Third Day report...

[Brian]

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I\'m constantly mystified by the female mind when it comes to dating.

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Don\'t even try to understand women in general, because you never will. Simply enjoy, and respect them for who they are. You will live a longer and happier life if you do. That\'s what I do. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Brian

[CJ01]

randa, 28 and 40 ? What age gap? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[CJ01]

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I think part of the problem is the idea that if a women goes out on a \"date\" with a guy she thinks she\'s expected to \"put out\" after desert.

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Ash, after spending a lot of time on this forum you will find that this IS what most men expect, maybe not on a first date but after the second one for sure. And history keeps repeating itself.

I like hanging out with men myself, but I´ve found that if I do show interest in one they either feel so flattered they actually want a sort of relationship or they´re like, thanks but I´m not interested in sleeping with you WTF? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif talk about being conceited.
And sadly, this hasn´t got much to do with age either, it´s been like this at high school and it´s like this with men of all ages. Sad but true.

A lot of guys think it´s a waste of time to spend time with a woman unless he´s gonna be getting laid by her or one of her `more attractive friends`.
What can I say, this type of stuff is what I´ve been reading on this very board for years now.

Erm, btw, not all women enjoy housework y´know /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[DaVinciKittie]

Post deleted by belgareth

[CJ01]

Yeah, spot on!

All you need to try to understand is ONE woman anyway - the one you´re with.


And we´re not aliens, we´re human beings and not THAT different from men at all. Why make things more complicated than they really are or have to be. Why create strange obstacles where they wouldn´t be if you didn´t think of them in the first place... Oh dear I´m rambling, it´s late I better shut up now /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Brian]

Post deleted by belgareth

[CJ01]

Brian, you´re generalizing terribly. Never mind, most epole here do. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[Elana]

I didn\'t take what Brian said as a put down. We can be a bit of a mystery. That\'s what makes us so special. It\'s nice to leave them guessing. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Brian]

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Brian, you´re generalizing terribly. Never mind, most epole here do.

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CJ,

That\'s pretty unfair to the rest of the people on this forum. What would you have me say, ok, your right? Sorry, I\'m not a \"yes\" man. I made an innocent statement that you and DVK, seemed to take offense to. As Elana said, it was meant to be a compliment. Men and women are different, accept it. It\'s not going to change. For me personally, the differences is what makes a good relationship so wonderful. I pick my fights, I didn\'t expect the kind of reception I got from that post. As I said before, I wouldn\'t have bothered posting if I had known. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Brian

[tallmacky]

It\'s not a big deal to ask Brian, infact it\'s just a truth that hasn\'t been analyzied at all during this thread instead just passed off, why? One issue I don\'t understand and I think is an inequality is the expectation that men must, have to learn just why a woman tilts her head during a movie, why she doesn\'t like this or that. Maybe even more expectations like learning how to say the exactly correct thing at the right time or a number of other situations which involve the male in total obessession with a women\'s in my opinion fickel behavior. I believe usually a girl expects a man to be her \"girlfriend\" (as in friend). That\'s not possible, people get together with people who obtain a role in the situation...sure these roles can get really dynamic and different but they are rarely the same role.

Women maybe you know an attractive gay male, you may even think he could make a good boyfriend...but seriously think about that? Would it work, if he had the same personality/gay tendencies, but was simply straight? The differences between men and women and the misunderstandings (yes, not understanding) are there for a reason. Women may at times even purposely act \"illogical\" while it is very logical and done for logical reasons such as keeping things interesting, finding out if the male has true love, and seeing if this male will stick around through all the tough times AKA B/S. Why not have women learn to understand men more? Have them learn why men do certain things? Apart from that having a basic understanding of the opposite sex is very important if you are good enough you may even master it, but being consumed with fickel and motive driven behavior is irrational.

[tallmacky]

Shouldn\'t there also be a level of honesty? Learning is good having empathy for a woman and knowing when and how to treat her because that\'s the way you would want to feel, but asking men to learn women is no better than the guys who read book after book on how to \"attack that ass, and obtain your dream woman\". It\'s the same falseness and illusion by which some bathe in.

[Brian]

Great post tallmacky /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Elana]

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Women maybe you know an attractive gay male, you may even think he could make a good boyfriend...but seriously think about that? Would it work, if he had the same personality/gay tendencies, but was simply straight?

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">That\'s actually a good point, Jason. I was complaining about a guy to my girlfriend, and she asked me a similar question. I thought about it and the answer was no. I would not like the man I am with to see things my way all of the time and to be that opened, let\'s talk about our feelings kind of a guy. I want him to be a man and not my puppet. Yes, I know there is a middle ground, but it\'s not always easy to find that, so you just have to enjoy the different personalities. I know I do. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[tallmacky]

Thanks Elana. Good situation that was reality based, some things do work on paper? I think Nature does things the best it can and probably knows far more than we do. There are males and females for very important reasons and their actions for the most part are important in the preservation of any species.....or so they say. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif If it wasn\'t an essential pattern than why would other relationships follow this sometimes exactly (not passing a wide judgment). Like a lot of homosexuals, there always seems to be the dominant male like partner and the feminine one. Why would this be if they were merely seeking just a female form? Same goes for many male homosexuals, maybe because in any sexual relationship this role is actually an important one? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[CJ01]

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Quote:
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Brian, you´re generalizing terribly. Never mind, most epole here do.


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CJ,

That\'s pretty unfair to the rest of the people on this forum. What would you have me say, ok, your right? Sorry, I\'m not a \"yes\" man. I made an innocent statement that you and DVK, seemed to take offense to. As Elana said, it was meant to be a compliment. Men and women are different, accept it. It\'s not going to change. For me personally, the differences is what makes a good relationship so wonderful. I pick my fights, I didn\'t expect the kind of reception I got from that post. As I said before, I wouldn\'t have bothered posting if I had known.

Brian

--------------------
If you do what you always did, you\'ll get what you always got.


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Brian, you obviously misinterpreted what I´d written´, I may as well have left out the smilies. Oh dear. We´re not having fights here either, we´re discussing and voicing our opinions. No need to be offended or get defencive.
women and men are different, but like I said, not AS different as most people reckon, that´s all. (especially those who make money on this subject).


Christ maybe I should stop responding to these posts aaaargh.


CJ /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[tallmacky]

Don\'t worry, be happy CJ!

(you are very nice)

[Elana]

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Christ maybe I should stop responding to these posts aaaargh.

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:::hands CJ a glass of wine::::
Don\'t you go anywhere. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Brian]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Brian, you´re generalizing terribly. Never mind, most epole here do.

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CJ,

In the first place I wasn\'t offended. I was surprised by the response, but not offended. Secondly, how can your statement be taken in a positive way? I quoted you above. Read what you wrote. Tell me that wasn\'t meant to be a sarcastic remark towards me, and all the forum members. I don\'t know about you, but if someone smacks me up side the head, I\'m going to smack them back. Why does everything have to be analyzed to death. Why can\'t things be taken in the spirit that it is given? I will guarantee you, that if a woman on this forum said the same thing as I did, about men, no one would have given that statement a second thought. Talk about a double standard. As I said, I\'m not offended, I\'m disagreeing with you, and DVK. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Brian

[Elana]

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I will guarantee you, that if a woman on this forum said the same thing as I did, about men, no one would have given that statement a second thought.

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I think you are right about that

[DaVinciKittie]

Brian, *I* didn\'t interpret CJ\'s remark (the one that you quoted) as sarcastic or rude to you or ANY of the forum members. I agree with her- many of the people here do generalize overly much (specifically boys who think they know everything about women *or* take the other approach and generalize, just as you did, that all women are incomprehensible). We aren\'t trying to pick a fight with you. I think that your initial post, and most of the subsequent ones, in this thread had an edgy, almost provacative tone, so that is why I spoke up. You\'re certainly welcome to have and voice your opinion- just understand that not everyone agrees, and just because we might speak up in opposition, we are not necessarily targeting you specifically. I speak up in an attempt to reach some of the less open minded people here, and I apologize if you took that as a personal affront. This topic (men and women and the differences and misunderstandings) has come up so often that I don\'t even feel it\'s worth debating anymore- just read the forum files if you want a good debate. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif Anyway, just thought I\'d clarify. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Brian]

I want to apologize to the thread starter (randa), for messing up her thread with this. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

Brian