Enticing
06-19-2003, 06:09 AM
Subject: Human resources memo
Dear Supervisors:
It has been brought to management\'s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.
Therefore, a list of \"TRY SAYING\" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
TRY SAYING
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF
And when the f**k do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING
I\'m certain that isn\'t feasible.
INSTEAD OF
No f**king way.
TRY SAYING
Really?
INSTEAD OF
You\'ve got to be sh*tting me!
TRY SAYING
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF
Tell someone who gives a sh*t.
TRY SAYING
I wasn\'t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF
It\'s not my f**king problem.
TRY SAYING
That\'s interesting.
INSTEAD OF
What the f**k?
TRY SAYING
I\'m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF
This sh*t won\'t work.
TRY SAYING
I\'ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF
Why the hell didn\'t you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING
He\'s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF
He\'s got his head up his @ss.
TRY SAYING
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF
Eat sh*t and die.
TRY SAYING
So you weren\'t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF
Kiss my @ss!!
TRY SAYING
I\'m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF
F**k it, I\'m on salary.
TRY SAYING
I don\'t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF
Shove it up your @ss!!
TRY SAYING
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF
This job sucks.
TRY SAYING
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF
Who the hell died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING
I see.
INSTEAD OF
Bl*w me.
TRY SAYING
He\'s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF
He\'s a prick.
TRY SAYING
She\'s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF
She\'s a ball-busting bitch.
TRY SAYING
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF
You don\'t know what the f**k you\'re doing.
Thank You, Human Resources
Dear Supervisors:
It has been brought to management\'s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.
Therefore, a list of \"TRY SAYING\" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.
TRY SAYING
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF
And when the f**k do you expect me to do this?
TRY SAYING
I\'m certain that isn\'t feasible.
INSTEAD OF
No f**king way.
TRY SAYING
Really?
INSTEAD OF
You\'ve got to be sh*tting me!
TRY SAYING
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF
Tell someone who gives a sh*t.
TRY SAYING
I wasn\'t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF
It\'s not my f**king problem.
TRY SAYING
That\'s interesting.
INSTEAD OF
What the f**k?
TRY SAYING
I\'m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF
This sh*t won\'t work.
TRY SAYING
I\'ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF
Why the hell didn\'t you tell me sooner?
TRY SAYING
He\'s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF
He\'s got his head up his @ss.
TRY SAYING
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF
Eat sh*t and die.
TRY SAYING
So you weren\'t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF
Kiss my @ss!!
TRY SAYING
I\'m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF
F**k it, I\'m on salary.
TRY SAYING
I don\'t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF
Shove it up your @ss!!
TRY SAYING
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF
This job sucks.
TRY SAYING
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF
Who the hell died and made you boss?
TRY SAYING
I see.
INSTEAD OF
Bl*w me.
TRY SAYING
He\'s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF
He\'s a prick.
TRY SAYING
She\'s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF
She\'s a ball-busting bitch.
TRY SAYING
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF
You don\'t know what the f**k you\'re doing.
Thank You, Human Resources