My Kind Of Friends

"Hi! My

name is Chucky! And I'm your friend til the END!" :rasp:

Are you tired of all those sissy

"friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? :think: Well, here is a series

of promises that really speaks to true friendship:wub: :

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and

plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever

is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on

you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories

about how much worse could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little

words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I

don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my

oath...I pledge it till the end. :drunk: Why? You may ask. Because you are my friend.

Send this to 10 of your

closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right

now anyway.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me

know if I ever need to bring a shovel.:whip:

Damn chain letters.



Adams

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DAdams91982

Damn chain

letters.

Adams

---

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DAdams91982

Damn chain

letters.

Adams

---

What theeeee!? I take a vacation in California, come back, and look what took place! :sad:

Let's see if I can fix this! First, this is the humor section, yes? Good! Now, close your eyes...think h u m o

r...good! Now think...Mobley + humor...great! Now....

"Send this to 10 of your closest friends"

Damnit! It is a chain letter!! :blink: I hate chain letters!!!


", then get depressed

because you can only think of two and one of them isn't speaking to you right now anyway."



So you only get to send this to one other person...can that mean it's a link letter since

it's only one person that you can send it to? And since it's not an email that can be forwarded, do I get excused?

I'm not a penis, honest! Speaking of which....


Five reasons not to be a penis:



Your head is bald forever.
You live between two nuts.


An as$hole lives behind you.
Your best mate’s a cunt.


When you get excited, you get sick and then faint.


Annnnd speaking of

fainting.....


An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village.

They seem to hit it off; they share each other's values, enjoy the same jokes, and find pleasure in each other's

company.

After a few months, the widower asks for the hand of the widow in marriage. She appears hesitant and

decided to probe her soon-to-be a little.

"Perhaps I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but... How's

your health?"

"It's OK", he answers. "I'm not getting any younger, but I don't have any major health

problems. I can still enjoy life."

"Well, then," she replies. "I don't want to be a snoop, but I've got to

protect myself, how are you fixed financially?"

"So-so. I'm not rich, but I'm comfortable. You don't have to

worry about me sponging off you; I can support myself."

The little old lady blushes, and finally asks her

swain, "And how's your sex life?"

"Infrequently." he declares.

The widow ponders this for a moment or so,

before asking, "And is that one word or two?" :LOL:

P.S. Anybody seen that Elana lady? Is it true she got

locked up, and they won't let her out? :run:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MOBLEYC57

P.S. Anybody seen that Elana lady? Is it true she got locked up, and they won't let

her out? :run:

---

I think what happened was the best thing for her. Hopefully, she's doing

something more productive now.

Before I am taken the wrong way, I would like to say that the same applies to me

as well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DAdams91982

Damn chain

letters.

Adams

---

PS: This is not, by definition, a chain letter. I believe a chain letter requires that

the writer plays off of luck or superstition by saying you will die if you don't send it on but will meet the

person of your dreams if you send it to 10 or more people. "This letter has been passed along since 1923, when

somebody won the lottery and decided to pass on his good fortune..." or something like that. In fact, I believe

this is making fun of chain letters by saying you could only think of a couple of people to send it along to. The

fact that people pass it on does not make it a chain letter, it makes it a popular e-mail to forward to 'true

friends'.

But we're getting into semantics, I guess... :hammer:

On a side note, I don't have any

reeeeeeeally good friends because I'm not driving to Nevada to bury any bodies... :angel: I have, however, helped

a few people move in the past few months...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pancho1188

PS: This

is not, by definition, a chain letter. I believe a chain letter requires that the writer plays off of luck or

superstition by saying you will die if you don't send it on but will meet the person of your dreams if you send it

to 10 or more people. "This letter has been passed along since 1923, when somebody won the lottery and decided to

pass on his good fortune..." or something like that. In fact, I believe this is making fun of chain letters by

saying you could only think of a couple of people to send it along to. The fact that people pass it on does not make

it a chain letter, it makes it a popular e-mail to forward to 'true friends'.

But we're getting into

semantics, I guess... :hammer:

On a side note, I don't have any reeeeeeeally good friends because I'm not

driving to Nevada to bury any bodies... :angel: I have, however, helped a few people move in the past few

months...

---

Well by technicality... wouldnt a chain letter, just involve passing it on??? So in turns not

breaking the "Chain?" I wouldnt think when it started or that your going to grow a 12 inch genitalia would

matter.

Adams

When it started doesn't

matter...that was just an example of some of the worst ones I've seen. A chain letter, though, in its truest form

must have some type of superstition attached to it. "Send this to 10 people or you'll die heinously in a car crash

because the person you hated most in the world drunkenly knocked over the stop sign the night before." Otherwise,

it's just a popular e-mail. For instance, if I send an e-mail with a bunch of interesting facts, such as "a

woman's orgasm involves 87 muscle contractions per second," "10 percent of women have made love to a man while he

was asleep," and other interesting facts...and you forward it on...and they forward it on...that doesn't make it a

chain letter. You didn't try to force someone to send it on to a million people for good luck. It was just for

fun. A chain letter specifically "requires" you to send it on in the letter. I would consider hoax virus e-mails

and such chain letters. "Send to everyone you know so they don't get the virus!!!" when it doesn't even exist. I

guess there's a fuzzy line there...but I believe this instance was just joking about being a chain letter.



Actually, let me look this up...

chain letter
n.
A letter sent to a number of people asking

each recipient to send copies with the same request to a specified number of others. The circulation of a chain

letter increases in geometrical progression as long as the instructions are followed by all recipients. Okay, that

makes me right...

chain letter

n : a letter that is sent successively to several people


Okay,

that makes you right. Oh, well. We're both right. Like I said, though, the purest sense of the term would be the

first one. However, you're right because in general, I guess you just have to keep passing it on for it to be a

'chain', although I would hate to have an e-mail I sent to people be classified as such because I don't pass on

'chain letters' but I will forward the occasional link to an interesting site that will keep being forwarded on

because others will want to see it, too.

Amen!...................

hahahaha.... This just

proves one thing... I am too damn literal.

Adams

What have I done!!!? :sad: I've

created a monster!! :twisted: Helloooooooooooo! H U M O R...Find it, drop your pants, take a load off, and just

relaaaax...please? :thumbsup: I am soooooooooo sorry.:box: Hope I don't have to come through this computer to bring

things back to oder by stepping on some pinky toes! :trout:

Shouldn't people be penalized for getting serious

in the humor section? Mones fer everybody...and it's on all serious posters in the HUMOR section...geez. I'll have

Chikara, Pheros and some Perception, please. :lovestruc

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MOBLEYC57

What have I

done!!!? :sad: I've created a monster!! :twisted: Helloooooooooooo! H U M O R...Find it, drop your pants, take a

load off, and just relaaaax...please?

---

Hey! hey, now noOne is dropping their pants off and taking any

load off in here!...Please!!!:rofl:
*closes her eyes*
:trout:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SweetBrenda

Hey! hey,

now noOne is dropping their pants off and taking any load off in here!...Please!!!:rofl:
*closes her

eyes*
:trout:

---

Wassa matter, little sugar? Pancho and Signor Adam wouldn't hurt'cha none. :kiss:



Fortune cookie say..."He who is tooooo serious fer wrong reason, often need long quiet time in bathroom with lots

of air freshner, to lighten da load." :cheers:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SweetBrenda

Hey! hey,

now noOne is dropping their pants off and taking any load off in here!...Please!!!:rofl:
*closes her

eyes*
:trout:

---

Okay... you said no ONE... and capitalized the O in one.... are you saying more than

one???

Adams

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DAdams91982

Okay...

you said no ONE... and capitalized the O in one.... are you saying more than one???

Adams

---

You are such a

Smart A$$... haha :rasp:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by SweetBrenda

You are

such a Smart A$$... haha :rasp:

---

I try... I try

Adams

This is a chain letter. It

prays on your desire for good things to happen to you and to avoid bad luck. You know it won't work, but you

can't help but hope.

"I hope this works..."

Notice the ways they sucker you:

1. The Testimonial:
"So

and so did this, and now they have a beautiful wife, millions of dollars, and a job as head of a fortune 500

company"

"This may sound crazy, but five minutes after I sent this the Dixie Chicks walked in to film a porn

with me..."

2. The Poem/Story
"Roses are red
Violets are blue
You are my friend
May your wish come true!"



"A man was walking on a beach when he found a lamp. He rubbed it, and a genie popped out. He says, "You have one

wish." The man says, "Holy shit! A genie in a bottle! I wish I had a camera!"

3. The Wish
"Make a wish!"



4. The Time Limit
"You must send this within the next 30 seconds or it won't work!"

5. The

Requirement
"Send it to one person: You will get laid. Two people: You'll get laid twice. Five people: You'll

have an orgy. Ten people: Two words: Olsen twins."

The testimonial makes you think it's possible and gets you

thinking what great things could happen, the poem makes you think that the legend/story/letter has merit and changes

a person's fate for the good, the wish gets you to want something good to happen so bad that you'd be willing to

send a letter to 20 people if it meant that you'd get that wish, the time limit makes you send it right away

because you're more likely to send it now than later when you forget about it, and the requirement makes you send

it to more people to spread the letter that someone made up a long time ago to boost their own egos by having so

much influence on people for absolutely no reason other than giving them false hope. I admit that I'd like to

think of a joke of some sort that's so funny that it would get spread to e-mails all over the world...but I would

never prey on people's hopes and dreams like this. You could argue that this gives people hope, but I don't buy

it.


Good luck to everyone! And may all your dreams come

true!!



This may

sound nuts, but my husband got this the other day and sent it off. About 10 minutes later a really good financial

windfall happened for his son Sean who he had sent it too as well One of the people he sent it to was responsible

for the

windfall.







[/c

olor]AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH

[font=Tahoma]

[/f

ont]




[/co

lor]Good Luck!!


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]I hope it

works...









May there always be work for your hands to do;


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]May your purse always

hold a

coinhttp://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_9_1!%203.gif

or two;


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]May the sun always

shine on your windowpane;

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_4_22.gif
[color=blac

k]
[color=g

reen]May a rainbow be certain to follow each

rain;



[/fon

t]May the hand of a

friend always be near

you;http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_4_105.gif[fo

nt=Tahoma]



[/fon

t]May God fill your

heart with gladness to cheer

you.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/205.gif



[font

=Tahoma]OK, this is what you have to do....


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]Send th is to all of

your friends!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_201.gifBut - you HAVE to send


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]this within 1

hourhttp://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/12/12_1_100.gif from when you open

it!





Now.........

......Make A

wish!!!!!!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_13_1.gif





I hope you made your wish! Now then, if you send to:


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]1 person --- your

wish will be granted in 1 year


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]3 people --- 6 months


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]5 people --- 3 months


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]6 people --- 1 month


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]7 people --- 2 weeks


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]8

people --- 1 week


[font=Tahoma]
[

/font]9 people --- 5 days


[font=Verdana]
[/f

ont]10 people --- 3

days


[color=black]
[/

color]12 people --- 2 days


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]15 people --- 1 day


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]20 people --- 3

hours







If you delete this after you read it... you will have 1 year of bad luck! But... if you send it 2


[font=Tahoma]
[/fon

t]of your friends you

will automatically have 3 years of good luck!!! :-)



[img]http

://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_9_13.gif[/img]