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  1. #1
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    Default The art of "SEDUCTION"...how do certain things work SO WELL...

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Now, I have a broad query...

    Why exactly do certain things work so

    well to seduce?

    Of course, pheromones are ones judged by smell, and they send signals to the brain which trigger

    certain emotions/feelings...

    But why does something such as, say...soft music...work so well? It

    certainly calms a woman and makes her comfortable, but what EXACTLY? I'm certain it creates a physical response, in

    terms of hormones...

    And speaking softly seems to have the same effect. It's kinda a staple of many guys

    to speak with a "Barry-White" effect, and when I have done it unconsciously, I noticed great results. Soothing

    factor? Do the vibrations cause sensations through the auditory canal?

    I already know about touch being vital,

    referred to in short as kino, as it releases hormones in women...

    And in terms of visual, of course good looks

    are important. What kind of physiological reaction exactly does, say, a nice body on a man send to a woman? I'm

    sure a lean chiseled body would send different signals in different women than a large powerful body, and other

    things such as a babyface compared to a hardened model-type face, etc etc...
    Also, I heard good eye contact with a

    female will also elicit certain emotional/hormonal changes, therefore it would also produce altered pheromone levels

    in effect, no...?

    I've covered what I want to know about smelling, touching, seeing, and hearing...Taste has

    too much do with smell to intrigue me, although I know specific foods are considered afrodisiacs and such...

    Any

    comments? Pheromones are smell, and we cover them rather extensively here...what about the other senses? How can we

    supplement the other senses we have to offer a total seductive package...? Any info/insight is appreciated...

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    This thread kind of touches

    into many different areas and topics discussed throughout, that is, what women are looking for outside of pheromone

    secretion. Body language, attitude, personality, physical appearance, environment, history, time of the year and/or

    minute of the day may work for or against you. Much of the above, in terms of finding out WHY someone is attracted

    to differing levels of these variables, is extremely complex. Take for example, physical attraction. We are told

    that symmetry plays a large role in this as women tend to view this as a sign of reproductive fitness. Personality

    and attitude can work for or against you just as it can with us. Have you ever looked at a women and though she was

    attractive, but found her LESS attractive after she opened her mouth? It can go that way for you too. It doesn't

    mean that your a loser , it just means this person doesn't respond well to the way your handle yourself. You

    mentioned above the environmental factors that play into it as well. Why is it that soothing music can help to set

    a mood? What is it about speaking softly that can sometimes help? Sometimes it helps to look at things in extremes

    or otherwise broaden the view. Take the music for example: Does she know the song? What are the words saying?

    Has she had positive or negative reactions in the past associated with the song(s)? Even larger, what is the rest

    of the environment? Soft music probably won't help you set a mood in a mcdonalds. Same with soft speaking: What

    are you SAYING to her? Would you say it is generally more socially indicative of romantic situations to be softer

    rather than speaking very loudly? Could you imagine seducing a woman by yelling at her? And once again, what is

    your environment?

    Nothing profound really, but the idea I'm trying to get at is that things work together.

    Variables come together to make or break you and I believe it is a combination of all of them that will dictate

    results for the pure fact that we cannot rely soley on pheromone supplementation to do our handy work. It is the

    human condition, that is, our abilities to comprehend and be social that dictate the overal result... well, unless

    you can spray on your pheromones and have men or women jump you without opening your mouth

    heheh.

    Thanks
    Matt

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    Quote Originally Posted by BDC_Concepts
    This thread kind of touches into many different areas and topics discussed throughout, that is,

    what women are looking for outside of pheromone secretion. Body language, attitude, personality, physical

    appearance, environment, history, time of the year and/or minute of the day may work for or against you. Much of the

    above, in terms of finding out WHY someone is attracted to differing levels of these variables, is extremely

    complex. Take for example, physical attraction. We are told that symmetry plays a large role in this as women tend

    to view this as a sign of reproductive fitness. Personality and attitude can work for or against you just as it can

    with us. Have you ever looked at a women and though she was attractive, but found her LESS attractive after she

    opened her mouth? It can go that way for you too. It doesn't mean that your a loser , it just means this person

    doesn't respond well to the way your handle yourself. You mentioned above the environmental factors that play into

    it as well. Why is it that soothing music can help to set a mood? What is it about speaking softly that can

    sometimes help? Sometimes it helps to look at things in extremes or otherwise broaden the view. Take the music for

    example: Does she know the song? What are the words saying? Has she had positive or negative reactions in the past

    associated with the song(s)? Even larger, what is the rest of the environment? Soft music probably won't help you

    set a mood in a mcdonalds. Same with soft speaking: What are you SAYING to her? Would you say it is generally more

    socially indicative of romantic situations to be softer rather than speaking very loudly? Could you imagine seducing

    a woman by yelling at her? And once again, what is your environment?

    Nothing profound really, but the idea I'm

    trying to get at is that things work together. Variables come together to make or break you and I believe it is a

    combination of all of them that will dictate results for the pure fact that we cannot rely soley on pheromone

    supplementation to do our handy work. It is the human condition, that is, our abilities to comprehend and be social

    that dictate the overal result... well, unless you can spray on your pheromones and have men or women jump you

    without opening your mouth heheh.

    Thanks
    Matt
    Thanks for the great reply...

    I always find myself

    looking for a clearcut definitive scientific answer, and I realize that it's not that simple. In the end, I could

    be looking too deep into things. Why is a pretty face pretty? Shall I go the route of hypothesizing because a pretty

    face means fertility and good health, which is important for reproduction...or is it just because she has a nice

    smile? And of course, environmental factors do have a great amount to do with it, as little experiences throughout

    life can significantly alter what you find attractive. I always look to the most basic element though, as there is

    an inherent predisposition to prefer one thing over another, somewhere inside the genetic code...

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    I've wondered about some of

    the things you mentioned here and whether they are part of the 'civilized' portion of our thinking or if they are

    somewhere in the 'crocodile brain'. The core of every animal's brain carries the same basic instinctual responses

    to danger and sexuality and that is where pheromones do their work. What about other stimuli, like music. Snakes,

    lizards and most other reptiles can be lulled by certain types of music, snake charmers are a good example. Most

    lizards can be put into a trance by rubbing their bellies, for example.

    It seems likely that at a deeply

    subconcious level, we advanced, civilized beings are affected the same way. That's why certain music and touching

    (backrubs) are so sensual. Our civilized behavoir is really a pretty thin veneer over our animal behavoirs. If we

    can gain an understanding of that part of our reactions, seduction may take on a whole new aspect; approaching the

    subconcious mind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    Our

    civilized behavoir is really a pretty thin veneer over our animal behavoirs. If we can gain an understanding of that

    part of our reactions, seduction may take on a whole new aspect; approaching the subconcious mind.
    Exactly

    what I was getting at. This whole "civilized" mentality, at least to me, is just a diluted form of our natural

    animal instincts. Everything is still the same as it was 250,000 years ago for us; it's just that time changes,

    circumstances change, the environment changes, but WE DON'T. We still go through elaborate courtship rituals

    (flirting, dating, flowers, candy, etc), choose our lifemates (marriage), but our animal side suggests we spread our

    seed as much as possible (divorce, infidelity, premarital sex). Our most primal goal is still to reproduce (sex =

    childbirth, "settling down with wife and kids", "that baby is so cute, I want one!"). If we want to get even more

    technical here, what is "love"? It would be rather terrible to translate "love" into some evolved form of natural

    instinct, but...

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    Quote Originally Posted by handtohandking
    If we

    want to get even more technical here, what is "love"? It would be rather terrible to translate "love" into some

    evolved form of natural instinct, but...
    You could make a good argument for love being an evolved trait

    that was/is needed to provide a stable home to raise children, increasing the likelyhood of them growing to

    reproductive age. If that is true, The divorce rate and the number of single parent families would tend to

    invalidate what we have been saying about our animal natures though. Unless you choose to call single parent

    families abnormal. In that case, the percentage of abnormality within our species is increasing at a frighteningly

    fast rate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    If that

    is true, The divorce rate and the number of single parent families would tend to invalidate what we have been saying

    about our animal natures though. Unless you choose to call single parent families abnormal. In that case, the

    percentage of abnormality within our species is increasing at a frighteningly fast rate.

    Interesting, I never quite thought about divorce rate/single parent homes and their large increase in our

    "advanced" society. Now that I ponder on it a little bit, would I be wrong if I said...the state of mankind is at

    the most crucial crossroads it's ever been at RIGHT NOW? Centuries, decades, hell even MONTHS ago a lot of stuff

    going on in the world today would be deemed unacceptable, yet I see that society is simultaneously becoming more

    free-spirited and more accepting at the same time, which in the end can only lead to disaster. Mankind has lasted

    this long because there were rules, there were guidelines, there was a structure. Yes, many things we consider to be

    "rights" or "freedoms" today were outlawed or considering taboo even a short time ago, but let's get back to the

    whole primeval perspective...We CANNOT let everyone do whatever they want, because there is then no structure, and

    chaos ensues...

    I'm still trying to form this whole hypothesis as I've just started forming it right now, but

    it's like in the Bible with Noah's Ark all over again. I'm still not quite sure what I'm trying to say...Is our

    advanced intelligence being overpowered by our own animal instincts right now, producing a volatile combination?

    Prophecies of the Apocalypse don't seem too off at this time. Just like when the Earth was flooded for 40 night and

    40 days, it's like as "advanced" our civilization has become in terms of technology, our mindstates are as primal

    as ever, maybe even more so than in the past...Nuclear weapons + "grunt grunt me want me want" = NOT GOOD...

    I

    apologize for bringing up Armageddon in my post...

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    Quote Originally Posted by handtohandking
    Interesting, I never quite thought about divorce rate/single parent homes and their large

    increase in our "advanced" society. Now that I ponder on it a little bit, would I be wrong if I said...the state of

    mankind is at the most crucial crossroads it's ever been at RIGHT NOW? Centuries, decades, hell even MONTHS ago a

    lot of stuff going on in the world today would be deemed unacceptable, yet I see that society is simultaneously

    becoming more free-spirited and more accepting at the same time, which in the end can only lead to disaster. Mankind

    has lasted this long because there were rules, there were guidelines, there was a structure. Yes, many things we

    consider to be "rights" or "freedoms" today were outlawed or considering taboo even a short time ago, but let's get

    back to the whole primeval perspective...We CANNOT let everyone do whatever they want, because there is then no

    structure, and chaos ensues...

    I'm still trying to form this whole hypothesis as I've just started forming it

    right now, but it's like in the Bible with Noah's Ark all over again. I'm still not quite sure what I'm trying

    to say...Is our advanced intelligence being overpowered by our own animal instincts right now, producing a volatile

    combination? Prophecies of the Apocalypse don't seem too off at this time. Just like when the Earth was flooded for

    40 night and 40 days, it's like as "advanced" our civilization has become in terms of technology, our mindstates

    are as primal as ever, maybe even more so than in the past...Nuclear weapons + "grunt grunt me want me want" = NOT

    GOOD...

    I apologize for bringing up Armageddon in my post...
    We can debate armageddon endlessly but I

    don't really believe we are on the verge of it. On the other hand I do agree about our civilization being on the

    cusp of titanic social events. Saying we need more rules and controls is really not the answer. Instead, it is the

    result of (please excuse me) short-sighted thinking.

    It's a common misunderstanding, we make a rule to prevent

    something or to cause something. That improves our society, right? First you have to enforce that law which requires

    an increase in manpower and increases the burden on the citizenry. With our current set of laws and requirement our

    society is taxed more than 50% of production, the majority being on the backs of the poor and middle class segments

    of society. Adding to that only increases disenchantment with the government. If you don't continue to increase law

    enforcement manpower, laws are not obeyed. As people become accustomed to not having to obey the law, contempt for

    all laws builds until you reach a crises situation. That results in anarchy and death.

    Throughout our lives, we

    have had more and more responsibility taken away from us by laws written to enforce behavoir. As the number of laws

    increased the number of instances of breaking the law have increased. Look at the drug laws in this country or

    prostitution or gambling or a myrid of other laws and tell me how well we obey unenforceable laws. I can make an

    argument that the very laws that were created to stop the drug traffic have not only been a hopeless failure, they

    have resulted in the proliferation of both organized crime and street crime. Even those who write the laws don't

    obey them!

    Another scenerio: Start at pre-school and teach children to make decisions for themselves. Teach them

    right from wrong, give them plenty of time and love. THEN MAKE THEM SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS. Do it

    every time and do it publicly. Teach them honestly and give them responsibility every day. Yeah, it would take time

    to implement. Try it with a small group of say a thousand children. I'll bet that the majority will grow up to be

    the best possible citizens you could ask for. As they grow up and raise their own children, those values will be

    passed on, especially if they continue to be taught that way in school.

    How does this relate to human sexuality?

    Our sexuality is a basic part of who and what we are and what we have been taught all our lives. Many forms of

    impotence, frigidity, infidility and family violence are products of our declining society. Sexual freedom comes

    with a lot of strings attached. What better environment for love than a society free of the games and repression

    that we have now? What business does the government have making laws about who you can marry, whether it has to be a

    conventional relationship, gay, triads, etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    We can

    debate armageddon endlessly but I don't really believe we are on the verge of it. On the other hand I do agree

    about our civilization being on the cusp of titanic social events. Saying we need more rules and controls is really

    not the answer. Instead, it is the result of (please excuse me) short-sighted thinking.

    It's a common

    misunderstanding, we make a rule to prevent something or to cause something. That improves our society, right? First

    you have to enforce that law which requires an increase in manpower and increases the burden on the citizenry. With

    our current set of laws and requirement our society is taxed more than 50% of production, the majority being on the

    backs of the poor and middle class segments of society. Adding to that only increases disenchantment with the

    government. If you don't continue to increase law enforcement manpower, laws are not obeyed. As people become

    accustomed to not having to obey the law, contempt for all laws builds until you reach a crises situation. That

    results in anarchy and death.

    Throughout our lives, we have had more and more responsibility taken away from us

    by laws written to enforce behavoir. As the number of laws increased the number of instances of breaking the law

    have increased. Look at the drug laws in this country or prostitution or gambling or a myrid of other laws and tell

    me how well we obey unenforceable laws. I can make an argument that the very laws that were created to stop the drug

    traffic have not only been a hopeless failure, they have resulted in the proliferation of both organized crime and

    street crime. Even those who write the laws don't obey them!

    Another scenerio: Start at pre-school and teach

    children to make decisions for themselves. Teach them right from wrong, give them plenty of time and love. THEN MAKE

    THEM SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS. Do it every time and do it publicly. Teach them honestly and give

    them responsibility every day. Yeah, it would take time to implement. Try it with a small group of say a thousand

    children. I'll bet that the majority will grow up to be the best possible citizens you could ask for. As they grow

    up and raise their own children, those values will be passed on, especially if they continue to be taught that way

    in school.

    How does this relate to human sexuality? Our sexuality is a basic part of who and what we are and

    what we have been taught all our lives. Many forms of impotence, frigidity, infidility and family violence are

    products of our declining society. Sexual freedom comes with a lot of strings attached. What better environment for

    love than a society free of the games and repression that we have now? What business does the government have making

    laws about who you can marry, whether it has to be a conventional relationship, gay, triads, etc.
    Hmmm...I DO

    see your point, even if it sounds a little bit...anarchistic...?

    However, I didn't mean "repression" when I

    stated that structure was the foundation that has led humans and the rest of the universe along on its path.

    A

    "perfect" system, if there is one, would mean eternal efficiency. Homo Sapiens Superior never has to become extinct

    if we live by this system, yet it's basically impossible because I don't believe there is such a thing as

    perfection. Even the universe we exist in, as close to perfect as anything can be, will eventually come to an end,

    depending on who you talk to. Basically, to achieve this neverending harmony, everyone and everything must play

    their part, as robotic as it sounds...

    I think you misunderstood me on my point. I'm not saying the government

    should put even MORE strict guidelines, take away MORE rights, be even MORE domineering...

    It's just that I

    believe our own society has evolved to the point where we can NEVER be content, do you understand what I mean?

    People have such insane expectations to be as "free" as possible...free from oppression, free from unhappiness, free

    from RESPONSIBILITY, free from REALITY...Many people have their head in the clouds, and I'm not saying everyone has

    to be ultra-serious and dedicated to some social movement or anything, but there's a lot of BS going around, and

    unfortunately we are ALL falling victim to it in some form or another.

    I just think every citizen has to play

    their role, and it is actually difficult in many ways especially living in a place like the United States, where

    opportunity and the abundance of choices overwhelms the average person and confuses them..."What AM I supposed to

    do?!" The LESS "civilized" a group is, the more harmonious it is, because they all play their role in nature and the

    universe. But in our everchanging world we live in, our purpose is becoming blurred...

    Just my two cents...

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    Quote Originally Posted by handtohandking
    Hmmm...I

    DO see your point, even if it sounds a little bit...anarchistic...?

    However, I didn't mean "repression" when I

    stated that structure was the foundation that has led humans and the rest of the universe along on its path.

    A

    "perfect" system, if there is one, would mean eternal efficiency. Homo Sapiens Superior never has to become extinct

    if we live by this system, yet it's basically impossible because I don't believe there is such a thing as

    perfection. Even the universe we exist in, as close to perfect as anything can be, will eventually come to an end,

    depending on who you talk to. Basically, to achieve this neverending harmony, everyone and everything must play

    their part, as robotic as it sounds...

    I think you misunderstood me on my point. I'm not saying the government

    should put even MORE strict guidelines, take away MORE rights, be even MORE domineering...

    It's just that I

    believe our own society has evolved to the point where we can NEVER be content, do you understand what I mean?

    People have such insane expectations to be as "free" as possible...free from oppression, free from unhappiness, free

    from RESPONSIBILITY, free from REALITY...Many people have their head in the clouds, and I'm not saying everyone has

    to be ultra-serious and dedicated to some social movement or anything, but there's a lot of BS going around, and

    unfortunately we are ALL falling victim to it in some form or another.

    I just think every citizen has to play

    their role, and it is actually difficult in many ways especially living in a place like the United States, where

    opportunity and the abundance of choices overwhelms the average person and confuses them..."What AM I supposed to

    do?!" The LESS "civilized" a group is, the more harmonious it is, because they all play their role in nature and the

    universe. But in our everchanging world we live in, our purpose is becoming blurred...

    Just my two

    cents...
    In part, I agree with you. But the problem you cite of wanting more freedom, less responsibility

    is exactly what I am trying to address. It is how we were taught! Unless we change the pattern and teach our

    children to be responsible members of society, our society will continue to decline. Unenforceable laws remove

    personal responsibilty for one's behavoir without adding consequences. As society grows larger and more complex,

    attempting to enforce laws becomes more difficult and contempt for the law increases. It's a downward spiral.

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    Quote Originally Posted by belgareth
    In part,

    I agree with you. But the problem you cite of wanting more freedom, less responsibility is exactly what I am trying

    to address. It is how we were taught! Unless we change the pattern and teach our children to be responsible members

    of society, our society will continue to decline. Unenforceable laws remove personal responsibilty for one's

    behavoir without adding consequences. As society grows larger and more complex, attempting to enforce laws becomes

    more difficult and contempt for the law increases. It's a downward spiral.
    Yes, I understand. I've

    noticed this phenomenon where: 1) Sex, violence, offensive material, and other potential vulgarity stays on the

    rise...while at the same time...2) "Political correctness" also stays on the rise...

    HOW CAN THE TWO

    CO-EXIST?!?!

    How can being "PC" and being sensitive to other people's issues be enforced when the amount of

    offenses being thown around is greater than ever???

    I agree that people aren't being taught responsibility. And

    the way this government and society is set up, they relish that fact, as they take advantage on our crippled minds

    with all kinds of BS. I know TOO MANY people who expect the world handed to them. I was in very unfortunate

    situations the majority of my life, yet it's funny now, because as I have learned what my responsibilities are and

    have taken action, in a lot of ways I am in better shape than my friends with: a stable family, two working parents

    who make six-figures a year, had their car/college paid for, still live off them for money, food, and living

    accommodations, etc...

