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  1. #1
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    Default An Insane Situation

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    Hi,

    I'm a newbie

    to the 'mones thing, and I'm seeking a little advice on an interesting situation. I suspect I'm going to get

    flamed for the apparent stupidity of this situation, but here goes...

    Around two months ago my girlfriend of six

    years split up with me and moved in with another man. It was something that had been coming for a while, as I was

    working nightshift and she was working long days, so we never saw much of each other. However, I thought that as

    this was only going to carry on for a few months more we would be able to make it through. Other things like my (at

    the time) mild depression/social insecurity contributed too, but I never expected the two of us to split.



    Directly after the break up, I was distraught, and my depression went full blown, as all my dreams had just been

    ripped away from me. Two months in, I still feel a lot of pain, but Citalopram (similar to Prozac) and time have

    made the situation easier to deal with.

    This, however, is where it gets complicated...

    In a couple of weeks,

    my ex will be moving back in, but still maintaining her relationship with the new man. This is because all three of

    us are travelling together to New Zealand in three months. Basically, this is a arrangement of convenience, as she

    needs the money from my house to live in NZ, and I need the money from her car to get us out there while I wait for

    the funds from the house to clear. The boyfriend coming was a unexpected and unpleasent addition, but she's grown

    attatched to him, and refused to go without him.

    Anyways, I'm interested in trying a few products to change the

    situation for a number of reasons. I am interested in getting my ex back, but I'm no longer at the 'I

    can't live without her' situation. I'm also interested in just trying to be more sucessful in social situations,

    so if she ever does have any doubts about her current partner, I seem like a good option. Remember I have time on my

    side here, over a year to impliment any kind of strategy.

    I know a lot of people will tell me to walk away and

    give her some space, but the whole New Zealand situation makes that difficult, and I really need to go through with

    that because I hate the place I live, and desperately need to escape it for my own mental wellbeing.

    Anyways,

    the two products I have my eye on at the moment are SOE and AE/m, for both social situations and hopefully appearing

    more desirable to my ex. Is this a good choice, or should I be looking at other products?

    NB: I am aware that

    the success of these products depends on the person using them, and I'm also aware that they are not a miracle

    potion. I'm just after some basic succestions to start working from and testing.

  2. #2
    Pheromaniac Sexyredhead's Avatar
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    I'd tell her he can't come,

    and if she doesn't want to come either, that's fine. It's not good for you or your depression to be put in the

    role of unwanted third wheel and left out of everything unless you want to sit and watch them be happy together

    knowing that another guy has your girl.
    "I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!"

    --Calvin & Hobbes

  3. #3
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    Trouble is that if she's forced to

    make that desicion, she will choose to stay with him. That means I won't be able to go either, and I'll be stuck

    in a mundane job in a dead end town full of smack addicts. (Trust me, the U.K. isn't all it's made out to be.)



    I can cope with dealing with seeing them together, as he is a pretty nice bloke who I get on with well, and I am

    still very good mates with her. For six years we were 40% lovers and 60% bloody good mates. Obviously the lovers

    part is gone but the 60% remains. I'm prepared to wait and do other things by myself, but I'd also like to present

    a viable alternative as a lover, not just a friend, if things should ever go sour between them.

    Obviously if I

    belived 'mones could manipulate the situation further than that, I would go for it, but from reading your forum,

    that seems unlikely.

  4. #4
    Phero Dude DZorro's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam
    Hi,

    I'm a newbie

    to the 'mones thing, and I'm seeking a little advice on an interesting situation. I suspect I'm going to get

    flamed for the apparent stupidity of this situation, but here goes...

    Around two months ago my girlfriend of six

    years split up with me and moved in with another man. It was something that had been coming for a while, as I was

    working nightshift and she was working long days, so we never saw much of each other. However, I thought that as

    this was only going to carry on for a few months more we would be able to make it through. Other things like my (at

    the time) mild depression/social insecurity contributed too, but I never expected the two of us to split.



    Directly after the break up, I was distraught, and my depression went full blown, as all my dreams had just been

    ripped away from me. Two months in, I still feel a lot of pain, but Citalopram (similar to Prozac) and time have

    made the situation easier to deal with.

    This, however, is where it gets complicated...

    In a couple of weeks,

    my ex will be moving back in, but still maintaining her relationship with the new man. This is because all three of

    us are travelling together to New Zealand in three months. Basically, this is a arrangement of convenience, as she

    needs the money from my house to live in NZ, and I need the money from her car to get us out there while I wait for

    the funds from the house to clear. The boyfriend coming was a unexpected and unpleasent addition, but she's grown

    attatched to him, and refused to go without him.

    Anyways, I'm interested in trying a few products to change the

    situation for a number of reasons. I am interested in getting my ex back, but I'm no longer at the 'I

    can't live without her' situation. I'm also interested in just trying to be more sucessful in social situations,

    so if she ever does have any doubts about her current partner, I seem like a good option. Remember I have time on my

    side here, over a year to impliment any kind of strategy.

    I know a lot of people will tell me to walk away and

    give her some space, but the whole New Zealand situation makes that difficult, and I really need to go through with

    that because I hate the place I live, and desperately need to escape it for my own mental wellbeing.

    Anyways,

    the two products I have my eye on at the moment are SOE and AE/m, for both social situations and hopefully appearing

    more desirable to my ex. Is this a good choice, or should I be looking at other products?

    NB: I am aware that

    the success of these products depends on the person using them, and I'm also aware that they are not a miracle

    potion. I'm just after some basic succestions to start working from and testing.
    It's just like you put

    in, the begining of your thread, it's defanantly an insane situation. But looking at too what your trying to

    accomplish. it's a bit hard for anyone here too tell you, since she known you for along time like you put it.



    But Speaking from my own experiance, mones itself did not help me much with people i have known for a long time, i

    actually see greater results with people who i didn't known at all. The most the mone can do for you, in this

    situation, is to make people more friendly towards you. Like you put it you want to buy SOE, that will only make

    people more friendly towards you. If your trying to get sexual hits however you would be better off trying something

    like TE/m, NPA/m or like you said AE/m, but if your thinking that mones is some magical potion, it is not. It's

    still you who's going to make a diffrents.

    I'm not trying to come down hard on you, but your also said that

    you had some trouble with depression ??
    But putting yourself out like that, and if it's goes out badly, will

    probebly make your depression even worse then it is now, are ready to take the heat when it comes out to that ?? The

    only real advice i can give you right now , is give yourself more time. I think it is too soon to put yourself on

    the line like that.

    But that's just my opnion, so it should not count for anything, it's still you who's

    gonna have to make that dicision.


    DZorro,
    If it ain't broken don't fix it.

  5. #5
    Administrator Bruce's Avatar
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    Sam,

    If it were me, I'd have

    to go with SRH's advice, but from your response, it does sound like you might have a better time for the moment

    getting out of the UK for a while. Who knows, you might meet Ms. Right or Ms. Right-now anyway, while you are over

    there. NZ is supposed to be a beautiful place. See if you can find a job while you are over there and let your

    would be GF and her new BF go home without you. Long-term of course, move on; find someone new.

    SOE and AE

    are both good products; probably numbers 1 and 2 in terms of sales; the difference being, the aNONE. Age is often

    the deciding factor. Young guys are usually better off with SOE. AE gives you a little extra shot of

    alpha.

    Good luck,
    Bruce

  6. #6
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    Sorry, should have mentioned age -

    I'm 23, but probably low on hormones/pheramones as I've always been non-aggressive and somewhat feminine. (Jesus

    that sounds bad.)

    Cheers for the advice. Pretty much as Bruce said, NZ for me is the lesser of two evils,

    despite the complications. I'm definitely not ruling out the possibility of meeting Ms. Right out there - hell,

    it'd be the easiest way to gain residency after my year Visa runs out. I'm just keeping my options open on my ex,

    and seeing how things pan out.

    Sounds like SOE and AE are my purchases then!

  7. #7
    Phero Dude DCW's Avatar
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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by Sam
    Sorry, should have

    mentioned age - I'm 23, but probably low on hormones/pheramones as I've always been non-aggressive and somewhat

    feminine. (Jesus that sounds bad.)

    Cheers for the advice. Pretty much as Bruce said, NZ for me is the lesser of

    two evils, despite the complications. I'm definitely not ruling out the possibility of meeting Ms. Right out there

    - hell, it'd be the easiest way to gain residency after my year Visa runs out. I'm just keeping my options open on

    my ex, and seeing how things pan out.

    Sounds like SOE and AE are my purchases then!
    I think you

    just found your answer, try and keep a positive outlook by looking ahead to a fresh start in New Zealand.




    DCW

  8. #8
    Phero Dude DZorro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sam
    Sorry, should have

    mentioned age - I'm 23, but probably low on hormones/pheramones as I've always been non-aggressive and somewhat

    feminine. (Jesus that sounds bad.)

    Cheers for the advice. Pretty much as Bruce said, NZ for me is the lesser of

    two evils, despite the complications. I'm definitely not ruling out the possibility of meeting Ms. Right out there

    - hell, it'd be the easiest way to gain residency after my year Visa runs out. I'm just keeping my options open on

    my ex, and seeing how things pan out.

    Sounds like SOE and AE are my purchases then!
    Well in that

    case TE/m NPA/m or even AE/m would do you a world of good. Excersise alot too would help give you a positive view of

    life.

    If you are going to use SOE, use very little of it.
    It won't help you much, if you used too much of

    it.

    [always been non-aggressive and somewhat feminine.]

    Since your somewhat non-aggressive. Using too much

    nol, will probebly backfire in your situation.


    DZorro,
    If it ain't broken don't fix it.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by DZorro
    Well in that case TE/m

    NPA/m or even AE/m would do you a world of good. Excersise alot too would help give you a positive view of life.



    If you are going to use SOE, use very little of it.
    It won't help you much, if you used too much of it.



    [always been non-aggressive and somewhat feminine.]

    Since your somewhat non-aggressive. Using too much nol,

    will probebly backfire in your situation.


    DZorro,
    I'm interested in knowing a little more of your

    thinking here. As a more laid back person, I wass worried about the effects of -none on other men around, and my

    ability to deal with that. Thinking about it though, I guess the -none will also boost my ability to deal with any

    situation like that.

    Out of interest, can -nol actually backfire in any destructive way. (Similar to the

    -none/menstral cycle thing) I always got the impression it's main effect was to make people friendly?
    Last edited by Sam; 06-25-2004 at 08:00 AM. Reason: Spelling Errors

  10. #10
    Phero Dude DZorro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sam
    I'm interested in

    knowing a little more of your thinking here. As a more laid back person, I wass worried about the effects of -none

    on other men around, and my ability to deal with that. Thinking about it though, I guess the -none will also boost

    my ability to deal with any situation like that.

    Out of interest, can -nol actually backfire in any destructive

    way. (Similar to the -none/menstral cycle thing) I always got the impression it's main effect was to make people

    friendly?
    Actually nol's effect is to make people more friendly. But it works diffrently for

    everybody.Well nol will not be as destructive as none would. I can only tell what has happend to me. But everbody

    will tell it diffrently. But you can tell to whom noll will be better suited. If you are a lonewolf like some people

    here at the forum would tell you, then you will bennifit from nol, but if you are not a lonewolf you might benefit

    from none.

    It's kind of difficult to explane. But a lonewolf is someone who is inapproachable. But in your case

    you are already approachable. So you are defanatly not a lonewolf. But i think i leave it to someone who can

    explaine it better then me.

    People who are sociable would benefit more from none, in my opinion.




    DZorro,
    If it ain't broken don't fix it.

  11. #11
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    You are 23 and have been

    with her for 6 years, you started with her when you were 17? You need to get your pride back first. Just get a

    part-time job, forget your current situation and just work your ass off till you save up a bunch of money and get

    the proceeds from the house sale too (why on earth would you give her some of the proceeds so she can live in NZ

    anyways??). Then go where you please without her. Sure, a tough suggestion but in the end you'll be better for

    it, everyone suffers sometimes and it makes them stronger. And, don't let her move back in with you, she'll only

    be in the way after you meet someone else at your part-time job cause you'll have bought some mones and will

    succeed!!!

  12. #12
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    I'm paying some money out to help

    her in NZ because under UK law, she could quite easily sting me for half of everything I own, even though we never

    married. That would cost me to the tune of £20,000 ($37,000) plus legal fees. As she's a good friend, she wouldn't

    do that, and has made it quite clear she wouldn't. Basically I'm paying for her as I would owe her that money (she

    payed as much into the morgage as me) and I feel it's the right thing to do for a friend.

    I'm not going to fall

    into the trap of resenting her because she left me. There were a lot of surrounding circumstances, and the break up

    was at least 50% my fault.

    Ultimately, the point of my original post was to get some advice on pheramones that

    may help me appear more attractive to her, but also that would help me move on in my life in general.

  13. #13
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    you didn't say it was half

    her house to begin with so I made a logical assumption. Ok - so you wanna win her back, use some mones as suggested

    by others, don't use them till you are all on the plane though. Or, better yet, send me the proceeds of the house

    sale, it'll be easier on your psyche in the long run, honest!!!

  14. #14
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    Sam, you need to get this girl

    out of your life and move on with your own. Young guys never figure out that they cannot change a woman's mind.

    If you have a chance at getting her back at all, it is only by moving on with your life and letting her see that you

    are happy and content with that. She MIGHT, if the other boyfriend is an obnoxious bore, decide she made a

    mistake.

    Right now, in her eyes, you're just a needy desperate guy with no backbone who will compromise on

    anything just to be near her. She is not feeling any attraction for you and continuing in this situation won't

    make her feel more attracted to you, but less.

    You ALREADY resent her. You are clearly going through some

    major hurt .And there is no shame in admitting that -- we all feel that way when a long-term relationship ends. I

    was devastated when a 10-year relationship came to a grinding halt. I got emotionally whomped, like all men do when

    they don't want the relationship to end.

    In my case, she DID try to come back a year-and-a-half later. And I

    think I exercised good sense in staying away from her. That was one of the hardest things I ever had to do as an

    adult, because my feelings for her were still strong.

    But we were just not meant to be together, and I moved

    on.

    You need to find the strength to do that, too.

    Half of everything you own is a small price to pay for

    getting this girl out of your life. Neither of you will be happy as long as you keep trying to cling to this hope

    for a return to the past. There is no going back.

  15. #15
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    dude listen to friendly there

    .. he's on the ball ... what you need to do is move on with your live - but i suggest not to get anyother chick and

    anything show her you can live a good lonely live ... if she means nothing to you then it shouldn't be hard to get

    a chick but if she does mean something to you then don't get one .. just let her space and let her be with her guy

    -- Trust me noone can forget someone they have been with (especially when it's 6yrs known person ... ) it might be

    hard bro but life is tuff besides there are lot more fishes out there .. and uk it's pretty crowd so your bond to

    find one.
    Last edited by kossBass; 06-25-2004 at 01:15 PM.

  16. #16
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    Sam,

    I'm going to agree

    with KossBass here, friendly1 is right. To even have a chance at winner her back you have to move on and truly

    change/improve yourself. You're really hurting right now and living with her again w/o being in that relationship

    is going to remind you of all of this hurt, over, and over, and over . . . . (until you go insane )You need

    space. It took a long time to get into this deep relationship, it's going to take an equal amount of time to climb

    yourself out of it. This is a time for you to be selfish, i.e. be good to yourself, have some fun, etc . . .

    .

    Try to figure out an arrangement in which the two of you aren't around each other and still be able to go to

    NZ. Otherwise, you are going to have to pick the lesser of two bad

    situations.
    _____________________
    -SwingerMD
    It Don't Mean a Thing if it ain't got that swing. . . . -Duke Ellington

  17. #17
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    I hate to be harsh but along

    with agreeing with Swinger, Friendly and Koss, I think this woman is/has a real problem. She leaves you, and she has

    to know it hurts, then demands that she bring her new boyfriend to live with you and her? At the least it's a

    callous disregard for you and your feelings.

    Run...fast and far! You don't need that in your life and I doubt

    you want it either.

  18. #18
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    On the other hand, if you can

    survive this, you can survive (almost) anything....

    Sure let them come and use their money (as you stated you

    needed it) but then do your own thing when you get to NZ (great place, really friendly, better than OZ in my

    opinion) leave them to their own devices.

    I call this kinda stuff 'character building', but then that's

    what people say to kids when they want them to do a difficult task that they dont personally want to do.



    Use it as an opportunity to prove to her and yourself that you are over her.

    Cheers, and I hope

    it goes well for ya.

    Steve
    "...and from that egg, hatched a stone monkey!" (Newton)

  19. #19
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    ooohh.. or alternatively, go to

    somewhere within Europe.

    You need no visa (cuz you're a member of the EU) and life is good, and the flights

    wont cost so much etc etc etc....

    And to think many in britain want out of Europe. Bad call, I

    think.

    Steve
    "...and from that egg, hatched a stone monkey!" (Newton)

  20. #20
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    I'm gonna side with the posse

    on this one.

    If you go, though, maybe wear a massive OD of -none and -rone everyday to make everyone else

    miserable and start a few fights with the new beau!
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  21. #21
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    hah (blah i need 10

    chars)

  22. #22
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    Sam,

    I really think

    it's a bad idea to actively chase this girl. You will just end up looking desperate, which will make her push you

    further away and just make you feel worse. From your posts you seem like a very decent guy, but learning that the

    most important person in your life is you is a very important person. Disregarding the whole money NZ issue, you

    need to start laying down the law and sticking up for yourself. I can only imagine what it is like to be in your

    position, but I think it's a safe bet to say that finding your self respect and doing only what's good for number

    one for a change will improve things greatly.

    You say you are in a dead end job. Well for chrissakes man do

    something about it
    Whatever it takes, be it in NZ or the UK, get some direction and get motivated, perhaps get

    some extra qualifications/training. I guarantee that people (including your ex) will respect you much more if

    you grab your life by the balls and take it somewhere you want to go.

    I doubt you really needed to hear that

    and would prefer some advice regarding your girl, but I think the problem is deeper than that. In general I

    wouldn't advise going back to an ex, but I don't know anything about her or your relationship, and ultimately the

    decision is in your hands, it's just that it seems as though she is causing you problems. Either way, I think it

    would be a good idea for you to mix with some new women, if only to give yourself some perspective.

    Regarding

    the 'mones (Sam:"finally!"), I would recommend getting TE with AE and SOE. It's only £15 or so pounds more, and it

    lasts a long time if you dab it on, and it's really good for adding a little more "animal" to both of those

    products.

    Good luck

  23. #23
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    I don't think mones apply

    at all in this situation. The only way that I know works to get a woman back is to let her see you, happily, with

    another woman, preferably more attractive than her. If that doesn't get her back, nothing will. Women are

    attracted to strength, not weakness. Be strong.

  24. #24
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    I personally think she is

    using you because it seems your a softy. How is it going to end? They move in your house start bumping ugly and you

    have to listen to that going on. If your depressed now wait till you go through that. Your emotions are going to go

    out of control and you will feel worse in the long run. It is not easy to let go but this is like committing

    emotional suicide. Don't do it, there are plenty of fine women out there that would love to be with you. you just

    have to actively seek them out. Don't let this gal play you for a sucker. She knows you have feelings for her and

    she knows you will do anything for her therefore make sure she is absoulutely being honest with you before you

    accept this deal.

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    Yep, Burgerama is 100%

    correct - how you gonna feel when they get all lovey-dovey in your 1/2 house? They'll probably start plotting how

    to get all that money from you seeing that you won't stand up and be proud. If you think these suggestions/ideas

    are mean, believe once that there might be older/wiser guys on here that know what the hell they are talking

    about.

  26. #26
    Moderator Mtnjim's Avatar
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    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by koolking1
    If you think

    these suggestions/ideas are mean, believe once that there might be older/wiser guys on here that know what the hell

    they are talking about.
    Yes, the only difference between us old farts and you young guys is we've

    made the stupid mistakes you haven't had time to.
    Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
    --Lazarus Long

  27. #27
    Sadhu
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    Sam, right now I´m not even gonna make

    comments about your situation as you seem to know what you´re doing and it sounds like you´re okay with it. Sounds

    like going out and about is what you need and it ought to be a good thing for you I hope you enjoy the experience.



    Out of interest, can -nol actually backfire in any destructive way.
    It is actually possible

    to OD on nol so don´t use too much at once.
    SOE and AE are good choices imo. As for socializing I love the effect

    AFA has so (as usual) I recommend it too

    CJ

  28. #28
    Journeyman Red Stripe's Avatar
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    You are setting yourself up

    for disaster, Sam. Like others have said, this girl is completely indifferent to how you feel, maybe bordering on

    trying to hurt you. Going to NZ sounds awesome, but...think about all those hours of feeling like the 5th

    wheel. You are going to have to watch the girl you love(d) being romantic with another guy - almost every day. Even

    worse maybe, if you are living together, you are going to have to hear them getting it on as well. That will

    tear you apart I'm afraid. Definitely not healthy for you.

    I had a gf similar to you - we were together for so

    long, and it was SO hard to break away from that. Change is hard. She is part of you now, your personalities are a

    perfect match etc. But you have to go forward and find yourself again. By finding the right person, job, city,

    mindset - Life can turn around in an instant.

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrSmellThis
    I'm gonna side

    with the posse on this one.

    If you go, though, maybe wear a massive OD of -none and -rone everyday to make

    everyone else miserable and start a few fights with the new beau!
    Sam, i'l have to aggree with

    the good docter on this one, wear lot's of none, and let's rumble .




    DZorro,
    If it ain't broken don't fix it.

  30. #30
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    Good points all, and well

    made.

    Two people made points that well illustrate what I'm thinking:

    "On the other hand, if you can

    survive this, you can survive (almost) anything..."


    I believe I can survive this, and most

    importantly it adds to a belief I've had through life that you should never regret anything because

    everything is an experience that adds to your life, even if it's a bad experience. I also appreciate that

    there are people on this board who are offering me sound advice, based on life experience, and I respect that. There

    are times in life though, when you have to make your own mistakes and learn by them, and even though I may well be

    making a mistake, I feel it's something that it's better for me to do.

    "...right now I´m not even gonna

    make comments about your situation as you seem to know what you´re doing and it sounds like you´re okay with

    it..."


    Absolutely, as I've kinda said above. It may sound strange, but I would be able to cope quite easily

    with seeing/hearing them together, and as I stated before, I get on well with both as friends. My expression of

    interest in pheremones was not just related to my past relationship, but also as a tool for future ventures. Perhaps

    I should have made that clearer in the beginning.

    Anyway, thanks to everyone who replied with advice. Hopefully

    when my order gets here I will be posting on here to let you know how I get along with the 'mones.

    Ta.

    S.

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