Ladies I need your help

[Kusro]

I am a newbie

with Pheros. I am happily married for 20 years. I bought TA and PPA. Tried to use both separately and in combination

to try
to liven up things in the bedroom a bit. When we do have sex, we do really have a good time. It is the

frequency which has got so less that I feel frustrated that makes think about sex all the time.
Whenever I used

the pheros the only thing that I got was that she snugged too comfortably close to me and had a very deep sleep.

What pheros can I use that will waken her desires for more action in the bedroom? I am so good at massaging that

when I finish she is sound asleep.
What pheros do you use on yourselves if you really wanted to feel really

turned on?
Regards,
Kusro.

[JustPeachy]

Kusro, the best things I'm

hearing around here are about Chikara. It's not a major turn on (for me), but it's relaxing and pleasant to be

around. I think you'd probably have to check the guy's hit reports to see what they find really works for them.



There was a recent thread

[http://pherolibrary.com/forum/show

thread.php?t=10527] where another guy was asking pretty much the same question, and I thought the best advice

he got was to rely less on the -mones and think more about changing her expectations. Some of it was about practical

matters, and some of it was just horsing around and remembering to have fun (those were pretty much my ideas). Where

men tend to be more visual, we're more...environmental. And we still have to be courted, even after years and

years. If you set the stage well (including leaving home and going to a really nice hotel, if you can), make some

minor changes (such as wearing a new scent), and show up with some small token of your affections (diamonds are fab,

Godiva is excellent, but daisies will usually get it done), you stand a much better chance of taking her out of the

rut she's in. It's possible she's tired, or bored, or suffers from low libido (which is treatable). We go through

lots of changes caused by pregnancies, aging, lifestyle - all kinds of stuff, and we don't always take all those

changes lightly. It's a girl thing. You don't have to fix it. You just have to know it's there and remember not

to take it personally.

It's possible she harbors some unresolved resentment or other. I will certainly

guarantee that after all this time, you have managed to piss her off in at least a thousand different ways. You only

have to worry about the gripes you don't respond to, and the ones she doesn't voice. But I would also just about

guarantee that there was a time when she thought you hung the moon, that you were the studliest dude on the planet,

and that she misses that time very much, whether she says so or not. So talk to her about it. Take a little stroll

down memory lane. The early stuff. Remind her how crazy you were about her, etc. Play whatever music you both liked

at the time. Take her back to a place you went back then. Ask her point blank what it was that made her love you.

She'll remember.

You can probably make it all happen, but you have to make a space for it to happen in (that's

the provider thing at work). So there's your project. If it's really that important to you, you'll make it job

one, and you won't stop if any one thing doesn't work. You'll tinker with it like a high performance engine and

give it the same rapt attention. Forget your gonads for a bit and think about making her feel like a princess. A

princess is a happy girl, and a happy girl is a sexy girl, and the guy who makes a girl feel like a princess is the

guy who gets the goodies fit for a prince.

Happy Tinkering!

[Kusro]

JustPeachy,
Thanks for your well written advise. I thought there was a shortcut by using the pheros! I guess I

was wrong, I have to make her find me as exciting as I was 20 years ago.
I will check out the Chikara thread and

the linked that you posted.
Kusro

[CJ01]

I am a newbie with Pheros.

I am happily married for 20 years. I bought TA and PPA. Tried to use both separately and in combination to try
to

liven up things in the bedroom a bit. When we do have sex, we do really have a good time. It is the frequency which

has got so less that I feel frustrated that makes think about sex all the time.
Whenever I used the pheros the

only thing that I got was that she snugged too comfortably close to me and had a very deep sleep. What pheros can I

use that will waken her desires for more action in the bedroom? I am so good at massaging that when I finish she is

sound asleep.
What pheros do you use on yourselves if you really wanted to feel really turned

on?
Regards,
Kusro.

kusro,

I wouldn´t use pheros to turn myself on but if I had to pick one

it would be EW ie copulins.

We tried to help out another guy a while back

http://pherolibrary.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9706

sadly we never got any feedback. But there´s some tips in that thread to think about.

Massage is great but

when you get it when you´re already tired it can very easily make you go to sleep So you can either use a

massage when she is not tired or you stop in time and get sexier instead.
A massage in the morning when she´s

still in bed could work wonders imo.

I´m not sure about TE,I´m surprised that she falls asleep from it rather

than get irritable which is what it does to me, but perhaps it just gives her such a phero buzz and makes her drousy

which will cause her to snooze off.

PPA is fragranced so unless your wife really digs the scent I wouldn´t

bother with it but who knows.

Something like AFA can help her to perk up, and for making yourself sexier AE m or

f or even PI/w which is nol .

I don´t recommend wearing cops yourself at least not EW,PCC perhaps but only a

little.

What pheros do you use on yourselves if you really wanted to feel really turned on?

got any porn at home?

CJ

[Elana]

Kusro, the best

things I'm hearing around here are about Chikara. It's not a major turn on (for me), but it's relaxing and

pleasant to be around. I think you'd probably have to check the guy's hit reports to see what they find really

works for them.

There was a recent thread

[http://pherolibrary.com/forum/show

thread.php?t=10527] where another guy was asking pretty much the same question, and I thought the best advice

he got was to rely less on the -mones and think more about changing her expectations. Some of it was about practical

matters, and some of it was just horsing around and remembering to have fun (those were pretty much my ideas). Where

men tend to be more visual, we're more...environmental. And we still have to be courted, even after years and

years. If you set the stage well (including leaving home and going to a really nice hotel, if you can), make some

minor changes (such as wearing a new scent), and show up with some small token of your affections (diamonds are fab,

Godiva is excellent, but daisies will usually get it done), you stand a much better chance of taking her out of the

rut she's in. It's possible she's tired, or bored, or suffers from low libido (which is treatable). We go through

lots of changes caused by pregnancies, aging, lifestyle - all kinds of stuff, and we don't always take all those

changes lightly. It's a girl thing. You don't have to fix it. You just have to know it's there and remember not

to take it personally.

It's possible she harbors some unresolved resentment or other. I will certainly

guarantee that after all this time, you have managed to piss her off in at least a thousand different ways. You only

have to worry about the gripes you don't respond to, and the ones she doesn't voice. But I would also just about

guarantee that there was a time when she thought you hung the moon, that you were the studliest dude on the planet,

and that she misses that time very much, whether she says so or not. So talk to her about it. Take a little stroll

down memory lane. The early stuff. Remind her how crazy you were about her, etc. Play whatever music you both liked

at the time. Take her back to a place you went back then. Ask her point blank what it was that made her love you.

She'll remember.

You can probably make it all happen, but you have to make a space for it to happen in (that's

the provider thing at work). So there's your project. If it's really that important to you, you'll make it job

one, and you won't stop if any one thing doesn't work. You'll tinker with it like a high performance engine and

give it the same rapt attention. Forget your gonads for a bit and think about making her feel like a princess. A

princess is a happy girl, and a happy girl is a sexy girl, and the guy who makes a girl feel like a princess is the

guy who gets the goodies fit for a prince.

Happy Tinkering!

Everyone give Peachy serious rep

points for this!!!
Another excellent Peachy post.

[Gossamer_2701]

Kusro,

Maybe you

should take a different aproach and focus on mones to make your wife feel sexy and sensual I know a few of the

ladies here have mentioned that AE/w makes them feel very sexy and that is usually the first step in turning up the

heat in the bedroom.

I don't know to much about how certain product make the ladies feel (aside from what some

have posted about AE/w) but I think that you need to make her feel sexy and desired..... maybe mix up some mone

laced lotion or look into aroma therapy using different combos of essential oils and mones.

But most of all....

