MOBLEYC57
10-03-2003, 09:12 PM
FOR THOSE THAT CAN\'T
STOP...MIGHT AS WELL KNOW WHO COULD BE YOUR BUDDY!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
ARIES
Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party
and sometimes don\'t know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot
contests. They\'re sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people
drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when
blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be
counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven\'t gone and done anything really horrible to them last
night, you sneaky Gemini.
Trademark cocktails: Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the ruler of
spicy food and red things -- and for balance, astrologers recommend they eat tomatoes, onions, olives and greens.
That\'s right, Aries, you were born under the sign of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules grapefruit, and they\'ve
been known to kick back a salty dog and a sea Breeze or two. For extreme hotcha, try a concoction with cinnamon
liqueur in it.
Drinking buddies: Marlon Brando, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Al Gore
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Thomas Jefferson, Elton John
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif, Eric McCormack, Rosie O\'Donnell, Sarah Jessica Parker
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Reese Witherspoon
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
TAURUS
Drinking style: Taurus prefers to drink at a
leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a
one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart
jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite
fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaller -- god, no. A squiffy
Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a
karaoke bar when intoxicated.
Trademark cocktails: Early-to-bed Taureans need a picker-upper -- try a Red Bull
and vodka. They also have a leviathan sweet tooth and are fond of drinks with names that sound like dessert (50-50
bar, mudslide). Sweetly caffeinated drinks, like Irish coffee or white Russians, are ideal. More macho Taureans will
go for something unpretentious, like a Jack Daniels and Coke or whiskey sour.
Drinking buddie: Cate Blanchett,
Tony Blair, Pierce Brosnan, Cher, Penelope Cruz /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, William Randolph Hearst, Jerry Seinfeld, Barbara Striesand, Uma
Thurman, Renee Zellweger /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
GEMINI
Drinking style: Geminis can
drink without changing their behaviour much -- they\'re so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that
it\'s just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing
something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Geminis possess the magic
ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to
order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer,
sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.
Trademark cocktails: Easily bored Geminis need some
stimulation in their drinks -- those with two parts, like a black and tan (or just a double), are particularly
appealing. Otherwise, they\'ll drink all over the map, ordering frou-frou drinks to add to their collection of
cocktail monkeys or going for whiskey rocks because they\'re feeling rather noir. Gemini rules the herb anise --
make some home-infused anise vodka as a gift.
Drinking buddies: George Bush Sr., Johnny Depp, Rupert Everett,
Boy George /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Allen Ginsberg, Angelina Jolie
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, John Kennedy, Ian McKellen, Kylie Minogue,
Morrissey
CANCER
Drinking style: Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work
beer or six can be extra comforting, can\'t it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs
must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP
lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get \"tired and emotional\"
(read: weepy when lubricated). But there\'s nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of
inky red wine with your favourite Cancer. Even your second-favourite Cancer will do.
Trademark cocktails: Ruled
by the moon, Cancers are intrigued by the idea of moonshine -- any brown booze, from a bourbon press to a whiskey
and soda to grandpappy\'s special brew in a mason jar, will do. They also like comfortingly warm and sweet drinks,
like hot toddies and hot buttered rums. The sign also rules the flavour vanilla, and you\'d be adored if you
served up a vanilla vodka and soda.
Drinking buddies: Pamela Anderson
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, George W. Bush /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif,
Bill Cosby, Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford, Sean Hayes, Lil\' Kim /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif,
George Michael /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Princess Diana
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Prince William
LEO
Drinking style: Leo likes to drink and
dance -- they\'re often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding
dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they\'re quite aware they\'re darling -- Leos will be Leos, after all.
They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed,
expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what brung them. But Leo\'s not the type to break rules
even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it
up to you the next day.
Trademark cocktails: Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical concoctions
festooned with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more common strawberry daiquiri or mai tai. Indeed, they often
have a taste for the fruity -- try a screwdriver, or add an extra cherry to the next Manhattan. Their sense of drama
ends itself to a kir royale, of course.
Drinking buddies: Ben Affleck, Gillian Anderson, Bill Clinton
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif, Monica Lewinsky
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Jennifer Lopez
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Madonna,
Debra Messing, Kevin Spacey, Martha Stewart, Andy Warhol
VIRGO
Drinking style: Cerebral Virgos are compelled to
impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs,
sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They
rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo\'s controlled by the intellect, but there\'s an
unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It\'s dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy).
As one Virgo friend used to declare, \"I\'m going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence tonight.\" A
toast to the subgenius IQ!
Trademark cocktails: Many Virgos prefer clear, simple, untreacly drinks like vodka
tonic or a real margarita, though you\'ll find \'em drinking anything - from unflinchingly downing Cuervo
straight to smirkingly ordering a dirty virgin. They also tend to like bitter, low-alk guzzles like Campari and
soda. They rarely change their drink once they\'ve found it, however.
Drinking buddies: Cameron Diaz, Hugh
Grant, Christopher Isherwood, Michael Jackson /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Freddie Mercury,
Carrie-Anne Moss, Dorothy Parker, Ryan Philippe, Keanu Reeves, Lily Tomlin
LIBRA
Drinking style: \"I\'m
jusht a social drinker,\" slurs Libra, \"it\'s jusht that I\'m so damn social?\" Libra loves nothing more
than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favour of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set
to \"on\") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work
a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all
sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their best
friend\'s beau or even blacking out the night\'s events entirely. Oops!
Trademark cocktails: Aesthetic
Libras like pretty, pouffy drinks like a pink lady or a brandy Alexander. That\'s the influence of Venus, their
ruling planet, which also gives them a horror of crudely named potions like Sex on the Beach. They\'re fine with
\"normal\" guzzles like apple martinis, but every Libra secretly just wants Champagne, and lots of it.
Drinking buddies: Jimmy Carter /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif, Simon Cowell, Ani DiFranco,
Janeane Garofalo, Hugh Jackman, Martina Navratilova, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sting, Oscar Wilde, Catherine Zeta-Jones
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
SCORPIO
Drinking style: Don\'t ever tell Scorpios
they\'ve had enough, for they\'ll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they\'re
hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that.
Most of them see the sauce as something to savour in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool -- though if
depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they\'re fascinating drinking pals,
brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you
were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.
Trademark cocktails: Just as a Scorpio can look you in
the eye and smile while secretly plotting your demise, so does the brandy-laced stinger\'s sweet taste hide a
potent amount of alcohol. If you want to get literal, serve them a scorpion -- they may not love tropical drinks,
but it shows you\'re paying attention. Scorpio rules watermelon, so break out the blender and fix a pitcher of
watermelon margaritas to seduce \'em -- though red wine will do the trick just as well.
Drinking buddies:
Truman Capote, Hillary Clinton /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jodie Foster,
Bill Gates, k.d. lang /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif, Megan Mullally, Demi Moore
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Sylvia Plath,
RuPaul /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
SAGITTARIUS
Drinking Style: In vino veritas -- and,
for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they\'ll spill all your secrets and many of their own.
Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would
you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They\'re the people
who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a
playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping;
spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).
Trademark cocktails: A travel-loving sign, Sagittarius might be
intrigued by drinks like Moscow mules, Singapore slings -- perhaps even a Long Island iced tea (not a bad option,
given how much Sag can put away and still stay vertical). Party monsters that they are, they\'re attracted to
shots, like the ever-popular lemon drop. Sag rules pears, and could use a nice pear cider right about now, come to
think of it.
Drinking buddies: The Bush twins, Margaret Cho, Noel Coward, Betty Ford, Lucy Liu
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Brad Pitt, Keith Richards, Frank Sinatra, Anna Nicole Smith
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Britney Spears
CAPRICORN
Drinking style: Capricorn is
usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the
astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis.
Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if
they make money being themselves, who are you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they\'re either totally
on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party,
especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.
Trademark cocktails: Old-fashioned Cap would probably like
an old-fashioned just fine -- or a dry martini, or a gin and tonic, or a gimlet -- or any other no-nonsense quaff.
They prefer drinks that taste like alcohol and generally hate drinks with more than three ingredients. However, they
like the flavour of cranberry and will order a cosmo if they can handle the wait for it to get mixed.
Drinking
buddies: Orlando Bloom, David Bowie, James Dean, Marlene Dietrich, Martin Luther King Jr., Jude Law, Annie Lennox,
Marilyn Manson, Richard Nixon /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Elvis
Presley
AQUARIUS
Drinking style: Aquarius and drinking don\'t go together that well (except for water, that
is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they\'re more
stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they\'re throwing a party or organising an outing, however, they\'re too
preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately,
they\'re usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before
they start raising their wrist): Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting
conversations with soused strangers while sober.
Trademark cocktails: Aquarius is likely to order stuff most
people have never heard of: a capirinha, Satan\'s whiskers, a negroni, an Arthur Tompkins. They like to stump the
bartender. This sign rules the colour electric blue and would be pleased by any tipple featuring blue curacao. They
also rule the olive tree, so pour the juice into that dirty martini.
Drinking buddies: Jennifer Aniston
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Ellen DeGeneres, Dr. Dre, Matt Groening, Ashton Kutcher, Ronald
Reagan /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake, Oprah Winfrey,
Elijah Wood
PISCES
Drinking style: If you\'re a Pisces, you\'ve probably already heard that you share a
sign -- and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to
lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance
fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they\'re fabulously enchanting partners, whether
in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in
bed together for days. The phrase \"addictive personality\" can be read two ways, you know.
Trademark
Cocktails: Pisces rules fresh mint, and they do love a mojito or three - though a julep will do just as well. They
also like punches, like sangria or the oh-so-aptly named fish house punch. (Pretty much anything will
satisfy a
Pisces in a pinch, though -- \"drinking like a fish\" is an idiom pulled out of the zodiac, not the deep blue
sea.) Pisces is a chocoholic and loves creme de cacao (and spiked cocoa).
Drinking buddies: Drew Barrymore
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Chastity Bono, Chelsea Clinton
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif, Kurt Cobain, Edward Gorey, Queen Latifah
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif, Liza Minelli, Anais Nin, Sharon Stone
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Liz Taylor
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------
Jen Rummy is a certified astrologer and bona fide dipsomaniac who has been drinking in celestial knowledge
since 1985.
You know you\'re an alchoholic when...you\'re holding your drink with both hands!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
What...................ever!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
STOP...MIGHT AS WELL KNOW WHO COULD BE YOUR BUDDY!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
ARIES
Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party
and sometimes don\'t know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot
contests. They\'re sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people
drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when
blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be
counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven\'t gone and done anything really horrible to them last
night, you sneaky Gemini.
Trademark cocktails: Aries, born under the hot-stuff planet Mars, is the ruler of
spicy food and red things -- and for balance, astrologers recommend they eat tomatoes, onions, olives and greens.
That\'s right, Aries, you were born under the sign of the bloody Mary. Aries also rules grapefruit, and they\'ve
been known to kick back a salty dog and a sea Breeze or two. For extreme hotcha, try a concoction with cinnamon
liqueur in it.
Drinking buddies: Marlon Brando, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Al Gore
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Thomas Jefferson, Elton John
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif, Eric McCormack, Rosie O\'Donnell, Sarah Jessica Parker
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Reese Witherspoon
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
TAURUS
Drinking style: Taurus prefers to drink at a
leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a
one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart
jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite
fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaller -- god, no. A squiffy
Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a
karaoke bar when intoxicated.
Trademark cocktails: Early-to-bed Taureans need a picker-upper -- try a Red Bull
and vodka. They also have a leviathan sweet tooth and are fond of drinks with names that sound like dessert (50-50
bar, mudslide). Sweetly caffeinated drinks, like Irish coffee or white Russians, are ideal. More macho Taureans will
go for something unpretentious, like a Jack Daniels and Coke or whiskey sour.
Drinking buddie: Cate Blanchett,
Tony Blair, Pierce Brosnan, Cher, Penelope Cruz /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, William Randolph Hearst, Jerry Seinfeld, Barbara Striesand, Uma
Thurman, Renee Zellweger /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
GEMINI
Drinking style: Geminis can
drink without changing their behaviour much -- they\'re so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that
it\'s just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing
something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Geminis possess the magic
ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to
order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer,
sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.
Trademark cocktails: Easily bored Geminis need some
stimulation in their drinks -- those with two parts, like a black and tan (or just a double), are particularly
appealing. Otherwise, they\'ll drink all over the map, ordering frou-frou drinks to add to their collection of
cocktail monkeys or going for whiskey rocks because they\'re feeling rather noir. Gemini rules the herb anise --
make some home-infused anise vodka as a gift.
Drinking buddies: George Bush Sr., Johnny Depp, Rupert Everett,
Boy George /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Allen Ginsberg, Angelina Jolie
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, John Kennedy, Ian McKellen, Kylie Minogue,
Morrissey
CANCER
Drinking style: Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work
beer or six can be extra comforting, can\'t it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs
must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP
lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get \"tired and emotional\"
(read: weepy when lubricated). But there\'s nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of
inky red wine with your favourite Cancer. Even your second-favourite Cancer will do.
Trademark cocktails: Ruled
by the moon, Cancers are intrigued by the idea of moonshine -- any brown booze, from a bourbon press to a whiskey
and soda to grandpappy\'s special brew in a mason jar, will do. They also like comfortingly warm and sweet drinks,
like hot toddies and hot buttered rums. The sign also rules the flavour vanilla, and you\'d be adored if you
served up a vanilla vodka and soda.
Drinking buddies: Pamela Anderson
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, George W. Bush /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif,
Bill Cosby, Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford, Sean Hayes, Lil\' Kim /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif,
George Michael /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Princess Diana
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Prince William
LEO
Drinking style: Leo likes to drink and
dance -- they\'re often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding
dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they\'re quite aware they\'re darling -- Leos will be Leos, after all.
They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed,
expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what brung them. But Leo\'s not the type to break rules
even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it
up to you the next day.
Trademark cocktails: Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical concoctions
festooned with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more common strawberry daiquiri or mai tai. Indeed, they often
have a taste for the fruity -- try a screwdriver, or add an extra cherry to the next Manhattan. Their sense of drama
ends itself to a kir royale, of course.
Drinking buddies: Ben Affleck, Gillian Anderson, Bill Clinton
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif, Monica Lewinsky
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Jennifer Lopez
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Madonna,
Debra Messing, Kevin Spacey, Martha Stewart, Andy Warhol
VIRGO
Drinking style: Cerebral Virgos are compelled to
impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs,
sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They
rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo\'s controlled by the intellect, but there\'s an
unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It\'s dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy).
As one Virgo friend used to declare, \"I\'m going to drink myself into a low level of intelligence tonight.\" A
toast to the subgenius IQ!
Trademark cocktails: Many Virgos prefer clear, simple, untreacly drinks like vodka
tonic or a real margarita, though you\'ll find \'em drinking anything - from unflinchingly downing Cuervo
straight to smirkingly ordering a dirty virgin. They also tend to like bitter, low-alk guzzles like Campari and
soda. They rarely change their drink once they\'ve found it, however.
Drinking buddies: Cameron Diaz, Hugh
Grant, Christopher Isherwood, Michael Jackson /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Freddie Mercury,
Carrie-Anne Moss, Dorothy Parker, Ryan Philippe, Keanu Reeves, Lily Tomlin
LIBRA
Drinking style: \"I\'m
jusht a social drinker,\" slurs Libra, \"it\'s jusht that I\'m so damn social?\" Libra loves nothing more
than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favour of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend device set
to \"on\") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work
a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all
sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with their best
friend\'s beau or even blacking out the night\'s events entirely. Oops!
Trademark cocktails: Aesthetic
Libras like pretty, pouffy drinks like a pink lady or a brandy Alexander. That\'s the influence of Venus, their
ruling planet, which also gives them a horror of crudely named potions like Sex on the Beach. They\'re fine with
\"normal\" guzzles like apple martinis, but every Libra secretly just wants Champagne, and lots of it.
Drinking buddies: Jimmy Carter /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif, Simon Cowell, Ani DiFranco,
Janeane Garofalo, Hugh Jackman, Martina Navratilova, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sting, Oscar Wilde, Catherine Zeta-Jones
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
SCORPIO
Drinking style: Don\'t ever tell Scorpios
they\'ve had enough, for they\'ll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they\'re
hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that.
Most of them see the sauce as something to savour in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool -- though if
depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they\'re fascinating drinking pals,
brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you
were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.
Trademark cocktails: Just as a Scorpio can look you in
the eye and smile while secretly plotting your demise, so does the brandy-laced stinger\'s sweet taste hide a
potent amount of alcohol. If you want to get literal, serve them a scorpion -- they may not love tropical drinks,
but it shows you\'re paying attention. Scorpio rules watermelon, so break out the blender and fix a pitcher of
watermelon margaritas to seduce \'em -- though red wine will do the trick just as well.
Drinking buddies:
Truman Capote, Hillary Clinton /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jodie Foster,
Bill Gates, k.d. lang /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif, Megan Mullally, Demi Moore
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Sylvia Plath,
RuPaul /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
SAGITTARIUS
Drinking Style: In vino veritas -- and,
for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they\'ll spill all your secrets and many of their own.
Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would
you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They\'re the people
who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a
playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping;
spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).
Trademark cocktails: A travel-loving sign, Sagittarius might be
intrigued by drinks like Moscow mules, Singapore slings -- perhaps even a Long Island iced tea (not a bad option,
given how much Sag can put away and still stay vertical). Party monsters that they are, they\'re attracted to
shots, like the ever-popular lemon drop. Sag rules pears, and could use a nice pear cider right about now, come to
think of it.
Drinking buddies: The Bush twins, Margaret Cho, Noel Coward, Betty Ford, Lucy Liu
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Brad Pitt, Keith Richards, Frank Sinatra, Anna Nicole Smith
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif, Britney Spears
CAPRICORN
Drinking style: Capricorn is
usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the
astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis.
Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if
they make money being themselves, who are you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they\'re either totally
on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party,
especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.
Trademark cocktails: Old-fashioned Cap would probably like
an old-fashioned just fine -- or a dry martini, or a gin and tonic, or a gimlet -- or any other no-nonsense quaff.
They prefer drinks that taste like alcohol and generally hate drinks with more than three ingredients. However, they
like the flavour of cranberry and will order a cosmo if they can handle the wait for it to get mixed.
Drinking
buddies: Orlando Bloom, David Bowie, James Dean, Marlene Dietrich, Martin Luther King Jr., Jude Law, Annie Lennox,
Marilyn Manson, Richard Nixon /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Elvis
Presley
AQUARIUS
Drinking style: Aquarius and drinking don\'t go together that well (except for water, that
is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they\'re more
stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they\'re throwing a party or organising an outing, however, they\'re too
preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately,
they\'re usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before
they start raising their wrist): Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting
conversations with soused strangers while sober.
Trademark cocktails: Aquarius is likely to order stuff most
people have never heard of: a capirinha, Satan\'s whiskers, a negroni, an Arthur Tompkins. They like to stump the
bartender. This sign rules the colour electric blue and would be pleased by any tipple featuring blue curacao. They
also rule the olive tree, so pour the juice into that dirty martini.
Drinking buddies: Jennifer Aniston
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Ellen DeGeneres, Dr. Dre, Matt Groening, Ashton Kutcher, Ronald
Reagan /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif, Christina Ricci, Justin Timberlake, Oprah Winfrey,
Elijah Wood
PISCES
Drinking style: If you\'re a Pisces, you\'ve probably already heard that you share a
sign -- and an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to
lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance
fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they\'re fabulously enchanting partners, whether
in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and wind up in
bed together for days. The phrase \"addictive personality\" can be read two ways, you know.
Trademark
Cocktails: Pisces rules fresh mint, and they do love a mojito or three - though a julep will do just as well. They
also like punches, like sangria or the oh-so-aptly named fish house punch. (Pretty much anything will
satisfy a
Pisces in a pinch, though -- \"drinking like a fish\" is an idiom pulled out of the zodiac, not the deep blue
sea.) Pisces is a chocoholic and loves creme de cacao (and spiked cocoa).
Drinking buddies: Drew Barrymore
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Chastity Bono, Chelsea Clinton
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif, Kurt Cobain, Edward Gorey, Queen Latifah
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif, Liza Minelli, Anais Nin, Sharon Stone
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif, Liz Taylor
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Jen Rummy is a certified astrologer and bona fide dipsomaniac who has been drinking in celestial knowledge
since 1985.
You know you\'re an alchoholic when...you\'re holding your drink with both hands!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif
What...................ever!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif