MOBLEYC57
02-29-2004, 02:57 PM
Howdy! Cream
and sugar, or....
DANGEROUS OUTDOOR SEX!
A trucker who had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep
hill and was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center
road, making love. He blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. Realizing that they were not
about to get out of his way he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them.
Getting out of the cab,
madder than hell, the trucker walked to the front of the cab and looked down at the two, still in the road, and
yelled, \"What the hell\'s the matter with you two? Didn\'t you hear me blowing the horn? You could\'ve been
killed!\"
The man on the highway, obviously satisfied and not too concerned, fired up a cigarette, looked up,
and said, \"Look man...I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with
brakes.\"
PROBLEMS WITH PREMATURE EJACULATION!!
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he
decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.
In response, the doctor
said, \"When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.\"
That same day the man
went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife.
At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked, wet and wanting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69
position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day,
the man went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked, \"How did it go?\" The man answered, \"Not that
well...when I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit me really hard where it counts most, and my neighbor,
Bill, came out of the closet with his hands in the air!\"
ONLY IN AMERICA!!!
A waitress walks up to a table
where three Japanese men are seated. When she gets to the table, the waitress notices that the three men are
furiously masturbating.
She asks, \"What the hell are you three perverts doing jacking off at my table!!!!!?\"
One man replies, \"We all very very hungry!\"
She answers, \"Hungry!!!? Then why in the hell are you
jerking off?\"
Another man answers, \"Because wise menu say...\'First Come, First Served!\'
\"
THAT LITTLE JOHNNY FELLA!!!!
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, \"Son, you know eating all that candy isn\'t
good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.\"
Little Johnny looked at the man and
said, \"You know....my grandfather lived to be 107 years old.\"
\"Oh?\", replied the man. \"Did your
grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?\"
\"No\", replied Little Johnny, \"he minded his own f#cking
business!!\"
LITTLE JOHNNY GETS HIM A BLONDE!!!!!
Little Johnny took his blonde girlfriend to her first
football game. They had great seats right behind their team\'s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked
the experience.
\"Oh, I really liked it,\" she replied \"especially the tight pants and all the big muscles,
but I just couldn\'t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents.\"
Dumbfounded, Little Johnny
asked, \"What do you mean?\"
\"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the
game, all they kept screaming was, \'Get the quarterback! Kill the quarterback!\' HELLLLO.!!...it\'s only 25
cents! I hate to think what they\'d do if it was a whole DOLLAR?\"
Gotta quarter I can borrow?
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif
and sugar, or....
DANGEROUS OUTDOOR SEX!
A trucker who had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep
hill and was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center
road, making love. He blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them. Realizing that they were not
about to get out of his way he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them.
Getting out of the cab,
madder than hell, the trucker walked to the front of the cab and looked down at the two, still in the road, and
yelled, \"What the hell\'s the matter with you two? Didn\'t you hear me blowing the horn? You could\'ve been
killed!\"
The man on the highway, obviously satisfied and not too concerned, fired up a cigarette, looked up,
and said, \"Look man...I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with
brakes.\"
PROBLEMS WITH PREMATURE EJACULATION!!
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he
decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.
In response, the doctor
said, \"When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.\"
That same day the man
went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to his wife.
At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked, wet and wanting. As the two began, they found themselves in the 69
position. The man, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day,
the man went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked, \"How did it go?\" The man answered, \"Not that
well...when I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit me really hard where it counts most, and my neighbor,
Bill, came out of the closet with his hands in the air!\"
ONLY IN AMERICA!!!
A waitress walks up to a table
where three Japanese men are seated. When she gets to the table, the waitress notices that the three men are
furiously masturbating.
She asks, \"What the hell are you three perverts doing jacking off at my table!!!!!?\"
One man replies, \"We all very very hungry!\"
She answers, \"Hungry!!!? Then why in the hell are you
jerking off?\"
Another man answers, \"Because wise menu say...\'First Come, First Served!\'
\"
THAT LITTLE JOHNNY FELLA!!!!
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, \"Son, you know eating all that candy isn\'t
good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.\"
Little Johnny looked at the man and
said, \"You know....my grandfather lived to be 107 years old.\"
\"Oh?\", replied the man. \"Did your
grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?\"
\"No\", replied Little Johnny, \"he minded his own f#cking
business!!\"
LITTLE JOHNNY GETS HIM A BLONDE!!!!!
Little Johnny took his blonde girlfriend to her first
football game. They had great seats right behind their team\'s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked
the experience.
\"Oh, I really liked it,\" she replied \"especially the tight pants and all the big muscles,
but I just couldn\'t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents.\"
Dumbfounded, Little Johnny
asked, \"What do you mean?\"
\"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the
game, all they kept screaming was, \'Get the quarterback! Kill the quarterback!\' HELLLLO.!!...it\'s only 25
cents! I hate to think what they\'d do if it was a whole DOLLAR?\"
Gotta quarter I can borrow?
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif