A blonde was telling her
priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm
sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
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A blonde was telling her
priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm
sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
hehehe good one!
:lol: wasn't it?
Here's something funny
someone sent me.
He met her while browsing.
She unzipped his dotcom 4 some
downloading.
Since he was virus free he slotted his hard disk into her hotmail & she screamed
Yahoo!
:LOL:
Here’s a real one from an
ex-girlfriend:
Ex: Who was that blonde bimbo you were talking to?
Me: What exactly is a “bimbo”?
Ex: A blonde.
I got another! :D
************
A blond and a brunette are roommates,The bruenette is getting ready for her date
with her boyfriend,grumbling replies i really don't feel like going out...
The blonde is sitting at the window
reading a book(believe it or not)and looks out the window,and sees the brunettes boyfriend ariving with a dozen
roses and says.. Oh he thinks your special he's bringing you roses...
The brunette rolls her eyes and comments,Oh
geesh this means I'll be in bed all night with my legs in the air....
The blonde replys: What you don't have a
vase?
Oh!! Grossssssssss! :eek: but
it made me laugh!..) :D
******************
Two drunk blonde were on their way home from a bar. On
their way home, they saw a pile of shit on the ground. The other one said: " Look, Jean, a kid dropped his chocolate
on the ground...dumb kid!". Jean looked at the shit and said "No Mary,you silly dumb ass..it's not a
chocolate..it's a pile of shit..". Mary began to argue with Jean and said :"No Jean, I am sure it is a
chocolate..wanna bet? let's taste is.." So they did. after they tasted it, Jean said " You see?? I told you it's
not a chocolate" Mary then said: " Oh well, I guess ur right...but we're lucky we didn't step on it..."
:lol: that was a good one.Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetBrenda
Was your ex blonde?Quote:
Originally Posted by a.k.a.
One can only hope!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by DrSmellThis
Adams
Here's another... =p hehe
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip
a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you
follow my instructions?"
The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third
day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.
"No, from skipping," replied the blonde
And one more, why not?
=op
*************
Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her
milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought
she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Gloria came to the door, and Alan
said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?"
Gloria said, "I
want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."
Alan asked, "Oh, alright,
would you like it pasteurized?"
Gloria replied, "No, just up to my tits."
Here's are
some more
A.K.A
=0)
_____________________
Two blondes
had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final
stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde
said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
Aka here's a
few more ..
:p
*****************
Brunette: "I'll have a B and
C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and
T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender:
"What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
:rofl:
______________________________
A dumb blonde was
standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of
the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly,
a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient.
"Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"
The blonde turns
around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still
winning!"
:lol:
________________________________
Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium --
What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in
Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep
dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington
is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a
friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball
game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well
known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff --
Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware
of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter
carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room --
Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding
anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small
table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An
extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein --
Conceited
Last one
for tonight.. ( I promise ) :angel:
ps
AKA someone is going
to think I have something against blondes!:POKE: sooo, you go my back right? *grins*
:trout:
_________________________
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde robbed
a supermarket. As they were stealing, a police officer walked in the store and saw what was happening. He dashed
toward them, but they were able to get away into the back of the store. There they found three sacks to hide in.
When the police officer checked there, he examined each sack.
He kicks the first bag, and the redhead says "meow"
in a high voice. The cop determines that it must only be a cat in that bag, and he moves on to the next.
When he
kicks the second bag, the brunette says "woof" in a low voice. The officer determines that it must only be a dog in
that bag, so he moves on to the last bag.
He kicks the third bag, and the blonde shouts "potato" to the
officer.
OfQuote:
Originally Posted by SweetBrenda
course.
Anyway, everybody knows there are only a handful of real blondes in the world (and 99% of them speak
Swedish), so no problem.
Good ones BTW.
I've heard that there are only
four blond jokes...the rest are true stories.
Hey A.K.A I got
a new one for you
Enjoy:lol:
*****************************
Two tourists were traveling through
Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They
argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde
employee, ''Before we order could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very
slowly.'' The blonde leaned over and said
''Burrrrrrr
Gurrrrrr Kingggg.''
:rofl:
One
more...:lol:
**********
One day this cop pulls
over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
''You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask
me to show it.''
Q: How
do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.
Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She comes out and says she did.
:run:
THE BLONDE AND THE
VENTRILOQUIST
A ventriloquist is sitting
onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out rude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the
audience stands up.
"I'm so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. I'ts because of you
that I have to try harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red
or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair."
"Gosh, Miss, I'm terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I
didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"Shut Up! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that little jerk on your lap!"
:rant: