Gossamer_2701
12-16-2003, 05:02 PM
Sorry guys, I
just had to post this. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif It really makes you wonder about the
people who write these product instructions.
In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual
label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use
while sleeping.
(Damn, and that\'s the only time I have to work on my
hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be
a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap:
\"Directions: Use like regular
soap.\"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
\"Serving suggestion:
Defrost.\"
(but, it\'s \"just\" a suggestion).
On Tesco\'s Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom): \"Do
not turn upside down.\"
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread
Pudding: \"Product will be hot
after heating.\"
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
\"Do not iron clothes
on body.\"
(but wouldn\'t this save me more time)?
On Boot\'s Children Cough
Medicine: \"Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication.\"
(We could do a lot to reduce
the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: \"Warning: May cause drowsiness.\"
(and...I\'m taking this
because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: \"For indoor or
outdoor use only.\"
(as opposed
to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: \"Not to be used for the
other use.\"
(now, somebody out there,
help me on this. I\'m a bit
curious.)
On Sainsbury\'s peanuts: \"Warning: contains nuts.\"
(talk about a
news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: \"Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts.\"
(Step 3: maybe,
uh...fly Delta?)
On a child\'s superman costume: \"Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly.\"
(I
don\'t blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one.)
And my personal favorite: On a Swedish chainsaw:
\"Do
not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals.\"
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this
happening
somewhere?)
just had to post this. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif It really makes you wonder about the
people who write these product instructions.
In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual
label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use
while sleeping.
(Damn, and that\'s the only time I have to work on my
hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be
a winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap:
\"Directions: Use like regular
soap.\"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
\"Serving suggestion:
Defrost.\"
(but, it\'s \"just\" a suggestion).
On Tesco\'s Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom): \"Do
not turn upside down.\"
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread
Pudding: \"Product will be hot
after heating.\"
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
\"Do not iron clothes
on body.\"
(but wouldn\'t this save me more time)?
On Boot\'s Children Cough
Medicine: \"Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication.\"
(We could do a lot to reduce
the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those
forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: \"Warning: May cause drowsiness.\"
(and...I\'m taking this
because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: \"For indoor or
outdoor use only.\"
(as opposed
to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: \"Not to be used for the
other use.\"
(now, somebody out there,
help me on this. I\'m a bit
curious.)
On Sainsbury\'s peanuts: \"Warning: contains nuts.\"
(talk about a
news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: \"Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts.\"
(Step 3: maybe,
uh...fly Delta?)
On a child\'s superman costume: \"Wearing of this
garment does not enable you to fly.\"
(I
don\'t blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one.)
And my personal favorite: On a Swedish chainsaw:
\"Do
not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals.\"
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this
happening
somewhere?)