Cavalier
02-09-2004, 03:31 PM
Have you ever spoken
and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
testimonials of a few people who did....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?\" I turned around and walked back out and never
went back. My husband didn\'t say a word... he knew better. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf
balls. I was unhappy! with the women\'s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was
approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me. Without
thinking, I looked at him and said, \"I think I like playing with men\'s balls.\"
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
My sister and
I were at the mall and passed by a store that
sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the
display
case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed
any help. I replied, \"No, I\'m just looking at your
nuts.\"
My sister started to laugh hysterically and the boy grinned.
I turned beet-red and walked away. To this
day, my sister has never let me forget.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving \"right now\" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, \"If you don\'t let me go right
now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy\'s pee-pee last night!\" The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity
and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were
screams of laughter. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Have you
ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very
busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I
asked him if he needed to go, and he said \"No.\"
I kept thinking, \"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don\'t have any clothes with me.\" Then I said, \"Danny, are you SURE you didn\'t have an accident?\"
\"No,\" he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooo, I
asked one more time, \"Danny, did you have an accident?\" This time he jumped up, yank! down his pants, bent over
and spread
his cheeks and yelled. \"SEE MOM, IT\'S JUST FARTS!!\" While 30 people near nearly choked to death
on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking
me for the best laugh they\'d ever had. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and
a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when
you predict snow but don\'t get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn\'t, turned to the weatherman and asked: \"So Bob, where\'s that 8 inches you
promised me last night?\" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so
hard!
Now, didn\'t that feel good? I know that many of you have had some imbarrasing moments like this.. so
please tell.. come on.. be honest.. you know you have. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
testimonials of a few people who did....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?\" I turned around and walked back out and never
went back. My husband didn\'t say a word... he knew better. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf
balls. I was unhappy! with the women\'s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was
approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me. Without
thinking, I looked at him and said, \"I think I like playing with men\'s balls.\"
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
My sister and
I were at the mall and passed by a store that
sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the
display
case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed
any help. I replied, \"No, I\'m just looking at your
nuts.\"
My sister started to laugh hysterically and the boy grinned.
I turned beet-red and walked away. To this
day, my sister has never let me forget.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving \"right now\" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, \"If you don\'t let me go right
now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy\'s pee-pee last night!\" The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity
and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were
screams of laughter. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Have you
ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very
busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I
asked him if he needed to go, and he said \"No.\"
I kept thinking, \"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don\'t have any clothes with me.\" Then I said, \"Danny, are you SURE you didn\'t have an accident?\"
\"No,\" he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooo, I
asked one more time, \"Danny, did you have an accident?\" This time he jumped up, yank! down his pants, bent over
and spread
his cheeks and yelled. \"SEE MOM, IT\'S JUST FARTS!!\" While 30 people near nearly choked to death
on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking
me for the best laugh they\'d ever had. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and
a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when
you predict snow but don\'t get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn\'t, turned to the weatherman and asked: \"So Bob, where\'s that 8 inches you
promised me last night?\" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so
hard!
Now, didn\'t that feel good? I know that many of you have had some imbarrasing moments like this.. so
please tell.. come on.. be honest.. you know you have. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif