Trying to recover a former lover - Please help
Hi everybody,and many apologies for the length of my msg. I have been a lurker in
this forum for several years; I use basically sandalwood TE and NPA.
I (like others in
this forum) like to OD on -none, and I may wear (on social and “alcoholic” occasions) about 15 sprays of TE or the
equivalent of NPA (well covered with cologne - virtually all women >30 yo compliment me for my smell). I get my fair
share of hits, few of which spectacular, many subtle, and no special adverse reactions (unless, perhaps, the one I
will be describing soon).
I am what I would define a fake alpha male: mediterranean,
40 yo, highly recognized intellectual job, well read and traveled, 5’ 11’’, 10% body fat, muscles, tan, a lot of
open air activity, good tango dancer, lone wolf syndrome, sarcastic humor; however; I am not especially good looking
in terms of face (heavily masculine, but with somehow gross features), I am shy (but when you are 40 you learn how
to hide it very well), and I just cannot effectively approach a woman if she interests me much or if I find her
exceedingly beautiful.
I have been faithful to my gf for years (she is much younger
than me, BTW), but, as my relationship was falling apart, I met this gorgeous, spectacular, bright 30 yo
psychiatrist, with whom I fell in love. She quite bluntly informed me that I would not have been her choice for a
one night stand (i.e., she does not like me much physically, as she has a sort of masculine character - conflicting
with mine BTW - and likes more ephebic, somehow feminine men), but she fell in love nevertheless, and regarded me as
a possible companion only for a long term relationship. We broke up quite soon (2 months), owing to the very long
time I had taken to close my previous relationship (pointless to say, I feel guilty).
Now she says that she absolutely wants to keep friendship, (without benefits, I dare say), but I am uncertain
whether to ditch the whole of her altogether.
When we talk over the phone, everything
is OK, but when we meet (even if I keep, given the situation, a very low profile) she becomes invariably bitchy,
aggressive, does not talk, when we dance (she inviting me) she behaves like a piece of wood, and all this
irrespective of her period (I sampled this several times). She herself made a statement noting that “on the phone it
is better”.
I am starting believing that a -none OD was OK before, as she regarded me
as a mate, but not now, as she wants just a friend. I, however, would like to recover the lover.
And now my question: should use, to try and recover her as a mate (in addition to any
other skills I am capable of using, and certainly waiting quite some time), an absurdly outlandish –none OD (say 25
drops of NPA), wait for her ovulation (which I have some indirect way to assess) and give her a half-an-hour ride to
work (so that pheros spread in the car for some time), or should I resort to minimal doses of –none, just not to
lose my signature (absolute -nol has never worked for me) with SOE or WAGG? Should I bathe in -none + Liquid Trust?
Anybody tried, with the help of –mones, to recover a lover with extremely feminine
body but masculine attitude, who likes you more for your personality/culture than for your body?
Thanks for your feedback
Reply to Gegogi and Klite
Thanks
for your reply, Gegogi
>Gegogi wrote: Funny, I'm actually extremely agressive and cutthroat beneath the surface so
when they get to know me well things tend to crap out.
Actually, I am soft spoken outside, very aggressive in
the middle layer and quite shy inside. My trouble is that I have to project a leading persona at work in an
intellectual environment, where you must word instructions like "My suggestion would be", but they must be perceived
as orders. Somebody told me that I drip kindness from every claw....
This confuses me (and, I suppose, others)
when I am not at work, especially with women who know (or have heard of) my outside persona...
>Gegogi wrote: If
you're looking for a long term relationship, creating a "fake" 'mone signature to win her back is a bad idea.
Have you tried hanging with her sans TE or NPA?
I agree entirely. No, I wear mones all year around. I may
try, but look - I try to always compensate -none with good manners and "understanding
involvement", whatever it
may mean.
I may try with no -mones at all, but I suspect that I need various days and various cycles of laundry
to get rid of all of them.
If this does not work, I will try softening, according to your suggestions (Like half a
spray of TE and quite some SOE).
Otherwise, well.... this planet is full of women
Thanks, Gegogi.
___________
As far as GKlite's questions are involved:
Heavily social occasions (Mainly dancing):
immediately before
leaving home, few sprays of cologne on my chest, let dry and cover with 3 to five sprays of sandalwood TE; 1 spray
of TE per armpit; 1 on pubic hair; a couple on the right side of my neck; I immediately wear a shirt, so that pheros
are tranferred. I spray a little amount of TE on my hand and rub the line of my jaws, and then rub hands together
During the evening, about an hour to two hours later, further 3 to 6 sprays of 50% TE 50% cologne, chest and right
side of the neck, As an alternative, straight cologne and, say, 5 to 8 drops of NPA,
Work: same amount of cologne
and three to five sprays of sandalwood TE, only to chest.
Any other occasion (like going shopping): a couple sprays
to chest with some cologne.
Hits range from DITHL, to young ladies heavily trembling in my arms when dancing, to
receiving a lot of invitations to dance in a situation in which normally only men ask, to female or male waiters
directly addressing me to take an order in a situation in which I am the youngest and the only one without a tie at
a table, to clerks who address me to "speed me up" when I am not the first in the line, to some pinches on my
bottom, to old friends telling me point-blank "it is a pity your are engaged and faithful", to (rare) unexpected
deep kisses when dancing or expressed will to give me one... No sudden bedding, though. For that, some talk and
extra activity is always required, obviously.
I must say, however, that several times in the year (especially in
hot and damp periods like late spring - i.e., now), I become absolutely transparent, regardless of any gross OD.
Nobody seems to see me or accept interaction. I do not know why it happens, but I have learned that it lasts few to
15 days, and then I become visible again.
Sounds like a psychodynamic painfest to me...
Where is all this neediness coming from ? She sounds like a weirdo anyway.... I mean, gawd....
ephebic boytoys ?... is she a reincarnated 5th century Athenian pederast or what ? Buy her a big purple
vibrator, a case of KY jelly, a bagfull of C cells, a fifth of Corvoisier XO.... and bail your ass the hell outa
there before you drive yourself mad with meta-analyses of meta-relationships... eat some mushrooms and go
skydiving... better 4 your mind than this torment.
Stick a fork in it... it's done.
The mistake is to hang on to the old, burned out, wrung out energy .... people need to learn how to get crisp
with their emotions .... be definitive about who you are and don't shilly shallly around.... you're friends,
fine you're friends, you're in lust, fine, in lust.... just get out of this damn pointless limbo of trying to
manipulate outcomes ... have you ever asked yourself "what the hell was I thinking " ? a year after the
fact .... well, put yourself in that place with this situation now and see how that works...