    My life experiences taught me to appreciate what I have, and unfortunately most people

    take things such as being able to WALK OUTSIDE, WEAR YOUR OWN CLOTHES, BE WITH YOUR FAMILY, SLEEP IN A BED...for

    granted,

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    Damn, you guys are deep...

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    Well, it's GETTING deep, at

    any rate....

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    Quote Originally Posted by handtohandking
    Why

    exactly do certain things work so well to seduce?
    Okay.. Here's my take, based on extensive reading and

    field research. Understand that my quarry is the 25-35 year old, so there may be some things tilted in that

    direction more strongly than the general female population.

    The most important thing is how you carry

    yourself. If you appear confident, comfortable, and competent, you can go nearly anywhere you want.

    Dress

    well.. I wear a tie pretty much every day. Usually, it's something fun, but whether it's dressy or fun, it always

    coordinates with the clothing. I can't say enough about shoes. There have been studies done, and invariably, shoes

    are one of the first measures a woman uses when sizing you up. They tell a woman a lot about you.

    Some things

    trigger socially-trained responses, some innate responses. We like symmetry in all things, potential mates included.

    An aversion to the asymmetrical in physical appearance is an ingrained response. Other things, such as an attraction

    to someone with a flashy car, expensive clothes, etc are both socially trained (he who dies with the most toys wins)

    and innate (someone with disposable income of that level can provide the best start possible for my children).

    Pheromones are the ultimate in innate responses, something that is purely a holdover from our (arguably) less

    evolved past.

    Going to some of the specifics you mentioned.. Eye contact (or conversation, as I've often

    called it) is CRITICAL. Being able to check someone out, let them know you're doing it, and not threatening them in

    doing so (leering at cleavage, for instance) can be DEVASTATING. Even the same facial construction (position of

    eyes, brows, mouth, etc) can be interpreted very differently between a head-on stare and a side-long

    glance.

    Soft music is all about relaxation and feeling at ease. Whether it's something that's familiar,

    such as some jazz standards, or something that's more environmental, such as a babbling brook, they both serve to

    make the environment a more relaxing one. Where one is relaxed, ones guard is down.

    Touch speaks to the inner

    animal in all of us. Whether it's a simple brush of the fingertips on the back of a hand or a preening gesture like

    running your fingers through someone's hair, all imply an emotional closeness mirroring the physical closeness.

    Even if it's something as contrived as falsely brushing an eyelash from the cheek, once you've crossed into the

    "intimate zone" of being allowed inside the 1.5 or so foot boundary, it's something that triggers a very strong

    response to the preening action seen in the animal kingdom.

    Speaking softly is a means to an end. It's a way

    of speaking "warmly" and without tension. You can do so loudly, but it's much more difficult. Again, it's about

    ease, relaxation, and letting the defenses down.

    Looks are a much more difficult one. While there are some

    inherent things (smooth lines, symmetrical appearance), much of what people consider attractive is socially

    conditioned. Some guys prefer waifish women, some soft and curvy women. Some women go for blue eyes, others six pack

    abs. In some circles, a light skinned person is seen as a weakling--one who spends no time outside. In others, a

    darker person is prjudged as of a lower socioeconomic status level who must work outdoors in manual labor.

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    But why does something such

    as, say...soft music...work so well? It certainly calms a woman and makes her comfortable, but what EXACTLY?
    It´doesn´t always work well, it depends on the mood you´re in. Why does it work well on men?
    You have to

    learn that men and women aren´t really that different from one another. Sometimes you´re in a mood for that and at

    others you´re in a mood from someting totally different.
    And sometimes things `work´ not because but despite.


    Don´t think of women as women but as human beings but I have a feeling that most guys will never manage to get

    past the crap sometimes

    Another important thing-pheromones are sensed not smelled,not unless you´re wearing

    an overdose!

  16. #16
    Sadhu
    Join Date
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    Default

    Oh and don´t listent o me when I´m not

    with it

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