Good Question about Desperation

[nczeebs]

Responses from women are especially helpful on this one.

It seems like there are times where I am very successful with women and others where i can\'t attract one to save my life. I think my problem is desperation. Alot of my friends say they see desperation plastered all over me when I go out. Although one of them lately says he has seen me be less desperate lately, in turn my success with women has been a little better lately. A couple nights ago i was not desperate and played it cool and ended up with this girl all over me. Last night desperation reared it\'s ugly head again. Question for the ladies is: what makes a guy appear to be desperate? i would like to know what makes a guy appear to be desperate so i can stop appearing to be so. I want to eliminate this problem desperately. THanks

nczeebs

[Sagacious1420]

OK, I \'m not a woman, but...I think that women seem to be more skilled at reading the subtleties of body language. I think that it could also be more of an intuitive thing for them.
There was a discussion about cetain pheromones that project a specific mental state, e.g. like fear. Some have put forth the idea that pheros can highten whatever mental state you\'re in. You can probably find it if you wanna do a search...it wasn\'t that long ago.
Don\'t know if this is helpful or more confusing, but there it is, anyway. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[proteus]

Be careful as regards listening to what your \"friends\" have to say. I say this because a lot of time, if you\'re approaching ladies, doing what your pals don\'t have the balls to do, they will mess with your state and say negative things to get you back in the herd. If they are getting laid it\'s a different matter and do listen to them, but if their luck with women is no better than yours, block their neg. comments out or you\'ll stay exactly as you are right now.

Having said that appearing desperate is no good that\'s true. But you have to find a way to balance not appearing desperate with also being aggressive and confident and continuing to approach the ladies. How to do this is hard to explain and I think only comes with practice - so just keep getting out there and interacting with women and in time with adjustments you\'ll find what works for you.

[akinu]

Not acting desperate relies on not BEING desperate. You may need a gf to get out of that. If bars make you desperate dont go to bars for some time. If you still have to, then operate apart from your friends.

[CptKipling]

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Responses from women are especially helpful on this one.

It seems like there are times where I am very successful with women and others where i can\'t attract one to save my life. I think my problem is desperation. Alot of my friends say they see desperation plastered all over me when I go out. Although one of them lately says he has seen me be less desperate lately, in turn my success with women has been a little better lately. A couple nights ago i was not desperate and played it cool and ended up with this girl all over me. Last night desperation reared it\'s ugly head again. Question for the ladies is: what makes a guy appear to be desperate? i would like to know what makes a guy appear to be desperate so i can stop appearing to be so. I want to eliminate this problem desperately. THanks

nczeebs

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Just stop trying so hard.

Go out to have fun, I\'m sure you dont go out to beat yourself up about not getting any, so just have some fun! If that includes finding a girl, then that\'s just a bonus, you are out for your enjoyment.

You appear despirate when all of your attention is focused on one girl, or just you need to get a girl. The guys that get girl dont worry about it so much, so neither should you!

[LatentOne]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Be careful as regards listening to what your \"friends\" have to say. I say this because a lot of time, if you\'re approaching ladies, doing what your pals don\'t have the balls to do, they will mess with your state and say negative things to get you back in the herd. If they are getting laid it\'s a different matter and do listen to them, but if their luck with women is no better than yours, block their neg. comments out or you\'ll stay exactly as you are right now.


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Though I agree with this, there are times when having friends around can help. It depends on your relationship with you buddies I guess. Herd mentality can be counter productive at times but at other times, it can be that little added boost. There are times when my friends and I often chided each other about a girl one of us sees and likes. There\'s the \"come on dude, go talk to her\" vs the \"I don\'t think you have it in you\" talk but really it\'s all in good fun.

Wome are masters at body language. Some realize it and use it, some don\'t. But they all project it and most can \"read it\" in a guy I think...almost like their sixth sense. *LOL* If you read a lot of the advice columns in various mens magazines (some of which are supposedly written by women) you\'ll usually see advice about \"reading her body language\".

I guess they\'re trying to tell us something. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif