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  1. #31
    Pheromaniac Sexyredhead's Avatar
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    visit-red-300x50PNG
    And if it's hard for you to

    remember things about people, like names (I'm very guilty of this ) repeat things back to them during the

    conversation without sounding like a robot. It will help YOU remember better if you say

    them.

    Examples:

    "Nice to meet you, Rob."

    "Wow! Harvard. Really?"

    "I've never been to

    Pennsylvania. What's it like?"

    "And that was after they sewed your thumb back on? Crazy!"

    It

    keeps the conversation going, and helps little brains like mine remember different people, especially if I meet a

    lot of people at once.
    "I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!"

    --Calvin & Hobbes

  2. #32
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
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    .......
    DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)

  3. #33
    Bodhi Satva CptKipling's Avatar
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    Great post Matt



    It's very important to keep the conversation stimulating. Three of the most obvious ways of doing

    this are: Finding some common ground to talk about (not best used in clubs. If used, it's not the most direct

    sexually aggressive method, so projecting interest in other ways is important); humour (great for any situation,

    full stop. You really can go anywhere very easily with humour, all you need is practice...and a sense of humour

    ); the skip-the-small-talk "let's talk about sex" method ('nuff said? Remember the kino!).





    Synonymous with the above, keeping her interest is also important. A nice way to do this is

    something I like to call the "hot and cold" method, which may sound very much like the lame pick up guy type talk,

    but it describes something quite simple involving showing restraint and staying cool. Basically, start off the

    conversation however you like (as if you were picking her up), and then walk off or start talking to someone else

    just before you settle in. The timing isn't that important, just as long as she is still actually talking with you

    when you break the conversation. Don't announce your departure too thoroughly (i.e don't excuse yourself), just

    find a suitable point and go (note: you don't want to appear a player, so just talk to your mates, but make sure

    you left to do something). Hopefully, this will have left her thinking you are a fun guy

    that she would have at least talked to for a while longer. If this is obviously not the case, take this opportunity

    to escape. The next step is to get talking to her again. Again, timing is not important, in fact overly planning or

    forcing any pick up will end in failure 90% of the time. When you talk to her this time, you need to project your

    interest in talking to her. Turn your body to face her's gradually (and other interest projecting body language),

    make her think that you are really interested in what she has to say, perhaps even initiate some mild kino by softly

    touching her arm by the elbow, etc. Your aim is to make her feel good about talking to you and being around you, and

    putting your focus on her will help achieve this. You should also remain cool, confident and funny (or

    entertaining). Once again, when she is nicely warmed up to you, remove your attention. When you talk to her for the

    third time, let her do most of the work. If you had her warmed up when you stopped talking to her, she will be keen

    to pick up where you left off.



    By doing the above you should

    have achieved the following: come across as a confident, fun guy who isn't despirate. You could go out and try it

    exactly as I wrote it, but think of that as an experiment, it's best to think of any "technique" as something to

    augment you current approach, keeping everything flexable. You could also just do it all in one conversation, simply

    by making sure to keep the conversation moving onto the "next level" (how many steps you make it to and how fast

    depends on what your aims are), or at least keeping it entertaining.



    A classic example of

    this I posted on here ages ago. I was with a friend at a party at a bar/small club and his gf was meeting him. When

    she came she brought a friend, and I took the piss out of her about her choice of drink and chatted for a minute,

    and then turned to my friend. We then went to sit down with some other people and got chatting to her again. After a

    while I broke off again to chat to some other people (I think to the Birthday girl), and then came and sat with my

    friend again, and she started talking to me. iirc we ended up having a really good convo, but that was it (I had a

    gf at the time).

  4. #34
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    wow nice post there

    bro.. you got my rep

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by surfs_up
    You want to

    study Improvisation (often called Improv). This is a class exercise where the group suggests a dramatic moment of

    some form, say, you are both walking your dog and happen to have identical breeds and bump into each other and then

    you have to invent the conversation for a minute of two. Improv isn't scripted. There is no memorizing lines. You

    take the situation as it is given to you and invent the dramatic interaction. You'll learn a huge amount about how

    to socially improvise on your feet. If the teacher is good, he or she will give you feedback on what you need to

    work on, where to focus you attention, how to get unstuck from a dead spot in the scene, how to change rythms, what

    an emotional beat is. It's super basic nuts and bolts work on how to be social in an effective way. Imagine that

    you have to do a scene where you try to pick up a beautiful girl in front of a class of twenty people. Think you're

    self conscious now ? Then those twenty people tell you in detail what your strengths and weaknesses are. You can't

    get better instruction than that. Actors are paid on the basis of how well they can communicate emotion. They work

    hard to master it. If you're exceptionally good you make 20 million dollars to do it in front of a camera. The

    actors that are paid millions have gone to their share of classes. How many of your friends would you pay money to

    watch them try and hook up with a girl, that it would be that compelling a performance ?
    I see, I

    see. It seems so beneficial. Why? Because you are getting constant practice that doesn't totaly count. Also you get

    the dibs on what your doing wrong or how you can improve your game. Instead of walking away saying to yourself

    "Wonder if it was something I said? She totaly shifted gears on me then it went no-where", You get pointers on what

    took place in your interaction that probably changed her vibe towards you.
    This could not only work for man-women

    social skills but for all of your social interactions. I am going to look into it.
    Thanks so much and if you

    want to add more to this I would surely read it.
    Happy

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by CptKipling
    Great post

    Matt

    It's very important to keep the conversation stimulating. Three of the most

    obvious ways of doing this are: Finding some common ground to talk about (not best used in clubs. If used, it's not

    the most direct sexually aggressive method, so projecting interest in other ways is important); humour (great for

    any situation, full stop. You really can go anywhere very easily with humour, all you need is practice...and a sense

    of humour ); the skip-the-small-talk "let's talk about sex" method ('nuff said? Remember the

    kino!).



    Synonymous with the above, keeping her interest is also important. A nice

    way to do this is something I like to call the "hot and cold" method, which may sound very much like the lame pick

    up guy type talk, but it describes something quite simple involving showing restraint and staying cool. Basically,

    start off the conversation however you like (as if you were picking her up), and then walk off or start talking to

    someone else just before you settle in. The timing isn't that important, just as long as she is still actually

    talking with you when you break the conversation. Don't announce your departure too thoroughly (i.e don't excuse

    yourself), just find a suitable point and go (note: you don't want to appear a player, so just talk to your mates,

    but make sure you left to do something). Hopefully, this will have left her thinking you

    are a fun guy that she would have at least talked to for a while longer. If this is obviously not the case, take

    this opportunity to escape. The next step is to get talking to her again. Again, timing is not important, in fact

    overly planning or forcing any pick up will end in failure 90% of the time. When you talk to her this time, you need

    to project your interest in talking to her. Turn your body to face her's gradually (and other interest projecting

    body language), make her think that you are really interested in what she has to say, perhaps even initiate some

    mild kino by softly touching her arm by the elbow, etc. Your aim is to make her feel good about talking to you and

    being around you, and putting your focus on her will help achieve this. You should also remain cool, confident and

    funny (or entertaining). Once again, when she is nicely warmed up to you, remove your attention. When you talk to

    her for the third time, let her do most of the work. If you had her warmed up when you stopped talking to her, she

    will be keen to pick up where you left off.



    By doing the above you

    should have achieved the following: come across as a confident, fun guy who isn't

    despirate. You could go out and try it exactly as I wrote it, but think of that as an experiment, it's best to

    think of any "technique" as something to augment you current approach, keeping everything flexable. You could also

    just do it all in one conversation, simply by making sure to keep the conversation moving onto the "next level" (how

    many steps you make it to and how fast depends on what your aims are), or at least keeping it

    entertaining.



    A classic example of this I posted on here ages ago. I was with a

    friend at a party at a bar/small club and his gf was meeting him. When she came she brought a friend, and I took the

    piss out of her about her choice of drink and chatted for a minute, and then turned to my friend. We then went to

    sit down with some other people and got chatting to her again. After a while I broke off again to chat to some other

    people (I think to the Birthday girl), and then came and sat with my friend again, and she started talking to me.

    iirc we ended up having a really good convo, but that was it (I had a gf at the time).
    Wow.

    Very useful post.
    Good part for me:
    You're very right. You know I have done the Hot and Cold thing many times

    and that really gets them interested. You are playing their game on them.
    Bad Part for me:
    I did it

    unconsciously. lol I didn't try to do it that way it just happend. I never even knew what took place that got her

    interested. Now, Thanks to your post I do. I am going to consciously try it the next time I get the chance.


    You're right. The real way to get a women wanting more and more is to get her warmed up and then slip away without

    being rude. They stay warm that way. You never give them the chance to change gears on you because you have did it

    to them first. Instead of controlling the game they are now in a wanting position and are intriged. Great

    observation you have made.
    Any more tips?
    Happy

  7. #37
    Bodhi Satva CptKipling's Avatar
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    As I posted in my last post,

    another crucial aspect to your conversation is to keep it moving in the direction you want to take it. If you want

    to get her in bed, advance the conversation in steps towards that goal. I find that to be a good way to visualise

    it, but basically just don't get stuck talking about the weather or whater, keep moving onto stimulating topics and

    see where it takes you.

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