The Ex...

[Pancho1188]

Sorry, everyone... Just a

little venting action going on here... I was going to put this in the open discussion but realized it was

pheromone-related.

I finally got over feeling like crap about being in love with my ex-gf and having her get

scared and run away because I\'m graduating. She still wants me to be one of her best friends because I\'m the

only one she can be herself around without feeling like she needs to be happy-go-lucky (even her new bf!!!) the

whole time. Anyway, she\'s been really depressed for the first time in her life recently (I think it\'s because

she misses me, but that\'s just my little fantasy world), and of course I come in to rescue her.

We hang out

today, and I had a few drops of AE on and maybe two drops of TE. The whole time we were walking from one place to

another, she was walking right up against me (arms rubbing together and always touching). Then, at the end of our

time hanging out (I had to get out of her room because it was getting awkward for me), she gives me this big hug.

Man, I should\'ve stuck it to her by holding that hug for a few seconds and letting her get a big whiff of those

-mones... Too bad I\'m such a nice guy... *rolls eyes* Oh, well. Okay, I\'m done venting now. I\'ve just

been wondering if that whole touching me thing was the -mones or not. It\'s hard to tell. Maybe next time

I\'ll go all out with my AE-TE-SoE mix and see if I can give her a little reminder of what she gave up out of

fear... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[Ash]

</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
my ex-gf and having her get scared and run away because I\'m graduating.



<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

She broke up with you cause you\'re graduating?

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif

[Pancho1188]

Yeah, I\'m going to

bounce and she still has 2 1/2 years left in college. That, of course, brought on feelings of outrageous commitment

by still being bf/gf while apart, and I would have done anything to stay close to the school and see her as much as

possible. I don\'t blame her because that\'d freak anyone out, but to just get scared and run away is pretty

sad. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif Oh, well.

[WonderingThoughts]

Pancho1188, my

belief in true love is that if it really is true love she will return to you. If it is not true love then you are

better off without her so you can find the true love.

I suggest to let her go but make sure she knows that you

care. That way there will be no misunderstandings. A woman needs to hear from the man how he truly feels.

Otherwise she may think you don\'t care and that you are the one that wants to move on. She may feel so hurt by

you leaving that it is easier for her to break off the relationship before you do. My beliefs is that if the two of

you can communicate your feelings then do so before it is to late. Hope this helps.

[proteus]

Hey Pancho, I can relate. I

broke up with my gf very recently. Her reason when we got down to it was she was afraid she was going to get hurt

(she has deep seated issues with \"trust\" and says she always runs when something sparks this fear). Our

relationship was semi-long-distance (she lives 2 hours from me) and she got very insecure wondering what I was doing

during the week when I was away from her or the weekends when we couldn\'t get together.

We got together a

week or so (first time after the breakup), but it\'s over. Sometimes you just got to suck it up and walk and while

it\'s good to \"try and be friends\", if you\'re not really over her, that won\'t work.

Get some space

from her, start dating again, and who knows maybe in the future she might come back. But trying to hold on may just

destroy any chances of that happening.

It\'s tough I know, but there are millions of other women out there so

just get out there and forget her for the time being. It\'s working for me, although I\'ll admit sometimes it

definitely can be tough /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Sacogoo]

Pancho writes:


</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
She still wants me to be one of her best friends

because I\'m the only one she can be herself around without feeling like she needs to be happy-go-lucky (even her

new bf!!!) the whole time.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Sucker.

[EXIT63]

She\'s depressed cause her

new b/f doesn\'t rock her world like Pancho did. He\'s too much like Speedy Gonzalez!

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Pancho1188]

</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Pancho writes:
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr

/>
She still wants me to be one of her best friends because I\'m the only one she can be herself around without

feeling like she needs to be happy-go-lucky (even her new bf!!!) the whole time.

<hr /></blockquote><font

class=\"post\">

Sucker.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I am a sucker, but I have a stupid

class with her this semester. If I try to ignore her or avoid her, it\'ll just make things worse (I\'ve already

tried that). So I\'m just going to \'dance\' until I graduate and then never talk to her again. I just wish

someone saying, \'sucker\' and giving me a hard smack in the face would just make it easier to not give a

shizzzzzzzzzzzzznit... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[Elana]

I don\'t understand. She

broke up with you because of school and then she got a new boyfriend?

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif I have a feeling that there is more to the story than that.

[Pancho1188]

Yeah, it\'s part of

the whole backlash of getting out of a serious relationship. I saw it happen with two friends of mine who were

going out. He was leaving and didn\'t want to hurt her, so he broke up MONTHS before he actually left. Then he

proceeded to get into much less serious relationships (AKA \'macking it\') for fun. Besides, I\'m graduating

and this new guy isn\'t. That and we were serious and this new one is just for \'fun\' but...somehow it moved

a lot faster than expected. Let me tell you what I told her. \'Friends with benefits\' is bullshit. Someone

always gets attached. Some people just don\'t get it. Oh, well. Rock and a hard place for me for another...46

days. Then I\'m outta here and will finally be free of this crap.

[Icarus]

This may seem somewhat

alarmist, but you could roll her in a carpet and throw her off a bridge.


Sorry I can\'t be any more help, but

I have had some difficulties getting over relationships in the past. I liken it to being kicked sharply in the

gonads. Hurts like Hell at first (to the max, but it\'s not really yet sunk in) then it starts to ache and ache,

increasingly, until you can think of nothing else....

Then it\'s gone, and you wonder why you were so worked up

about *nothing*.

Just feel glad that you\'re capable of deep feelings for other people!

Hope it gets better

soon!

(so you can stop nursing your nuts /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif)

Steve

[Kari]

</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Pancho

writes:
</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
She still wants me to be one of her best

friends because I\'m the only one she can be herself around without feeling like she needs to be happy-go-lucky

(even her new bf!!!) the whole time.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Sucker.

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

I am a sucker, but I have a stupid class with her this semester. If I try

to ignore her or avoid her, it\'ll just make things worse (I\'ve already tried that). So I\'m just going to

\'dance\' until I graduate and then never talk to her again. I just wish someone saying, \'sucker\' and

giving me a hard smack in the face would just make it easier to not give a shizzzzzzzzzzzzznit...

/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

HATE it that

you are going through that, honey. Nasty-- we\'ve all been there.

If it\'s any comfort-- on a couple of

occasions, I\'ve been dumped. I was sure I\'d NEVER get over it. I did.

THEN, months later, the guy came

back. Missed me, loved me. All I could think was... \"DAMN! What did I EVER see in him?\"

(BTW-- Got a proposal

of marriage from one of the \"dumpers.\" I said \"no!\")

[Kari]

</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Yeah, it\'s part of the whole backlash of getting out of a serious

relationship. I saw it happen with two friends of mine who were going out. He was leaving and didn\'t want to

hurt her, so he broke up MONTHS before he actually left. Then he proceeded to get into much less serious

relationships (AKA \'macking it\') for fun. Besides, I\'m graduating and this new guy isn\'t. That and we

were serious and this new one is just for \'fun\' but...somehow it moved a lot faster than expected. Let me

tell you what I told her. \'Friends with benefits\' is bullshit. Someone always gets attached. Some people

just don\'t get it. Oh, well. Rock and a hard place for me for another...46 days. Then I\'m outta here and

will finally be free of this crap.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

If you read an excellent book

called, \"Mars and Venus on a Date,\" you\'ll see that she may be going through the third courtship stage-- the

\"Uncertainty Period.\" Advisement for that period is... hang back and let her miss you. BUT, if she contacts you,

don\'t let her see you have issues. Light and friendly, is the key.

Take care, kid. Love, K.