you HAVE to send
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]this within 1
hour from when you open
it!
Now.........
......Make A
wish!!!!!!
I hope you made your wish! Now then, if you send to:
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]1 person --- your
wish will be granted in 1 year
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]3 people --- 6 months
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]5 people --- 3 months
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]6 people --- 1 month
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]7 people --- 2 weeks
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]8
people --- 1 week
[font=Tahoma]
[
/font]9 people --- 5 days
[font=Verdana]
[/f
ont]10 people --- 3
days
[color=black]
[/
color]12 people --- 2 days
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]15 people --- 1 day
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]20 people --- 3
hours
If you delete this after you read it... you will have 1 year of bad luck! But... if you send it 2
[font=Tahoma]
[/fon
t]of your friends you
will automatically have 3 years of good luck!!! :-)
[img]http
://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_9_13.gif[/img]
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