Close

Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. #1
    Phero Enthusiast
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    210
    Rep Power
    7575

    Default THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    visit-red-300x50PNG
    Hi,

    This one is too serious to be posted under Humor.

    MysteriousMan


    THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE

    CONDUCT

    1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.

    2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an

    umbrella.

    3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally beaten and killed by his fellow

    partygoers.

    4. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12

    hours.

    5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone

    within earshot is allowed to call bullshit. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration

    rate rises to 400 percent)

    6. If you\'ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits

    forever.

    7. The maximum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who\'s running late is 5 minutes. For a

    girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

    8.

    Bitching about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is

    unsuitable

    9. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a

    friends birthday is strictly optional.

    10. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is

    trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex

    with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

    11. Before dating a buddy\'s

    ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant it.

    12. Women who claim they

    \"love to watch sports\" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and, more

    importantly, the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

    13. If a man\'s zipper is down, that\'s his

    problem-you didn\'t see nothin\'.

    14. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is

    beer.

    15. (Gas Warfare Act) you may flatulate in front of a woman only after you\'ve brought her to climax. But

    if you trap her head under the covers (Dutch Oven) for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she\'s officially

    your girlfriend.

    16. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you\'re sunning on a tropical

    beach... and it\'s delivered by a topless supermodel and it\'s free.

    17. Unless you\'re in prison, never

    fight naked.

    18. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to

    fight.

    19. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception:

    If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, \"What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin\",

    then you may sit back and enjoy.

    20. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:

    \"Yeah, baby, push it!\" \"C\'mon, give me one more! Harder!\" \"Another set and we can hit the showers.\"

    \" Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?\"

    21. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,

    but not both. That\'s just plain mean.

    22. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you\'re on equal

    footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you

    need.

    23. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

    24. Before

    allowing drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet,

    look you in the eye, and deliver a \"F@ck OFF!\" You are absolved of your of responsibility.

    25. The morning

    after you and a babe who was formerly \"just a friend\" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you\'re

    feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it

    was.





  2. #2
    Phero Pharaoh
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    1,065
    Rep Power
    7834

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    6. If you\'ve known a guy for more

    than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

    <hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    Probably the

    only one I have trouble with. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

  3. #3
    Phero Guru
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    1,661
    Rep Power
    8013

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    26. Two buddies must never ever sit side by side in a restaurant, at least until the ladies show up.

  4. #4
    Phero Guru
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    1,661
    Rep Power
    8013

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    27. There\'s no obligation to lend your friend any money (both of you know he can\'t ever pay it back)unless

    he\'s buyng a 6-pack to split with you .... but but.... if his car breaks down at 4AM 1400 miles away you must go

    get him.

  5. #5
    Doctor of Scentology DrSmellThis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,233
    Rep Power
    8666

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    These are fairly accurate.

  6. #6
    Phero Guru
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    1,661
    Rep Power
    8013

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    28. The topic, \"Pheromone Usage in a Gay Bar\", should notpop up in conversation with your best friend (or any

    other male for that matter!!).

  7. #7
    Phero Guru
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    1,661
    Rep Power
    8013

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    29. If over 18 but under 30 you must not own a cat. It is ok however to feed every stray in the neighborhood

    thereby pissing off your neighbors. If over 30 and need be, it\'s ok to own a cat cause you don\'t have any

    straight male friends anyway.

  8. #8
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Posts
    2,029
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    30.

    If your girlfriend is bisexual, you are only allowed to tell everyone 50 times. After that it gets worn out and

    people can make fun of you. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

  9. #9
    Banned User
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Good Old Europe
    Posts
    3,840
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    </font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
    30. If your girlfriend is bisexual, you are only

    allowed to tell everyone 50 times. After that it gets worn out and people can make fun of you.

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

    <hr

    /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

  10. #10
    Phero Guru
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    1,661
    Rep Power
    8013

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT

    31. If your girlfriend is bisexual, you are only allowed to tell everyone 50 times unless you are over the age of

    50 and have absolutely nothing else going for yourself.

  11. #11
    Banned User EXIT63's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Posts
    2,029
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: THE OFFICIAL CODE OF MALE CONDUCT



    [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. 809 Area Code Scam
    By Sagacious1420 in forum Open Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-09-2004, 08:14 PM
  2. Orgasm Wars
    By nonscents in forum Open Discussion
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-13-2003, 01:15 PM
  3. The ULTIMATE Mix??
    By baby2nite in forum Pheromone Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-16-2003, 06:15 AM
  4. Please explain this term "alpha male"
    By **DONOTDELETE** in forum Pheromone Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 08-02-2002, 12:39 PM
  5. Alpha Male ..may be missing link
    By **DONOTDELETE** in forum Pheromone Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 07-26-2002, 11:20 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •