How can you tell what women are out to be picked up
or available?
I always frequent a coffee shop. Sometimes I will see a chic, alot of the times pretty
good looking just there by herself. They usually are not there very long, say like 45 minutes it seems.
I think,
hmmm. Wow. Good looking, nobody around, are they here to be hit on or to meet a guy? It is hard to tell. Some sit
out of the way in a corner in which it is kinda harder to say hi to or go over to. I saw one real nice looking
women. About 26. She was all into this book. She sat with her back to the crowd. Not looking any other way or
turning her head ever. I thought I may of seen a ring. I thought....ahhh figures. Then this dude comes in,
introduces himself, like a friggin pro, plops a seat right in her face. He was so confident it was almost over
bearing to her. But in three minutes he asked her to join him and his friends for a drink. She agreed (I got a
closer look when she was leaving. It was just a gold charm ring=no wedding ring). He went out to tell his friends
that were out side on the patio. Came back in in 4 or 5 minutes and asked her if she was ready. She sighed and said
as she was leaving "this is crazy". I was woed. She gave no indication she wanted to be picked up. No suddle clues,
she was so into her novel and sat with her back to the entire shop. I thought....naw, she is NOT here to meet
someone. When he took her out of there in three friggin minutes I was like...hmmmm how do you know?
I seen
another good looking women there the next night that totally stayed to herself as well. In the corner. I thought.
Hmmm maybe I should just go over to her like the dude did to that chic the other night. She left while I was still
lookin for a clue of her availability and if she was open to conversation. Is there a 9 out of 10 chance that if
they are there alone they are there to be picked up. Is there no way of knowing?
I know the norm:you just
gotta give it a shot and the "how will you know if you don't try". But I just want to know what are the odds? Is
there a connection with a women being by herself at a coffee shop to looking to meet a dude or is it all in the
situation? Is there any probability or do women just go to get away or to relax.
What's the deal? Getting
some insight (especially from a women) would be helpful. You see it is a small coffee shop. If I do go over and it
doesn't go good I suppose I'd either have to go back to my seat and pretend it was nothing or something. Also some
folks would see this who know me just by seeing me there. I'd look kinda silly if I did this often. Even though the
more times you try the better your odds. So I kinda am not sure on how to go about it and I want to make it a good
selection if I do choose to pull a move like the dude did the other night with that chic. It would help if I knew
how much women generally go out to be picked up and where. How do you know? Is there any way to guage?Like the one
chic...here was no body language signs or anything but the dude swooped her out of there?
Any tips, input,
or advice?
Happyman
like the Tracy Chapman song... you need one good
reason
you need a good reason to be interested in who you approach, or you need to know within a few
minutes IF you'll have a reason... women (and men too) fundamentally don't like being looked at like an object on
the shelf... are you on the same wavelength or aren't you ? Two powerful things to be are A. curious about her
interests, and B. respectful of her boundaries. NLP has some good "elicitation" techniques to get an idea of what
her areas of interest are, you've got to use those techniques with genuine curiosity or you'll be a DORQUE... and
summarily blown off as bogus.... sometimes a direct question is so refreshingly candid, like "what interests you
?"
Some guys are extemely crude AND immature
It's the f*cked up one percent of anything that makes it hard for the decent 99%... having been with a
few awesomely beautiful, ungodly sexual women in my life...one was an international grade of model, one was a
superhooker that did a lot of trade with "squeaky clean ivy league corporate holier than thou" types of guys, one
was a beautiful insane artist.... I've seen a certain element of the male population basically crap their pants on
the spot and go friggin' nuts in their presence... women too, sometimes deranged with jealousy and competitive
alpha femme urges they can't control...
Sometimes I had to walk in front and act like a human
shield/bodyguard to deflect these crazies who will not take a hint, will not take no for an answer. There is a good
reason that celebs need a posse of trained bodyguards.
What regular guys don't appreciate is that the
exceptionally beautiful woman is rained on, day in and day out, with a torrent of propositions, deep hungry stares
into the pupils of her eyes, as if she owes everybody her magical validation, and man, guys will then turn into
angry rejected children if they don't get the response they feel the DESERVE.
I learned my lesson, much
prefer to have the company of pleasant but not too striking women with powerful sex drives and a sharp sense of
humor... enough of this starstruck red carpet BS...
This happens to guys too... if you hang out in the
entertainment scene you get used to outrageously handsome, perfectly proportioned, men with genetic blessings that
don't have to lift a finger and they get laid twice a night if they want... even they got sick of it, people
wanting to be seen talking to them, not because they gave two shits who they were, it just looks good to be seen
talking to a male model type, gay guys falling in love with them right and left even when they didn't have any gay
in them they would want to act on, older women with money and some power who claimed they would "initiate them into
the ways of the world"...
All that beauty can be a heavy load as much as it can be a gift, have it and
you'll see sides of people, people you think you know, that you never knew existed....
Keep your eyes on the road...
Quote:
On the other hand, some really attractive women even play off of it, and their ego can never get enough.
Sure, there's the flipside to the beauty complex... living in your own personal bubble of
desirability... I've also seen my share of ridiculously manipulative beautiful people, men, women, and forms of
life in between who have ordinary mortals bending over backwards to do them a favor...
The important thing is
to keep the *locus of control* firmly rooted in yourself... when you can be respectful, appreciative, and
understanding of others WHILE holding to your *locus of control* then you can interact easily...
Others will
relate better to you if they have a gut sense that you can control your own behavior without resorting to extreme
measures... I've hung with celebs in celeb joints, just relaxing and shooting the breeze, no pressure to be
anything or say anything too too impressive (beautiful people need to kick off their shoes and be human like the
rest of us...)... and frequently some character nobody recognizes will swoop down out of nowhere and join our
conversation like he's well known to everybody there... just start rappin' away like a cousin you haven't seen in
two years, and you're thinking to yourself, WTF ??? did I know this guy from somewhere ??? Is this some important
producer or writer and I blanked out on him or is this a crazy that fell out of the woodwork ? So then you have then
"eye converstion", you look over at your bud with that "who IS this prick, or should we play along and kiss his ass
???" look, and he looks back with the "beats me dude... you think we should hose this guy ?" look... then if
nuttin' clicks after about 2 minutes of suss-out time, you fade... "oh, hey, I needa refill... hey there's
Scarlett... um great talkin2ya...".... the you do the evaporation move... whoosh, gone....
I'll take three loads to go, please.
Wow - prime stuff, surfs_up and everyone else! This discussion is sucking me in like a Dyson DC07 (or
its creator, come to think of it).
However...um...
Quote:
Originally Posted by surfs_up
that beauty can be a heavy load as
much as it can be a gift
Yeah, the grass is greener and all that, but...cry me a river. You know what
I mean?
Most things good come with a pricetag. And I dunno...taking into account all those open doors which
are often closed to the rest of us, the baggage on the beauty express seems like a blowout bargain.
At the
end of the day, the *locus of control* is where it's at. Just don't let any of those frogs hit you in the
face...
Groovy thread.