good looks vs mones

[DrSmellThis]

Is being insulting, with

however much subtlety, queenly? It depends on what one wants to be queen of.

[CptKipling]

Yeah you

sound like a riot, inviting Beautiful women to your gig for some self centered test of worth on that person.

Cute

As if women don't test at all.

[DrSmellThis]

You sound like a riot too,

especially since you know why I do things without asking, and tell strangers their gigs are "stupid". For the

benefit of others who don't have your all-seeingness, though, I invited them because I liked them, and because it

is less threatening way to get to know people to invite them to a public event. The fact that I invited one or two

more that I would have in the past for concern over how I would divide my time was merely a pragmatic tip of my hat

to reality that proved correct.

[JustPeachy]

Cute



As if women don't test at all.

Hold up. Go here:

http://http://66.45.239.227/forum/showthread.php?t=1

0514

Of COURSE we do! And that guy will score well initially, just for having a clue. And then again, for

his rapt attention. DST came off in that one post like he was doing job interviews, and then was upset because they

didn't drag themselves out of their homes to go be in the audience for the Wonders of DST Show right off. Totally

opposite approach, totally different reaction, even in print.

[DrSmellThis]

Peachy, that is really a bit

unfair, not to mention inaccurate, to read all that attitude into my post. I think you are reacting to something

else and reading the worst possible meanings into it. Please! "drag themselves out"?? These are people who enjoyed

my company and expressed a genuine interest and excitement in the type of music. It never was about me. But you

weren't there anyway. Give me a break.

[KittyClair]

For example, after 3

very good recent conversations, I invited three pretty women to my gig last night, knowing that pretty women tend to

BS you and stand people up,

Next time I'll invite 10 or more and see if one appreciates the

invite enough to stick to her word, until I figure out the actual ratio to employ.

dont take it personaly, but I would say that to any dunce trying to invite me to their cheesy

gig...

So I meet this guy at a friends cooktail party and he tries to impress me "Hey babe come to my

gig"

of course I'm gonna say "I dont want to go to your stupid ass gig"

[Elana]

of course I'm gonna say "I

dont want to go to your stupid ass gig"

Gotta love an honest woman

[belgareth]

Gotta love an

honest woman

Honest yes. But to the point of unnecessary rudeness?

[Elana]

Honest yes. But to

the point of unnecessary rudeness?

Bel..I am going to quote you because you made a good point in a

previous post...

It is in large part what the man is willing to tolerate. The more of such nonsense you

put up with, the more you'll get.

If the guy opts to stick around after that remark, then he had better

get used to it.

[Sexyredhead]

Bel..I am going

to quote you because you made a good point in a previous post...


If the guy opts to stick around after

that remark, then he had better get used to it.

And if he put up with me being that rude without

saying/doing something about it, I don't want him anyway.

[CptKipling]

I couldn't agree more.



Sisters certainly doin' it for themselves.

[DrSmellThis]

Actually I do like honesty as

well -- even ugly, superficial, man-hating honesty from people who insult randomly and disrespect rather than make

better points -- compared to the alternative. But I have to give due credit to the honesty part. No one owes it to

me to be nice. People seem to be jockeying for power here, and insulting is a way to impress some people.

[belgareth]

Bel..I am going to

quote you because you made a good point in a previous post...


If the guy opts to stick around after that

remark, then he had better get used to it.

It still doesn't excuse the original rudeness.

[CptKipling]

People seem

to be jockeying for power here, and insulting is a way to impress some people.

That's exactly how it came

off.

No one is saying anybody has to agree with anybody else, but there's critisism and, well, mockery.

[belgareth]

Actually I

do like honesty as well -- even ugly, superficial, man-hating honesty from people who insult randomly and disrespect

rather than make better points -- compared to the alternative. But I have to give due credit to the honesty part. No

one owes it to me to be nice. People seem to be jockeying for power here, and insulting is a way to impress some

people.

Insulting is percieved by some as a means to impress. Doesn't mean it works.

[Elana]

It still doesn't

excuse the original rudeness.

I personally would never say that to someone. It's just not my style, but I

think Kitty's point was that if she had no intention of going, she would just say so, rather than string someone

along pretending that she will show up when she knows that she has no intention of doing so.

[belgareth]

I personally would

never say that to someone. It's just not my style, but I think Kitty's point was that if she had no intention of

going, she would just say so, rather than string someone along pretending that she will show up when she knows that

she has no intention of doing so.

Since she chose to take the Doc's statements at face value, even adding

a bit of her own interpretation, I saw little choice but to take hers the same way. She was inexcusably rude to the

doc.

[tallmacky]

I can't stop laughing. This is

too funny.

[Elana]

I baked brownies for everyone. No

more fighting.

[DrSmellThis]

Sometimes Bel, when jockeying

for power, people even encourage others to insult for them; because they know it wouldn't work as well for them to

do it.

The "reputation function" should also be teaching us something about how people jockey for power behind

the scenes when they have the energy for it.

[Elana]

To be honest, I skimmed the thread

and missed a lot of stuff.
I wasn't trying to insult anyone here.

[franki]

The

"reputation function" should also be teaching us something about how people jockey for power behind the scenes when

they have the energy for it.

The rep thing is worthless, cause everyone and his mom have a good

reputation now..

[belgareth]

Sometimes

Bel, when jockeying for power, people even encourage others to insult for them; because they know it wouldn't work

as well for them to do it.

The "reputation function" should also be teaching us something about how people

jockey for power behind the scenes when they have the energy for it.

Yeah, I saw it a lot working in the

corporate world. It sickened me then and it does the same now. I'll encourage debate and an infinite variety of

opinions, even bluntness but have to draw the line somewhere.

[DrSmellThis]

I can't stop

laughing. This is too funny.

Believe me, TM, I think it's funny too. Thanks.

[JustPeachy]

Peachy,

that is really a bit unfair, not to mention inaccurate, to read all that attitude into my post. I think you are

reacting to something else and reading the worst possible meanings into it. Please! "drag themselves out"?? These

are people who enjoyed my company and expressed a genuine interest and excitement in the type of music. It never was

about me. But you weren't there anyway. Give me a break.

Oh Pu-LEEZE, DST. We were talking very

specifically about the way the thing came off in your original post. Not what you meant, not what you might have

intended to add later, not your exact tone of voice when you said what you said to those women, not ANYTHING else.

Chill out, already. Despite joking around here, I don't hate men in the least, even when they annoy me at times.

Love 'em all to death, even you when you're having a bad day , and I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt.

[DrSmellThis]

I'm unclear, and have mixed

feelings about your last post, as much as I love kissing and making up. Not to single you out, Peachy, but did you

not overreact and attack, even relative to my original language? Maybe reread all the language of your first post

carefully, not to mention the 2nd (or 3rd? I forget) one? I expected some backlash. The original experience I

wrote about was indeed painful, and I was outspoken in a little bit of a jaded way about a sad thing I still believe

to be the case in our culture; but think I was more "chilled out" than the triggered responses.

For my part, I

have some anger toward many women; though definitely no smallness of heart or ill intent where they are concerned. I

see it mostly as the other side of my "dogged" open-heartedness, frankly (so maybe your dog relationship idea for me

is good after all). But the shit and mistrust flies both ways on this board, not just from men to women. It's not

all "kidding around". Some men sometimes "hang out and take it", most probably because they want female approval, or

acceptance. That is their duly noted weakness, I believe, partly by nature. That this want typically invites more

self-righteous scorn nauseates me, even if it's just a brute fact of monkey life. If they supplicate, they "invite"

abuse. When a man feels needy that way, and acts on it, he gives up his power. (Though I don't think I felt needy,

I "supplicated" myself when I remarked that what's-her-name's photo was sexy without her having to "work for" the

compliment -- inviting abuse -- and sure enough, there it came. An opportunity for someone to gain power. I even

thought, "Oh, shit!" to myself right after posting. I guess my "giving up personal power" made the person feel safe

to attack. The photo now does less than nothing for me, BTW!) So the resulting abuse from inappropriately

power-conscious women is his fault? Different responsibilities are at stake. Humans are certainly vulnerable and

needy by the dictates of nature, as much as they are strong. At "best" we hide our emotional weaknesses. Sometimes a

man (or woman) chooses to keep his heart open in general, despite expected injuries, because he is trying to create

a certain kind of world. The expected "dominance and defeat" are temporary and ego-related, he hopes. But whether

open or defended, there is an inherent potential for abuse which is not lost on the emotionally clever. That

knowledge can be used for ill, or for healing.

It is not about any one person on a Tallmackian throne. There

are just a lot of problems in our culture with gender relations, and this forum is no exception, as you ladies have

pointed out. In response, I sprang teeth and defended a woman from gender-related bashing just a couple days ago, as

I said I would (but the thread was largely deleted, thankfully). There has to be a way for men to be fully men and

women to be fully women without emotional violence. Sure, it takes a nonexistent level of trust to own the pain

(e.g., anger, hate) that is occuring as a matter of course, and people have to admit they act just like the bald

monkeys they are. But once this dynamic would be deciphered on a small scale, it would be straightforward to apply

it to improving outside relationships, and the rest of culture. Of course implemention would need generations.

[JustPeachy]

Awww, doc. C'mon. I get just

as much out of reading the guys' posts here as they may get from the ladies'. I apologized for inadvertently

hurting your feelings, and that was sincere. Everybody has tough days and tough issues. Nobody said it was easy. The

only way I know of to really arrive at an understanding is to get out there and dialog, challenge, debate, take a

few lumps, give a few, go to lunch, mull it over, adjust, and get over it. We can sit and ponder, or we can do

something with it.

That said, you were going along just fine there, and then you said, "inappropriately

power-conscious women". And I tripped. What the hell does that mean? Mind you - I'm ASKING, because last time, it

upset you when I responded first instead of asking for explanation first. Is there some invisible limit on how

power-conscious a woman should be? Or anyone? I'm pretty comfortable with the subject power-consciousness. I PLAY

with the idea, even to the extent of horsing around conversationally about erotic power-transfer situations. Think

about it. Really. Some people find power-consciousness and playing with it to be the be-all, end-all of sexy. In

both directions. And some of them swing both ways, gender totally notwithstanding, if my understanding of the

subject is correct. So. What's the "appropriate" limit? Yours? Mine? His? Hers? Is there a rule somewhere? Is it

wrong to feel that it's out of bounds to assume that power in the hands of one particular gender is "inappropriate"

because of their gender? Inquiring minds, you know...

The only thing I know about power struggles between

people, is that (for healthy, functioning adults, anyway) power taken, and power taken for granted is generally

really bad. Power naturally owned, and power freely granted are generally really good. But I'll qualify all that by

saying that I live within a spiritual framework which outright requires me to bow my head before no mere mortal of

any description. In the end, if I have any duty toward others, it's primarily only to encourage them to find and

reclaim their own native power, should they need to. Genuinely spiritually strong people are just naturally very

powerful entities, and the more we know our own, the less we want to usurp anyone else's. My honest feeling at

this point, is that acquisition, retention, and management of personal power is a big issue for you. And I

congratulate you! I think it's a good place to be. Lots of us trying to travel that way, and lots of different

paths to take.

I know I parsed some of what you were saying, so it might not be quite fair, but please try to

take what I saying here as kind of a gestalt, as I didn't suffer much choosing my phrasing in saying it.



Peace!

[DrSmellThis]

OK. That was a reasonable and

effective question, as I was not referring to how much power consciousness, a lot of which is good,

all other things being equal; but to the type of power consciousness being how abuse happens. Power

consciousness and the accompanying power are responsibilities, as those in the BDSM communities know. There is a

very conscious sharing of it.

Personal empowerment is one of the things I think important in living creatively

on the planet.

Now I see an apology. Before, no. Accepted.

[tounge]

I baked brownies for

everyone. No more fighting.

Ummm!!! Nothing like one of Elana's fresh baked Ex-Lax laced

brownies. They are good for what ails some people around here.

[Watcher]

Kitty tells all guys off - dare i

say prima donna - ive met with and dealt with enough of them over the years - and since i joined up here i know

exactly how to deal with em - they are to busy out with each other being competitive with other females to mostly

not bother with guys.

They say they use men (but never get with em) etc etc.

Dont wanna sound to

testostrone here but the slightly less attractive women (8s) tend to be a little more more "personable" and less

"man hating" - i guess it is to sort the best from the rest and because they have always had male attention

everything is about sex - which it is anyway but thats another point lol.

I do respect women BUT .... those

that expect everything based upon their looks have 20 years at most ...... and are usually to up themselves to

bother with - and when you do they are usually louzy sexual partners because they expect the men to do all the work.

SLightly less attractive ones are more robust during mating lol and slightly more exciting in general.