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View Full Version : A little advice from the men, please?



Kari
11-13-2003, 08:15 AM
A

friend of mine was just dumped by her man. Of course, she\'s hurting.. we\'ve all been there, at some time.



But, she is having a hard time preventing herself from making excuses to call him, and she is coming on to him a

little needy.

I\'m advising her that calling him isn\'t a good idea, and to play it cool. I suggested that

she distance herself, to give him the space to miss, her, if there\'s a chance that he will. If he doesn\'t miss

her, she\'s at least given herself the space to start healing.

Am I giving the right advice? Any other tips (I

mean, other than consoling herself with a hottie, which doesn\'t seem to be an option for her, at the moment).

<g>

Thanks!

Sexyredhead
11-13-2003, 08:25 AM
Not a man, but...

I went through this kinda thing recently, myself. Tell her to get busy. Go out--a

lot. Go see good local bands. Check out new restaurants. Spend some time at the bookstore with a good book and a cup

of chai. Doesn\'t matter what she\'s going out to do. But do something to keep her mind on something else and

away from her phone. It works. She\'ll get better. And if he\'s interested, he\'ll end up calling her back. If

not, she\'ll be too busy to notice.

Kari
11-13-2003, 08:30 AM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Not a man, but...

I went through this kinda

thing recently, myself. Tell her to get busy. Go out--a lot. Go see good local bands. Check out new restaurants.

Spend some time at the bookstore with a good book and a cup of chai. Doesn\'t matter what she\'s going out to

do. But do something to keep her mind on something else and away from her phone. It works. She\'ll get better. And

if he\'s interested, he\'ll end up calling her back. If not, she\'ll be too busy to notice.

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Thanks, Red!

Pancho1188
11-13-2003, 09:09 AM
I agree. Find better things to do, get your life back together as a single person, enjoy what you

have, and stay away from the guy. It\'s a LOT easier to get over someone when you never see them than if

you....say....have a class together, are in the same co-ed fraternity, and have to see them at least twice a week if

not more. Yes, I was just describing me. It only took me two months (compared to 3-6 that I heard from friends) to

finally stop caring about her at all, and that\'s with my ex being someone I saw myself spending the rest of my

life with and vice-versa.

I never liked the finding someone else thing while you were hung up on the other person

because you\'re likely to be using the new person. However, to each his own. Whatever works!

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

belgareth
11-13-2003, 09:47 AM
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
A friend of mine was just dumped by her

man. Of course, she\'s hurting.. we\'ve all been there, at some time.

But, she is having a hard time

preventing herself from making excuses to call him, and she is coming on to him a little needy.

I\'m advising

her that calling him isn\'t a good idea, and to play it cool. I suggested that she distance herself, to give him

the space to miss, her, if there\'s a chance that he will. If he doesn\'t miss her, she\'s at least given

herself the space to start healing.

Am I giving the right advice? Any other tips (I mean, other than consoling

herself with a hottie, which doesn\'t seem to be an option for her, at the moment). &lt;g&gt;

Thanks!





<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

When my first wife and I seperated, the best thing I did was to

move 300 miles away and not give her my phone number. Your friend needs to stay away from this guy and anything they

used to do together. Find a new world to play in for a few months.

Skyy
11-13-2003, 10:20 AM
I\'m assuming she is in Los Angeles too! GET OUT!! Theres a million things to do here!

CJ01
11-13-2003, 01:14 PM
kari, you gave her the right advice. But remember,when emotions are involved the things we know are the most

sensible (I´m sure she knows what she ought to be doing too) are not the ones we tend to do.
What I mean is

things are easier said than done so there´s not much you can do except let her grieve over this, be there for her

and when she´s ready give her a good time, go out partying with her

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Sorry I´m not a man either but I suppose in a case like

this it´s kind of irrelevant /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif


CJ