seadove
06-21-2003, 09:40 PM
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that\'s the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: \"Directions: Use like regular soap.\" (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: \"Serving suggestion: Defrost.\" (but, it\'s \"just\" a sugges tion).
On Tesco\'s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): \"Do not turn upside down.\"(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:\"Product will be hot after heating\" (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: \"Do not iron clothes on body.\" (but wouldn\'t this save me more time?)
On Boot\'s Children Cough Medicine:\"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.\" (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: \"Warning: May cause drowsiness\" (and...I\'m taking this because???.....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: \"For indoor or outdoor use only.\" (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: \"Not to be used for the other use.\" (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I\'m a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury\'s peanuts: \"Warning: contains nuts.\" (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: \"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.\"( Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child\'s superman costume: \"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.\"
I don\'t blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one:
On a Swedish chainsaw:\"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.\"
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that\'s the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: \"Directions: Use like regular soap.\" (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: \"Serving suggestion: Defrost.\" (but, it\'s \"just\" a sugges tion).
On Tesco\'s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): \"Do not turn upside down.\"(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:\"Product will be hot after heating\" (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: \"Do not iron clothes on body.\" (but wouldn\'t this save me more time?)
On Boot\'s Children Cough Medicine:\"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.\" (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: \"Warning: May cause drowsiness\" (and...I\'m taking this because???.....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: \"For indoor or outdoor use only.\" (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: \"Not to be used for the other use.\" (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I\'m a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury\'s peanuts: \"Warning: contains nuts.\" (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: \"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.\"( Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child\'s superman costume: \"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.\"
I don\'t blame the company. I blame the parents for
this one:
On a Swedish chainsaw:\"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.\"
(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)