BITS AND PIECES

CIAO TUTTI! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]

A married couple was eating at a restaurant when the wife noticed her ex-husband sitting at the bar. \"He\'s been drinking since I left him seven years ago,\" she said to her current husband. \"That\'s silly dear,\" he replied. \"No one celebrates that much.\"

A young boy asked his father, \"Daddy, is it true that in some parts of China a man doesn\'t know his wife until they get married?\" The father replied, \"Son, that happens in every country!\"

A mother was cleaning the house when she found her son\'s hidden stash of S&M magazines. She asked here husband, \"What should I do about this?\" \"Well,\" he said. \"One thing is for sure. Don\'t you dare give him a spanking!\"

Why do married men hang strobe lights in their bedrooms? So they can pretend their wives are moving during sex.

A woman told her friend, \"I made my husband a millionaire.\" The friend asked, \"What was he before you married him?\" She replied, \"A billionaire.\"

A bride became annoyed by her husband\'s lusty advances on their wedding night. \"Just so we understand each other, I demand proper manners in bed,\" she declared, \"Just as I do at the dinner table!\" So the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and carefully climbed between the sheets. \"Is that better dear?\" he asked. \"Yes,\" his wife replied, \"much better!\" \"Very good, darling,\" the husband whispered. \"Now, would you be so kind as to pass me the pussy please?\"

An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented \"These are very good! You must have a good camera.\" He didn\'t make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said \"That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots.\"


PROCRASTINATOR\'S TO-DO LIST:

(1) Aw, FU#K IT.


HOPE YOUR DAY HAS YOU SMILING!!! [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] A PRESTO! TATER!!!!