MOBLEYC57
09-06-2003, 10:36 AM
LAB TEST MIX-UPS
A man takes his wife to the doctor and after a few days the doctors office calls to say there was a problem with the results of tests and they ask him to come in to discuss it.
The doctor says \"your wifes lab tests were mixed up and were not sure whether she has aids or alzheimers\". The man says, \"what should I do, how can I find out\", to which the doctor says: \"Take her to the mall parking lot, drop her off, and drive home - if she makes it back home - I wouldn\'t fu#k her if I were you!\"
THAT LITTLE JOHNNY FELLA
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse\'s legs, rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, \"Dad, why are you doing that?\" His father replied, \"Because I\'m buying horses. I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.\"
Johnny looked worried...\"Then I think we\'d better hurry home right away.\" \"Why?\" said his father. \"Because the UPS man stopped by yesterday, I think he wants to buy Mom.\"
BERT & MABEL
Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm. \"Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how\'s about a quick screw?\" said Bert. Mabel\'s answer as expected was, \"No Bert, it\'s only 6 days to go, however you can have a look at your prize.\"
The next night Bert again pesters Mabel. Being an understanding sort, Mabel gives in and says, \"It is still 5 days to go and as you\'ve been a good fellow,
I\'ll let you have a little feel of your prize.\"
It only makes matters worse for Bert and by the next night he can hardly contain himself.Seeing his obvious predicament Mabel greets Bert and whispers in his ear, \"I can see what your problem is but you\'ve still got 4 days to go. I will however let you have a good sniff of your prize.\"
Not being bashful, Bert lifts Mabel\'s skirts and sniffs. After a minute he comes up for air, \"Mabel, do you think it will keep \'till Saturday?!?\"
WISHING ALL OF YOU MONE FREAKS A SAFE AND RELAXING WEEKEND!
What...ever!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
A man takes his wife to the doctor and after a few days the doctors office calls to say there was a problem with the results of tests and they ask him to come in to discuss it.
The doctor says \"your wifes lab tests were mixed up and were not sure whether she has aids or alzheimers\". The man says, \"what should I do, how can I find out\", to which the doctor says: \"Take her to the mall parking lot, drop her off, and drive home - if she makes it back home - I wouldn\'t fu#k her if I were you!\"
THAT LITTLE JOHNNY FELLA
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse\'s legs, rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, \"Dad, why are you doing that?\" His father replied, \"Because I\'m buying horses. I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.\"
Johnny looked worried...\"Then I think we\'d better hurry home right away.\" \"Why?\" said his father. \"Because the UPS man stopped by yesterday, I think he wants to buy Mom.\"
BERT & MABEL
Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm. \"Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how\'s about a quick screw?\" said Bert. Mabel\'s answer as expected was, \"No Bert, it\'s only 6 days to go, however you can have a look at your prize.\"
The next night Bert again pesters Mabel. Being an understanding sort, Mabel gives in and says, \"It is still 5 days to go and as you\'ve been a good fellow,
I\'ll let you have a little feel of your prize.\"
It only makes matters worse for Bert and by the next night he can hardly contain himself.Seeing his obvious predicament Mabel greets Bert and whispers in his ear, \"I can see what your problem is but you\'ve still got 4 days to go. I will however let you have a good sniff of your prize.\"
Not being bashful, Bert lifts Mabel\'s skirts and sniffs. After a minute he comes up for air, \"Mabel, do you think it will keep \'till Saturday?!?\"
WISHING ALL OF YOU MONE FREAKS A SAFE AND RELAXING WEEKEND!
What...ever!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif