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last year i was a \"nice guy\" and this year i changed my image a bit and voila i\'ve been getting girls and chances with them easily...and now the pheromones and i\'m hit on to my satisfaction...i\'ve always thought that there was a difference between girls and women - that women were in the end accepting of the nice guy type whereas girls were superficial, picky, and just plain dumb to fall for the wrong guy. tell me guys with much age and experience, does it change as you get older?
not exactly.
What happens is that women\'s requirements on a \"cool guy\" get more complicated and sophisticated. The nice guy image is still a 100% loser, but the posing macho guy starts to be a loser as well if he isn\'t cool or rich enough.
What does happen is that the cool guy in the end also has to be reasonably nice. But if the first thing they think of you is \"nice\" you\'re still toast.
It\'s still much much better to be in the 90th percentile of \'cool\' and the 50th percentile of nice than the reverse.
The women will complain about the bottom 20th percentile of \'nice\' and will weed them out.
Anyway, what did you do to change your image?
well i am still friendly but not \"nice\" as in supplicating and going out of my way...and that is fine
i just invested more in my clothes, looks etc. cuz i found women are way more pickier than guys...guys are pretty simple and really are not as shallow as some women make them out to be...too many girls have problems i was hoping women would be different...i wouldn\'t say women like those mean assholes, but those guys have that appeal that women fall for and think of in romantic terms...being nice in a friendly way is fine, just not in a desperate \"i\'ll do anything for you\" type of way
Women are highly variable - some have good character, avoid risk, and look to the future - others are impulsive, liars, etc. but I\'ll try to generalize in a useful manner.
When women are still young, wild, and care-free, the bad boy style is a winner. Someday, they\'ll start to hear that old biological clock ticking and their fun career starts to seem like work. That\'s when they start getting serious about mating. Of course, nowadays, adolescence extends beyond the child-bearing years for too many people.
A woman looking for a husband is the one complaining \"where are all the good men?\" What she means is where is the guy who will support my children and put up with me. I didn\'t say conceive her children, that may differ! Since \"bad boys\" don\'t usually have steady income, a woman\'s criteria evolve towards men with 1) good income and 2) leadership qualities. \"Leadership\" replaces \"bad boy-ness\" as a sign of an alpha male. That includes not being needy, being able to defend the brood, and being socially acceptable. Bad boys often start to look like losers when it comes down to mating.
Overly \"Nice guy\" behavior in courtship can\'t last in a relationship - the guy will either become such a wuzzy husband that the woman has no respect or the guy wises up and realizes that she\'s taking and not giving - he then turns bitter or blows up. You can\'t buy love so don\'t even try.
The key is to be yourself and to look out for yourself and your offspring - mating is about negotiating the best deal between a man and a woman so that the family that results will be strong and survive. A woman will look up to the man who shows her that he can be in charge and that she and her children will thrive under his leadership - \"male head of household.\". There is also a fine line between being trustworthy and being exploitable.
I will admit to not having it all figured out myself but this is what I\'d tell my sons.
A far easier approach is to be youreself and go for self improvement. Me persoanlly my natural signature screems no sex - nice guy friends only play for a fool flirt but only flirt then run when i start getting serious. They talk about my need for a girlfriend but never actually become one etc. I lack the sex pheromone that says go yes you are mine etc etc.
\"last year i was a \"nice guy\" and this year i changed my image a bit and voila i\'ve been getting girls and chances with them easily...and now the pheromones and i\'m hit on to my satisfaction...i\'ve always thought that there was a difference between girls and women - that women were in the end accepting of the nice guy type whereas girls were superficial, picky, and just plain dumb to fall for the wrong guy. tell me guys with much age and experience, does it change as you get older? \"
The other posters are right. When girls grow up neither the bad boy nor the nice guy will win. Self-improvement and complexity in character are what you should be aiming for.
JPGR;
Ditto to the above posts. Being yourself will get you farther in not just the dating game but also in self estime. Read few articles about this type of behavior a few months back. The better you feel about yourself the better you are mentally and physically. Makes sense...you really do not see to many deppressed un-fat, fit, sucessful people do you? And attitude and self-estime go hand in hand with that.
But what about this: \"For all the older guys...a question about life..\" ? Olser....Well I guess I am going to be 38 in Oct so to some I may fall into the older catagory. It just seemed like yesterday I was the 20 yr old looking at guys my age thinking \"Man he is old\". But more guys my age are hanging out in clubs and being bachelors these days it seems. As well as women our age. But One thing I can say guys....We age much better than our female counterparts! As a whole group I mean.
Anyway Cheers
TCO
It\'s a small path surrounded with rifts from all sides. I think the best way is to be something I call the \"mr. nice pussyhunter defender\". You gotta be nice to the woman/girl of your desire but she needs to know that you are potent enought to satisfy her in all needs and powerfull enough to hold her at all costs.
You just need to be mr. niceguy and mr. axeswinging childreneater in one person. It\'s not that simple because you can easily tend to much to one side, it looks like tending more to the alphatype side is better than beeing too nice. That\'s how herd alphas react, show your teeth but support *your* females and lower males when needed and chase away or destroy intruders.
It maybe od, but in human relations often one of the factors given above is substituted with money.
Sum:
be nice when needed
bark at everybody who ist after your female
defend her
make her life easier (often with money)
f*** her like hell (sorry for the f word ... but that\'s the way you should think)
*show her that you are able to fullfill all of the above points, before they get important*
That are my own conclusions and they worked well for me. I don\'t dare anybody to try this at home [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]. It might fail ... it might work. I am in a lucky relationship for some years now. I got her beeing like this and I hold her that way. It is mostly part of my nature (though I\'d like to be nicer, it\'s hard to be a little cruel sometimes). I urge everybody not to play a role, just be natural and just adapt the \"harder line\" to your personalality.
Young women are fickle - it makes sense, they have time to play and learn what type of man they like. As they move into their thirties they become more practical, especially about finding a child-rearing partner. They also may become desperate if the ticking biological clock is an issue for them. Young or older, it doesn\'t matter much - you can\'t change them…have to concentrate on yourself (although it does help to understand women\'s needs/desires/fears/etc.).
I routinely date women half my age. Here\'s what I\'ve learned if it helps:
Be realistic about your own \'market value\'. Most guys either have no self esteem, or think too highly of what they\'re worth as a mate. It\'s a cutthroat sexual marketplace - don\'t be in denial in either direction.
Maximize your \'resume\' qualifications. In a word, make as much money as possible - money covers a lot of sins. Studies show women value looks in a man very highly, but will trade off looks to some degree for wealth. If you can\'t get rich, at least begin to look the part or foster the idea of your \'potential\' (future wealth).
Maximize your own personality type. Almost any personality is seductive to some women, and you can\'t predict what an individual woman will go for. So be yourself. But don\'t be self indulgent - know your strengths and weaknesses, and work to project your best attributes and eliminate your faults (or at least hide them). Make a project of this - write this stuff down and get to work. Doing this breeds the natural confidence that comes from self-understanding and pride - you can\'t fake it.
Maximize your social skills. Expand your social circle, build friendships with women even if you\'re not dating…you never know what will develop. In short, spend time with women as much as possible - it puts you at ease with them and leads to many contacts. Be careful how you treat all women to guard your reputation - you can bet they will all talk with each other about your screwups. If you\'re shy you\'re just going to have to get over it to some degree - men are still expected to make the initial moves with women.
Maximize your self-control. Don\'t be gushy with your emotions, especially in the beginning. It\'s fine to be genuinely warm and interested in her, but don\'t go off the deep end just because you have \'feelings\'. Don\'t over-react to her nonsense, don\'t be whiny or needy - she wants a man, not a child. In fact, don\'t think too much about yourself at all - it makes you self-conscious and nervous, and women read that as \'weird\'. Focus on her, penetrate her psychology, be giving without being a sap, and be willing to call things off when your self-respect is on the line.
thanks for all your help guys...i agree with y\'all
i\'ve noticed that mr. nice guy may seem like a good friend, but he\'s not someone most girls would want a sexual relationship with because he seems like a wuss...all this stuff involves double standards it\'s so dumb...girls are dumb too and weak themselves so they need a \"man\"
anyway i\'m short and slim, so recently i\'ve been working out...girls think i\'m cute and all, friendly and all that but not macho...so usually i\'m just smart with words and that has helped...but i think to be nice you don\'t necessarily have to be a wuss
Hence that is why i have taken 6 months out of the dating sphere to bulk up as much as possible also using the advice and some of the nutricinal stuff here (Super horny goat weed,tribulus and many other things really should be taken off the market because they are just way to effective for my liking) he he. Well putting on weight then converting to muscles is [censored] easy also lol. But i have had to put work in as far as 3 hours per night solid lifting weights and eating like ive never eaten before but the results speak for themselves.
Even if women still see me as friend only im starting to notice a change as i get a washboard stomach and getting more appealing and attractive etc in general it leads to confusion (which idont mind) they always see me as the lower male (well did and friend type) but even being bigger now it changes things quite considerably. Not to mention the casting work that has mysteriously started to come my way from this agency who represent me but never ring at all. Are they in for a shock lol. Later DD
Beeing the good friend type guy is really hard. I have one special case of this in my family. One of my relatives is always making contacts with women. He\'s pulling them to him like a magnet would du with metal shards. But there is one big problem, he\'s always the nice good friend and he stays on this level, always. I thought about it and came to the conclusion, that he is everything but a alpha type guy. He\'s never taking the lead of anything, walks always behind other male mates and is somehow afraid of eye-contact. I think the worst thing is, that he\'s just too nice. Beeing really alpha and beeing nice to some level is ok, but beeing non-alpha and nice makes you a wuss in the sight of most women.
Hmmmm ... maybe I should give him some PI/m [img]/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif[/img]
*edit*
Note: Independant studies have proven Tribulus to be completely effectless. The study that had proven Tribulus to be affecting the male testosterone level has been started by the company which produced the first product on the czech market (the first product in the whole world).
I am currently searching the source of this information ...
JPGR...
...What you have to realize is life is about suffering and learning from it. If you change too much you\'ll meet that really nice girl who suddenly thinks you\'re an a-hole while all the chicks you wouldn\'t date anyway think you\'re way cool. That\'s what\'s most likely to happen. I think you\'ve found the happy medium. Dress well, be friendly, social but don\'t be a push over and don\'t suffer in silence.
What I mean is if you\'re dating a chick and she decides she wants to treat you like crap, let her know you want be trated that way. If you got a chick whose treating you like a dick in a jar you tell her too, \"Hey, I want be treated this way, find another dick in a jar.\" (That gets attention I\'ll tell you). Women have to know you\'ll be nice to them but you won\'t take crap from them. You don\'t have to be abusive of course but you do have to be strong and if you\'re a great guy and she\'s smart they\'ll come crying back to you (they usually do). And remember this. Sluts are a dime a dozen, a good man is priceless. Some chick will figure it out and she\'ll be on you like white on rice.
Thanks much for the verification! I was brought up to be \"a nice guy,\" and quite frankly, it\'s gotten me NOWHERE! I recently killed him, along with most of the other warm-and-fuzzy, though oh-so-impotent little helpers. Just the psychotherapist has yet to be offed, and that\'s likely VERY soon.
The pheros HAVE helped in the various arenas, though. I find people just KEEP TALKING TO ME, whether I want them to -- OR NOT. It\'s amazing what people will open up to you with!
Well im an alpha and nice but it still leaves things the same luckily the genes in my family have produced national level sports reps and variuos record holders in swimming and athletics. So therefore it is easy for me to bulk on the muscle i already have and to add more as i go. I intend to get real fit get smart and make some cash and heck if no one comes along well ill take my pheromones off to the casino and have some fun there as i have in the past. I guess it is slightly easier for older guys because they have the experience with women whereas us younger guys still need more prac to get through.