I think you should bring this up with your wife in a discreet way.... find out why things have decreased in the

bedroom and discuss a way to spice things up. Mention the ladies 'mones to her and see if she'd be willing to give

it a try..... she may not even realize that this is a problem for you.


Best of luck,

Goss

[CJ01]

Mention the ladies 'mones to

her and see if she'd be willing to give it a try.....

totally not keen on this one She should not be

the one using mones but him. Or using the oil burner

find out why things have decreased in the

bedroom

very often it´s not bedroom related at all, she could be stressed in need of a break. Do you

share the workload around the house...etc. There´s lots of ways you can make her feel appreciated and find more

time for lovey dovey stuff.

[Elana]

very often it´s not bedroom

related at all, she could be stressed in need of a break. Do you share the workload around the house...etc. There´s

lots of ways you can make her feel appreciated and find more time for lovey dovey stuff.

Excellent point,

Ms. CJ

[belgareth]

My experience is that even

after years of being together a woman wants to be romanced. You described laying in bed watching TV for a couple

hours then asking her if she wants to fool around; not very romantic.

Everybody here had some good points, you

need to mix and match to come up with something that works. My own suggestions are to start paying attention to her

feelings in general and make her feel special. Seduce her! There are hundreds of little things to do. For no good

reason, walk up behind her and rub her shoulders for a minute then walk away. Or kiss the back of her neck. Bring

her flowers, or better yet, send them to her while she's at work. Call her during the day and take her out to a

nice lunch without the kids. Go home early, arrange for a neighbor or friend to take the kids for the evening. Buy

or prepare a simple dinner with candlelight and wine. Don't let her do any of the clean up either, give her the

whole evening off without pressure. Be friendly, funny, considerate and loving. Not just when you want to get laid,

but as a daily part of your life.

A couple I know take a weekend every other month and run away (That's what

they call it) They leave the kids with a sitter for the weekend and go to a B&B, preferably one with a hot tub, for

a couple days. They also have a couple dates every month where they simply go to dinner and a movie or something

similar, without the kids.

The idea is to bring the romance and fun back into your relationship. It's hard with

kids and jobs and such but if you want to stay happily married, you need to be not just a husband but a lover. And

that doesn't mean just getting sex, it means being that guy she married way back before all the responsibility got

dumped on your shoulders.

I'm not saying it's all your fault, it usually is both people contributing to the

problem. Fixing it isn't going to be easy or quick but with time and effort, it will probably be well worth it. On

last word, just because you are doing things for her, don't let it lead you into becoming subservient to her.

There's a fine balance between being good and becoming a slave.

[Sexyredhead]

Kusro, the

best things I'm hearing around here are about Chikara. It's not a major turn on (for me), but it's relaxing and

pleasant to be around. I think you'd probably have to check the guy's hit reports to see what they find really

works for them.

There was a recent thread

[http://pherolibrary.com/forum/show

thread.php?t=10527] where another guy was asking pretty much the same question, and I thought the best advice

he got was to rely less on the -mones and think more about changing her expectations. Some of it was about practical

matters, and some of it was just horsing around and remembering to have fun (those were pretty much my ideas). Where

men tend to be more visual, we're more...environmental. And we still have to be courted, even after years and

years. If you set the stage well (including leaving home and going to a really nice hotel, if you can), make some

minor changes (such as wearing a new scent), and show up with some small token of your affections (diamonds are fab,

Godiva is excellent, but daisies will usually get it done), you stand a much better chance of taking her out of the

rut she's in. It's possible she's tired, or bored, or suffers from low libido (which is treatable). We go through

lots of changes caused by pregnancies, aging, lifestyle - all kinds of stuff, and we don't always take all those

changes lightly. It's a girl thing. You don't have to fix it. You just have to know it's there and remember not

to take it personally.

