One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into

bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up,

and she eventually says: "I

don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said: "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"



So she says the

words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear ..."You're just not in touch with my emotional

needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled

look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day, I opted to

take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out to a nice

lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her

while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take,

so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I

said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department, where she picked out a

pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one

wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis

bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,

"That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipatio! n she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the

cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."



Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"



I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile. You're just not in

touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."



And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me

for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight

either