Check out these midgets.
Reply With QuoteA man walks into a psychiatrist's
office wearing nothing but cellophane underwear. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says,
"I can clearly
see you're nuts."
Q: What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? A: Dam.
A blonde went to
eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to
blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said,
"Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much
the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red
head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."
This joke is
dedicated to Elana(Peppino)
Penis Requests a Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary
for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I
do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I
work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious
diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised,
the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall
asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not
stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured
and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You
don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire
well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before
you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the
workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. Sincerely,
The Management
Attention Shoppers!
Why
did Michael Jackson rush to Wal-Mart? Because he heard kids pants were half-off!
Understanding
Marketing
You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, "I'm fantastic in
bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy.
You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, "She's/He's fantastic in bed."
That's
Advertising.
You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next
day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a
fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up
their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public
Relations.
You're at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, "I hear you're
fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.
Dr. Doctor
Two doctors opened an office in a small
town.
They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."
The town council was
not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors."
This was not acceptable
either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."
No go!
Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again.
Then came, "Manic-Depressives and
Anal-Retentives."
But is was still not good! So they tried:
"Minds and Behinds"
"Analysis and Anal
Cysts"
"Nuts and Butts"
"Freaks and Cheeks"
"Loons and Moons"
"Lost Souls and Ass Holes"
None worked.
Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be
accepted by the council: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and Ends." APPROVED
Sorry to boor you with my odd humor
from The Netherlands.
I am still a bit tired from yesterday, and woke up early this morning.
DZorro,
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