Question for the gals. :) [Archive] - Love-Scent Pheromones Forum

View Full Version : Question for the gals. :)

bundyburger

02-10-2004, 10:58 PM

Something

I\'ve been doing for a while is putting my hand on a woman\'s bare shoulder for a second when I say something to

them. Not too often. Maybe in a bar or club or whatever. All part of increasing touch and getting myself in the mode

of being more natural with it, but something unexpected is coming from it. It seems to be having a stronger effect

than I would have thought.

Is there a stronger message being sent when I do this? Any thoughts from woman on the

forum?

Any enlightenment would be fantastic. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Sexyredhead

02-11-2004, 12:10 AM

If

you\'re putting your hand on her shoulder from behind to tell her somethng it\'s one thing. But if you\'re

doing it from the front, it really puts you into her personal space. If she\'s interested, that\'s a good thing

because it kind of makes the space between you more intimate--you\'re putting up a \"barrier\" to the outside

with your arm. But if she\'s not, it may be too close, and she\'ll feel like you\'re invading her space and

get squirrelly on you.

Elana

02-11-2004, 04:51 AM

Dr.

SRH...you are good. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Sexyredhead

02-11-2004, 05:08 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
Dr. SRH...you are good.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

Nah. Just

prone to squirrelly-ness. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Elana

02-11-2004, 05:17 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
Dr. SRH...you are good. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

Nah. Just prone to squirrelly-ness.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

bjf

02-11-2004, 05:53 AM

Yea...I agree,

doing that without any signs that it is okay is kind of rude in my opinion, but some women go for it or don\'t

mind.

Okay, what about dancing? This is something I haven\'t figured out. With someone you just met at a

club...

Some guys just kind of grab them. If I was a chick, I wouldn\'t want to be pinned.

Putting your

hands on her hips in kind of pointless though. There is not any real close contact and it just restricts the

movement of both parties.

So how do women feel about this issue? Please speak from a POV of you are dancing with

someone that you haven\'t formed a definitive opinion on yet.

Thanks

Elana

02-11-2004, 06:01 AM

I can\'t

stand when guys grab at me on the dance floor when I am not interested. IMHO if a guy is dancing with a girl he

should not take the liberty to run his hands all over her body unless she starts it.

What bothers me more than

anything is when I am out with the girls and we are on the dance floor and guys start grinding up all over us.

GO AWAY! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

bjf

02-11-2004, 06:06 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
I can\'t stand when guys grab at me on the dance

floor when I am not interested. IMHO if a guy is dancing with a girl he should not take the liberty to run his hands

all over her body unless she starts it.

What bothers me more than anything is when I am out with the girls and we

are on the dance floor and guys start grinding up all over us.

GO AWAY!

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

That\'s how I

read it.

Now \"when you are not interested\" .... does that mean when you know you don\'t like him in that

way or when you just met the person and are simply dancing with them (ie not attracted/not

unattracted)

Thanks!

Elana

02-11-2004, 06:06 AM

one more

thing...........I would not let the annoying guy on the dance floor know that he was bothering me. I would just

finish the dance and then polity say goodbye and avoid him for the rest of the night. Don\'t assume because she

doesn\'t say anything that it is OK. You have to really read her signals.

Elana

02-11-2004, 06:07 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
That\'s how I read it.

Now \"when you

are not interested\" .... does that mean when you know you don\'t like him in that way or when you just met the

person and are simply dancing with them (ie not attracted/not unattracted)

Thanks!

<hr

/></blockquote>

It means that there is no instant chemistry. But if he is a cool guy

and I feel comfortable around him, I would probably be happy to continue dancing with him or talking to him off of

the dance floor.

bjf

02-11-2004, 06:21 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
That\'s how I read it.

Now \"when you are not interested\" .... does

that mean when you know you don\'t like him in that way or when you just met the person and are simply dancing

with them (ie not attracted/not unattracted)

Thanks!

<hr /></blockquote>

It means

that there is no instant chemistry. But if he is a cool guy and I feel comfortable around him, I would probably be

happy to continue dancing with him or talking to him off of the dance floor.

<hr /></blockquote>

Okay, well I am a cool guy.

But nobody\'s ripping off my clothes.

And I ask women to

dance, don\'t just throw my crotch at them. I\'ll go in there if I am getting the non-verbal invite.

So I

still dont know what is okay and what is not. Truth of the matter is, though, my dancing is decent accept for my

hands! Never know how to work the hands. So wanting to get closer is more of a thing of being comfortable, but at

the same time, I don\'t want to be hanging on to someone who really enjoys dancing and wants to go crazy to the

music. You know what I mean?

Not sure what to do.

Sexyredhead

02-11-2004, 06:29 AM

This

may help you figure out what to do with your hands.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

http://ww

w.zefrank.com/indexdance.html (\"http://www.zefrank.com/indexdance.html\")

Other than that, read her body language. Move a little closer but

don\'t touch her. If she\'s receptive, she won\'t move back and make more room for herself to dance.

bjf

02-11-2004, 06:38 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
This may help you figure out what to do with your

hands.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

http://www.ze

frank.com/indexdance.html (\"http://www.zefrank.com/indexdance.html\")

Other than that, read her body language. Move a little closer but don\'t touch

her. If she\'s receptive, she won\'t move back and make more room for herself to dance.

<hr

/></blockquote>

LOL, that link has to be a joke, right? I\'m better than

that!

Thanks for the advice about getting closer. I am really good reading body language, etc so I\'ll try

that.

With someone you have neutral opionion about, do you think dancing close is fun, or would you rather be

able to jus do your thing?

Elana

02-11-2004, 06:40 AM

I love that

link! I haven\'t seen it in forever. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Sexyredhead

02-11-2004, 06:42 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
This may help you figure out what to do with your hands.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

http://www.ze

frank.com/indexdance.html (\"http://www.zefrank.com/indexdance.html\")

Other than that, read her body language. Move a little closer but don\'t touch

her. If she\'s receptive, she won\'t move back and make more room for herself to dance.

<hr

/></blockquote>

LOL, that link has to be a joke, right? I\'m better than

that!

Thanks for the advice about getting closer. I am really good reading body language, etc so I\'ll try

that.

With someone you have neutral opionion about, do you think dancing close is fun, or would you rather be

able to jus do your thing?

<hr /></blockquote>

I\'m one who likes my space. If

I\'m neutral about a guy, I will want to keep my space--think close if the dance calls for it, but not glued

together.

bjf

02-11-2004, 06:50 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
I\'m one who likes my space. If I\'m neutral

about a guy, I will want to keep my space--think close if the dance calls for it, but not glued together.

<hr

/></blockquote>

Thanks! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif

I\'d guess

anyone who enjoys dancing (not for the sake of hooking up) would feel the same way, but WTF do I know!

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Elana

02-11-2004, 09:33 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
Okay, well I am a cool guy.

<hr

/></blockquote>

You just keep telling yourself that

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Pancho1188

02-11-2004, 10:07 AM

\"The

Little Kicks\" rocks!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif (shown as \"Elaine Ripped Me

Off\")

By the way, I almost got this confused with \"Elana Ripped My Clothes Off\", which I would demonstrate

with a video except for the fact that:

a. Elana made me promise never to tell anyone
b. I would really need

Elana to perform the move with me (again /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif)to do it justice

\"You

make the first move\", \"Let me make the first move when dancing\", do this, do that... Make up your damn

minds!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif Oh, the

hell with it...I\'m going out with BBB for Valentine\'s Day...at least my head won\'t explode trying to figure

this whole \"process\" out...

I have a new rule: you see Pancho, you like Pancho, you come up to Pancho and

say, \"Hey, you\'re hot. Let\'s go get something to eat.\" It doesn\'t matter who you are or where

you\'re from, the combination of a compliment and offer of company + food will make it inevitable for me to say

\"yes\". /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

But I digress...go with SRH. Shoulder-touching is

like invading the personal space. The alarm sounds, her shields go up, and you might just put her on defense. In a

business setting, some people have called that sexual harrassment (although it\'s sad but true). You could always

start further away like the hand, but since a lot of people see the hand as very intimate you may try the forearm or

arm. While you\'re at it, you can oogle over how firm and sexy her tricep is..........yes, only a workout guru

would say such a thing...

