One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up,
and she eventually says: "I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said: "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the
words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear ..."You're just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day, I opted to
take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice
lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her
while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take,
so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department, where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipatio! n she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the
cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile. You're just not in
touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight
either
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