What you have to believe to be...
a
Republican today::blink:
WHAT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE TO
BE A REPUBLICAN TODAY...
1. Jesus loves you, and
shares your hatred of the environment, homosexuals, and
Hillary.
2. Saddam was a good guy
when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush'sdaddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him,
anda bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"
diversion.
3. Trade with Cuba is
wrong because the country is Communist, but tradewith China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international
harmony.
4. The United States
should get out of the United Nations, and ourhighest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against
Iran.
5. A woman can't be
trusted with decisions about her own body, butmulti-national corporations can make decisions affecting all
mankindwithout regulation.
6. The best way to
improve military morale is to praise the troops inspeeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat
pay.
7. If condoms are kept
out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies,then demand
their cooperation and money.
9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providinghealth care to
all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companieshave the best interests of the public at
heart.
10. Global warming and
tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, butcreationism should be taught in
schools.
11. A president lying
about an extra-marital affair is an impeachableoffense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in
whichthousands die is solid defense policy.
12. Government should limit itself to the powers named in theConstitution, which
include banning gay marriages and censoring theInternet.
13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, butGeorge Bush's
driving and military records are none of our business.
14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're aconservative
radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayersfor your
recovery.
15. What Bill Clinton did
in the 1960s is of vital national interest,but what Bush did in the '60s is
irrelevant.
Friends don't let friends
vote Republican!---
