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  1. #1
    cuddlebear
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    Default The very first thing

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    OK, here's a

    question for our lady friends ...

    What is the VERY FIRST THING that comes to mind when you see a man? I have

    always been very interested in this IMMEDIATE reaction that happens usually before we are close enough to work any

    mone magic.

    What is the first thought in your mind and what is the first thing you judge the man on?



    Give me some input, and I'm sure the guys here will gladly help answer the same question for the ladies


  2. #2
    Sadhu
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    Cuddlybeary, it´s a difficult one to

    answer! Try to think of what you notice in a woman and what is important to you when you check out a woman and

    that´s pretty much what us girls look at too Men and women are not that different at all. Sorry if I can´t give

    you a concrete answer but frankly there isn´t one basically

    Remember that what you see of a person will

    always depend on the situation. For instance, when a person is sitting down you can´t check out their bum and if

    they´re seated at a table you will always notice just what is visible of them so you focus on what you can see.


    The overall behaviour is important in any case at least to me personally.

    CJ

  3. #3
    cuddlebear
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    Default

    Thanks for the response, CJ!

    I guess what I am curious about is "is your first reaction mental, emotional or physical?" .. I can tell you

    right off a guy's first reaction is going to be physical, certain body parts if he can see them, the ones that are

    left if he can't ... Keep up the input, sexy ladies of L-S!

  4. #4
    cuddlebear
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    Default

    Actually, you already gave me

    a very good clue when you said "the overall behavior is important" ... thanks again for your input

  5. #5
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    So many women are in their own little

    worlds, they don't notice us

  6. #6
    cuddlebear
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    Default

    Ladies, is this true, what bjf

    is saying? I've noticed this too, but want to get the ladies' viewpoints ...

  7. #7
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    First thing I look for in a

    guy... Teeth a guy with a nice smile says a lot specially nice teeth definately a turn on. I like to dance so

    usually a guy that knows how to dance shows me he got the right moves for just anything..

  8. #8
    Phero Pro SweetBrenda's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by CJ01
    Cuddlybeary, it´s

    a difficult one to answer! Try to think of what you notice in a woman and what is important to you when you check

    out a woman and that´s pretty much what us girls look at too Men and women are not that different at all. Sorry

    if I can´t give you a concrete answer but frankly there isn´t one basically

    Remember that what you see of a

    person will always depend on the situation. For instance, when a person is sitting down you can´t check out their

    bum and if they´re seated at a table you will always notice just what is visible of them so you focus on what you

    can see.
    The overall behaviour is important in any case at least to me personally.

    CJ
    Hey this was

    good

  9. #9
    Sadhu
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    So many women are in

    their own little worlds, they don't notice us
    That´s true I guess, once I didn´t notice a post until I

    walked into it

    CB, sex always starts in the brain. I usually think: shaggable or not shaggable and then nice

    or not nice etc... (I guess )
    CJ

  10. #10
    Sadhu
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    I guess what I am curious about

    is "is your first reaction mental, emotional or physical?" .. I can tell you right off a guy's first reaction is

    going to be physical, certain body parts if he can see them, the ones that are left if he can't ...
    Do

    you mean the reaction of a guy or what he notices?

  11. #11
    cuddlebear
    Guest

    Default a guy's reaction

    I mean that

    the very first thing that comes to his mind is physical ... a chemical reaction, immediately.

    I have

    noticed it isn't quite that way with females ... so often I've gotten rapt attention from females, apparently just

    because I had a certain expression on my face ... DST referred to the phenomenon as "a momentary glint in my

    eye".

    I think there is a different sequence with women than with men, when it comes to what they notice.

    That is why I started this thread ...

    Now I'm going to go brush my teeth and learn to dance

  12. #12
    Sadhu
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    You mean it is physical if you fancy a

    woman but not when you don´t. It´s not that different for us to be honest.
    Things like these always require an

    analysis of some sort which I don´t like dwelling on too much frankly and not every person is always the same

    either.
    I have noticed it isn't quite that way with females ...
    How? I mean no you can´t really

    tell, chicks don´t get erections..

    I wouldn´t worry about such little details because they´re not

    important at all imo Who cares what the other person sees or thinks first or whatever as long as they´re

    friendly and you get on with them -that´s all what matters in the end.

  13. #13
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    That last bit was some good wisdom

    CJ01. At least from my perspective, as I am so focused on first impressions.

  14. #14
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    Default

    This may be an odd answer, but I

    don't care, it's what I think of.

    Right away I try to feel if there's any chemistry, not just the mones,

    but with some guys you just feel the heat working (I guess this is where pheros can help, to tell the truth).

    There's a connection that is just there, or it's not there. After some conversation then you really know.



    With some guys you just know there's no heat, and if it happens, it's by getting to be friends first.

    That's not bad either. It just takes more time.

    Looks don't really matter to me. I guess I judge on Heat

    or No heat. That's just me. Call me crazy.

    although I will say part of the Heat comes from self

    confidence. That is a big thing, and you don't have to be a classically hot dude to have that.

  15. #15
    cuddlebear
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    Smile great post !!

    Nothing "odd"

    about that answer at all, Sophie! This is exactly the kind of input I've been looking for ... I am really

    grateful for all the replies from girls and guys on this thread ... it is really enlightening ...

    And your

    answer is very interesting indeed .. I am very interested in the "Chemistry" "Heat" "Energy" angle of all this,

    and I think a lot of the key lies precisely in this area.

    Great post !!

  16. #16
    Stranger perfidia's Avatar
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    Hi, contrary to my avatar and

    signature, I'm not a gay man, I'm a heterosexual woman... I believe (quite like Sophie, I think) that I sense an

    attraction before I'm conscious of it-- First I'm drawn to a person and then I turn and see him, so naturally the

    next thing I notice is their appearance. One man I met when he was quite drunk and I was not attracted in the

    slightest, but I met him again when he was sober and was immediately, quite ridiculously attracted to him-- I think

    that was at least partly due to the alcohol messing with his chemistry, not merely that drunken men are generally

    repulsive!
    "I was not a sexy young person. I was peculiar."-- Rufus Wainwright

  17. #17
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    This is a great insight,

    perfidasince the liver needs to be functioning properly for the sex hormones to be, and so on. Welcome to the

    forum!
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  18. #18
    Phero Dude DCW's Avatar
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    Cool

    The face and hair then my eyes start

    moving down for some strange reason.
    Your eyes say a lot about you as well.

    Here a question, have you

    every met someone and without having spoken a word, you feel that you know a lot about them, Like their temperament,

    and other personal characteristics just by the vibe the give off without any word being sent?


    DCW

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by DCW
    Here a question, have

    you every met someone and without having spoken a word, you feel that you know a lot about them, Like their

    temperament, and other personal characteristics just by the vibe the give off without any word being

    sent?
    Thats exactly what I was going to say, that really tells me a lot. I usually get vibes from

    people that I am going to be involved with in the future before I even say a word to them.

  20. #20
    I'm a whopper!
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    Default

    I'm with DCW on this one,

    face and hair gets me goin but then i am easy to please.

  21. #21
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    These last few posts made me think

    (talking about not a word being spoken), that I also have a thing about voices. Some men have a certain timbre of

    voice that just rings my bells. It's nothing specific, it's just their particular way of speaking. Maybe it's

    combined with other signals, but definitely it's something to consider.

  22. #22
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    Okay, this is Sue. I rarely

    speak, unless I have an opinion.

    What first attracts me to a man? The face. Whatever iconic movie actor

    it may remind me of, to set me off. Tim (of Home Improvement). Liam Neeson. Bill Clinton. Kevin Spacey (sorry! I

    know he's gay). Richard Burton. Sean Connery. The rugged but smooth type ... like Bill.

    The eyes. The

    windows to the soul. Which, by the way, only works if the guy is serene enough to let the soul shine out. (Ask me

    sometime about my theory of the "shell" that people put around themselves.)

    The voice. Has to be deep and

    resonant. Barry White or close to him. Just me, sorry. I don't like wimpy little voices.

    Then, once most

    of that has happened .(and, I repeat, after MOST that has happened, or I won't get close enough to take a second

    look) ... the scent. Under the arms. If the natural pheromones aren't compatible, forget it. Any volume of

    artificial pheromones are NOT going to mask that essential male scent. And if it's compatible with me, I'm

    totally gone. If it's not, I'm totally gone ... in the other direction.

  23. #23
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Nice post, Sue.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  24. #24
    Phero Dude
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    How did Sue get to be me?



    Ditto everything, Sue...you are a keen woman.

  25. #25
    Bad Motha Holmes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sue
    (Ask me sometime about

    my theory of the "shell" that people put around themselves.)
    Well? I'm asking.

  26. #26
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Sue is one of my favorite

    female posters here, but I admit I'm biased because she liked my perfume (what an ego!). Nonetheless, her posts are

    consistently good.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  27. #27
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    Default none

    I'll let Sue know she has

    a query on here and hopefully she'll have time to get online tomorrow and answer it, she's fast asleep at the

    moment!!!

  28. #28
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    Default Shell Theory

    This is Sue. The

    shell theory? Well, it can become complicated (as you'll soon see, from the length of this post), but here it

    is:

    Everyone has a certain amount of "shell" around them; i.e., defenses; armor; a shield; in some cases, a

    fortress! In other words, the person hardly ever lets others see who they really are.

    It's really simple

    and obvious. You've all thought about how other folks you know are "reserved" or "remote." I've thought about a

    lot of people I know in terms of shell theory, just on a mental whim one night. It doesn't really have any

    practical application, though. Just a way of looking at people in a different way that can be

    interesting.

    Really, everyone has a shell of some sort. Some people let theirs down more and are more

    honest, show their real face, more of the time. Others let it down only in certain circumstances: with a lover,

    after having a drink or two, after smoking a J, or all of the above.

    BUT, since this is a thread about what

    attracts women most, here is a perverse twist on shell theory. Women aren't necessarily attracted to men who have

    NO shell, or very little. But what truly drives us crazy is the man who projects an air of confidence AND has a

    huge shell. This is a challenge to us. We HAVE to get in there! But, fellows, do not let us ... Without that air

    of confidence and calm, plus the shell that keeps part of the man private and unknown, we lose interest ......

  29. #29
    Sadhu bjf's Avatar
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    Well I guess that is why so many

    women are lesbians. 99 percent of all men don't speak like Barry Mantilow, half don't come equipped with social

    phobias and a quarter are drunk, which leaves less than half a percent of the male population to choose from.

  30. #30
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    Post We International Men of Mystery



    In reality, the project of knowing yourself completely would be

    lifetimes of work. And there is no possibility of others ever thoroughly knowing you. Yet Sue

    tells it like it is. How could that be?

    Fundamentally, a desire for "mysteriousness," per se, could be

    based in a woman's own fear of being superficial, boring, empty, or even unlikeable. This fear would be

    projected toward genuine men, whose transparency would feel threatening. After all, her own "cover might be

    blown" if she has to reciprocate in that level of sharing.

    If this were the only reason for the mystery

    phenomenon, I'd have little constructive use for women who were turned off by knowing a lot in a short period of

    time about the "real me."

    But there are other reasons for finding a sense of mystery attractive. Women seemingly

    like to discover a man; to tell their very own story about him. This brings a sense of control, choice; and

    reciprocity in situations where men are the initiators. Women don't seem to want to be merely passive consumers of

    pre-packaged stories told by others. Just as we learn things best on our own rather than by reading them, or hearing

    them; discovery leads to a deeper intimacy. And women tend to be intimacy connoisseurs.

    For our part as men,

    when people have to earn the priviledge of knowing us intimately and personally, we are demonstrating good

    boundaries, social skills, and self esteem. We are keeping our sense of privacy intact; and protecting ourselves

    from masses of idiots who'd as soon judge us harshly as look at us.

    When we share too much, it is often out of

    narcissism or neediness; or perhaps insecurity about the adequacy of what we've already shown. These

    are not favorable mating qualities for "providers, protectors, and/or sperm donors".

    On the other hand,

    once you get into a relationship further with someone, things usually change. Projecting an air of mystery might

    become annoying to any woman with a sense of wonderment and self esteem.
    Last edited by DrSmellThis; 07-10-2004 at 06:40 PM.
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

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