It's possible she harbors some unresolved resentment or other. I will certainly

guarantee that after all this time, you have managed to piss her off in at least a thousand different ways. You only

have to worry about the gripes you don't respond to, and the ones she doesn't voice. But I would also just about

guarantee that there was a time when she thought you hung the moon, that you were the studliest dude on the planet,

and that she misses that time very much, whether she says so or not. So talk to her about it. Take a little stroll

down memory lane. The early stuff. Remind her how crazy you were about her, etc. Play whatever music you both liked

at the time. Take her back to a place you went back then. Ask her point blank what it was that made her love you.

She'll remember.

You can probably make it all happen, but you have to make a space for it to happen in

(that's the provider thing at work). So there's your project. If it's really that important to you, you'll make

it job one, and you won't stop if any one thing doesn't work. You'll tinker with it like a high performance

engine and give it the same rapt attention. Forget your gonads for a bit and think about making her feel like a

princess. A princess is a happy girl, and a happy girl is a sexy girl, and the guy who makes a girl feel like a

princess is the guy who gets the goodies fit for a prince.

Happy Tinkering!

E's

right, you deserve serious rep points for this. Because for all the quick fixes and shortcuts that people try to

take, the on thing that's really gonna work in the long run is to make the person you love feel like they're the

most important and most precious thing in the world.

Unfortunately, <frustrated sigh> I still can't

give you rep points, so I'm applauding you from here.

[CJ01]

Ask her point blank what it

was that made her love you.

sorry but this is one thing I would not recommend. Frankly it´s one dumb****

thing you should never ask someone because usually it´s not answerable anyway plus it makes you start analysing in

order to find a possible answer and the romance goes out the window. Romance shouldn´t be analysed because it takes

away the magic that makes it so special. But that´s just how I would feel about it.

Another thing is

that you might think `good question - what did I see in this person...well back then he had a nice ass, hot legs, he

was sporty, paid me more attention,he was romantic... and now he´s turned into a middle-aged git and never even

takes me out for dinner...... time to go out on the pull and pick up some hot young stud!...´ etc
-just an example

of how the mind can go off in the totally wrong direction not saying you´re a boring old fart

[JustPeachy]

sorry but this is

one thing I would not recommend. Frankly it´s one dumb**** thing you should never ask someone because usually it´s

not answerable anyway plus it makes you start analysing in order to find a possible answer and the romance goes out

the window. Romance shouldn´t be analysed because it takes away the magic that makes it so special. But that´s just

how I would feel about it.

Another thing is that you might think `good question - what did I see in

this person...well back then he had a nice ass, hot legs, he was sporty, paid me more attention,he was romantic...

and now he´s turned into a middle-aged git and never even takes me out for dinner...... time to go out on the pull

and pick up some hot young stud!...´ etc
-just an example of how the mind can go off in the totally wrong direction

not saying you´re a boring old fart

Yep. My bad. CJ is right on here. Prolly semantics. I was

thinking more along the lines of personal qualities - not the physical stuff. She may feel like a boring old matron,

and reminding her of that definitely won't help anything.

Although...a lot of women are pretty much programmed

to think family first and disregard their own needs a lot. Most of us brush that stuff off as trivial and cosmetic.

After all, Jr. needs braces and the carpeting needs to be replaced. After 20 years and, I assume, kids and so forth,

she may not feel that she is physically very attractive any more. There're all those things already listed that you

can do to let her know you feel otherwise, but there are also things she might like to do, if she got the idea that

she really could or should. You'd be amazed how a single tiny line or the slightest sag or dimple can decimate a

woman's self-confidence. She might not tell you, but I swear to you - her closest female friend knows EXACTLY what

bugs her most! Enlist that woman to help you choose the next major gift you give her. It may be a trip to a local

spa or a dermatologist or high-end salon, but this is very necessary Princess Activation Stuff(tm). Just tell her

friend you want to give your lady the most incredible Happy Girly Princess thing she can think of. You will SO

score major rep with both of them!

And thanks for the rep, guys! You are toooo cool!

[Ash]

After reading through all these

wonderful thoughts about rekindling the old spark this thought came to me. SCREW IT!!!! Get yourself some young HOT

thang on the side.

Seriously though. This topic comes up quite often. I have a friend I just sent a mail to

who's wife has shut down on him sexually. I like his wife a lot but she's always been a little on the up-tight

side of things. One look at her and you can tell she ain't no Elana. I mean you'd have to use a 4-wheel drive tow

truck to pull an orgasm out of her. She's been 100% shut down on him for two years now so he's been using his

hand. Not my idea of what a marriage is all about but different strokes for different folks. No pun intended. He

tells me that intercourse is painful for her so, understandably, she doesn't do it any more. A mutual friend of

ours suggested the use of another hole. Not an option for this women and she ain't into BJ's either. From a sexual

point of view I never could figure out why he married her but Love is Love.

Anyway I got tired of listening to

his tail(no tail) of woe so I finally told him that Estrogen was her problem. Or lack of Estrogen. Low Est levels

have dried up her Libido and her pussy. I told him it's an easy fix which it is. I told him to do a Google:

estrogen+vagina+menopause. Another good one is pussy+shutdown+frustration+blue+balls. All the info is on the net

on how this stuff works. Researching it and finding an answer is so easy but it gets difficult cuz most women don't

like to talk about plumbing problems. I know his wife well enough to know that she ain't going to want to go there

and that's Estrogen again. NO LIBIDO !!! She's probably always had hormone imbalance issues and has never really

enjoyed sex all that much to begin with so she has no DRIVE to get it fixed and that's a shame cuz she's missing

out on a big part of being a whole women.

When I see these no-knooky Threads come up I always look to the

possible underlying physiological problems first. Is menopause a factor? Is a new birth control pill a factor? Some

pills shut some women down completely. A pill that has been partially shutting a women down sexually with out her

even knowing it may shut her down completely in her mid 40's when menopause starts to hit. Another thing to look at

is Anti depressants. MOST AD's shut down the sex shop for both men and women. ALL these problems have solutions but

the biggest problem is communication between men and women. If you can, you have to talk to her and she has to talk

to you! How important is your marriage?

[DrSmellThis]

Chikara, arouser, A1.



(nice post, AAAAAAAAAAsh)

[Ash]

Chikara, arouser,

A1.

(nice post, AAAAAAAAAAsh)

THANKS

DOC!!!!!

[CJ01]

Ash is making another good point -it

could well be hormones and yes hormone imbalance can start earlier than the actual menopause or rather some start at

a younger age than others.
A health check up would be a good idea,not just for this matter but it´s good in any

case because it´s important anyhow

But maybe it´s not as dramatic at that at all. But you´re the only one

here who can figure it out as you´re the one married to her.

[JustPeachy]

I wouldn't suggest

self-medicating for this without investigating first. There can be lots of reasons for painful intercourse -

endometriosis, cysts, PID, STD's, prolapsed uterus, badly executed hystorectomies and otherwise-screwed-up ligament

tissue, and intestinal gas, as well as hormone imbalances and other stuff. And then, there's the problem of highly

undesirable side-effects from the wrong type of estrogen, if that's what's needed. Seeing an OB-GYN royally sucks

IMHO, and you really have to take a lot of management initiative and being prepared to do your own research when

working with them, but most of this stuff is very treatable.

[CJ01]

Seeing an OB-GYN royally sucks

IMHO

who likes gynos? I mean than damn chair was NOT designed by a woman that´s for sure and if it was

she had something seriously wrong with her maybe she was a masochist or something.
Hate the fact that there´s

usually a second person there and it´s always a bloody woman,even if there is good reason for this but still!



Those hormones tests aren´t cheap if there´s a way for insurance to pay get them to cough up.

I´d don´t

recommend self medication either especially when dealing with hormones. Besides you always need the right diagnose

before you can start any sort of treatment.

As I said though, chances are it´s not a medical problem at all

[Elana]

Seeing an OB-GYN royally

sucks IMHO,

That's why I am off the pill. I dreaded going back every 6 months just to have my

prescription renewed, I decided to give my self a break from the dreaded clamps.

[Ash]

I wouldn't suggest

self-medicating for this without investigating first. There can be lots of reasons for painful intercourse -

endometriosis, cysts, PID, STD's, prolapsed uterus, badly executed hystorectomies and otherwise-screwed-up ligament

tissue, and intestinal gas, as well as hormone imbalances and other stuff. And then, there's the problem of highly

undesirable side-effects from the wrong type of estrogen, if that's what's needed. Seeing an OB-GYN royally sucks

IMHO, and you really have to take a lot of management initiative and being prepared to do your own research when

working with them, but most of this stuff is very treatable.

All of what you wrote above is TRUE

Peachy and great info! Self treating is difficult to do for men but almost impossible for women. Wayyy tooooo much

going on with women's hormone issues and it takes a real good Dr. to get to the heart of the problem. The point I

was trying to make was that all the ROMANCE in the world isn't going to do much good if there is an underlying

hormone/libido problem. It might even make things worse from a guilt trip point of view. If you get my meaning.



Here's the way I see things and please take into account that I'm a guy and a Pig! If everything is in balance

for a women hormonally, than sexual desire is going to be there, especially if she's involved in a loving,

committed relationship. All relationships have problems from time to time but if the women is healthy sexually then

sexual desire is going to be as big a part of her life as it is for a sexually healthy man. She's going to want to

have sex with her mate just as much if not more than her guy does. For some reason Elana comes to mind here again.

OTOH, most women are totally different then men when it comes to what turns them on and serious romance is the way

to most women's libido's. Holding hands, hugs, soft music, candle light, slow dances, great conversation with the

men doing all the listening and making the appropriate affirmative comment at just the right time. These are the

things that make for the big O for most women. Those and the ability of the man to "Lick the Box" properly.



That's the way I see things now that I'm older and wiser and almost ready to die but keep in mind that I'm a

man and I'm a Pig!

[CJ01]

If everything is in balance for

a women hormonally, than sexual desire is going to be there, especially if she's involved in a loving, committed

relationship. All relationships have problems from time to time but if the women is healthy sexually then sexual

desire is going to be as big a part of her life as it is for a sexually healthy man. She's going to want to have

sex with her mate just as much if not more than her guy does. For some reason Elana comes to mind here again. OTOH,

most women are totally different then men when it comes to what turns them on and serious romance is the way to most

women's libido's. Holding hands, hugs, soft music, candle light, slow dances, great conversation with the men

doing all the listening and making the appropriate affirmative comment at just the right time. These are the things

that make for the big O for most women. Those and the ability of the man to "Lick the Box" properly.

whatever you say Ash

[Ash]

No CJ, as a women it's whatever YOU

say! So, as a women, what do YOU say? What gets CJ off?

[Elana]

The reading poetry to each other,

skipping through the daisy field, gazing in each others eyes is what turns me OFF! It also makes me run for a

barf bag.

[Elana]

But I still do insist on being the

only woman in his life and the most important person to him. He needs to know what makes E happy. Women are all

different and we all want different things. Men just need to pay attention to what their woman wants.

THIS GOES

BOTH WAYS!

[DCW]

sorry but this is one

thing I would not recommend. Frankly it´s one dumb**** thing you should never ask someone because usually it´s not

answerable anyway plus it makes you start analysing in order to find a possible answer and the romance goes out the

window. Romance shouldn´t be analysed because it takes away the magic that makes it so special. But that´s just

how I would feel about it.

Another thing is that you might think `good question - what did I see

in this person...well back then he had a nice ass, hot legs, he was sporty, paid me more attention,he was

romantic... and now he´s turned into a middle-aged git and never even takes me out for dinner...... time to go out

on the pull and pick up some hot young stud!...´ etc
-just an example of how the mind can go off in the totally

wrong direction not saying you´re a boring old fart

Sorry I am going to have to disagree,

communication is the key here.
If your wife has is moving into a different direction then there is no magic

formula to bring her around.

In a quiet moment get close to your wife and tell her that you love her and find

her incredibly sexy. Tell her about your concerns about the frequency of your intimacy; ask her if there is

anything you can do to bring back the spark.
Then gauge her reaction if she become angry and defensive then you

have a bigger problem here, professional counseling may then be needed.




DCW

[Ash]

The reading poetry to

each other, skipping through the daisy field, gazing in each others eyes is what turns me OFF! It also makes me

run for a barf bag.

Yeah, kinda turns me off too and it doesn't come naturally to me but if I'm with

someone I like and that's what she needs than I'll give as much of that to her as I can.

[CJ01]

No CJ, as a women it's

whatever YOU say! So, as a women, what do YOU say? What gets CJ off?

sorry but I´ve been watching 2

football matches at the same time tonight,never mind

[CJ01]

Quote:
Originally Posted

by CJ01
sorry but this is one thing I would not recommend. Frankly it´s one dumb**** thing you should

never ask someone because usually it´s not answerable anyway plus it makes you start analysing in order to find a

possible answer and the romance goes out the window. Romance shouldn´t be analysed because it takes away the magic

that makes it so special. But that´s just how I would feel about it.

Another thing is that you might

think `good question - what did I see in this person...well back then he had a nice ass, hot legs, he was sporty,

paid me more attention,he was romantic... and now he´s turned into a middle-aged git and never even takes me out for

dinner...... time to go out on the pull and pick up some hot young stud!...´ etc
-just an example of how the mind

can go off in the totally wrong direction not saying you´re a boring old fart


Sorry I am going to

have to disagree, communication is the key here.
If your wife has is moving into a different direction then there

is no magic formula to bring her around.

In a quiet moment get close to your wife and tell her that you love her

and find her incredibly sexy. Tell her about your concerns about the frequency of your intimacy ask her if there is

anything you can do to bring back the spark.
Then gauge her reaction if she become angry and defensive then you

have a bigger problem here, professional counseling may then be needed.




DCW

you´re not actually

disagreing, you´re taking a different angle on the subject altogether. What you´re suggesting about making her feel

wanted and sexy is is spot on and the first step and there´s many ways to show someone they´re special and desirable

etc.

Tell her about your concerns about the frequency of your intimacy

that might be putting her

uunder pressure which is not exactly a turn on. Mind you it can depend on how you say it and get it

across...

ask her if there is anything you can do to bring back the spark.

no you don´t

ask,you get those grey cells going and think of something yourself and go ahead and do it! I mean one ought to come

up with thir own ideas of seduction and romantic gestures etc.

[CJ01]

PS do you do a lot of laughing

together? Humour is soooo important imo, make her laugh and give her a good time,make her smile and flirt!
I

met an elderly couple (in their 70´s -??) once when I was still in my teens at a small dinner do. I swear to god

those two were flirting the whole time and being funny - that was really cool. Okay I´ve no idea about what their

sex life was like but frankly I didn´t WANT to know! Fact is though they were obviously very happy together

It´s a slightly off topic story but I just remembered this and wanted throw it in

[DCW]

you´re not actually

disagreing, you´re taking a different angle on the subject altogether. What you´re suggesting about making her feel

wanted and sexy is is spot on and the first step and there´s many ways to show someone they´re special and desirable

etc.
that might be putting her uunder pressure which is not exactly a turn on. Mind you it can depend on

how you say it and get it across...

no you don´t ask,you get those grey cells going and think of

something yourself and go ahead and do it! I mean one ought to come up with thir own ideas of seduction and

romantic gestures etc.

I'm thinking about a long term solution not some seduction

technique to get some pum pum.
What I'm saying is that here might be something under the surface that needs to

be brought to the surface and get resolved.



DCW