Okay, my rambling is done.........

bjf

02-11-2004, 10:43 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
Okay, well I am a cool guy.

<hr /></blockquote>

You just keep telling yourself that /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

<hr

/></blockquote>

If you were a booger, I\'d pick you

Sexyredhead

02-11-2004, 10:49 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
Okay, well

I am a cool guy.

<hr /></blockquote>

You just keep telling yourself that

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

If you were a

booger, I\'d pick you

<hr /></blockquote>

Well, there goes lunch. :P~~~

bjf

02-11-2004, 10:51 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
<blockquote>Quote:<hr />

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
Okay, well I am a cool guy.

<hr

/></blockquote>

You just keep telling yourself that

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

If you were

a booger, I\'d pick you

<hr /></blockquote>

Well, there goes lunch. :P~~~

<hr /></blockquote>

Save some for me?

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

tallmacky

02-11-2004, 01:09 PM

BJF do

the fingerbang technique.

Just search for the lady of your choice on the floor, and walk up to her, and without

saying anything just smile and start finger banging her....if she is a real trooper she will thank you later.

By

the way I need my own advice column with the great words of advice I have for Manchorito and now BJF it is obvious I

know what I am talking about.

P.S. Don\'t try the anal fingerbang until you masturbated the newbie technique

or you could get a negative reaction.

bjf

02-11-2004, 01:15 PM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
BJF do the fingerbang technique.

Just search for

the lady of your choice on the floor, and walk up to her, and without saying anything just smile and start finger

banging her....if she is a real trooper she will thank you later.

By the way I need my own advice column with the

great words of advice I have for Manchorito and now BJF it is obvious I know what I am talking about.

P.S.

Don\'t try the anal fingerbang until you masturbated the newbie technique or you could get a negative reaction.

<hr /></blockquote>

TM, when I asked you to start posting again, I didn\'t mean that

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

tallmacky

02-11-2004, 01:42 PM

Yes, I

know bjf /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif. I had forgot to take my Ritalin, Prozac, and Zoloft.

After I take those I will be fine. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

I think the way most women

don\'t like to be all of a sudden touched, rubbed up on, or googled in odd situations is also a true but, to a

lesser degree for how guys feel. Most guys say they would love that type of attention yet if it happen on a regular

basis or if it has happen to you, you are left wondering, WTF? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

bundyburger

02-11-2004, 02:47 PM

To

clarify too that I\'d be standing from the front, maybe a little to the side of her and putting my right hand on

her left shoulder. So not quite fully invading her personal space.
Except for once, the reactions have been

astonishing.
That one particular time is even more peculiar: Shocked reaction and a sense of \"How dare you?! /

I\'m confused about that!\", but later on she showed EXTREME interest in me that wasn\'t there beforehand

So

SRH, do you think it\'s working the way it is because I\'m sending a strong \"I like you.\" message? And the

reactions are dependent on their thoughts about me? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

CptKipling

02-12-2004, 02:24 PM

It also

shows you are confident enough to approach and talk to women, and (if you do it right) give the impression that you

are interesting and \"safe\" (extroverted, fun to be around, good talker etc.).

My take on the dance initiation

issue:

Without question it can be awkward, and you may end up looking like a prick, but it doesn\'t need to

happen.

I find it quite entertaining to watch guys try in vain to start dancing with girls, esp. at my age. It

usually goes as follows: They hover around the girls stealing the odd glance, always paying attention to any move

the girls make (no matter how hard to try to look nonchalant /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif). Then

if they think the girl might like them they come up behind them, put their hands on her hips, and try to start

grinding. Nice try. There are some variations, but they all revolve around a similar \"quick lets avoid any

possibility of looking silly whilst dancing and cut strait to the chase\" theme. First lesson; learn to dance,

nothing extravagant, keep it simple. There isn\'t any point going to a club to pick up girls on the dance floor if

you can\'t dance.

Whatever you do, don\'t grab anyone’s arse, it\'s rude. Granted, if you already have a

decent rapport going with a girl then it\'s fine to do it playfully, but only if the situation warrants it. Only

people who aren\'t confident to put their arse (no pun intended, but I will accept any laughs graciously) on the

line and initiate properly with a girl do this.

The best way to initiate in a club is with eye contact and a

smile. Then you can either move in to ask her name or what ever, which is great for phero users because you have to

get really close to talk in a club, or maintain eye contact and dance with her. Remember that their are lots

of creeps in clubs, and girls will get approached by a lot of greasy tossers with bad hair who will induce

\"eww!\" reactions, so make a conscious effort to appear as contrary to that group as possible (no, really). If a

girl in close in front looks at you over her shoulder suggestively, then she want you to move in so she can ass

grind you, so let her goddammit! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif, move in but don\'t be too

eager. She may make her excuses and leave, which is cool (or at least it should be, because you are going to look

kinda stupid whining), and it may not mean she isn\'t interested. If you catch her lurking around you later on it

doesn\'t take a genius to know you should get your arse in gear and go and talk to her.

May I please add that

girls can be as bad as guys when it comes to inappropriate dancing. Groups of less attractive girls often weasel

their way into the middle of a group of guys and back up on individuals. This can be quite annoying, it wasn\'t

invited and is often not wanted. Then there is the groping of genitals, which has been known to be painful

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif I recently had a

girl who was obviously frustrated by me start caressing me, which would have been great if a) I had given at least

some sign that it was ok, and b) I didn\'t have a gf. She came strait up to me, straddled one of my legs and

started to, err, dance pretty close. I was trying to gently move her away slightly when my mojo apparently got the

better of her /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif

As I said a while ago in a thread by Andy, I like to start kino

off with a gentle touch of the arm. You can then develop it as it seems appropriate (I posted more in the other

thread).

EXIT63

02-12-2004, 04:16 PM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
I can\'t stand when guys grab at me on the dance

floor when I am not interested. IMHO if a guy is dancing with a girl he should not take the liberty to run his hands

all over her body unless she starts it.

<hr /></blockquote>

Unless of course she\'s

drunk...Then go for it! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
What bothers me more than anything is when I am out with the girls and we are

on the dance floor and guys start grinding up all over us. GO AWAY!

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

You\'re

gettin old! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Elana

02-13-2004, 06:46 AM

No Exit....I

only wanna dance with you, my sunshine, sugar muffin, sweet cheeks, bunny faced man.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

EXIT63

02-13-2004, 07:18 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
No Exit....I only wanna dance with you, my

sunshine, sugar muffin, sweet cheeks, bunny faced man. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

<hr

/></blockquote>

Do you Lindy Hop? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Elana

02-13-2004, 07:23 AM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
No Exit....I only wanna dance with you, my sunshine, sugar muffin, sweet

cheeks, bunny faced man. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

Do you Lindy Hop? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

<hr

/></blockquote>

Only with you, my sweet daddy hepcat

EXIT63

02-13-2004, 07:32 AM

HELLZAPOPPIN /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

oscar

02-13-2004, 07:52 AM

bundyburger,

Kari posted a link in the Open Discussion forum a couple of months back that I think is very

relevant to your

question:

http://www.server2.love-scent.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=offTopic

&Number=100296&fpart=1&PHPSESSID= (\"http://www.server2.love-scent.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=offTopic&Number=10

0296&fpart=1&PHPSESSID=\")

While \"dance floor dynamics\" and the disinhibitory

effects of alcohol will tend to alter the rigidity of the \"progression\" and \"permission\" aspects of touching

in a flirting scenario as they appear in the article, I think it\'s an invaluable read for helping us establish a

set of guidelines that may help eliminate that occassional \"How Dare You!\" response.

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Here\'s the link straight to the

article:
http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html (\"http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html\")

Oscar

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

MysteriousMan

02-14-2004, 02:47 PM

<blockquote>Quote:<hr />
Do you Lindy Hop?

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

<hr /></blockquote>

I love it

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Elana

02-16-2004, 05:31 AM

That\'s

kopasetic! You are one hep rug cutter.