MOBLEYC57
06-04-2003, 08:02 PM
1. \"My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn\'t.\"
2. \"I don\'t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.\"
3. \"I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!\"
4. \"Some people are alive only because it\'s illegal to kill them.\"
5. \"Don\'t take life too seriously - you won\'t get out alive.\"
6. \"You\'re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.\"
7. \"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.\"
8. \"Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.\"
9. \"NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room spinning medicine.\"
10. \"I\'m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.\"
11. \"I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.\"
12. \"God must love stupid people - he made so many of them.\"
13. \"It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.\"
14. \"I took an IQ test and the results were negative.\"
15. \"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.\"
16. \"Beer - the reason I get up each afternoon!\"
17. \"I must be a proctologist because I work with buttheads!\"
18. \"Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.\"
19. \"Procrastinate now.\"
20. \"Rehab is for quitters.\"
21. \"My dog....can lick anyone.\"
22. \"I have a degree in liberal arts - Do you want fries with that?\"
23. \"Party - My Crib - Two A.M.\" (On a baby-size shirt).
24. \"Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I\'ve been doing since I was 15.\"
25. \"Arkansas: One million people and 15 last names.\"
26. \"FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.\"
27. \"I\'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I\'VE GOT A GUN.\"
28. \"A hangover is the wrath of grapes.\"
29. \"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.\"
30. \"STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!\"
31. \"DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music.\"
32. \"They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.\"
33. \"He who dies with the most toys is none-the-less dead.\"
34. \"Time is fun when you\'re having flies\"...Kermit the Frog.
35. \"POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN....Cops have nothing to go on.\"
36. \"FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.\"
37. \"HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON\'T BELIEVE IN GOSH.\"
38. \"HAM AND EGGS - A day\'s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.\"
39. \"WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years.\"
40. \"The trouble with life is there\'s no background music.\"
41. \"The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.\"
42. \"MOP AND GLOW - The floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.\"
GOT\'A SPOON I CAN BORROW? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif
2. \"I don\'t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.\"
3. \"I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!\"
4. \"Some people are alive only because it\'s illegal to kill them.\"
5. \"Don\'t take life too seriously - you won\'t get out alive.\"
6. \"You\'re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.\"
7. \"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.\"
8. \"Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.\"
9. \"NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room spinning medicine.\"
10. \"I\'m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.\"
11. \"I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.\"
12. \"God must love stupid people - he made so many of them.\"
13. \"It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.\"
14. \"I took an IQ test and the results were negative.\"
15. \"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.\"
16. \"Beer - the reason I get up each afternoon!\"
17. \"I must be a proctologist because I work with buttheads!\"
18. \"Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.\"
19. \"Procrastinate now.\"
20. \"Rehab is for quitters.\"
21. \"My dog....can lick anyone.\"
22. \"I have a degree in liberal arts - Do you want fries with that?\"
23. \"Party - My Crib - Two A.M.\" (On a baby-size shirt).
24. \"Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I\'ve been doing since I was 15.\"
25. \"Arkansas: One million people and 15 last names.\"
26. \"FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.\"
27. \"I\'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I\'VE GOT A GUN.\"
28. \"A hangover is the wrath of grapes.\"
29. \"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.\"
30. \"STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!\"
31. \"DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music.\"
32. \"They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.\"
33. \"He who dies with the most toys is none-the-less dead.\"
34. \"Time is fun when you\'re having flies\"...Kermit the Frog.
35. \"POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN....Cops have nothing to go on.\"
36. \"FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.\"
37. \"HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON\'T BELIEVE IN GOSH.\"
38. \"HAM AND EGGS - A day\'s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.\"
39. \"WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years.\"
40. \"The trouble with life is there\'s no background music.\"
41. \"The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.\"
42. \"MOP AND GLOW - The floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.\"
GOT\'A SPOON I CAN BORROW? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif